At Kat's urging

nedjelja, 26.07.2009.

At Kat's urging, I went to fencing last night for the first time in about 8 or 9 months. Quite an experience. Of course, there were a lot of new faces, and since I'm inherently anti-social I just kind of smiled at all the new people. For their part, they were very nice to me, especially since I must have seemed very out of place. Nine months without fencing, and Pashby decides to see if still anywhere near as fast as I was. I'm not. Needless to say that I'm incrediby sore today, but it's a good kind of sore. It hurts to move, especially my legs, but it feels good in a weird sort of sadistic way. Pain, they tell me, is just weakness leaving the body.And as for military aspirations- I feel that there are obligations that people have to fulfill. Some fulfill these obligations by living a good life and having family and getting a job and working and shit. I honestly don't think I can do that. And I don't want to look back in 20 years and think "i really wish i had done something useful"... I'd rather actually do something and leave myself no doubts. But, on the other hand, I'm very conflicted. I don't want to join the military. It's never been a passion of mine to have someone yell at me all the time or restrict my personal freedom. But i do feel obligated, and therein lies the problem. It's just something I have to work out, but I'm not ruling out the possibility.If only fencing was actually a viable and important career. But I think any hope of that died out sometime in the 18th century. Oh well. The future is never set, and I have a short attention span anyway. I'm sure in 6 months from now I'll read this and just laugh.These people round here wear beaten down eyesSunk in smoke dried facesThey're so resigned to what their fate isBut not us (no never), no not us (no never)We are far too young and clever

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nedjelja, 26.07.2009.

At Kat's urging

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