The Ink Room

From start to finish I wonder why
The cuts look good in this messed up line
The blood that trickles down my arm
People all stare at the girl who self-harms:-

"The emo" they call me
I turn to my name
They act out slicing their wrists
I hang my head in shame
I can't help my feelings
Of being alone
I hide myself for the day
Just longing to go home
I sprawl on my bed
With my razor in hand
And take myself away
To a much better land
I stare in the mirror
And let myself cry
Looking forward to the day
That I finally die

If you don't know me,
don't judge me.
For all you see us flesh.
What you don't see are my feelings.
The only way to see my feelings is to look into my eyes.
As deep as you can see is where it only begins.
My eyes say nothing about me.
Nothing about my feelings,
because when you see me you see some stranger.
You see someone you are very frightened of probably.
Only that's not whatI see.
What you don't see,
what you don't understand,
is what I see when I look in the mirror every day.
What I see is anger.
I see power and pain.
Pain from all the judgment I get everyday.
My eyes say nothing about my pain.
My eyes say nothing about my anger.
My eyes say nothing about me.
The only way to see me,
the pain,
the power,
the anger,
is to upset me.
That's when you see everything.
That's when you see who I really am.
So if you don't know me,
don't judge me.
Because you may be wrong.

I lost my way,far away from home.
My shoes I made from the gold I never owned.
Still I walked like the righteous man,alone ?
All in shoes with no soles.
The bottom of my feet just blood and bones
And where have I gone ?
To some carnival of shame
Where fires burn away every letter of your name.
I look back and I can see are golden footprints
Upon the ruinotin of every thing that ever
Spoke of me.
My diamonds in hand within pill bottle they rattle.
Marching away towards nothing that matters.
I shine and I glitter
All the way to Hell
Where my end will be bitter
Under the spell.

Just when I thought hello meant nothing
You came along and made it everything with your smile
Just when time was lost to me and left me wondering
You came along and showed me the light of day for a while

You are the mystery that keeps me focused in
You take....my breath...away
So many questions that you hold the answers to within
Can you get me over...yesterday

And when I close my eyes, I see your face in my dreams
A million colors reflected inside your eyes
And when I think that nothing can ever be what it seems
You showed me my reality can be what I fanaticize

Hold you sacred, hold you tight
You are my sheltering guiding light
Hold me now love, hold me tight
Forever in a night, forever starts tonight

Just when I thought hello meant soon goodbye
You came along to wake me up from those fears
Just when I thought fate would leave me by the wayside
You came along to kiss away my lonely tears

You are the angel of the morning light
You are the reason that I even still believe
You are the answer that makes everything alright
You are all I could ever want or need

And in the silence of the morning I will only search for your face
The distant echoes of my past fade forever away in your embrace
And so I let my hopes rest within the sacred mysteries of your taste
And fall forever to you, forever in your resonating grace

Forever starts tonight

I walk down the broken road,
Trying to make it in this cruel world,
I have ran away from the problems before,
And trying to forgeti in the proces,
Never getting to far.

I always kept saying:
'Keep going',
Everything was going good for me,
Until I chose the wrong path,
I lost everything that meant something to me.

And why did I do that,
An easier,less painfull path,
I wish I had everything back
But I don't,
So I keep moving forward.

Hoping everything comes back,
But I realize,
That's not going to happen,
So I keep moving on,
Forgetting the impossible.

I feel wet snow
on my cold, dry skin
As the darkness falls
to settle in.
The stars shine bright
to lead my way
Through tall, snow covered trees
which bend and sway.
I know not where I came from
or where I will go,
while strange noises crunch
the new fallen snow.
I have no fears
of this strange, dark place
where sounds surround me
without a face.
The night goes on peacefully
dark and slow,
with all beauty shining
as a glistening glow.
I have been here before
though I know not when.
As sure as I know
I will be here again.
A place that is quiet,
safe comforting me,
while the icy brook flows
'round a sweet smelling tree.
I feel wet snow
on my warm, soft skin.
It is this dark place
that I want to be in.
Then I open my eyes
and it all floats away,
As bright warm sun shines
on a brand new day.
Window panes covered
in sparkling frost,
reminds me of a beautiful thing
I have lost.
My heart tells me in hours
this day will be past,
when the night
time comes
to me slowly at last.
I am back in the snow
so pristine and clean.
Sadness shows me I've found
this was only a dream

Death

Death is a tragic thing
For most.
It takes your life,
And makes loves ones sad.
When you die young
It's even more tragic.
Death is bad, yes.
But for some
If their life is bad enough
They will commit suicide
That makes it all even worse
For their family.
Death is fascinanting
But bad
Or
Death can be fascinanting
And good.


Evil

To me
Evil it's very interesting
All the dark colors
Just add to the mystery
A couple evil things
I don't like
I use to hate evil
And love the good
Now, Ilike them both
Evil can be in any form
A person,
The weather,
Nature,
An so many other forms
Everyone hasevil in them.
Even if you haven't dicovered it
It's there.
So, you can be good,
Or
You can join the darkness
The winning team.

You crucified my lust and held my heart within your hands.
Dying within agony and pain..
You pull me out of my worthless shell
Deify and save me from Hell.
Reach for me before the burning flames consume us
Fading away in disgust
This mortal day puts to flight
before our love.
I lie within you upheld by your caress.
Captivating the internal soul that long lives in me
Your serene eyes, lock my gaze in a memorizing glance
As angels and demons reach to join us,lost in our dance
Imagining a world of nothing that can be despised
The truth always hidden and locked inside
Waiting to explode forth bringing the dark hours to an end
Passion drowning reason as love brings forth a new day.

Fingers so freezing cold,
Laughter stirs the room.
Wanting forever to grow old,
Hoping forever starts soon.

Lips meet lips,
Kisses shared.
Hands toch hips,
Wondering who cared.

Tongues softly gliding,
Tears gently being cried.
People always hiding,
Im the one who tried.

Perfection meets lonely,
Tears begun to freely fall.
Wrists begging show me,
Aftery every scream and call.

Bloody wrists cover a day,
The laughing and the crying.
Asking please do not stay,
Everyone isn't trying.
No point trying when you're gonna fall,
No reason to point out what you need to say.
No memory to remember after all,
Yet pain lasts forever and a day,

Hurt me...I dare you.

Each person is their own devil
Their life their own personal hell
They walk in a shadow
Created by their gloom
Each tear that they shed
Fuels the fire of despair deep in their soul
The blank space in which their heart should be
Is nothing more than a hole

How do you escape the sadness
When it is created by you?
How do you run from the devil
When the devil is no more than you?