lera-777 diary

petak, 30.10.2009.

Working

Workin' like a madwoman on the thesis. I suspect 5-6 pages left to go. Can I finish it today?

srijeda, 28.10.2009.

New House!

For those of you who missed the locked post....Steve and I are now homeowners! We are very excited to move!Here's a link to some more pictures of the inside. Somehow, I forgot to take pictures of the first floor bathroom. Oops!New HouseBTW....If you know someone who is looking for a quality summer sublease...let me know ;-)

subota, 24.10.2009.

Funeral

I come to find out that the visitation isn't until friday at 4 and the funeral is on saturday, so I could have taught classes this week and not come up until friday. Having said that, I think it's better this way. Lord knows I won't be much good the next few days and Mom really needs the support right now. I'm glad to be able to do this while I still can. For most of us in the family, even going up to her house tonight didn't make things seem real. We all realized that Grandpa Krutzfeldt died 37 years ago today and that's significance but, things felt weird because I just saw her 3 weeks ago when she brought Mom to albert lea so we could go see Ava. She looked like Aunt Nita. When I look at the pictures from Sunday, she didn't look like Aunt Nita. At one point tonight, Aunt Nita's friend Marlys walked up to give me a hug. I was looking down at some pictures standing next to Uncle Arnie. For a split second, I *knew* it was Aunt Nita standing next to me. That was nearly too much to bear. I am very worried about how grandma will react when she sees her lying there. All she can really say about the situation is, "it should have been me." That does not bode well for the next few days. As cold as it sounds, and it's really not, I am relieved that this is not an 'immediate' family funeral where we have to make all the decisions. Doing that for Dad was the worst thing ever. I don't wish it on anyone, especially my family, but I certainly don't wish it for myself...especially this soon.Aunt Brenda and I spent a good chunk of the night looking through old photos, trying to help pick some for her board at the funeral. There were a lot of them I've never seen, and some I have. I realized, I look just like my Mother's-Father's-Mother, my great-grandma I think. Eerily so. The family resemblences in our family are very strong. I guess it must be those good German genes or something. Loking at the pictures reminded me, Aunt Nita was so beautiful. She and Uncle Arnie got married in 1960 and they looked like models. All those women I see in the magazines I use for research, they were my Aunt and Uncle.I'll cut off the rambling for now as it's really time for sleep. One last thing...Getting together with everyone tonight is exactly what she would have wanted. She thrived on family get-togethers and family meals. I am sure she and Dad were watching over us...smiling.

Funeral

I come to find out that the visitation isn't until friday at 4 and the funeral is on saturday, so I could have taught classes this week and not come up until friday. Having said that, I think it's better this way. Lord knows I won't be much good the next few days and Mom really needs the support right now. I'm glad to be able to do this while I still can. For most of us in the family, even going up to her house tonight didn't make things seem real. We all realized that Grandpa Krutzfeldt died 37 years ago today and that's significance but, things felt weird because I just saw her 3 weeks ago when she brought Mom to albert lea so we could go see Ava. She looked like Aunt Nita. When I look at the pictures from Sunday, she didn't look like Aunt Nita. At one point tonight, Aunt Nita's friend Marlys walked up to give me a hug. I was looking down at some pictures standing next to Uncle Arnie. For a split second, I *knew* it was Aunt Nita standing next to me. That was nearly too much to bear. I am very worried about how grandma will react when she sees her lying there. All she can really say about the situation is, "it should have been me." That does not bode well for the next few days. As cold as it sounds, and it's really not, I am relieved that this is not an 'immediate' family funeral where we have to make all the decisions. Doing that for Dad was the worst thing ever. I don't wish it on anyone, especially my family, but I certainly don't wish it for myself...especially this soon.Aunt Brenda and I spent a good chunk of the night looking through old photos, trying to help pick some for her board at the funeral. There were a lot of them I've never seen, and some I have. I realized, I look just like my Mother's-Father's-Mother, my great-grandma I think. Eerily so. The family resemblences in our family are very strong. I guess it must be those good German genes or something. Loking at the pictures reminded me, Aunt Nita was so beautiful. She and Uncle Arnie got married in 1960 and they looked like models. All those women I see in the magazines I use for research, they were my Aunt and Uncle.I'll cut off the rambling for now as it's really time for sleep. One last thing...Getting together with everyone tonight is exactly what she would have wanted. She thrived on family get-togethers and family meals. I am sure she and Dad were watching over us...smiling.

subota, 17.10.2009.

Distraction

One of the few things that could distract me from all the awfulness is on television tonight...Johnny Cash at San Quentin. The original film. Awesome.

četvrtak, 15.10.2009.

F'ing A

So, apparently just as one thinks that one has one's life in order, the universe is obligated to give that person a sucker punch to the stomach.Today started out as one of the best days I've had in a long time. Went in for lecture, found out wednesday lecture is cancelled. Went to Panera, wrote 2 pages, had Panera lunch, wrote 2 more pages and worked on some formatting stuff for the thesis. Came home, watched a little Dr. Phil, and went for a walk at 3:45. I *just* got home. Around 4:30 I got a call from my sister. My Aunt is dying. She was admitted to the hospital in Sioux Falls this morning with congestive heart failure. She refused a breathing tube this morning until my uncle talked her into taking one. She is apparently telling everyone that she's ready to die and they even called to get my 86 year old grandma up there to see her, because they don't think she'll last the night. All I can say right now is...WTF? It took me about an hour to walk about 1/2 mile. I stopped and watched the river for a while. I am absolutely at a loss for words...thoughts...anything really. You know, I expected to get a call like this about my 99 year old grandma...not my 64 year old aunt.

utorak, 13.10.2009.

Update

Not too much to report. I think that I'm finally feeling better...again. A slew of allergy/cold related issues later, I've been taking the allergy meds more regularly and things seem better. In happy news land...baby Ava got to come home from the hospital yesterday! She's at 5 lbs 5 oz now and eating like a little piglet :-) Apparently big brother still thinks she's very interesting and pretty cool. Whenever anyone comes over to visit, he feels the need to show her off.
I guess it runs in the family ;-)

nedjelja, 11.10.2009.

General Malaise

I have a all-over feeling of ickiness today. Stayed up way too late the last two nights, so I'm tired. Stomach is queasy. Throat is scratchy. Nose is runny. I have not been able to concentrate all day, so pretty much all I've done since I gave the lecture this morning is sleep...and buy shoes for the wedding I'm in this summer. That's it. As the thesis deadline grows nearer, every time I get sick, I just about go into full-blown panic attack mode. I'm going to go have some tea, read a little, and watch GH at 9. Hopefully that makes me feel better.

petak, 09.10.2009.

Functional Illiteracy???

So I just read the exam of one of my students that had 40-ish words in one sentance, with no few than 3 different topics. He even spelled school "skhool."The spell-check generation, I swear has become functionally illiterate.

utorak, 06.10.2009.

Grr!

Students...read your damned syllabus. When it says your assignment is due on February 16 by 5 pm, you can't turn it in on February 17!!!!/rant

petak, 02.10.2009.

An amusing entry, I'm sure

Well, it's 2:19 in the a of m when I'm starting. In case you were curious, that is EXCEPTIONALLY later than I usually stay up. I went out with some friends from the department tonight and had a wonderful time. A wonderful time and some rum. Ok, a lot of rum.We went to see some ISU hockey. Cyclones lost, but it was still a good time. Then we went to WAS to have some drinks. Some drinks turned into 5 double Captain and Cokes in about 3.5-4 hours. Mix well, and you get a happy (and pretty drunk) Kristy that's up at 2 am.I adore my friends in the department. I really think that this semester would be unbearable without them. I spent the day (the entire 8-5 workday) in the library, all except 2 hours that I was teaching. And that was just today. Enough reading and writing will make anyone a bit loopy. I have had some serious doubts whether or not I will finish the thesis this semester. I have been stressed out to the max with family and school stuff. It was SO nice to let loose, and get plastered. (ok, not plastered, but definately as drunk as I have been in more than a year or so.) Normally, I am not one who indulges in drinking to relax, but after this week it was great. I ran into one student who said something like, "It's my fucking TA!" but other than that, the outing was student free. Without getting too sentimental, I will painfully miss the History Dept. guys next year if we end up moving. Them, and Dr. C, would be the best reasons to stay. I guess we shall see...Now that I've made it through 3-ish paragraphs, virtually mistake free...I won't press my luck anymore.Time to sleep off the rum. :-)

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