I've noticed a lot of people here post questions about narcissists. I see quite a lot mystification about them, as they are some alien creatures or so. I was diagnosed as a narcissist so I can post about it, from a first hand perspective. My narcissism wasn't radical, but I fit in the concept. Being narcissist means having an image of yourself which you adore. I saw myself as better than others, because I was 'more open minded', I was 'the most intelligent comedian' (I was doing stand up comedy at that time), and so on. I had all these concepts about myself being better than others and I perceived myself through those concepts. I saw myself as being better than others and I always had an argument, and in fact, those arguments sometimes made sense. I was better than some people at some things, but the thing is, that doesn't define you as a person. I let those concepts define me and I looked at myself through them. I was never manipulative or harmful towards others at any way. I was just really impressed about myself. But under those narcissistic beliefs about myself there was immense fear and feeling weak and weaker than others. Under all that there was insecurity and pain. I became aware that I am a narcissist during the psychotherapy I was having because of the anxiety and panic attacks. At first when my therapist told me that I'm a narcissist I didn't really realize that I am. It took time, but eventually I saw that I am. And even now, a lot of time ago, I still notice some narcissistic traits in my personality. But I am aware of them, and that changes everything. Here, I hope I helped some people to understand narcissism better. Peace out friends.
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