Godina je 1996… Mnogi istaknuti kulturni i javni radnici smatraju da su osobna računala nevažna pomodarija, te daju javne izjave da oni ne kane „tome“ doći ni blizu. U mnogim poduzećima još tvrde da se oni ne kane kompjuterizirati - ne vide zašto bi. Međutim, već postoje oni koji do kasno u noć sjede za kompićima i pomoću modema protočnosti 56 KB uspostavljaju vezu sa srodnim dušama u svijetu. Pionirsku ulogu kod nas odigrala je Zamirova mreža preko koje se moglo doći do prvih internetskih konferencija. Posebno je to bilo značajno u zemljama bivše Jugoslavije. Dok su svi ostali mediji, s rijetkim iznimkama poput „Ferala“, „Arkzina“ i „Starta nove generacije“, puhali u nacionalističke plemenske trube, na internetskim konferencijama poput /SOC/CULTURE/YUGOSLAVIA i /SOC/CULTURE/CROATIA nisu bili rijetki inače rijetki razumni glasovi, iako je ondje često bilo izravnih sučeljavanje zagriženih i raspomamljenih likova sa svih strana. I jedno i drugo bilo je dragocjeno. U prvom slučaju bilo važno vidjeti da nisu baš svi pobudalili, u drugome se moglo pratiti kako se argumenti (i uvrede) odvaguju, što je oslobađalo ovisnosti o samo jednom izvoru. Pored ozbiljnih stvari bilo je i čiste zajebancije, i vjerojatno se u nju može ubrojiti poruka koja se jednog dana pojavila. Ispričavam se onima koji ne koriste engleski, ali mnogo bi se izgubilo prevodom:

To: /SOC/CULTURE/YUGOSLAVIA, /SOC/CULTURE/CROATIA
CC: /SOC/CULTURE/POLISH, /SOC/CULTURE/CZECHO-SLOVAK, /SOC/CULTURE/RUSSIA, /SOC/CULTURE/SLOVENIA
From: jm83889@novoprot.com (James McIntyre)
Subject: Help me find E.European mail-order bride
Date: Su 12.05.96, 10:50 (received: 13.05.96) Size:1358 Bytes
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi,

I'm 39 years old and I realize now that I want to settle down and have a wife and kids.

However, as I am quite obese and not particularly handsome, I've been thinking about getting a mail-order bride from some exotic country like Croatia or Czechoslovakia. I kind of like the idea of an arranged marriage, and I hear these Slavic women are quite subservient and they truly become your marital slave.

I would like a tall woman maybe 5'10" but very very thin. She should have long curly hair (she can perm it, I don't care) and she should have enormous breasts. I hear it takes about 6-8 weeks for the order to go through, it costs about $4000, and it's run from an outfit in Prague.

Please, no Bosnian or Chechen refugees.

Also, I really like Polish food (and I guess the others are about the same), so I would like for her to cook for me. It wouldn't hurt if she wouldn't mind getting a part time job at night while I sleep. Every penny counts!

And while I'm not physically attractive, I have many positive qualities like a good heart and strong Christian family values. I even donate a portion of my earnings to the Christian Coalition.

If anyone can put me in touch with one of those agencies, I'd really appreciate it. Also, if you can pick by name, I'd like either Svetlana or Olga.

Thanks,

Jim


Jim je dobio mnoštvo odgovora od kojih sam pohranio samo neke:

To: /SOC/CULTURE/YUGOSLAVIA, /SOC/CULTURE/CROATIA
CC: /SOC/CULTURE/POLISH, /SOC/CULTURE/CZECHO-SLOVAK, /SOC/CULTURE/RUSSIA, /SOC/CULTURE/SLOVENIA
From: borsky@dial.pipex.com (J Borsky)
Subject: Re: Help me find E.European mail-order bride
Date: Su 12.05.96, 18:56 (received: 13.05.96) Size:2664 Bytes
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Most esteemed young Sir,

I am sure that my friend and well-connected socialite Eva Poste-Restante
could help you in your quest to find a fine bride, in line with your
expectations and meeting or even exceeding your specifications.

Luck is definitely on your side! The slim types that you require are in very little demand, as local menfolk prefer females of more substantial build that could (at a push) pull a plough. Hint: look for "prdelka jako dva kminy" label and ask for a discount. ;-)

Eva P-R, as I know her, would want to satisfy you in even the most minute of details, so please state your preferred moustache colour.

Do note that young females from Prague are deemed more sophisticated (eg. can be relied on not to fart during the really quiet passages in opera) and thus always carry a premium, fetching sometimes as much as 4 or even 5 goats. (Last week reported rates). And do not forget some glass beads for Eva P-R for her troubles.

Finally, could you please indicate whether your future wife would have a separate corner in your zemljanka or would she be expected to share with livestock?

On behalf of Eva Poste-Restante
znamena se v ucte,

Jiri Borsky

***********************************************
To: /SOC/CULTURE/YUGOSLAVIA, /SOC/CULTURE/CROATIA
CC: /SOC/CULTURE/POLISH, /SOC/CULTURE/CZECHO-SLOVAK, /SOC/CULTURE/RUSSIA
CC: /SOC/CULTURE/SLOVENIA
From: jpi@dit.lth.se (J. Piasecki)
Subject: Re: Help me find E.European mail-order bride
Date: Tu 14.05.96, 15:44 (received: 15.05.96)
Size: 1303 Bytes
----------------------------------------------------------------------
In article <3197EBF9.225B@your.own.ass>,
rude stoner wrote:
>James McIntyre wrote:

>> as I am quite obese and not particularly handsome, I've been
>> thinking about getting a mail-order bride from some exotic country
>> ... I hear it costs about $4000 ... Please, no Bosnian or Chechen refugees.
>> Also, I really like Polish food ... I would like for her to cook for me
>> It wouldn't hurt if she wouldn't mind getting a part time job at night
>> while I sleep. Every penny counts! ... And while I'm not physically
>> attractive, ... I'd like either Svetlana or Olga. Jim

>Hang on, let me stop laughing.... Jim, listen, you shall never see a
>pussy in your life. ... >Rude

He never did. But it is just the reason for his plea being deliciously fresh as self-advertising goes ... hang me, too .... let us honor him in making this in a payed matrimonial add with is email adress ... no, rather hang me ...

halv-dead by lauther attack jp


But "Every penny counts!"?
and "McIntire?"

Quizzy.
It may be a lover of Scottish who posted it under such a name...
Maybe it is his wife who wrote it. Must be. She would know him best.



****************************************
To: /SOC/CULTURE/YUGOSLAVIA, /SOC/CULTURE/CROATIA
CC: /SOC/CULTURE/POLISH, /SOC/CULTURE/CZECHO-SLOVAK, /SOC/CULTURE/RUSSIA, /SOC/CULTURE/SLOVENIA
From: Marko_Zagar@REGATE.dpie.gov.au (Marko Zagar)
Subject: Re: Help me find E.European mail-order bride
Date: We 15.05.96, 14:03 (received: 15.05.96) Size: 141 Bytes
----------------------------------------------------------------------
You certainly won't find a slovenian girl with your qualities. How about trying the local dog pound. Seems to be more your style.

Marko

**************************************
To: /SOC/CULTURE/YUGOSLAVIA, /SOC/CULTURE/CROATIA
CC: /SOC/CULTURE/POLISH, /SOC/CULTURE/CZECHO-SLOVAK, /SOC/CULTURE/RUSSIA, /SOC/CULTURE/SLOVENIA
Followup: /SOC/CULTURE/POLISH
From: cypis@rexio.uci.agh.edu.pl (Lukasz Grochal)
Subject: Re: Help me find E.European mail-order bride
Date: We 15.05.96, 07:25 (received: 16.05.96) Size: 677 Bytes
----------------------------------------------------------------------
: jm83889@novoprot.com (James McIntyre) writes:
: > However, as I am quite obese and not particularly handsome, I've been thinking about getting a mail-order bride from some exotic country like Croatia or Czechoslovakia. I kind of like the idea of an arranged marriage, and I hear these Slavic women are quite subservient and they truly become your marital slave.
[ and so on ]

No problem, man, for about $10,000 i will send you one, well packed and with sattisfaction guarantee... (or I rerturn all costs)
--
Lukasz (cypis) Grochal (.)

Polska dla Polakow!
ziemia dla ziemniakow!
(zaslyszane)


***********************************
To: /SOC/CULTURE/YUGOSLAVIA, /SOC/CULTURE/CROATIA
CC: /SOC/CULTURE/POLISH, /SOC/CULTURE/CZECHO-SLOVAK, /SOC/CULTURE/RUSSIA, /SOC/CULTURE/SLOVENIA
From: darek1@nando.net (darek)
Subject: Re: Help me find E.European mail-order bride
Date: Fr 17.05.96, 03:16 (received: 17.05.96) Size: 1973 Bytes
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Try Bogus Piotrowski, soon to be Bogusia Piotrowska from Toronto. He is gettin the female hormones now, as can be seen from the shit that he's posting here on scp.
As soon as the sex change operation is completed, you'll have your lady. He's kind of fat & ugly, so you may have to put him on diet. In fact, you may want to starve the SOB to death, I don't care... He already has enormous breasts, but they are going to be even bigger after the operation.

You can reach him at cp685@FreeNet.Carleton.CA
Regards,
Darek

**************************
To: /SOC/CULTURE/YUGOSLAVIA, /SOC/CULTURE/CROATIA
CC: /SOC/CULTURE/POLISH, /SOC/CULTURE/CZECHO-SLOVAK, /SOC/CULTURE/RUSSIA, /SOC/CULTURE/SLOVENIA
From: primo@wantree.com.au (Vjeran Planinc)
Subject: Re: Help me find E.European mail-order bride
Date: We 22.05.96, 01:30 (received: 22.05.96) Size: 868 Bytes
----------------------------------------------------------------------
S. Brajkovic wrote:

>My advice to you is to get some psychological counselling, for obviously >you need help!


Not Psychological counselling........
Just a strong right hand!!!