petak, 27.07.2018.
Hvala @Semper
Preuzeto sa : https://tinabellcreations.wordpress.com/2015/08/28/5-ways-to-respond-to-cyber-haters-and-bullies/
So, here are some effective ways to respond to haters and stand-up against bullying that will ensure you neither bottle it up nor become one yourself:
1. Do not respond. Seems too simple right? That’s because it is. This option is the best in most cases since it requires zero effort on your part. Bullies/haters often make hateful comments to get a rise out of you or get attention themselves. “Bad publicity is still publicity” is their motto. But its not yours. Don’t acknowledge their existence or their efforts to harass. Not only will they likely stop since you are not giving them the attention they crave, but it sends the message that they are such a waste of your time and energy, that you don’t even bother/care. Let’s let Karma handle it from here!
2. Do not perpetuate. Gossip is fun. Unfortunately gossip is a weapon. Rumors start from misconceptions about gossip or intentionally to hurt someone. Studies have found that when we point out flaws in others, it is our way of projecting our insecurities or our own flaws onto others. So, if you fuel the rumor-mill, what insecurities are you projecting? Petty is not a good color on anyone. Confidence is the best color you can wear and if talking bad about others means you’re insecure, you need to not engage in gossip in order to look your best! Its science!
3. Bully-shame. “There are certain shades of limelight that can wreck a girls complexion” –Holly Golightly Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Shine that limelight on them folks! Friends, fans, and hater-police will bully-shame that person into hiding. I am not one for shaming, but I do think a haters intent is to get attention and to shame. And I am not one to stand in their way of getting both of those things. Nothing vexes them more than getting exactly what they deserve. Post something in response like: “what do you think guys (fans) do I look fat in this photo”? or “whatever helps you sleep at night” or “we are all entitled to our opinions…even if they are wrong ;)”.
4. Leave the comment/post. This one may be my favorite. It takes a strong person not to delete the comment or automatically respond fumed. Take a breath and leave it. Allow the public forum to handle the situation. Not only is this incorporating multiple healthy response methods such as “do not respond” and “bully shame”, but it only makes you look good. Deleting the comment will only show them they got to you. People are entitled to their opinions and when you are putting yourself out there in the public sphere, you pose the risk of people not liking what you do. Even if you live a 100% pure and positive outlook, someone will hate it.
5. Vent. This response method, if used properly, can incorporate all the above. Use your social media platform for good. Blog, post, or tweet about it. DO NOT NAME NAMES. Let your fans/friends read into your cryptic message however they want. Every one can relate to the message since we all went to High School and remember how awful it was. Do not give them the attention, just leave it there in cyber space and write a blog addressing bullies/haters in general. Say something like “certain people hate on what I do and that’s okay because it makes me happy and that’s all that matters”. This way you are relate-able, real, positive and can maybe help someone else who is struggling along the way.
Just remember all good ideas are never adopted as popular opinion at first–that’s what makes them different, unique and inspires change. So, if you have haters, that means you are on the cutting-edge. Embrace your haters and give them something to hate: fabulousness without a scratch. Stay strong and classy and nothing can touch you.
27.07.2018. u 08:11 •
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utorak, 24.07.2018.
Dama s bijelim šeširom
Sjedim s majkom ispred hladnog ognjišta u zimskom vrtu. Pozdravljamo rijetke trenutke tišine i mira razgovorom o svakodnevnici. Prepričavam joj jutarnji odlazak u goste. Gospođa, kod koje smo muž i ja bili na kavi, nedavno je ostala bez supruga, a njeno četvero djece bez oca. Objesio se na vikendici. Majka me pita:
- Kako se drži?
- Kako se svi mi držimo? Izvana se te stvari ne vide. – odgovaram joj, a tišina se spušta na nas poput olova.
Nedavno sam srela poznanicu, rekla mi je da je njenom tati dijagnosticiran rak mozga, bio je na operaciji, daju mu godinu dana. Nisam s njome mogla razgovarati o tome, nisam ju tješila, nisam joj rekla kako je to strašno, niti sam joj davala savjete. Kasnije sam joj poslala poruku, ne bih li joj objasnila zbog čega sam ostala hladna:
„Moja sestra je umrla od raka dojke 6 mjeseci nakon što je dijagnosticiran, ja o tome još ne mogu razgovarati s ljudima. Neke rane vrijeme ne može izliječiti, ali čovjek nauči živjeti s time, i nauči sakriti svoju bol i tugu pred ljudima koji to nisu prošli, jer koliko god se trude oni to ne mogu razumjeti. Znam kroz što prolaziš, moje srce je uz tvoje, moje molitve se pridružuju tvojima.“
Ne vjerujem u ozdravljenje od raka. Moja krsna kuma umrla je tjedan dana prije moje sestre, sedam godina prošlo je od dijagnoze i operacije. Prijateljičin otac umro je nakon par godina borbe. Možda je nekom dano par godina više, nekome manje, vjerujem postoje i čuda, rana otkrivanja i slično, ali u konačnici, na svako to čudo dođe veliki broj sasvim prosječnih ljudskih nesreća.
Nakon godinu dana još uvijek sam u prvoj fazi tugovanja – nijekanje. Povremeno mi sjećanje kako masiram sestrine kosti dok miris strvine puni moje nosnice, zamuti vid i stavi prsni koš u škripac sa šiljcima, ali brzo zatvorim vrata pred tom slikom. Koristim hladni zid otklanjanja, ignoriranja, svjesnog izbjegavanja svega što ima veze sa rakom, kao jedini način da se u javnosti pred ljudima, ili vlastitim djetetom, ne raspadnem.
Ne plačem pred publikom, ne želim razgovarati o tome, ne želim da itko zna koji užas vlada u meni. Moja unutrašnjost je živi mrak koji ždere sam sebe.
Kolegice mi prilaze i s lakoćom blaženog neznanja spominju oboljele od raka i kako je to strašno. Nemaju jebenog pojma koliko je to strašno, jer da imaju, zanijemile bi od hladnog strahopoštovanja spram užasa koji su ti ljudi prošli.
Holivudski filmovi romantično prikazuju oboljele, kao osobe pune mudrosti koji tješe svoje voljene, pomireni sa sudbinom. Moja sestra je htjela živjeti, do zadnjeg trenutka htjela je živjeti, bila je iracionalno uvjerena da će ozdraviti, jer nema zdrave logike u činjenice da žena od 34 godine iz pune psihofizičke spreme, difovka, vegetarijanka, ljubitelj bio-organsko-makrobiotskih sranja, nepušačica, majka dvoje djece koja je dojila, u roku 6 mjeseci okopni na šaku kostiju i trulu ranu na prsima. Nema logike, ali život nije logičan. Smrt nije logična.
Prolazim kraj ljudi i mislim si kako su sretni. A onda se prisjetim, i oni prolaze kraj mene i misle kako sam ja sretna. Mlada dama u ljetnoj haljini, sa bijelim šeširom i sunčanim naočalama, obasjana jutarnjim zrakama sunca, ide na posao. Cijeli život je pred njom.
24.07.2018. u 08:54 •
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