Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
If you want creative workers, give them enough time to play.
Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.
The summer night is like a perfection of thought.
Every moment of one's existence one is growing into more or retreating into less.
Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule - and both commonly succeed, and are right.
Is love supposed to last throughout all time, or is it like trains changing at random stops. If I loved her, how could I leave her? If I felt that way then, how come I don't feel anything now?
To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and never stop fighting.
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny ...'
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.
Deeds, not words shall speak me.
Like anyone else, there are days I feel beautiful and days I don't, and when I don't, I do something about it.
Cheese - milk's leap toward immortality.
Everything of importance has been said before by somebody who did not discover it.
What's another word for Thesaurus?
Never rely on the glory of the morning nor the smiles of your mother-in-law.
Resolve to edge in a little reading every day, if it is but a single sentence. If you gain fifteen minutes a day, it will make itself felt at the end of the year.
Keep cool and you command everybody.
Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.
My philosophy is that not only are you responsible for your life, but doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.
All that is human must retrograde if it does not advance.
There is no end to the adventures that we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open.
By prizing heartfulness above faultlessness, we may reap more from our effort because we're more likely to be changed by it.
You can't have a light without a dark to stick it in.
My friends are my estate.
Think of yourself as an incandescent power, illuminated and perhaps forever talked to by God and his messengers.
A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it: it would be hell on earth.
Every moment of one's existence one is growing into more or retreating into less.
Sorrow was like the wind. It came in gusts.
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
There is no nonsense so errant that it cannot be made the creed of the vast majority by adequate governmental action.
Nothing changes your opinion of a friend so surely as success - yours or his.
Life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all.
Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster. Your life will never be the same again.
Where we have strong emotions, we're liable to fool ourselves.
Have patience awhile; slanders are not long-lived. Truth is the child of time; erelong she shall appear to vindicate thee.
You have to have funny faces and words, you can't just have words. It is a powerful thing, and I think that's why it's hard for people to imagine that women can do that, be that powerful.
For most men life is a search for the proper manila envelope in which to get themselves filed.
There is surely a piece of divinity in us, something that was before the elements, and owes no homage unto the sun.
Self-importance is our greatest enemy. Think about it - what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellowmen. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone.
Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today.
Make a decision, even if it's wrong.
Experience is a good teacher, but she send in terrific bills.
My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
For visions come not to polluted eyes.
He who will not reason is a bigot; he who cannot is a fool; and he who dares not is a slave.
Exercise ferments the humors, casts them into their proper channels, throws off redundancies, and helps nature in those secret distributions, without which the body cannot subsist in its vigor, nor the soul act with cheerfulness.
Sometime they'll give a war and nobody will come.
Starting with getting run down by a drunk burning his way down Valencia -- that were infinitely more likely and immediate than terrorists.
It's never just a game when you're winning.
Intimacy is being seen and known as the person you truly are.
The charity that hastens to proclaim its good deeds, ceases to be charity, and is only pride and ostentation.
I believe that every now and then it is important to laugh at ourselves and take a lighter approach to our life conditions.
In real life, unlike in Shakespeare, the sweetness of the rose depends upon the name it bears. Things are not only what they are. They are, in very important respects, what they seem to be.
This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.
Never read a book through merely because you have begun it.
Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt of, not swallowed.
The only time to buy these is on a day with no 'y' in it.
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.
No man remains quite what he was when he recognizes himself.
I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER.
The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
If your parents never had children, chances are you won't, either.
When I came back to Dublin I was courtmartialed in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.
The 'Net is a waste of time, and that's exactly what's right about it.
'Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today.' Under the influence of this pestilent morality, I am forever letting tomorrow's work slop backwards into today's, and doing painfully and nervously today what I could do quickly and easily tomorrow.
I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.
The summer night is like a perfection of thought.
Have patience awhile; slanders are not long-lived. Truth is the child of time; erelong she shall appear to vindicate thee.
You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans.
I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.
The knowledge of the world is only to be acquired in the world, and not in a closet.
If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.
The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
The lesson which life repeats and constantly enforces is 'look under foot.' You are always nearer the divine and the true sources of your power than you think.
More bodies were roughly shoved in beside me.
There is a great deal of difference between an eager man who wants to read a book and the tired man who wants a book to read.
America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.
How to Raise your I.Q. by Eating Gifted Children
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
Let not thy will roar, when thy power can but whisper.
Looks are part of business. A businessman should never stand out more than his customers. His mannerisms, his clothes, everything about him... Moderation is the key.
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
An idea is salvation by imagination.
When a thing ceases to be a subject of controversy, it ceases to be a subject of interest.
Nothing is said that has not been said before.
...happiness gives us the energy which is the basis of health.
The roses, the lovely notes, the dining and dancing are all welcome and splendid. But when the Godiva is gone, the gift of real love is having someone who'll go the distance with you. Someone who, when the wedding day limo breaks down, is willing to share a seat on the bus.
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
There is nothing more demoralizing than a small but adequate income.
If you think taking care of yourself is selfish, change your mind. If you don't, you're simply ducking your responsibilities.
Real love is a permanently self-enlarging experience.
Anyone who has gumption knows what it is, and anyone who hasn't can never know what it is. So there is no need of defining it.
When someone does something good, applaud! You will make two people happy.
Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
Our deeds determine us, as much as we determine our deeds.
There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.
Anger at lies lasts forever. Anger at truth can't last.
When we lose one we love, our bitterest tears are called forth by the memory of hours when we loved not enough.
The better part of valor is discretion, in the which better part I have saved my life.
The habit of giving only enhances the desire to give.
I don't generally feel anything until noon; then it's time for my nap.
I've never quite believed that one chance is all I get.
Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
I don't own a cell phone or a pager. I just hang around everyone I know, all the time. If someone wants to get a hold of me, they just say 'Mitch,' and I say 'what?' and turn my head slightly.
Someone's boring me. I think it's me.
The next time a car appeared down Market Street, I stepped right out into the road, waving my arms over my head, shouting.
Don't mace him!" I shouted over the din. "You'll get us all too.
There is surely a piece of divinity in us, something that was before the elements, and owes no homage unto the sun.
The more things a man is ashamed of, the more respectable he is.
The moment we begin to fear the opinions of others and hesitate to tell the truth that is in us, and from motives of policy are silent when we should speak, the divine floods of light and life no longer flow into our souls.
Silent gratitude isn't much use to anyone.
Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt of, not swallowed.
While we have the gift of life, it seems to me that only tragedy is to allow part of us to die - whether it is our spirit, our creativity, or our glorious uniqueness.
It's a dangerous business going out your front door.
The aim of life is self-development. To realize one's nature perfectly - that is what each of us is here for.
I don't like composers who think. It gets in the way of their plagiarism.
I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.
Go through your phone book, call people and ask them to drive you to the airport. The ones who will drive you are your true friends. The rest aren't bad people; they're just acquaintances.
Be more prompt to go to a friend in adversity than in prosperity.
O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet.
Reveal not every secret you have to a friend, for how can you tell but that friend may hereafter become an enemy. And bring not all mischief you are able to upon an enemy, for he may one day become your friend.
Life is consciousness.
We are inclined to believe those whom we do not know because they have never deceived us.
We should be eternally vigilant against attempts to check the expression of opinions that we loathe.
Always seek out the seed of triumph in every adversity.
Vanessa didn't like it, but I figured a cop wasn't going to stop for a kid waving his hat in the street, not that day. They just might stop if they saw Darryl bleeding there, though. I argued briefly with her and Darryl settled it by lurching to his feet and dragging himself down toward Market Street.
Hollywood is a place where they place you under contract instead of under observation.
Human beings have an inalienable right to invent themselves.
The whole dream of democracy is to raise the proletarian to the level of stupidity attained by the bourgeois.
It really doesn't matter if the person who hurt you deserves to be forgiven. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. You have things to do and you want to move on.
It's wonderful what we can do if we're always doing.
In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
We thought, because we had power, we had wisdom.
I have enjoyed greatly the second blooming... suddenly you find - at the age of 50, say - that a whole new life has opened before you.
When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
It felt like they used a baton or something -- it was harder than anyone had ever hit me in the head before.
What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog.
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist.
I am not an adventurer by choice but by fate.
All human situations have their inconveniences. We feel those of the present but neither see nor feel those of the future; and hence we often make troublesome changes without amendment, and frequently for the worse.
Paradise is exactly like where you are right now... only much, much better.
You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.
Depend not on another, but lean instead on thyself...True happiness is born of self-reliance.
If the only prayer you ever say in your whole life is "thank you," that would suffice.
How we treasure (and admire) the people who acknowledge us!
Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times.
Arguments are to be avoided; they are always vulgar and often convincing.
I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
Walking is man's best medicine.
You can only cure retail but you can prevent .
Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.
We should every night call ourselves to an account; What infirmity have I mastered today? What passions opposed? What temptation resisted? What virtue acquired? Our vices will abort of themselves if they be brought every day to the shrift.
Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs.
I believe that every now and then it is important to laugh at ourselves and take a lighter approach to our life conditions.
Go often to the house of thy friend; for weeds soon choke up the unused path.
Before we set our hearts too much upon anything, let us examine how happy those are who already possess it.
Neither did the cop car that went past, nor the firetruck, nor the next three cop-cars.
There are several good protections against temptations, but the surest is cowardice.
Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire public relations officers.
The art of war is simple enough. Find out where your enemy is. Get at him as soon as you can. Strike him as hard as you can, and keep moving on.
Resolve to edge in a little reading every day, if it is but a single sentence. If you gain fifteen minutes a day, it will make itself felt at the end of the year.
Depend not on another, but lean instead on thyself...True happiness is born of self-reliance.
As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so life well used brings happy death.
Somebody has to do something, and it's just incredibly pathetic that it has to be us.
Dance is the hidden language of the soul.
Neither did the cop car that went past, nor the firetruck, nor the next three cop-cars.
A joke's a very serious thing.
I don't generally feel anything until noon; then it's time for my nap.
We are what we repeatedly do.
Therefore search and see if there is not some place where you may invest your humanity.
Nothing can be so amusingly arrogant as a young man who has just discovered an old idea and thinks it is his own.
Look at all the sentences which seem true and question them.
Inspiration does exist, but it must find you working.
Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.
Feeling grateful to or appreciative of someone or something in your life actually attracts more of the things that you appreciate and value into your life.
I stand in awe of my body.
Nothing is as certain as that the vices of leisure are gotten rid of by being busy.
What children take from us, they give?We become people who feel more deeply, question more deeply, hurt more deeply, and love more deeply.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
Men are equal; it is not birth but virtue that makes the difference.
More movement, and the sense of bodies being shackled in alongside of me.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
There is a tragic flaw in our precious Constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.
A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it: it would be hell on earth.
Hollywood is a place where they place you under contract instead of under observation.
Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.
Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you.
Walking is man's best medicine.
Be careful that victories do not carry the seed of future defeats.
My friend is one... who take me for what I am.
We succeed only as we identify in life, or in war, or in anything else, a single overriding objective, and make all other considerations bend to that one objective.
Only some people get what they want. Those are the people who show up to get it.
When we lose one we love, our bitterest tears are called forth by the memory of hours when we loved not enough.
If you refuse to be made straight when you are green, you will not be made straight when you are dry.
Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.
I'm glad I didn't have to fight in any war. I'm glad I didn't have to pick up a gun. I'm glad I didn't get killed or kill somebody. I hope my kids enjoy the same lack of manhood.
What makes the engine go? Desire, desire, desire.
It's wonderful what we can do if we're always doing.
The problem is never how to get new, innovative thoughts into your mind, but how to get old ones out. Every mind is a building filled with archaic furniture. Clean out a corner of your mind and creativity will instantly fill it.
Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.
Misquotations are the only quotations that are never misquoted.
Nothing contributes so much to tranquilizing the mind as a steady purpose - a point on which the soul may fix its intellectual eye.
You know what's interesting about Washington? It's the kind of place where second-guessing has become second nature.
A wise man can see more from the bottom of a well than a fool can from a mountain top .
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
The car rocked back and forth and tipped uphill.
The strongest possible piece of advice I would give any young woman is: Don't screw around, and don't smoke.
Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important.
Posterity is as likely to be wrong as anyone else.
If you would thoroughly know anything, teach it to others.
Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn whatever state I am in, therin to be content
Our patience will achieve more than our force.
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.
Every moment of one's existence one is growing into more or retreating into less.
Why the hell would terrorists kidnap a bunch of high school students?
There are plenty of good five-cent cigars in the country. The trouble is they cost a quarter. What this country needs is a good five-cent nickel.
The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.
I opened my mouth, then shut it, then, very slowly, I held my hands up in front of me.
Laughter is supposed to be the best medicine, however, it should never be at the expense of someone?s feelings or ignoring truth.
Lack of money is no obstacle. Lack of an idea is an obstacle.
Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected.
Truly great madness cannot be achieved without significant intelligence.
Having a holiday weekend without a family member felt like putting on a sweater that had an extra arm.
Always seek out the seed of triumph in every adversity.
Innovation has nothing to do with how many R&D dollars you have. When Apple came up with the Mac, IBM was spending at least 100 times more on R&D. It's not about money. It's about the people you have, how you're led, and how much you get it.
Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire public relations officers.
Go through your phone book, call people and ask them to drive you to the airport. The ones who will drive you are your true friends. The rest aren't bad people; they're just acquaintances.
Sack over my head and cinched it tight around my windpipe.
A doctor saves lives -- It's up to people to create lives that are worth saving.
You've achieved success in your field when you don't know whether what you're doing is work or play.
Enjoy your own life without comparing it with that of another.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
Terrorists killed a lot fewer people than bathroom falls and accidental electrocutions.
I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.
Work saves us from three great evils: boredom, vice and need.
I don't generally feel anything until noon; then it's time for my nap.
An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought.
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
His priority did not seem to be to teach them what he knew, but rather to impress upon them that nothing, not even... knowledge, was foolproof.
The freedom of all is essential to my freedom.
It really doesn't matter if the person who hurt you deserves to be forgiven. Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. You have things to do and you want to move on.
Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.
You need only reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence.
We have really everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language.
My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.
Nothing is as simple as we hope it will be.
To achieve great things we must live as though we were never going to die.
You can have it all. You just can't have it all at once.
A billion here, a billion there, pretty soon it adds up to real money.
I have never been especially impressed by the heroics of people who are convinced they are about to change the world. I am more awed by those who struggle to make one small difference after another.
You must not think me necessarily foolish because I am facetious, nor will I consider you necessarily wise because you are grave.
A billion here, a billion there, pretty soon it adds up to real money.
The only thing that saves us from the bureaucracy is inefficiency. An efficient bureaucracy is the greatest threat to liberty.
Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
Feet, why do I need them if I have wings to fly?
Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
Our lives teach us who we are.
An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is an adventure wrongly considered.
When you make a world tolerable for yourself, you make a world tolerable for others.
Have you ever observed that we pay much more attention to a wise passage when it is quoted than when we read it in the original author?
Americans are benevolently ignorant about Canada, while Canadians are malevolently well informed about the United States.
Darryl wasn't in good shape -- he was white-faced and panting.
Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it.
Without the capacity to provide its own information, the mind drifts into randomness.
I wrote myself a check for ten million dollars for acting services rendered and dated it Thanksgiving 1995. I put it in my wallet and it deteriorated. And then, just before Thanksgiving 1995, I found out I was going to make ten million dollars for Dumb & Dumber. I put that check in the casket with my father because it was our dream together.
The art of war is simple enough. Find out where your enemy is. Get at him as soon as you can. Strike him as hard as you can, and keep moving on.
You never know till you try to reach them how accessible men are; but you must approach each man by the right door.
I have come to the conclusion that politics are too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.
I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours.
The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success. Talent is only a starting point in this business. You've got to keep on working that talent. Someday I'll reach for it and it won't be there.
Treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
What if this weren't a hypothetical question?
I like an escalator because an escalator can never break, it can only become stairs. There would never be an escalator temporaly out of order sign, only an escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience.
Never rely on the glory of the morning nor the smiles of your mother-in-law.
If your parents never had children, chances are you won't, either.
All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others.
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
History is indeed little more than the register of the crimes, follies and misfortunes of mankind.
Inspiration does exist, but it must find you working.
Looks are part of business. A businessman should never stand out more than his customers. His mannerisms, his clothes, everything about him... Moderation is the key.
The summer night is like a perfection of thought.
You can't separate peace from freedom because no one can be at peace unless he has his freedom.
I believe that every now and then it is important to laugh at ourselves and take a lighter approach to our life conditions.
Everybody likes to go their own way--to choose their own time and manner of devotion.
Be careful that victories do not carry the seed of future defeats.
Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
There's always one who loves and one who lets himself be loved.
How we treasure (and admire) the people who acknowledge us!
Get away from the crowd when you can. Keep yourself to yourself, if only for a few hours daily.
The perfect bureaucrat everywhere is the man who manages to make no decisions and escape all responsibility.
Learning to live in the present moment is part of the path of joy.
In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
For the most part, fear is nothing but an illusion. When you share it with someone else, it tends to disappear.
All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors.
The most beautiful adventures are not those we go to seek.
The trick is to make sure you don't die waiting for prosperity to come.
I'd never really believed in terrorists before.
Art is science made clear.
We learn and grow and are transformed not so much by what we do but by why and how we do it.
Misquotations are the only quotations that are never misquoted.
The engine died and then the doors swung open.
Only some people get what they want. Those are the people who show up to get it.
Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster. Your life will never be the same again.
What other dungeon is so dark as one's own heart! What jailer so inexorable as one's self!
If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor.
Go often to the house of thy friend; for weeds soon choke up the unused path.
The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.
Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.
The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.
If you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else.
Whenever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship.
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
By the time I'd grown up, I naturally supposed that I'd be grown up.
Laughing is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one spot.
Do not believe that he who seeks to comfort you lives untroubled among the simple and quiet words that sometimes do you good. His life has much difficulty... Were it otherwise he would never have been able to find those words.
It's a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear.
If you're trying to take a roomful of people by surprise, it's a lot easier to hit your targets if you don't yell going through the door.
The crux... is that the vast majority of the mass of the universe seems to be missing.
By the time I'd grown up, I naturally supposed that I'd be grown up.
I think people want their illusions and writers are mostly illusion. When you read their words, you read a flattened, incomplete version of the writer.
Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich.
The world tolerates conceit from those who are successful, but not from anybody else.
A minute's success pays the failure of years.
What can you say about a society that says that God is dead and Elvis is alive?
There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
The car skidded to a stop just in front of me, and I jumped back and lost my balance and ended up on the road.
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
The mellow sweetness of pumpkin pie off a prison spoon is something you will never forget.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it.
I stand in awe of my body.
People fail forward to success.
Most advances in science come when a person for one reason or another is forced to change fields.
You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.
There are plenty of good five-cent cigars in the country. The trouble is they cost a quarter. What this country needs is a good five-cent nickel.
You can only cure retail but you can prevent .
Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.
It's a dangerous business going out your front door.
Bacchus hath drowned more men than Neptune.
If you would be a real seeker after truth, it is necessary that at least once in your life you doubt, as far as possible, all things.
Keep on going and the chances are you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it. I have never heard of anyone stumbling on something sitting down.
The most important thing she'd learned over the years was that there was no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.
Better by far you should forget and smile than you should remember and be sad.
The pain of making the necessary sacrifices always hurts more than you think it's going to. I know. It sucks. That being said, doing something seriously creative is one of the most amazing experiences one can have, in this or any other lifetime. If you can pull it off, it's worth it. Even if you don't end up pulling it off, you'll learn many incredible, magical, valuable things. It's NOT doing it when you know you full well you HAD the opportunity- that hurts FAR more than any failure.
We learn something every day, and lots of times it's that what we learned the day before was wrong.
By the time I'd grown up, I naturally supposed that I'd be grown up.
There is an alchemy in sorrow. It can be transmuted into wisdom, which, if it does not bring joy, can yet bring happiness.
The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them.
The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it.
Challenge is a dragon with a gift in its mouth?Tame the dragon and the gift is yours.
It was enough to make a body ashamed of the human race.
Intimacy is what makes a marriage, not a ceremony, not a piece of paper from the state.
Whoso would be a man must be a nonconformist.
The average person thinks he isn't.
A mind troubled by doubt cannot focus on the course to victory.
Is there life before death?
Everything of importance has been said before by somebody who did not discover it.
There are a terrible lot of lies going around the world, and the worst of it is half of them are true.
Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.
Lack of money is no obstacle. Lack of an idea is an obstacle.
Human beings have an inalienable right to invent themselves.
Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you.
Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing.
The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it.
A tactical retreat is not a bad response to a surprise assault, you know. First you survive. Then you choose your own ground. Then you counterattack.
A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.
There are several good protections against temptations, but the surest is cowardice.
All the world's a cage.
True friends are those who really know you but love you anyway.
This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.
Never let the demands of tomorrow interfere with the pleasures and excitement of today.
The faceless, eyeless armed man above me kept his gun very level.
O, it is excellent to have a giant's strength; but it is tyrannous to use it like a giant.
The function of science fiction is not always to predict the future but sometimes to prevent it.
Bear in mind that you should conduct yourself in life as at a feast.
Be thou the first true merit to befriend, his praise is lost who stays till all commend.
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
Life is consciousness.
O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet.
The undertaking of a new action brings new strength.
Laughing is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one spot.
As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so life well used brings happy death.
Whatever you do, do it to the purpose; do it thoroughly, not superficially. Go to the bottom of things. Any thing half done, or half known, is in my mind, neither done nor known at all. Nay, worse, for it often misleads.
The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
Intimacy is what makes a marriage, not a ceremony, not a piece of paper from the state.
Things are only impossible until they're not.
I heard Jolu respond, then felt the thump he was dealt, too.
Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards.
Whatever you do, do it to the purpose; do it thoroughly, not superficially. Go to the bottom of things. Any thing half done, or half known, is in my mind, neither done nor known at all. Nay, worse, for it often misleads.
Feet, why do I need them if I have wings to fly?
I'm moving, but don't worry! Someone once told me we're all on the same planet, so I'll be okay!
It's never just a game when you're winning.
Summer afternoon - Summer afternoon... the two most beautiful words in the English language.
Set all things in their own peculiar place, and know that order is the greatest grace.
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
I'm moving, but don't worry! Someone once told me we're all on the same planet, so I'll be okay!
You must not think me necessarily foolish because I am facetious, nor will I consider you necessarily wise because you are grave.
A few seconds later, I tripped over a steel staircase, bashing my shins.
Why the hell would terrorists kidnap a bunch of high school students?
I define comfort as self-acceptance. When we finally learn that self-care begins and ends with ourselves, we no longer demand sustenance and happiness from others.
The discovery of a new dish does more for human happiness than the discovery of a new star.
The habit of giving only enhances the desire to give.
What other dungeon is so dark as one's own heart! What jailer so inexorable as one's self!
The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said.
Terrorists killed a lot fewer people than bathroom falls and accidental electrocutions.
The cloning of humans is on most of the lists of things to worry about from Science, along with behaviour control, genetic engineering, transplanted heads, computer poetry and the unrestrained growth of plastic flowers.
The two symbols of the Republican Party: an elephant, and a big fat white guy who is threatened by change.
Results! Why, man, I have gotten a lot of results. I know several thousand things that won't work.
My head rang like a gong.
You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing.
You never know till you try to reach them how accessible men are; but you must approach each man by the right door.
Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster. Your life will never be the same again.
We cannot deny the facts of nature, but we should certainly try to improve on them.
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
Things won are done; joy's soul lies in the doing.
To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.
Listen. Do not have an opinion while you listen because frankly, your opinion doesn?t hold much water outside of Your Universe. Just listen. Listen until their brain has been twisted like a dripping towel and what they have to say is all over the floor.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
Science is nothing but developed perception, interpreted intent, common sense rounded out and minutely articulated.
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
Never fear the want of business. A man who qualifies himself well for his calling, never fails of employment.
Few people think more than two or three times a year; I have made an international reputation for myself by thinking once or twice a week.
I shouted, and earned a hard thump on my head for my trouble.
Up ahead, I saw someone, a middle-aged lady in a hippie dress, falter and fall.
More bodies were roughly shoved in beside me.
Editor: a person employed by a newspaper, whose business it is to separate the wheat from the chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed.
I am not sincere, even when I say I am not.
I cried out and my own voice was muffled by the hood.
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
It is not enough to aim; you must hit.
If you scatter thorns, don't go barefoot.
Our deeds determine us, as much as we determine our deeds.
Truly great madness cannot be achieved without significant intelligence.
Better shun the bait, than struggle in the snare.
It felt like they used a baton or something -- it was harder than anyone had ever hit me in the head before.
For visions come not to polluted eyes.
History is more or less bunk.
Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster. Your life will never be the same again.
The people who are regarded as moral luminaries are those who forego ordinary pleasures themselves and find compensation in interfering with the pleasures of others.
Typos are very important to all written form. It gives the reader something to look for so they aren't distracted by the total lack of content in your writing.
Our deeds determine us, as much as we determine our deeds.
Learn the art of patience. Apply discipline to your thoughts when they become anxious over the outcome of a goal. Impatience breeds anxiety, fear, discouragement and failure. Patience creates confidence, decisiveness, and a rational outlook, which eventually leads to success.
I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.
There is still a difference between something and nothing, but it is purely geometrical and there is nothing behind the geometry.
I must create a system, or be enslaved by another man's.
To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and never stop fighting.
None are so busy as the fool and knave.
I'd learned my lesson.
After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
The strongest possible piece of advice I would give any young woman is: Don't screw around, and don't smoke.
I was sick of cars driving right past me.
We thought, because we had power, we had wisdom.
The knowledge of the world is only to be acquired in the world, and not in a closet.
I don't mind what language an opera is sung in so long as it is a language I don't understand.
His priority did not seem to be to teach them what he knew, but rather to impress upon them that nothing, not even... knowledge, was foolproof.
Try to put your happiness before anyone else's, because you may never have done so in your entire life, if you really think about it, if you are really honest with yourself.
A doctor saves lives -- It's up to people to create lives that are worth saving.
Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it.
To be willing to die for an idea is to set a rather high price on conjecture.
I don't like composers who think. It gets in the way of their plagiarism.
Nothing is as certain as that the vices of leisure are gotten rid of by being busy.
Walking is the best possible exercise. Habituate yourself to walk very far.
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
There ain't no free lunches in this country. And don't go spending your whole life commiserating that you got raw deals. You've got to say, 'I think that if I keep working at this and want it bad enough I can have it.'
Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule - and both commonly succeed, and are right.
I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it.
It's a dangerous business going out your front door.
Do something every day that you don't want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.
You cannot be mad at somebody who makes you laugh - it's as simple as that.
Joy is prayer - Joy is strength - Joy is love - Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls.
Silent gratitude isn't much use to anyone.
Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half the time.
Nothing contributes so much to tranquilizing the mind as a steady purpose - a point on which the soul may fix its intellectual eye.
One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.
If we fall, we don't need self-recrimination or blame or anger - we need a reawakening of our intention and a willingness to recommit, to be whole-hearted once again.
Sooner or later, we've got to work at it, no matter how many other careers we've had or wanted.
Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you.
By prizing heartfulness above faultlessness, we may reap more from our effort because we're more likely to be changed by it.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them.
We learn something every day, and lots of times it's that what we learned the day before was wrong.
A billion here, a billion there, pretty soon it adds up to real money.
Depend not on fortune, but on conduct.
Never be a cynic, even a gentle one. Never help out a sneer, even at the devil.
Time is on the side of the oppressed today, it's against the oppressor. Truth is on the side of the oppressed today, it's against the oppressor. You don't need anything else.
All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others.
When someone does something good, applaud! You will make two people happy.
Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist.
Keep your broken arm inside your sleeve.
The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it.
Oh, I don't blame Congress. If I had $600 billion at my disposal, I'd be irresponsible, too.
To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.
The cloning of humans is on most of the lists of things to worry about from Science, along with behaviour control, genetic engineering, transplanted heads, computer poetry and the unrestrained growth of plastic flowers.
We thought, because we had power, we had wisdom.
People fail forward to success.
So little time and so little to do.
Where facts are few, experts are many.
If you aren't fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm.
I'm glad I didn't have to fight in any war. I'm glad I didn't have to pick up a gun. I'm glad I didn't get killed or kill somebody. I hope my kids enjoy the same lack of manhood.
It is impossible to walk rapidly and be unhappy.
If you think taking care of yourself is selfish, change your mind. If you don't, you're simply ducking your responsibilities.
Listen. Do not have an opinion while you listen because frankly, your opinion doesn?t hold much water outside of Your Universe. Just listen. Listen until their brain has been twisted like a dripping towel and what they have to say is all over the floor.
No matter what I do, no matter how predictable I try to make my life, it will not be any more predictable than the rest of the world. Which is chaotic.
That man is the richest whose pleasures are the cheapest.
The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence whatever that it is not utterly absurd; indeed in view of the silliness of the majority of mankind, a widespread belief is more likely to be foolish than sensible.
In the name of God, stop a moment, cease your work, look around you.
I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER.
It is nobler to declare oneself wrong than to insist on being right - especially when one is right.
I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
Ask a deeply religious Christian if he?d rather live next to a bearded Muslim that may or may not be plotting a terror attack, or an atheist that may or may not show him how to set up a wireless network in his house. On the scale of prejudice, atheists don?t seem so bad lately.
Sometimes the cure for restlessness is rest.
O, it is excellent to have a giant's strength; but it is tyrannous to use it like a giant.
A writer is a person for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people.
Forget injuries, never forget kindnesses.
O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet.
A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.
Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.
How we remember, what we remember and why we remember form the most personal map of our individuality.
If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself, tell yourself that you are not poet enough to call forth its riches.
The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all of your time.
I've gone into hundreds of fortune-teller's parlors, and have been told thousands of things, but nobody ever told me I was a policewoman getting ready to arrest her.
Life is consciousness.
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
A neurosis is a secret that you don't know you are keeping.
There is still a difference between something and nothing, but it is purely geometrical and there is nothing behind the geometry.
Hollywood is a place where they place you under contract instead of under observation.
We should every night call ourselves to an account; What infirmity have I mastered today? What passions opposed? What temptation resisted? What virtue acquired? Our vices will abort of themselves if they be brought every day to the shrift.
There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way.
If you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else.
The happiest is the person who suffers the least pain; the most miserable who enjoys the least pleasure.
Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke.
Life is consciousness.
It is impossible to walk rapidly and be unhappy.
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
Never read a book through merely because you have begun it.
Preserving health by too severe a rule is a worrisome malady.
Vegetarianism is harmless enough, though it is apt to fill a man with wind and self-righteousness.
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.
Reveal not every secret you have to a friend, for how can you tell but that friend may hereafter become an enemy. And bring not all mischief you are able to upon an enemy, for he may one day become your friend.
All great truths begin as blasphemies.
Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic.
What makes the engine go? Desire, desire, desire.
Life is consciousness.
I'm glad I didn't have to fight in any war. I'm glad I didn't have to pick up a gun. I'm glad I didn't get killed or kill somebody. I hope my kids enjoy the same lack of manhood.
You have no control over what the other guy does. You only have control over what you do.
Speak properly, and in as few words as you can, but always plainly; for the end of speech is not ostentation, but to be understood.
The better part of valor is discretion, in the which better part I have saved my life.
If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself, tell yourself that you are not poet enough to call forth its riches.
There is nothing more demoralizing than a small but adequate income.
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
I never vote for anyone; I always vote against.
Vigorous writing is concise.
I?m telling you, things are getting out of hand. Or maybe I?m discovering that things were never in my hands.
You can't have a light without a dark to stick it in.
Real love is a permanently self-enlarging experience.
How we remember, what we remember and why we remember form the most personal map of our individuality.
An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.
My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated but not signed.
When all is said and done, the weather and love are the two elements about which one can never be sure.
Never esteem anything as of advantage to you that will make you break your word or lose your self-respect.
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
Maybe they were terrorists!
The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.
What can you say about a society that says that God is dead and Elvis is alive?
O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet.
The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.
I've never quite believed that one chance is all I get.
The people I distrust most are those who want to improve our lives but have only one course of action.
I love my past. I love my present. I'm not ashamed of what I've had, and I'm not sad because I have it no longer.
It's a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear.
Bacchus hath drowned more men than Neptune.
Everybody knows if you are too careful you are so occupied in being careful that you are sure to stumble over something.
Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what's for lunch.
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
He who labors diligently need never despair; for all things are accomplished by diligence and labor.
There is still a difference between something and nothing, but it is purely geometrical and there is nothing behind the geometry.
Use what you have to run toward your best - that's how I now live my life.
The lesson which life repeats and constantly enforces is 'look under foot.' You are always nearer the divine and the true sources of your power than you think.
Hollywood is a place where they place you under contract instead of under observation.
Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it.
Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
You cannot be mad at somebody who makes you laugh - it's as simple as that.
Set all things in their own peculiar place, and know that order is the greatest grace.
Seize opportunity by the beard, for it is bald behind.
Do not be awe struck by other people and try to copy them. Nobody can be you as efficiently as you can.
Posterity is as likely to be wrong as anyone else.
I write because I'm afraid to say some things out loud.
I think people want their illusions and writers are mostly illusion. When you read their words, you read a flattened, incomplete version of the writer.
God creates men, but they choose each other.
Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.
There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.
The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.
Typos are very important to all written form. It gives the reader something to look for so they aren't distracted by the total lack of content in your writing.
There is nothing more dreadful than imagination without taste.
The dead might as well try to speak to the living as the old to the young.
Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it.
When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.
The real hero is always a hero by mistake; he dreams of being an honest coward like everybody else.
Everybody knows if you are too careful you are so occupied in being careful that you are sure to stumble over something.
The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one.
How to Raise your I.Q. by Eating Gifted Children
How we remember, what we remember and why we remember form the most personal map of our individuality.
Be sincere; be brief; be seated.
I've gone into hundreds of fortune-teller's parlors, and have been told thousands of things, but nobody ever told me I was a policewoman getting ready to arrest her.
Your parents, they give you your life, but then they try to give you their life.
College isn't the place to go for ideas.
Preserving health by too severe a rule is a worrisome malady.
The happiest is the person who suffers the least pain; the most miserable who enjoys the least pleasure.
Get away from the crowd when you can. Keep yourself to yourself, if only for a few hours daily.
I'd learned my lesson.
Nobody is ever met at the airport when beginning a new adventure. It's just not done.
We play the hands of cards life gives us. And the worst hands can make us the best players.
The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.
Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.
People fail forward to success.
Typos are very important to all written form. It gives the reader something to look for so they aren't distracted by the total lack of content in your writing.
Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.
Sorrow was like the wind. It came in gusts.
The mellow sweetness of pumpkin pie off a prison spoon is something you will never forget.
It is not enough to do good; one must do it the right way.
You've achieved success in your field when you don't know whether what you're doing is work or play.
Turbulence is life force. It is opportunity. Let's love turbulence and use it for change.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
The great art of giving consists in this: the gift should cost very little and yet be greatly coveted, so that it may be the more highly appreciated.
Van was screaming something and Jolu was shouting and I looked at them for a second and that was when someone put a coarse.
The freedom of all is essential to my freedom.
I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks.
Speak properly, and in as few words as you can, but always plainly; for the end of speech is not ostentation, but to be understood.
Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs.
The summer night is like a perfection of thought.
Money doesn't always bring happiness. People with ten million dollars are no happier than people with nine million dollars.
Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.
The strongest principle of growth lies in human choice.
I don't believe in intuition. When you get sudden flashes of perception, it is just the brain working faster than usual. But you've been getting ready to know it for a long time, and when it comes, you feel you've known it always.
Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort.
Few people think more than two or three times a year; I have made an international reputation for myself by thinking once or twice a week.
So little time and so little to do.
You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try.
We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of the pessimists.
If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.
Choose the life that is most useful, and habit will make it the most agreeable.
Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected.
Money doesn't always bring happiness. People with ten million dollars are no happier than people with nine million dollars.
The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success. Talent is only a starting point in this business. You've got to keep on working that talent. Someday I'll reach for it and it won't be there.
The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want.
No great improvements in the lot of mankind are possible until a great change takes place in the fundamental constitution of their modes of thought.
There is an evil tendency underlying all our technology - the tendency to do what is reasonable even when it isn't any good.
The knowledge of the world is only to be acquired in the world, and not in a closet.
Summer afternoon - Summer afternoon... the two most beautiful words in the English language.
Gratitude is the most exquisite form of courtesy.
In America, they want you to accomplish these great feats, to pull off these David Copperfield-type stunts. You want me to be great, but you don't ever want me to say I'm great?
People fail forward to success.
Challenge is a dragon with a gift in its mouth?Tame the dragon and the gift is yours.
The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.
I was in total darkness now and I strained my ears to hear what was going on with my friends.
Always be nice to those younger than you, because they are the ones who will be writing about you.
Feeling grateful to or appreciative of someone or something in your life actually attracts more of the things that you appreciate and value into your life.
There is an applause superior to that of the multitudes: one's own.
Refuse to be ill. Never tell people you are ill; never own it to yourself. Illness is one of those things which a man should resist on principle.
Lawyers spend a great deal of their time shoveling smoke.
When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.
How could you be a Great Man if history brought you no Great Events, or brought you to them at the wrong time, too young, too old?
Truly great madness cannot be achieved without significant intelligence.
Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious.
I would be the most content if my children grew up to be the kind of people who think decorating consists mostly of building enough bookshelves.
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
When we are unhurried and wise, we perceive that only great and worthy things have any permanent and absolute existence, that petty fears and petty pleasures are but the shadow of the reality.
We rocked to a stop still on a downslope.
Anything looked at closely becomes wonderful.
Good habits, which bring our lower passions and appetites under automatic control, leave our natures free to explore the larger experiences of life.
You create your opportunities by asking for them.
Late to bed and late to wake will keep you long on money and short on mistakes.
Meetings are indispensable when you don't want to do anything.
Life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all.
Better shun the bait, than struggle in the snare.
This world is given as the prize for the men in earnest; and that which is true of this world, is truer still of the world to come.
Over the years your bodies become walking autobiographies, telling friends and strangers alike of the minor and major stresses of your lives.
Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.
Do something. If it doesn't work, do something else. No idea is too crazy.
Genius is one per cent inspiration, ninety-nine per cent perspiration.
The car rocked back and forth and tipped uphill.
That you may retain your self-respect, it is better to displease the people by doing what you know is right, than to temporarily please them by doing what you know is wrong.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.
I kept talking. "Listen -- this is some kind of misunderstanding.
My eyes swam and watered and I literally couldn't breathe through the pain.
He had learned over the years that poor people did not feel so poor when allowed to give occasionally.
If you scatter thorns, don't go barefoot.
If you think you can win, you can win. Faith is necessary to victory.
There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way.
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
I don't own a cell phone or a pager. I just hang around everyone I know, all the time. If someone wants to get a hold of me, they just say 'Mitch,' and I say 'what?' and turn my head slightly.
Sometimes the cure for restlessness is rest.
The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said.
I never know how much of what I say is true.
Oh, I don't blame Congress. If I had $600 billion at my disposal, I'd be irresponsible, too.
There is no nonsense so errant that it cannot be made the creed of the vast majority by adequate governmental action.
Anger at lies lasts forever. Anger at truth can't last.
God creates men, but they choose each other.
Life is consciousness.
Lack of money is no obstacle. Lack of an idea is an obstacle.
We owe something to extravagance, for thrift and adventure seldom go hand in hand.
People were still cramming down the stairs, and more were squeezing past the turnstiles and down the escalators onto the platforms, but it was clear to me that this wasn't going to have a happy ending.
The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.
The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence whatever that it is not utterly absurd; indeed in view of the silliness of the majority of mankind, a widespread belief is more likely to be foolish than sensible.
My home is not a place, it is people.
If you scatter thorns, don't go barefoot.
I don't generally feel anything until noon; then it's time for my nap.
I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.
It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.
At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote.
I'm struck by the insidious, computer-driven tendency to take things out of the domain of muscular activity and put them into the domain of mental activity. The transfer is not paying off. Sure, muscles are unreliable, but they represent several million years of accumulated finesse.
You've achieved success in your field when you don't know whether what you're doing is work or play.
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
Work saves us from three great evils: boredom, vice and need.
Make a decision, even if it's wrong.
Money doesn't always bring happiness. People with ten million dollars are no happier than people with nine million dollars.
I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the last one left.
At a dinner party one should eat wisely but not too well, and talk well but not too wisely.
I heard Jolu respond, then felt the thump he was dealt, too.
If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.
What children take from us, they give?We become people who feel more deeply, question more deeply, hurt more deeply, and love more deeply.
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
In America, they want you to accomplish these great feats, to pull off these David Copperfield-type stunts. You want me to be great, but you don't ever want me to say I'm great?
The charity that hastens to proclaim its good deeds, ceases to be charity, and is only pride and ostentation.
The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
The art of dining well is no slight art, the pleasure not a slight pleasure.
He who is not very strong in memory should not meddle with lying.
Enjoy your own life without comparing it with that of another.
Everybody knows if you are too careful you are so occupied in being careful that you are sure to stumble over something.
Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt of, not swallowed.
We owe something to extravagance, for thrift and adventure seldom go hand in hand.
There are more tears shed over answered prayers than over unanswered prayers.
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
I never know how much of what I say is true.
Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important.
I shouted, and earned a hard thump on my head for my trouble.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
There is no such thing as an underestimate of average intelligence.
Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death.
In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
The people I distrust most are those who want to improve our lives but have only one course of action.
The happiest is the person who suffers the least pain; the most miserable who enjoys the least pleasure.
My philosophy is that not only are you responsible for your life, but doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.
Don't mace him!" I shouted over the din. "You'll get us all too.
A neurosis is a secret that you don't know you are keeping.
I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER.
Our patience will achieve more than our force.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
We think in generalities, but we live in detail.
How we treasure (and admire) the people who acknowledge us!
Few people think more than two or three times a year; I have made an international reputation for myself by thinking once or twice a week.
In the absences of a decent time machine, fiction remains the most sturdy vehicle for visiting other eras.
I heard Jolu respond, then felt the thump he was dealt, too.
He was one of those men who think that the world can be saved by writing a pamphlet.
If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read "President Can't Swim".
In the right light, at the right time, everything is extraordinary.
Someone dragged me by my arms out onto the road, then shoved me, stumbling, down a paved road.
If your parents never had children, chances are you won't, either.
It is not enough to do good; one must do it the right way.
At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote.
He who is not very strong in memory should not meddle with lying.
I'm moving, but don't worry! Someone once told me we're all on the same planet, so I'll be okay!
If you scatter thorns, don't go barefoot.
I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me they are wonderful things for other people to go on.
If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read "President Can't Swim".
Looks are part of business. A businessman should never stand out more than his customers. His mannerisms, his clothes, everything about him... Moderation is the key.
There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way.
Turbulence is life force. It is opportunity. Let's love turbulence and use it for change.
You should not live one way in private, another in public.
Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor.
At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote.
There were millions of ways that the world could kill me.
She screamed as she went down, and I saw her thrashing to get up, but she couldn't, the crowd's pressure was too strong.
The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.
I ran the wrong kind of business, but I did it with integrity.
In the absences of a decent time machine, fiction remains the most sturdy vehicle for visiting other eras.
Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.
To believe in God or in a guiding force because someone tells you to is the height of stupidity. We are given senses to receive our information within. With our own eyes we see, and with our own skin we feel. With our intelligence, it is intended that we understand. But each person must puzzle it out for himself or herself.
Do something. If it doesn't work, do something else. No idea is too crazy.
The scornful nostril and the high head gather not the odors that lie on the track of truth.
You create your opportunities by asking for them.
My home is not a place, it is people.
If you would thoroughly know anything, teach it to others.
I didn't even breathe.
The art of dining well is no slight art, the pleasure not a slight pleasure.
Plans are only good intentions unless they immediately degenerate into hard work.
Looks are part of business. A businessman should never stand out more than his customers. His mannerisms, his clothes, everything about him... Moderation is the key.
The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do.
The best way out is always through.
Silent gratitude isn't much use to anyone.
What some people mistake for the high cost of living is really the cost of high living.
Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
Nothing changes your opinion of a friend so surely as success - yours or his.
A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.
If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich.
We owe something to extravagance, for thrift and adventure seldom go hand in hand.
He who boasts of his ancestry is praising the deeds of another.
I was sick of cars driving right past me.
No one gossips about other people's secret virtues.
There are several good protections against temptations, but the surest is cowardice.
Hollywood is a place where they place you under contract instead of under observation.
I wanted to flag you down because my friend was bleeding. Someone stabbed him."
We should every night call ourselves to an account; What infirmity have I mastered today? What passions opposed? What temptation resisted? What virtue acquired? Our vices will abort of themselves if they be brought every day to the shrift.
By prizing heartfulness above faultlessness, we may reap more from our effort because we're more likely to be changed by it.
The strongest possible piece of advice I would give any young woman is: Don't screw around, and don't smoke.
Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated. You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps.
In the right light, at the right time, everything is extraordinary.
You need only claim the event of your life to make yourself yours. When you truly possess all you have been and done, which may take some time, you are fierce with reality.
A wise man can see more from the bottom of a well than a fool can from a mountain top .
Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
Good company and good discourse are the very sinews of virtue.
Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.
Van was screaming something and Jolu was shouting and I looked at them for a second and that was when someone put a coarse.
He who boasts of his ancestry is praising the deeds of another.
Cheerfulness, it would appear, is a matter which depends fully as much on the state of things within, as on the state of things without and around us.
Bear in mind that you should conduct yourself in life as at a feast.
He was one of those men who think that the world can be saved by writing a pamphlet.
If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich.
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
It is not enough to aim; you must hit.
Our deeds determine us, as much as we determine our deeds.
Is there life before death?
Speak properly, and in as few words as you can, but always plainly; for the end of speech is not ostentation, but to be understood.
My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
The engine died and then the doors swung open.
It is not always the same thing to be a good man and a good citizen.
If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.
Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.
You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.
Life is a great big canvas; throw all the paint on it you can.
Never despair; but if you do, work on in despair.
Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom.
Level with your child by being honest. Nobody spots a phony quicker than a child.
You know what's interesting about Washington? It's the kind of place where second-guessing has become second nature.
Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
The aim of life is self-development. To realize one's nature perfectly - that is what each of us is here for.
Never esteem anything as of advantage to you that will make you break your word or lose your self-respect.
You can go a long way with bad legs and a good head.
In real life, unlike in Shakespeare, the sweetness of the rose depends upon the name it bears. Things are not only what they are. They are, in very important respects, what they seem to be.
When someone does something good, applaud! You will make two people happy.
The dead might as well try to speak to the living as the old to the young.
No.
Everything of importance has been said before by somebody who did not discover it.
The more freedom we enjoy, the greater the responsibility we bear, toward others as well as ourselves.
Someone dragged me by my arms out onto the road, then shoved me, stumbling, down a paved road.
I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
The only time to buy these is on a day with no 'y' in it.
What other dungeon is so dark as one's own heart! What jailer so inexorable as one's self!
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.
The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all of your time.
The only thing that saves us from the bureaucracy is inefficiency. An efficient bureaucracy is the greatest threat to liberty.
At the mention of the word mace, the guy looked scared and kind of melted back, though the crowd kept him moving forward.
The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials.
Never fear the want of business. A man who qualifies himself well for his calling, never fails of employment.
Nothing can be so amusingly arrogant as a young man who has just discovered an old idea and thinks it is his own.
When you encounter difficulties and contradictions, do not try to break them, but bend them with gentleness and time.
Gratitude is the most exquisite form of courtesy.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
Go through your phone book, call people and ask them to drive you to the airport. The ones who will drive you are your true friends. The rest aren't bad people; they're just acquaintances.
More movement, and the sense of bodies being shackled in alongside of me.
No one gossips about other people's secret virtues.
I cannot believe that the inscrutable universe turns on an axis of suffering; surely the strange beauty of the world must somewhere rest on pure joy!
I believe in God, only I spell it Nature.
Hollywood is a place where they place you under contract instead of under observation.
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
I'm moving, but don't worry! Someone once told me we're all on the same planet, so I'll be okay!
The strongest possible piece of advice I would give any young woman is: Don't screw around, and don't smoke.
I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.
Vegetarianism is harmless enough, though it is apt to fill a man with wind and self-righteousness.
Never rely on the glory of the morning nor the smiles of your mother-in-law.
We bear the world and we make it... There was never a great man who had not a great mother - it is hardly an exaggeration.
Someone's boring me. I think it's me.
When everyone is against you, it means that you are absolutely wrong-- or absolutely right.
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
When we lose one we love, our bitterest tears are called forth by the memory of hours when we loved not enough.
Before we set our hearts too much upon anything, let us examine how happy those are who already possess it.
A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
Be careful that victories do not carry the seed of future defeats.
Nothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their environment and especially on their children than the unlived life of the parent.
Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic.
A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
Things won are done; joy's soul lies in the doing.
You must not think me necessarily foolish because I am facetious, nor will I consider you necessarily wise because you are grave.
Best wide-angle lens? Two steps backward. Look for the 'ah-ha'.
Our own physical body possesses a wisdom which we who inhabit the body lack.
We succeed only as we identify in life, or in war, or in anything else, a single overriding objective, and make all other considerations bend to that one objective.
The most beautiful adventures are not those we go to seek.
Every moment of one's existence one is growing into more or retreating into less.
I stumbled some, then a hand pushed my head down and I was inside the Hummer.
A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it: it would be hell on earth.
Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.
Love is that splendid triggering of human vitality... the supreme activity which nature affords anyone for going out of himself toward someone else.
The people I distrust most are those who want to improve our lives but have only one course of action.
I opened my mouth, then shut it, then, very slowly, I held my hands up in front of me.
Noble life demands a noble architecture for noble uses of noble men. Lack of culture means what it has always meant: ignoble civilization and therefore imminent downfall.
Over the years your bodies become walking autobiographies, telling friends and strangers alike of the minor and major stresses of your lives.
Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money.
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
Writing gives you the illusion of control, and then you realize it's just an illusion, that people are going to bring their own stuff into it.
Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self will require not just small adjustments in your way of living and thinking but a full-on metamorphosis.
The keenest sorrow is to recognize ourselves as the sole cause of all our adversities.
Everything of importance has been said before by somebody who did not discover it.
For the night was not impartial. No, the night loved some more than others, served some more than others.
If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?
A man without ambition is dead. A man with ambition but no love is dead. A man with ambition and love for his blessings here on earth is ever so alive. Having been alive, it won't be so hard in the end to lie down and rest.
The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer.
Every moment of one's existence one is growing into more or retreating into less.
He who is not very strong in memory should not meddle with lying.
Darryl wasn't in good shape -- he was white-faced and panting.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today.
Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain.
A smiling face is half the meal.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
Seize opportunity by the beard, for it is bald behind.
If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.
At the mention of the word mace, the guy looked scared and kind of melted back, though the crowd kept him moving forward.
We rocked to a stop still on a downslope.
When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.
I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks.
It's very hard to take yourself too seriously when you look at the world from outer space.
Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement.
Walking is the best possible exercise. Habituate yourself to walk very far.
The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.
You can't have a light without a dark to stick it in.
Misquotations are the only quotations that are never misquoted.
Misquotations are the only quotations that are never misquoted.
We succeed only as we identify in life, or in war, or in anything else, a single overriding objective, and make all other considerations bend to that one objective.
Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.
I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me they are wonderful things for other people to go on.
I have enjoyed greatly the second blooming... suddenly you find - at the age of 50, say - that a whole new life has opened before you.
Sometimes love will pick you up by the short hairs...and jerk the heck out of you.
The great art of giving consists in this: the gift should cost very little and yet be greatly coveted, so that it may be the more highly appreciated.
Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside. Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.
Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement.
Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.
As long as you derive inner help and comfort from anything, keep it.
Few people think more than two or three times a year; I have made an international reputation for myself by thinking once or twice a week.
Darryl wasn't in good shape -- he was white-faced and panting.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
As I neared her, I bent to help her up, and was nearly knocked over her.
Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.
The faceless, eyeless armed man above me kept his gun very level.
People fail forward to success.
They are ill discoverers that think there is no land, when they can see nothing but sea.
Anything looked at closely becomes wonderful.
America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.
The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success. Talent is only a starting point in this business. You've got to keep on working that talent. Someday I'll reach for it and it won't be there.
In America, they want you to accomplish these great feats, to pull off these David Copperfield-type stunts. You want me to be great, but you don't ever want me to say I'm great?
Laughter is supposed to be the best medicine, however, it should never be at the expense of someone?s feelings or ignoring truth.
The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.
Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it.
Never eat more than you can lift.
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny ...'
Where we have strong emotions, we're liable to fool ourselves.
Go often to the house of thy friend; for weeds soon choke up the unused path.
We learn something every day, and lots of times it's that what we learned the day before was wrong.
We are made to persist. That's how we find out who we are.
We are always in search of the redeeming formula, the crystallizing thought.
Is love supposed to last throughout all time, or is it like trains changing at random stops. If I loved her, how could I leave her? If I felt that way then, how come I don't feel anything now?
The hands behind me gave me another shove.
No great improvements in the lot of mankind are possible until a great change takes place in the fundamental constitution of their modes of thought.
Whenever evil befalls us, we ought to ask ourselves, after the first suffering, how we can turn it into good. So shall we take occasion, from one bitter root, to raise perhaps many flowers.
If you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else.
He will always be a slave who does not know how to live upon a little.
Every man, wherever he goes, is encompassed by a cloud of comforting convictions, which move with him like flies on a summer day.
You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans.
I shouted, and earned a hard thump on my head for my trouble.
Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.
I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it.
We are what we repeatedly do.
I have enjoyed greatly the second blooming... suddenly you find - at the age of 50, say - that a whole new life has opened before you.
At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote.
Whoso would be a man must be a nonconformist.
A mother is not a person to lean on but a person to make leaning unnecessary.
No one gossips about other people's secret virtues.
Resolve to edge in a little reading every day, if it is but a single sentence. If you gain fifteen minutes a day, it will make itself felt at the end of the year.
After the last of 16 mounting screws has been removed from an access cover, it will be discovered that the wrong access cover has been removed.
Why the hell would terrorists kidnap a bunch of high school students?
Good taste is the enemy of comedy.
Good soldiers never pass up a chance to eat or sleep. They never know how much they'll be called on to do before the next chance.
I wrote myself a check for ten million dollars for acting services rendered and dated it Thanksgiving 1995. I put it in my wallet and it deteriorated. And then, just before Thanksgiving 1995, I found out I was going to make ten million dollars for Dumb & Dumber. I put that check in the casket with my father because it was our dream together.
The more things a man is ashamed of, the more respectable he is.
Work saves us from three great evils: boredom, vice and need.
Keep your broken arm inside your sleeve.
Hearing voices no one else can hear isn't a good sign, even in the wizarding world.
There is nothing more dreadful than imagination without taste.
To do anything truly worth doing, I must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and danger, but jump in with gusto and scramble through as well as I can.
Nothing is said that has not been said before.
Someone dragged me by my arms out onto the road, then shoved me, stumbling, down a paved road.
I believe that every now and then it is important to laugh at ourselves and take a lighter approach to our life conditions.
Funny business, a woman's career: the things you drop on the way up the ladder so you can move faster. You forget you'll need them again when you get back to being a woman. It's one career all females have in common, whether we like it or not: being a woman.
I said to myself, I have things in my head that are not like what anyone has taught me - shapes and ideas so near to me - so natural to my way of being and thinking that it hasn't occurred to me to put them down. I decided to start anew, to strip away what I had been taught.
I felt the doors open near me, and then saw a confusion of booted feet moving close by.
We may not imagine how our lives could be more frustrating and complex--but Congress can.
He who labors diligently need never despair; for all things are accomplished by diligence and labor.
You need only reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence.
So quick and so fiercely I barely had time to gasp before it was locked on me.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
History is more or less bunk.
No one gossips about other people's secret virtues.
The perfect bureaucrat everywhere is the man who manages to make no decisions and escape all responsibility.
I've gone into hundreds of fortune-teller's parlors, and have been told thousands of things, but nobody ever told me I was a policewoman getting ready to arrest her.
Laughter is supposed to be the best medicine, however, it should never be at the expense of someone?s feelings or ignoring truth.
Photographers do this for a living, every single day -- they point their lenses toward every single corner of our world and somehow make the mundane mesmerizing through their artistic eye. It's all a matter of being aware of your surroundings and realizing that there are some really amazing and interesting things to look at, even if it may just be something so simple as a wall being covered up by paint.
A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it: it would be hell on earth.
Summer afternoon - Summer afternoon... the two most beautiful words in the English language.
Late to bed and late to wake will keep you long on money and short on mistakes.
For the most part, fear is nothing but an illusion. When you share it with someone else, it tends to disappear.
Cheese - milk's leap toward immortality.
I have always felt that a politician is to be judged by the animosities he excites among his opponents.
I phoned my dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter.
The car rocked back and forth and tipped uphill.
Photographers do this for a living, every single day -- they point their lenses toward every single corner of our world and somehow make the mundane mesmerizing through their artistic eye. It's all a matter of being aware of your surroundings and realizing that there are some really amazing and interesting things to look at, even if it may just be something so simple as a wall being covered up by paint.
All great truths begin as blasphemies.
I like an escalator because an escalator can never break, it can only become stairs. There would never be an escalator temporaly out of order sign, only an escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience.
I use an optimistic, positive approach to deal with my symptoms and it came the hard way, before I learned to laugh with myself a little.
Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs.
The car rocked back and forth and tipped uphill.
Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important.
I went up the stairs cautiously, not able to use my hands.
Keep cool and you command everybody.
He who boasts of his ancestry is praising the deeds of another.
We can be sure that the greatest hope for maintaining equilibrium in the face of any situation rests within ourselves.
I say luck is when an opportunity comes along, and you're prepared for it.
Keep cool and you command everybody.
Starting with getting run down by a drunk burning his way down Valencia -- that were infinitely more likely and immediate than terrorists.
The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Intimacy is what makes a marriage, not a ceremony, not a piece of paper from the state.
O, it is excellent to have a giant's strength; but it is tyrannous to use it like a giant.
Time is on the side of the oppressed today, it's against the oppressor. Truth is on the side of the oppressed today, it's against the oppressor. You don't need anything else.
At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote.
Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
My home is not a place, it is people.
To repeat what others have said, requires education; to challenge it, requires brains.
Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it.
Why the hell would terrorists kidnap a bunch of high school students?
I wrote myself a check for ten million dollars for acting services rendered and dated it Thanksgiving 1995. I put it in my wallet and it deteriorated. And then, just before Thanksgiving 1995, I found out I was going to make ten million dollars for Dumb & Dumber. I put that check in the casket with my father because it was our dream together.
The first precept was never to accept a thing as true until I knew it as such without a single doubt.
Maybe they were terrorists!
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
Man is only miserable so far as he thinks himself so.
We rarely think people have good sense unless they agree with us.
To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.
We all have strength enough to endure the misfortunes of others.
I felt the doors open near me, and then saw a confusion of booted feet moving close by.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
It's all right to have butterflies in your stomach. Just get them to fly in formation.
I don't mind what language an opera is sung in so long as it is a language I don't understand.
Keep your broken arm inside your sleeve.
Sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.
Because we don't think about future generations, they will never forget us.
I have always felt that a politician is to be judged by the animosities he excites among his opponents.
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes.
A sympathetic Scot summed it all up very neatly in the remark, "You should make a point of trying every experience once, excepting incest and folk dancing."
Our patience will achieve more than our force.
Rest is the sweet sauce of labor.
It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish.
The real hero is always a hero by mistake; he dreams of being an honest coward like everybody else.
One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.
Have patience awhile; slanders are not long-lived. Truth is the child of time; erelong she shall appear to vindicate thee.
The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.
A good man would prefer to be defeated than to defeat injustice by evil means.
Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.
Winning is important to me, but what brings me real joy is the experience of being fully engaged in whatever I'm doing.
The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.
While we have the gift of life, it seems to me that only tragedy is to allow part of us to die - whether it is our spirit, our creativity, or our glorious uniqueness.
A man can do all things if he but wills them.
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
I kept talking. "Listen -- this is some kind of misunderstanding.
It's the opinion of some that crops could be grown on the moon. Which raises the fear that it may not be long before we're paying somebody not to.
The advantage of a classical education is that it enables you to despise the wealth that it prevents you from achieving.
What's another word for Thesaurus?
Therefore search and see if there is not some place where you may invest your humanity.
Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.
If there is one thing worse than being an ugly duckling in a house of swans, it's having the swans pretend there's no difference.
Seize opportunity by the beard, for it is bald behind.
The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.
Be a good listener. Your ears will never get you in trouble.
There are always survivors at a massacre. Among the victors, if nowhere else.
Never read a book through merely because you have begun it.
Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough.
Americans are benevolently ignorant about Canada, while Canadians are malevolently well informed about the United States.
I nearly fell again, but new hands grabbed me from in front and dragged me down a steel floor and then forced me to my knees and locked my hands to something behind me.
The best of us must sometimes eat our words.
Best wide-angle lens? Two steps backward. Look for the 'ah-ha'.
Is there life before death?
One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say.
My home is not a place, it is people.
Most advances in science come when a person for one reason or another is forced to change fields.
It's innocence when it charms us, ignorance when it doesn't.
If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich.
Misquotations are the only quotations that are never misquoted.
Sometimes love will pick you up by the short hairs...and jerk the heck out of you.
There is a tragic flaw in our precious Constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.
There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
I have lost friends, some by death... others through sheer inability to cross the street.
I'm glad I didn't have to fight in any war. I'm glad I didn't have to pick up a gun. I'm glad I didn't get killed or kill somebody. I hope my kids enjoy the same lack of manhood.
The man who has nothing to boast of but his illustrious ancestry is like the potato - the best part under ground.
Deeds, not words shall speak me.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
Winning is important to me, but what brings me real joy is the experience of being fully engaged in whatever I'm doing.
Walking is man's best medicine.
The dead might as well try to speak to the living as the old to the young.
When you make a world tolerable for yourself, you make a world tolerable for others.
Life engenders life. Energy creates energy. It is by spending oneself that one becomes rich.
Arguments are to be avoided; they are always vulgar and often convincing.
A moment later, I caught my breath, but I didn't say anything.
People were still cramming down the stairs, and more were squeezing past the turnstiles and down the escalators onto the platforms, but it was clear to me that this wasn't going to have a happy ending.
For me, it's that I contributed, ... That I'm on this planet doing some good and making people happy. That's to me the most important thing, that my hour of television is positive and upbeat and an antidote for all the negative stuff going on in life.
The people I distrust most are those who want to improve our lives but have only one course of action.
The more things a man is ashamed of, the more respectable he is.
Be more prompt to go to a friend in adversity than in prosperity.
I daresay one profits more by the mistakes one makes off one's own bat than by doing the right thing on somebody's else advice.
Meetings are indispensable when you don't want to do anything.
Fresh clean sheets are one of life's small joys.
It?s like your batteries get low, and you need to charge them on someone else?s story.
I wrote myself a check for ten million dollars for acting services rendered and dated it Thanksgiving 1995. I put it in my wallet and it deteriorated. And then, just before Thanksgiving 1995, I found out I was going to make ten million dollars for Dumb & Dumber. I put that check in the casket with my father because it was our dream together.
A joke's a very serious thing.
There is no nonsense so errant that it cannot be made the creed of the vast majority by adequate governmental action.
It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
We have too many high sounding words, and too few actions that correspond with them.
I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.
It's very hard to take yourself too seriously when you look at the world from outer space.
Sometimes love will pick you up by the short hairs...and jerk the heck out of you.
The discovery of a new dish does more for human happiness than the discovery of a new star.
How we remember, what we remember and why we remember form the most personal map of our individuality.
None are so busy as the fool and knave.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
After the last of 16 mounting screws has been removed from an access cover, it will be discovered that the wrong access cover has been removed.
I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks.
Never rely on the glory of the morning nor the smiles of your mother-in-law.
I'd learned my lesson.
I write because I'm afraid to say some things out loud.
Walking is the best possible exercise. Habituate yourself to walk very far.
Work saves us from three great evils: boredom, vice and need.
Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.
Forget injuries, never forget kindnesses.
But be, as you have been, my happiness...
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all of your time.
Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb.
It is only possible to live happily ever after on a day-to-day basis.
Winning is important to me, but what brings me real joy is the experience of being fully engaged in whatever I'm doing.
How could you be a Great Man if history brought you no Great Events, or brought you to them at the wrong time, too young, too old?
The discovery of a new dish does more for human happiness than the discovery of a new star.
You always pass failure on the way to success.
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