pravu ste nasli pitat :)

13.01.2011.

- Wasn't all that just because you were too annoying to them?
- How do you mean, too annoying?
- Well, after all, you did pretend to be who you are not while around them. And did stupid things and laughed all the time although nothing was funny. And being too loud was one of the things you did, too.
- Hm. Maybe you are right.
- Are you doing it even now?
- How do you mean, even now? What am I supposed to do now except to do nothing? *giggles*
- When you're around him, you fool.
- I'm not.
- Oh, really?
- I guess so, yeah. Although it definitely seems as if I am. Sometimes. Sometimes not. At least to me.
- Well, are you or are you not?
- I think I started again. I shouldn't, I know, but it's sometimes stronger than me. I can't control that feelings, things, whatever. It's just like, I want to show him I'm here and that I want some serious business with him. "Hey you, turn around, notice me!" - sometimes I think everything I do screams that. But it shouldn't.
- Of course it shouldn't. And I guess the thing you've been constantly asking yourself is: "why?"
- Yup. And that's what annoys me. If only I could know what is it that makes me do such things. All I want is to act normally around him. What I am doing, in most cases. But sometimes I blabber uncontrollably and it makes me contemplate upon it after a while. Why, how, if and stuff like that.
- So, what's the answer to your question?
- There is none. I'm still contemplating. I wonder if he thinks that, too. Moreover, what I really want to know is if this is only a game to him, or he's just being too friendly because I'm a great *friend* or maybe, in some awkward case, he really wants something... more.
- What would you want?
- Oh, please, take a guess.
- ...
- I thought so, too. Anyway. Maybe that kiss wasn't real.
- Maybe.
- Maybe...
- Why do you even think about it? Wouldn't it be much easier for you and for everyone else not to pay that much attention to all those little things that are happening around you and just take them for granted? Maybe there really was no background, maybe he did it because he wanted to do it? Maybe he danced with you just because he wanted to dance with *you*?
- Well, then, he could have danced with that other girl, why me?
- And so he did. Maybe he lives for the moment *in* the moment, not like somebody else who lives in the past and makes up a story that has, in most cases, nothing to do with the subject itself.
- So what do you suggest me to do?
- Nothing. Sit and wait.
- But...
- No buts! You've hurt yourself loads of times before and I won't let that happen again. Not with him. He might as well stay one of your best friends, as long as you don't screw everything up.
- Damn, you're right. Thanks. I love you.
- I love you too, you fool. Relax now, everything will be just fine.

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