We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.

srijeda, 24.10.2007.

What have I done wrong?

Rekla je: "Promijenila si se."
Ja sam rekla: "Zašto to misliš?"
Rekla je da sam se razbahatila i da pljujem po svemu.
Ja sam je pitala po čemu to točno.
Ona je rekla da sam se smijala jednom natpisu u svlačioni, a da to nije smiješno.

Ja sam rekla-dobro.
Ja sam mislila-nisam se promijenila, oduvijek sam bila takva. Uvijek su mi takve stvari bile smiješne. Samo što sam sada odlučila iskazati svoje mišljenje o tome. Meni nitko nikada ne može reći da nisam slušala ljude i bila rame za plakanje kad je trebalo. Zbilja jesam, bez lažne skromnosti. I dalje sam takva. Samo sam sada odlučila izolirati one dijelove koji me ni u kojoj verziji nimalo ne zanimaju. Koje sam znala slušati satima i satima. Čak i kada nitko nije htio biti moje rame za plakanje. Slušala sam. Sada sam jednostavno odlučila prestati. Previše informacija dobijam na dan i ne želim znati još i one meni potpuno nevažne.
E sad, po tom pitanju sam se promijenila. Zapravo i nisam, samo sam promijenila pristup određenim stvarima.
Odlučila sam isključiti licemjerje iz svog života. Jer ja licemjerje prezirem.
I ne želim govoriti jedno, a raditi drugo.
Niti želim ponašati se tako da izgledam kao da me nešto zanima, a zapravo to nije istina. Nije pravedno ni prema drugima, a ni prema meni.

I baš je sve sjebano. I škola. I vrijeme. I odnos sa starom. Ali oke, to zapravo varira.
Želim samo malo odmora. Od svega. I svih.
I želim dva iz matematike. Ajoj! Kad bi se to bar ispunilo.
I želim barem dva iz zemljopisa.
I želim da me sutra probudi sunce.
I želim gledati neki dobar film.
I želim opet ići u Prag.
I želim da moje oči poprime točno određenu boju.
I želim svašta.
I želim prestati pisati ovaj post i zamarat sve žive.
I želim vam reći da idem na francuski. ((:
I želim vam reći da vas sve voli vaša Muha!

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What though the radiance
which was once so bright
Be now for ever taken from my sight,
Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendour in the grass,
of glory in the flower;
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind;
In the primal sympathy
Which having been must ever be;
In the soothing thoughts that spring
Out of human suffering;
In the faith that looks through death,
In years that bring the philosophic mind.

William Wordsworth

All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten.
Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sand pile at school.

These are the things I learned:
*Share everything.
*Play fair.
*Don't hit people.
*Put things back where you found them.
*Clean up your own mess.
*Don't take things that aren't yours.
*Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
*Wash your hands before you eat.
*Flush.
*Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
*Live a balanced life - learn some and think some
and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.
*Take a nap every afternoon.
*When you go out in the world, watch out for traffic,
hold hands and stick together.
*Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup:
the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why,
but we are all like that.
*Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and
even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die. So do we.
*And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books
and the first word you learned - the biggest word of all - LOOK.
-Robert Fulghum-

It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.

Samwise Gamgee, The Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers

"Love is not blind - it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less."
Rabbi Julius Gordon

"We don't always get to choose what we love."
Scott Westerfeld

"Love isn't a decision. It's a feeling. If we could decide who we loved, it would be much simpler, but much less magical."
Trey Parker and Matt Stone

"To accomplish great things, we must dream as well as act."
Anatole France

"Do not weep; do not wax indignant. Understand."
Baruch Spinoza

"To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost."
Gustave Flaubert