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- 04:52 -
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Yesterday morning was ok, I had a big breakfast and went to work. It was very exciting day, and after work I went on couple of beers. When I came home my mother asked me where I was, I saw in her eyes that she does not like my words. Few weeks ago, in a merry hour, friend told me that this blog is my cry for help. It is not, first of all, it is a way to push myself to look more like a man and less like a barrel. But along the way I started writting about everything that crossed my mind. It still is a blog about weight control, and everything else is just part of it, as it realy is. I never asked for help and I do not want help of any kind, i know that I probably look like a lunatic, but I've made my choices and I know why I did it. All I ever did I was by my conscience and I am not saying that I know it all or that I'm right. Other thing that led me was respect. When I found out that this writting looks like cry for help I felt strange, because I know how words can be pulled out of context and interpreted in some other way. I do not want that to happen, but I can not controle it, all I can do is to be careful when I write as much as I have to be careful when I do anything and I realy try to my best whatever I do. Maybe in some way this blog is a way to explain myself to everyone else as well as to myself. I have my working hours, my drinking hours and my sleeping hours, period. So, when I came home brother asked me if I want to go with him to Osijek and I agreed. It is nice to go for a ride, to just drive, listen to music and talk about normal stuff. When we came back I started collecting leaves on lawn in front of the house. Just about then my mom and her friend came back from thair evening walk. My mom still was thinking about that afternoon beer of mine and wanted me to go inside probably to keep her friend from feeling my beer breath. I do not know if I still had that bear breath, but I understood what she was thinking, so I just went inside and early fell asleep. I'm not Ben Sanderson and I know that I have to live and make something out of my life, but my free time is my free time. |
