When I remember
I close my eyes
With both of my hands
Laid on my heart
And I send it all to You
Hopefully it can pierce
To the other side
As I said…
“Whatever happens, I love You...”
(written up to 18.07.2018)
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This is what I feared the most!
But never did I expect it
To happen.
Never!
I feel bad
I’m still not too much sad
But I feel bad
Like I was wrong
Like I failed
Like I failed you
Like I disappointed you
I feel bad inside
It feels like a really big fall
Like I should’ve done much better
Like I could’ve done much more
And it seems like a really big fall
I’m sorry Love
I’m not prepared to let you go!
Explain to me:
Why didn’t you call me or text me?
Or send me an email?
I wouldn’t do you harm!
You know it is true.
So why on Earth you didn’t???
Could’ve done that.
Now I feel guilty…
And I’m in a deep disbelief
Deep, deep disbelief
I feel empty
...
Wake up...
Please wake up
It was all only a dream
I feel like all my doing
Towards you
Were in vain
It feels like pain.
Please wake up…
I feel like my head will explode…
Please wake up…
I don’t want to believe
Not in this dreadful news
...
Please wake up…
Please…
Now I feel sorrow and regret
Regret!
I failed myself!
I feel regret
I feel regret
Like I failed you
I feel regret…
Please wake up!
I can’t forgive myself!
(I was so close! So close…)
Please wake up!
Please wake up!
Please…
(written up to 23.01.2018)
|
It surely can’t be!!!
It just can’t
Say it isn’t so!
It must not be!
Where are you now?
How will I now reach you?
Who to ask?
I’m exchanging the oxygen.
Deeply…
I don’t believe in it right now
I can’t
Sorry Love!
It must be a mistake
Must be!
The big lie
I won’t believe
I can’t
…
I don’t want you to die!
I don’t want you to die!
I don’t want you to die!
Live, live, live, live, live…!
Don’t wave goodbye!
Live!
Can’t you hear me!?
I don’t want you to die!
Live, live, live, live, live!
Be happy, be healthy…
Stay with us…
Live…
(written up to 23.1.2018)
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Never try to charm me
If you’d ever
Try to harm me
(Not even in your dreams.
Not even in my dreams.)
...
Sitting side by side we were.
My left arm(pit) was safely
Around your neck
So you can imagine
Where your head was
Or...
Your head was on my left
Shoulder
It almost doesn’t matter
Which exact way it was
Because…
In my dream
(Or should I say, now)
There are only fragments
Bits and pieces
Of this and that
All kinds of stuff
(Often hard to explain or relate)
But still…
There are some
Fragments of You.
…
As an dream explanation
Some would say:
You miss me
Some would say:
I miss you
And I would say…
“Be careful in Life
I wish You luck
I like to cuddle You
And protect You
And I Love You
(Obviously, strangely)”
...
As far as the two of us...
Are concerned
It might be my only purpose
And meaning…
Just to be here
For You
…
I’m not a Merlin
But I will...do
I will...try
What I can
For You
Never forget that
Never forget…
(written up to 12.1.2018)
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