The Ink Room

Dancing alone again
Again the rain falling
Only the scent of you remains
To dance with me

Nobody showed me how to return the love you give to me
Mom never holds me
Dad loves a stranger more than me

I never wanted to ever bring you down
All that I need are some simple loving words

You touched my body once
It burns me still softly
Never forgets never again will be
I cry

Out of my head and I don't know whatI found
Over and over I feel it break me down

On the sidewalk of the city
Are my screams just a whisper
Busy people going nowhere
See me soak in the rain
No compassion nothing matters
My resistance is waiting
Like a flower in the basement
Waiting for a lonely death

Out of my head and I don't know what I found
Over and over I feel it break me down

The clouds are long past me
But their shadows remain
The seance of dark is enveloping
seeming inhumane.

What is immortality?
I say it's just a word.
I lost my faith,it's killing me
But,it is so absured

That I am slowly losing
The battle I've already fought
That I'm slowly losing
Everything I've got.

The only thing that i have left
seems to be my skin
And the thing I can't escape from
Is the position that I'm in.

I've managed to escape my family
I've managed to escape my very best friend
I've ran away from everything,
But it's not yet to end.

I know that I will not kill myself,
But still I am afraid
Of my insecurities in life
Of the decisions I have made.

I just want it to be done
I want this to be gone
I want the suffering to stop
I just want to go on.

The truth is I've been lying
To you,and even me,
I show you an innocent girl,
A girl who is happy.

But the truth is that I hate myself
And everything around.
I don't think my pain will stop,
Till I'm six feet under ground.

I think that I'm used to
the daggers in my heart.
The happiness will never flow
The love won't ever start

I won't accept your help,
I will adapt to the pain...

...The clouds are coming back now...and it's begun to rain...

Four o’clock in the morning
Afraid to open my eyes
Another day of grief,
A day of fear.
All alone I feel.
I try to justify all the pain,
All of this guilt before my eyes.
Another day of confusion,
A day of wondering.
Is it ever just going to go away?
All this pain that I feel,
And all this anger, is it going to stay?
Ten o’clock in the evening,
Afraid of the nightmares.
Again my breathing stops.
All I can do is stare into the night.
What is it that causes this feeling?
Another night of crying,
A night of hiding,
Alone once again.
My heart feels empty,
And I can’t cry another tear.
Another day wasted on insecurity,
A day of wonder.
Is this ever going to end?