I had to wake up and write this down in the middle of the night. Looking at it now... explains a lot. Apparently I do all my thinking while I'm asleep, which explains why I can't really bring myself to think when I'm awake. In the words of a coworker- "Thinking all the time is so tiring." So this is what I wrote at 4 in the morning:there are two sides of life- there is the true self of life, the majestic wholeness, and there is the thin veneer of conciousness, the membrane coverning the bulk of the thing, the skin of the beast. we see only the skin, we experience only the surface. all thought is merely light on the membrane and all the while life goes quietly on beneath.in a rushing torrent of words we drown it, we trivialize expreience, we corrode the being of self...i was thinking...about the self and free will- it's only when you stop trying to be something you're not and give in to your nature that you are free to do what you want and create, live, love. only by bowing to your nature, your inner destiny, can you attain freedom. there is, therefore, no free will. all will is constrained by the self. any choice that is made is made within the bounds of the self.
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