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Našao sam jedan tekst koji sam davno napisao o golubovima. I još je na engleskom, jer ruku na srce, sve bolje zvuči na engleskom. A pošto nemam inspiracije, samo ću ga copy/pasteti...
1. Everybody can eat pigeon
I mean, come on, when you are just above ameba in the food chain, that's so lame that it hurts. Literally every living creature can eat a pigeon, and they are not so hard to catch either. Mr. Hawk just wakes up one morning and asks his little baby hawks: Ok kids, daddy is little busy today, got some shit to do, so you're gonna need to eat some fast food. I know that you can't fly and you look like you are going to die any second now, but you can easily catch about 15-20 pigeons in 20 minutes....
2. Pigeon can't eat anybody
Ok, that is not completely truth, because they can eat worms and earthworms, but that is not such accomplishment taking that these "animals" have "brains" made of few nerves, that can barely process three functions: dig-eat-shit! Good job pigeon, that's some wicked pray!!! Today pigeons mainly eat bread. Bread is not even a LIVE plant, it is made out of dead plants grained into a mass. And they don't even make that bread, stupid animals, they force us to make bread FOR them, and throw it on the street so they can eat it. On the other hand, the question is, who is stupid here: pigeons or people who feed them?
3. Pigeons can't fly very well
So let's see, you are a bird right? And one of the main bird abilities is flying (except ostriges and kiwis and other even more stupid birds)! So how come those pigeons look like retarded, drunk babies trying to run while flying? It's not complicated: you flap your wings and fly, you don't flap your wings and crash into pavement or innocent people!
4. Pigeons are suicidal
I don't know how to explain a pigeon landing in the middle of a highway during tourist season, except suicide attempt. That fucker just lands there, looks around for few seconds, thinking: Ok, this is a good place to build a nest! and baaaaaaam!!! A small golden mighty Atos (not mine) sends that little stupid fuck to gods pigeon choir...
5. Pigeons bite the hand that feeds them
We concluded that there are some people, who shall remain unnamed, who actually feed pigeons. Look, it's so fun to throw bread all around me, and then wait until thousands of flying scavengers land and eat it! Get a job, grandpa!!!
So,the pigeon eats that bread, and few hours later the fucker shits it on some poor guy/girl or someone's mighty Atos. I mean, that is just rude! It's like those homeless people come into a public kitchen, eat free food, and then few hours later just climb on cook's car and shit on the windshield...It's just not OK!
6. Pigeons can't talk and when they walk their heads move in a unnatural way
It's like they're always saying: Guuughghguuu and Gughghguuuu... The first thing is probably: Food!, and the second is: Let's shit on cars! Other birds sing beautiful songs that sometimes make me cry, and some even talk human language, but not pigeons. Nooo, they just Guuuughghhguuuu...
And did you ever watch them walk? OMG, their head moving in every possible direction, looking like it's about to fall of any moment, like some American redneck going to election to vote for George Bush. My theory is that pigeons (like rednecks) don't have brain, so their head just floats like a balloon. It's a good theory...
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