dreaming of reality

utorak, 11.12.2007.

Dreams and what-not

Dreams... sometimes my whole life seems to be revolving around them... they've always had a certain kind of influence over me. A kind of control. Sometimes I would even feel like a puppet trapped inside a world that exists between dreams. So real they were! I've often danced with them, a dance of music... it is hard to explain, very hard. It was like when you are listening to a melody that entraps you in a whirlpool. You can almost feel yourself being pulled into it.

Yet sometimes they were so heart moving I could not stand being in them. They've often produced a kind of heart-ache in me , known only to secret lovers. For that was what they were to me. Lovers. I do not understand their meaning, nor am I sure I would want to know it. Such a thing is for men of wisdom and knowledge. I am contempt with just being let into their world. A world where everything becomes.

I remember I had once been a boy, much as like I am now, closed up in my little nut-shell of a universe. Then there came a girl, at the time I could not see nor guess from where, and stood beside me. We were leaning with our backs up against a wooden wall... I should say it was awkward being around here, for that was what it felt like, I had felt so inferior. I could not describe her now even if I wanted to. The only thing I remember about her was the aura surrounding her. She was glowing with kindness, with love. She came closer, one step at a time. Then she leaned her head against my shoulder. We had stayed like that for a while, I am not sure how long. We said nothing, we did not have to.

Suddenly! she grabbed my hand and began running across the valley. At the time, I could not let go even if I had wanted to. Not that I did. I was hypnotized by her. We had been running for a while now, when I realized she was holding my hand no longer. I was suddenly afraid she would run away from me. I screamed. I wished I could run faster, and almost at the same instant, I had looked down, my feet were no longer feet. They were black paws. I had began running on all fours. It did not scare me for I thought, if must be, I should rather be a wolf and run after her all my life than be alone... leaning against a wall. And so it was, a black wolf running after a girl he could never catch up to. But hold on, she was no longer a girl herself! She had become a dragon, deep blue. I felt at that moment that I shall never catch on, for she flew away.

I cannot remember when, or how, or why. But the next thing I knew, she was holding me, no longer a dragon, and me no longer a wolf. I had been crying. I cannot tell you why, for I don't remember. Nor is it yours to know at any rate. I finally felt I had broken the barrier, the shell, the armour I've set up, so long ago. But it was not me who broke it, it was her. The girl from my dreams. A figure that shall come into other dreams of mine as well, for I have dreamed of her more than once.

Unfortunately, as it becomes of dreams, this one came to an end. But she was different from others, she did not fade away. She had stayed with me, for all these days, months... years. I can still remember what I had felt in that dream, what I've felt with her. What she has done for me. I had only wished I could bring her to my world, but at an instance, I threw that wish away. It would be to painful to see her here. Where she would be imprisoned.

That was only one of my dearest dreams. I've only a few to remember her by, but we seem to know each other a lot longer... who can say how time flows inside dreams! For all we know, a dream can last centuries in the few hours we have with it in our own world.

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Jako mi je žao što mi je toliko dugo trebalo da se opet pojavim. Nadam se samo da vam neće biti pre teško čitati ovaj post.

Zašto je post na engleskom a ne na hrvatskom? Iskreno, ne znam. Došlo me. Opet, nadam se da vam nije pre velika muka čitati ga.

Ako bude zahtijeva, pokušat ću ga prevesti, samo se bojim da će onda izgubiti neke bitne dijelove...

Usput, ako ste pronicljivi i ako znate engleski, možda će te primijetiti da sam dosta pomiješao vremena... ne idu mi ona baš lol, tak da, eto.. ispričavam se i za to.

Do čitanja!

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