NEMANJA: SMIRENOUMLJE

Fus-nota: Simon Critchley & Tom McCarthy

...committing suicide by holding his breath.



Časkajući s gosparom Marijem Kopićem o Simonu Critchleyu, primjetio sam da je riječ o Prvom filozofu društva čiji je Tom McCarthy osnivač: Međunarodnog nekronautičkog društva.
O Tomu, kao i o tom društvu, Vaseljena je pisala prošle godine, 12. i 14. lipnja, neposredno prije promocije "Truliksa".
Prisjetit ćemo se te prve informacije o autoru u nas prevedenog Ostatka, blagovremeno predstavljenog postom Remainder.
Budući da je Prvi filozof nekronautičkog kružoka nedavno objavio knjigu "The Book of Dead Philosophers" - proširenu obradu teze da filozofirati znači učiti kako umrijeti - kao uvod u temu donosim bizarnu top-listu:

Simon Critchley's top 10 philosophers' deaths

Simon Critchley was born in Hertfordshire in 1960, and currently lives and works in New York as Professor of Philosophy at the New School for Social Research. He failed dramatically at school before failing in a large number of punk bands in the late 70s and failing as a poet some time later. This was followed by failure as a radical political activist. By complete accident, he ended up at university when he was 22 and decided to stay. He found a vocation in teaching philosophy, although his passions still lie in music, poetry and politics. The Book of Dead Philosophers is his eighth book.

"It is the ambition of The Book of Dead Philosophers to show that often the philosopher's greatest work of art is the manner of their death," says Critchley.

1. Heracleitus (540-480 BC)

Heracleitus became such a hater of humanity that he wandered in the mountains and lived on a diet of grass and herbs. But malnutrition gave him dropsy and he returned to the city to seek a cure, asking to be covered in cow dung, which he believed would draw the bad humours out of his body. In the first version of the story, the cow dung is wet and the weeping philosopher drowns; in the second, it is dry and he is baked to death in the Ionian sun.

2. Diogenes (d.320 BC)

Once described as "a Socrates gone mad", Diogenes asked to be buried face down "because after a little time down will be converted into up". He is said to have been nearly 90 when he died, either after eating raw octopus or by committing suicide by holding his breath.**

3. Chrysippus (280-207BC)

Perhaps the greatest of the Stoics. There are two stories of his death, both involving alcohol. In the first, he took a draught of sweet wine unmixed with water, was seized with dizziness and died five days later. But the second is even better: after an ass had eaten his figs, he cried out to an old woman, "Now give the ass a drink of pure wine to wash down the figs". Thereupon, he laughed so heartily that he died.

4. Avicenna (980-1037)

Avicenna wrote some 450 books including The Canon of Medicine, the standard medical textbook in Europe for seven centuries. Towards the end of The Life of Avicenna, his disciple Al-Juzajani writes "The Master was vigorous in all his faculties, the sexual faculty being the most vigorous and dominant of his concupiscible faculties, and he exercised it often". However, Avicenna's priapic performances caused a case of what his disciple vaguely calls "colic". "Therefore," Al-Juzajani continues, "he administered an enema to himself eight times in one day, to the point that some of his intestines ulcerated and an abrasion broke out on him." In addition, one of his servants, who had stolen a large sum of money from Avicenna, gave him a huge quantity of opium in order to try and kill him. In this perilous state, Avicenna journeyed to Isfahan, but he was so weak that was unable to stand. Eventually, he gave in to his illness at the age of 58.

5. Thomas Aquinas (1224/5-1274)

On 6 December 1273 during mass in Naples, something devastating happened to Aquinas that some commentators see as a mystical experience and others see as a cerebral stroke. Either way, he was afterwards unwilling or unable to write and the massive labour of his Summa Theologiae was suspended at Part 3, Question 90, Article 4. Yet, despite his transformation, he was summoned by the Pope to attend the Council of Lyons. On the way, he was injured by the bough of a tree and died at the age of 49. On his deathbed, Aquinas dictated a brief commentary on Solomon's Song of Songs, which sadly has not survived.

6. Francis Bacon (1561-1626)

During a particularly cold winter, Bacon was travelling with a Scottish physician and fell upon the idea that flesh might as well be preserved in snow as in salt. They got out of the carriage at the foot of Highgate Hill and bought a hen from a poor woman who lived there. Bacon then stuffed the hen with snow and was immediately taken ill with a chill. Unable to return home, he was put to bed at the Earl of Arundel's house in Highgate. Sadly, the bed was so damp that his condition worsened and, according to Hobbes, "in 2 or 3 days, he dyed of Suffocation".

7. De la Mettrie (1709-1751)

The author of the materialist manifesto, The Man-Machine, died after eating a huge dinner at the house of the French ambassador to Berlin, Monsieur Tirconnel. Apparently, La Mettrie expired from the effects of indigestion caused by eating a huge amount of slightly dodgy truffle pâté. Voltaire reports that although Frederick the Great was concerned with the manner of the philosopher's death, he said, "He was merry, a good devil, a good doctor, and a very bad author. By not reading his books, one can be very content".

8. Denis Diderot (1713-1784)

After an exhausting return trip from St Petersburg, at the invitation of his patron Catherine the Great of Russia, Diderot became ill, took to his bed, and decided to stop speaking. He enjoyed a brief respite from his illness and was able to sit at table with his wife. He ate soup, boiled mutton and chicory and then took an apricot (some sources claim it was a strawberry). His daughter, Angélique, takes up the story, "My mother wanted to stop him from eating that fruit. 'But what the devil kind of harm do you expect it to do to me?' He ate it, leaned his elbow on the table to eat a compote of cherries, coughed gently. My mother asked him a question; since he remained silent, she raised her head, looked at him, he was no more."

9. AJ Ayer (1910-1989)

The year before he died, after recovering from pneumonia in University College Hospital in London, Ayer choked on a piece of salmon, lost consciousness and technically died. His heart stopped for four minutes until he was revived. A day later, he had recovered and was talking happily about what had taken place during his death. He saw a bright red light which was apparently in charge of the government of the universe. The ministers for space were oddly absent, but Ayer could see the ministers in charge of time in the distance. Ayer then reports that he suddenly recalled Einstein's view that space and time were one and the same and tried to attract the attention of the ministers of time by walking up and down and waving his watch and chain. To no avail, however, and Ayer grew more and more desperate and then regained consciousness. Ayer was shaken by the experience and in an article for the Sunday Telegraph, he suggested that it did provide "rather strong evidence that death does not put an end to consciousness".

10. Michel Foucault (1926-1984)

Foucault was first hospitalized in June 1984 with the symptoms of a nasty and persistent flu, fatigue, terrible coughing and migraine. "It's like being in a fog," he said. But he carried on working until the end on the second and third volumes of The History of Sexuality, which appeared shortly before his death. Although he was a very early victim of the virus, it seems that Foucault knew that he had Aids. Foucault was fond of reading Seneca towards the end and died on 25 June like a classical philosopher.




Nego, vidi, bio si nepriseban pa nisi uspio poloviti konce koje sam predao u nejake ruke: ovo je Patologija, a Svijet ima Nekronaute! To ti ništa ne govori? Ne sugerira li ti ta okolnost možda činjenicu da smo na razini svjetskopovijesnog stanja u Duhu!? Morali bi nas staviti izravno na državni proračun, hoću kazati: ako išta u ovoj zemlji ima veze s Okruglim Svijetom, onda je to ova književnost, koja 28. ima debut: tamo Nekronauti, ovdje Patoblozi, i jedan i drugi manifest su tu, prezentni, pa, molim, neka mi netko sada kaže da Hrvatska nema literarnu produkciju koja je u rangu najboljega što svijet može ponuditi! Jasno, tu ponajprije spada moj veličanstveni opus naznačen u izboru Izabranih Lijepih i Uzvišenih Radova na Vaseljeni, potom ova ingeniozna pjesmica o Veni i Ženi, kao i stanoviti patuljci na zlatnim kuglama i nadrealističke kreature koje lebde ponad poda usred začudnog performancea, koji je, možda, poetski jedino nadmašio Liječeni, u svojim borealnim neosemantkonkretističkim mahnitanjima. Dakle, pročitajmo:

Međunarodno nekronautičko društvo

"Tom McCarthy je osnivač i glavni tajnik Međunarodnog nekronautičkog društva (International Necronautical Society), poluizmišljeneavangardne mreže umjetnika koja postoji samo na internetu i koja se među ostalim proslavila provaljivanjem na site BBC-ja i stavljanjem propagande u svoj izvorni kod.
U manifestu INS-a McCarthy kaže kako je njegova glavna uloga osvijestiti nepravedno zatajen fenomen smrti, obratiti i opjevati njenu estetiku, filozofiju i narav, jer normalno bi društvo pojedinaca trebalo veselo i otvorenih očiju jedriti prema smrti, kao nautičari prema horizontu.
Stvaranje sredstva za takvu navigaciju, imaginarnog plovila, kranji je cilj INS-a, piše McCarthy.
INS se bavi i ispitivanjem odnosa umjetnosti i demokracije, tvrdeći da prava demokracija i umjetnost uzajamno igroriraju, čak i preziru, jer je diktatura jedini društveni ustroj koji titra umjetnicima budući da ih treba za svoju propagandu i kolektivno podjarmljivanje."

Markiz: "Zanimljivo, no ipak mi se čini da je McCarthy prije godinu dana plazio patologijom i sad prodaje svoj plagijatorski koncept svijetu. Želim da mi netko pošalje e-mail od McCarthyja da ga upozorim na odmazdu koja će uslijediti nakon takve bezočne krađe. Izgnaniče, Liječeni, ustajte braćo! Satrimo nekronaute u korijenu!"

Nemanja: "Čuj, pogledaj ove frapantne, vrtoglave koincidencije:
ONI: "...diktatura je jedini društveni ustroj koji titra umjetnicima budući da ih treba za svoju propagandu i kolektivno podjarmljivanje."
MI:"...Ništa mu ne znači činjenica što sam, usprkos svojoj monarhijskoj orijentaciji, javno podržao Zombrlea uoči izbora za predsjednika stranke.
Nažalost, datumi idu njemu u prilog."

Markiz: "Oh bože, možda su mi izvanzemaljci presadili McCarthyjev mozak?
Moram pitati Krešimira Mišaka koliko su se zadržali tijekom posljednjeg boravka u Zagrebu."

Nemanja: "Moram te upozoriti na datum tog događaja (vidiš da je to prokleto vrijeme prevažno!):

"Teško je razmišljati bez mozga. Kad su započinjali sekciju odstranili su mi lubanjski svod na koji se zalijepilo malo te smjese. Sad više ne znam kako se to zove jer mi nedostaje baš taj dio nužan za prosudbu. Čuo sam da se nešto zove neurotransmitor, ali mislim da to nije to. Poslije sam vidio taj dio glave na stolu u koji je čistačica šiljila olovku. Možda je to ono što mi nedostaje? Ona je pobjegla pa su došli neki i stavili pincetu u to nešto. Sad samo gledam u ništa i uopće ne znam što. "

(Post je objavljen 04.08.2006. u 08:30 sati, na Patologiji)

P.S.

Bilo je to i inače teško vrijeme; da je tome tako svjedoči i Manistrina izjava, dana toga dana pri zdravoj pameti: "Udajem se! Manistra." Očito je da su vanzemljaci operirali na širem području.

Moram ovdje citirati već klasičnu raspravu "Rigor mortis":



Rigor mortis

Posjetitelju, zabunom si stigao na Patologiju - ti vjerojatno tražiš Mišaka i njegov blog 'Preko ruba znanosti'. Naime, tamo je elaborirana tema koja je tebi od životne važnosti, ali da ne bazaš uokolo s tim svojim hendikepom na vratu, prosljeđujem ti, dobrohotan kakav već jesam u svojoj notornoj filantropiji, najvažnije informacije:

"Koliko nam je potreban mozak?

Kada je na Sveučilištu u Sheffield-u u Engleskoj, doktor primio jednog od svojih studenata zbog neke manje ozlijede primjetio je da je glava studenta malo veća od prosjeka. Proslijedio ga je na neurologiju kod profesora John Lorber-a na snimanje glave (CAT). Rezultat pregleda pokazao se dosta nevjerovatnim, naime umjesto dvije hemisfere koje bi ispunjavale prostor lubanje, u studentovoj glavi nalazilo se manje od 1 mm cerebralnog tkiva - odnosno, laički rečeno, taj čovjek uistinu nije imao mozga. Kao paradoks svemu tome student je imao IQ 126, i dobro mu je išao studij.
U skladu s onim što znamo o neurologiji, student je po svim pravilima trebao biti mrtav, te nije čudno što je takav nalaz čudio u mjeri u kojoj je fascinirao. No to nije bio izoliran slučaj. 1970 godine, u New Yorku, tijekom autopsije čovjeka od otprilike 35 godina, ustanovljeno je da ni on nije imao mozak. Profesor Lorber je otkrio još ljudi sa istim nedostatkom, no ipak su živjeli posve normalnim životom.
Ovaj paradoks povukao je mnoga pitanja. Jedno od njih svakako je: Gdje pohranjujemo memoriju? Ukoliko mozak nije taj u kojem pohranjujemo sjećanja i iskustva neophodna preživljavanju - čemu on služi? Gdje se nalazi inteligencija i o čemu ovisi? Gdje je naš um?"

Eto. Bitno sam podcrtao ja. Nemoj zahvaljivati, pusti to. I ne boj se! nisi sam! ima i drugih nego ti koji nepoznati od tebe žive tvojim životom. Nažalost, postoji pobratimstvo takvih lica (in fronte) u svemiru: dobri profesor Lorber otkrio je još ljudi s istim nedostatkom, no ipak su živjeli, tja, posve normalnim životom: jeli su, čohali se po trbuhu, navijali za Dinamo, pisali neBuloze, glasovali za HDZ ili SDP, čitali 'Sportske novosti', gledali Red Carpet i Schpitzu, nastupali u Najslabijoj kariki, drkali uz Severinin home-video, pjevali uz Mladena Grdovića, ljetovali na Viru, čitali Bulića, šljakali u EPH (ahahahahahah...)...
Ima puno ljudi koji nemaju tu "tvoju" vrijednu osobinu. Ovo te saznanje može ohrabriti, možda i usmjeriti, no od svega je važnije da odluke kojima postaješ donosiš sam: prije no se otruješ*, popuši si. Kad stigneš na patologiju, konačno ćeš biti u nečemu jedinstven: bit ćeš prvi čovjek bez mozga koji je u glavi imao - kurac!
Nije puno, ali, i to je nešto.
Pogodiš li timing i dozu, možda ti na usnama zauvjek ostane smiješak.
Rigor mortis!
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*Čemu trovanje? A kako si mislio drukčije? Pucanj u glavu gubitak je vremena i metaka: tebi metak uđe na jedno uho unutra, a na drugo izađe, kao čovječanstvu za Prvog svjetskog rata, kao je rekao Kraus. Vješanje se pokazalo neučinkovitim: tako praznoglav visio bi obješen i tijekom cijelog Božića a da se ništa ne promijeni, i samo bi ti stara majka predbacila da si obješenjak.
Da se giljotiniraš, nema svrhe, kako je pokazao slučaj glave Cara Lazara, tvog zagrobnog supatnika:"Pođe glava preko polja sama...". (Usput, pronašao sam u guslarskim napjevima o Kosovskom boju divnu sliku:"očima rasutim po polju: Aj krst i luna na nebu se kolju"; kako je imaginacija srpskog narodnog genija osebujna, primjećuješ li?)
Da ne duljim, ti si gotovo besmrtan: tebi je nemoguće nauditi dekapitacijom, tebi je nužno odstraniti tijelo, a ne glavu!
Dakle, nisam stručnjak, ali mislim da se riješenje krije u blokiranju autonomnog živčanog sustava i pokušaju da obustaviš disanje: jesi li probao ne izdahnuti? To bi bilo originalno!
Bio bi prvi čovjek u povijesti čovječanstva koji je umro Krajnjim Paradoksom: tvoj bi Epitaf glasio: Izdahno je, ne izdahnuvši! E, ako ti ja nisam pomogao, ne znam tko jest!**

Prof.dr.hi-fi Stefan Nemanja, veliki župan 24.03.2007. (07:37) NEMANJA 14.06.2007. 15:57

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** Vidite kako veliki umovi slično misle! Diogen i ja, svaki u svom vremenu, mislili smo istu, veličanstvenu misao, koju je on, k tome, sproveo u djelo. Kao što je razvidno iz moga teksta, ja nisam znao za taj njegov kapric, tu njegovu rješenost da umre paradoksalno, svojevoljno, zadržavši dah, ne dijeleći tako teoriju od prakse, no sve i da sam znao, ne bih ga u tom naumu zaustavio.