tachisis diary

srijeda, 22.07.2009.

Anatman

Thoughts come quickly, but thankfully go quicker. All of my attempts to write them down fail. It's really a shame, too. Most of theem were really clever. I guess that's the problem. I spend so much effort trying to look deep and meaninngful and clever that I've become pretentious and insincere.My disingenuousness (is that a word?) sort of pisses me off. When I'm stumped trying to be objective, I quote- or more precisely, guess- what others would say. I know my friends hate it, but it's how i cope. So I'm doing that right now. I'll spare you the details.It boils down to this- the more i search for "me", the less I find. Everything about me is the product of something else. Most of it could be cast aside, but I carry on out of nostalga and the need for some semblance of direction or continuity in life. I fear that one day I'll find that there is no "me". Anatman.

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