Ainulindale

When your pain becomes too great
And when your shame makes you hide
When they’ve left you all alone
And when there’s noone by your side

Bury yourself within your mind
Build yourself your own reality
Where your happiness never ends
Mind no sense and mind no sanity

This space inside is all that’s yours
This is where you are always free
This is where you can really smile
Things you see no one else can see

People say the words of love
People say the words you like
And when your pleasure reaches top
You realize that they lied
This is when you feel the fury
This is when it’s hard to stop

Chorus (fry)
And you hate
And you hate
And you hate them all
And you plot
And you plot
And you plot their fall

In this stage of extreme loathe
In this stage of burning blood
Your mind is trapped within a cage
A cage that scorches all you have
And its bars are freezing cold
And it’s so hard to flip the page

Chorus

I thought it was going great
I thought we were strong
I thought I was yours
I thought wrong

Chorus
Ha?
What are you saying?
Stop
This childish playing
Please
Don’t make me feel sad
Don’t
Or else I will go mad

I never saw it coming
I never thought I’d grieve
I never saw it coming
I never thought you’d leave

Chorus

I remember what you said
I remember every single sound
I remember disbelief
I remember my heart strongly pound

Chorus

I dare not speak what's on my mind
For I know you’ll disagree
I never could make you believe
From this point on I’ll let it be

Chorus
I am wrong
That is right
Leave it there
I will not fight

I’m tired of justifying what I say
Tired of changing me
I am wrong and you are right
I could never make you see

Chorus X2

Take it all, take it right now
I am yours

Chorus

I make amends for what I've done
And all I’ve done I now regret
Those things undone hurt the most
This heavy path my faith has set

Bridge1
What is done was done by me
And noone else is there to blame
To carry on and live again
I now must try to erase the shame

Chorus
Their demons do not pose no threat
Go through the dark
Go through the night
Do all the things that can be done
And do them all
Without fright

What’s done is done and can’t be changed
I did as much as I can do
Excuses now don’t mean a thing
The rest is now all up to you

Bridge2
What is done was done by me
And noone else is there to blame
What was done and wasn’t done
Now I know it’s all the same

Chorus

Vacant spaces all around
As far as my eyes dare to see
Inside my head a disturbing sound
Says that this is how it’s gonna be
This is where I’m forever bound
The doors have closed in front of me

And the more I wanted them to stay
The more they all would run away

Chorus
Making peace with what is left
Solitude inside has shown
Nothing’s left and all is gone
Bound to be forever alone

Faith has sealed and all is clear
I was never meant to fly
As I slowly start to sear
My lonely heart begins to cry
All that shines and all that’s dear
Has gone and now it’s time to die

And the more I wanted you to stay
The more, my love, you ran away

Chorus

I see the sweetest girl, alone
Her face so pale and suffused by tears
Her dreams have fallen and now are gone
All that’s left are endless fears

Chorus
But darling don’t you see
You’re alone but you are free
And sweetie don’t you cry
Give this life another try

And I know that what is here today
May be gone tomorrow
And all that you are left with
Is pain and endless sorrow

Chorus

I feel the pain you feel
I know that it’s too much
Our hearts we need to seal
And they’ll be safe as such

Chorus

Her soul burns among the dead
So cute she looks into my eyes
As I crown her little, dark head

For too long my heart has bled
There’s nothing left inside it now
Except those deadly words she said

Chorus1
And I fall
In love so sweet
And I crawl
I’m at her feet
And I cry
When love ends
Then I die
Without amends

May I feel your hand in mine
May I love you ‘till time stops
With your hair may I entwine

May I kiss your cheek so red
May I listen to your heart
Oh,grant me this before I’m dead

Chorus2
Because I fall
In love so sweet
And I crawl
I’m at your feet
And I cry
Because you lie
To you my love
I say goodbye

Chorus1
Chorus2

I'm guessing you all know just how destructive feelings can be. Today, most things are connected to feelings. From wars to a simple life on an individual, it's all entwined with feelings. Feelings like love, hate, pain, pleasure and such. We are all consumed and troubled by our feelings. It's because we are the only ones who can feel them. We cannot feel other peoples emotions. We can see them and realize them but we will never know the true heaviness of what it's like. Depression...the modern illness. My friend once said - "It's stupid, you no longer say that you are sad, you say that you are depressed". How exactly do you separate sadness from depression? I have felt it in my own way...and I try to detach one from another. Sadness is when you are down and you know you are down and you can do something about it. You can divert your attention to something else. While depression...is a clear example of helplessness. You feel sad and there is nothing you can do about it. There is nothing else you can think about. You can try, but it's so hard.
I am able to control those powerful feelings like hate and anger. They have always been under my control. However, the feeling of love is something I could never tame. I have come to a realization that love, as an emotion, does not really exist. It's a set of emotions like linking, needing and satisfying the need. Therefore I realize that even though I can control some strong feelings, those basic ones elude me. Liking...it's a basic emotion. How come it's so hard to control. The worst part of it all is that with love, in my case, comes depression. A feeling of helplessness. I cannot control anything in love. I cannot control myself or the one I love. And this helplessness totally changes me...I become so...stupid, when seen from someone else's perspective. The only thing I'm sure of is that love persists in me, during this period of idiot-ism. I cause pain...to myself and others. And I cannot help it.
I always said that love is the most important thing in my life and that I need it the most. But why does it make me so stupid. I'm still alone...alone in this world. I can't help myself...my friends can't help me...noone can help me...except...someone that feels the way I do...someone who will understand and someone who will want to help...What are the chances of finding someone like that? One in 6 billion? I'm helpless...and still alone...

I hold in my hands
The pieces of my heart
I mend them with my tears

I hold in my hands
My glorious death
Slowly my end nears

Chorus
I was compelled to choose
To live or love to feel
I was compelled to lose
In darkness I now kneel

In this moment
Which is my last
I mourn my shattered heart

In this moment
Which will not last
I fear again to start

Chorus

In this cruel world
You are
What others want you to be
And you can’t see
They lie
When they say that you are free

All that you do
Can be
The last thing that you’ll do
For they will come
And say
That what you did was wrong


Chorus
NO!
I’ll defy you ‘till the end
Facing you with all your lies
I’ll squeeze until you bend
And every act you bring
I’ll find a way to fend

Don’t tell me to stop
I won’t
I’ll only press further on
And this will resume
Until
One of us is gone

If only you could see
What lies
Beyond of what I do
You can try again
And fail
To define what is true

Chorus X2

It's funny, but lately things have been going pretty good for me. As you may already know the new LP song is out. It's called "What I've done". Here are the lyrics:

In this farewell
There’s no blood, there’s no alibi
'Cause I've drawn regret
From the truth of a thousand lies
So let mercy come
And wash away

Chorus
What I've done
I'll face myself
to cross out what I've become
Erase myself
And let go of what I've done

Put to rest
What you thought of me
While I clean this slate
With the hands of uncertainty
So let mercy come
And wash away

Chorus

For what I've done
I'll start again
And whatever thing may come
Today this ends
I'm forgiving what I've done

Chorus

What I've done
Forgiving what I've done

Here are some photos of the video:




Aren't they just perfect. They address global problems in the video, such as global warming and hunger. Chester has done something like that before. He was in a commercial. LP makes me feel so...tranced. There are a lot of people that don't know how to appreciate Chester's voice. I have only one thing to say to them - Try it! Go ahead and try to sing out just one of his songs. Each one is hard in it's own way and each one sounds divine. The only song I can sing is My December and I've been practicing for over three years. His vocal vibrato and fry are divine. Perfected and unbelievable.
Other than this...there is something else new in my life...but I dare not speak about it until I see how it works out.