crazy, lonely, happy girl

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Kolovoz 2007 (2)
Srpanj 2007 (2)
Lipanj 2007 (7)
Svibanj 2007 (6)
Travanj 2007 (5)
Ožujak 2007 (6)
Veljača 2007 (8)
Siječanj 2007 (9)
Prosinac 2006 (12)
Studeni 2006 (10)
Listopad 2006 (3)

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Komentari Yep/Nope

Opis bloga

zovem se matea
rođena sam 7.1.1990.
idem u jednu školu...(nije bitno)

volim: GLAZBU smijeh cerek
rock, punk, i sve dalje osim jazza
volim svoj jebeni život iako ponekad nije fer bang
volim otkvačene ljude koji ne mare za propise i tuđe stavove...
koji se usprostavljaju bez obzira na ishod...
volim cappuccino...
crnu boju...
svog ˝buraza˝
natu

ne volim: kretene puknucu
neke osobe headbang
umišljenike zujo
školu naughty lud

hobiji:plesanje
pjevanje
i tak sve pomalo... wave

sandra- tu curu definitivno obožavam... jako mi puuno
pomaže... i jako ju puuno volim...bez nje nemogu
zamisliti svoj život...
ana - obožavam ju... sasvim slučajno smo se upoznale
i postale best frendice.... super je i jako ju volim...
natalija - obožavam ju i jaako volim... dugo ju poznajem
i uvijek je uz mene...
hvala ti nato!!!
maja - to je tako predobro biće!!! također ju jako dugo
poznajem... i nikada nisam upoznala tako vedru
i pozitivnu osobu....
ivana - poznajem ju još od vrtića i jednostavno ju
obožavam... i još malo pa ćemo postati kume!!!
marina - poznajem ju jako dugo... i super je cura...
bivše best frendice... pozitiva...
marija - nemogu zamisliti dan bez nje.... i jako mi je
dosadno kada je nema u školi... totalno opičena
osoba... super je i jako ju volim!!

pišem o svom uvrnutom životu i snalaženju u njemu eek
sve svoje misli i razmišljanja stavljam na ovaj blog u nadi
da ima još mnogih koji imaju slične probleme... smijeh

i da moj msn....ako tko želi može ga upisati...
teica_07@hotmail.com

moj banner

made by:~antee~

moji pilići:

izgubljena djevojcica
¤¤_BU_BA_¤¤
pr!nc€$$
†_Vampire Princess Nicky_†
Dumb
*Jewel*ry
drink my blood
One day maybe...
dada
°¨°aaancica°¨°
s.o.a.d.-girl
target=_blank>†Angel_with_broken_wings†
angels1
devil
punk petar pan
Sophie Wolf
~stefimirka...~hehe

SLUŠAM ONO ŠTO JA ŽELIM, A TI??

The killers - obožavam ih i trenutno su jedna od najboljih
grupa... kako na svijetu tako i u mome srce...
obožavam brandona.... tak je sladak....

The Fray - suuper bend... imaju predobre pjesme...
i riječi u pjesmama su jednostavno odlične...

Evanescence - naj naj grupa na cijelom svijetu...
odmah poslije killersa u mome svijetu...
sve se zna o njima...i obožavam ih....

HIM - a šta reći o tom bendu... osim da je odličan
i da ima jaako dobre pjesme....i moja ih nata obožava...

My chemical romance - obožavam ih... imaju predobre
i kvalitetne pjesme...

Green day - dugo ih slušam... suuper su...
i billie je prezgodan....

Good charlotte - obožavam ih... slušam ih jaako dugo...
ma super su...

Fall out boy - imaju super pjesme i dobar novi album...
jako dobre pjesme na novom albumu....

coldplay - chris martin ima predobar glas...
uvijek me uspava... obožavam ga...

linkin park - tu grupu slušam 7 godina...
i obožavam ih... ma to je premalena riječ za njih....

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JESUS OF SUBURBIA
I'm the son of rage and love.
The Jesus of suburbia,
The bible of none of the above,
On a steady diet of...

Soda pop and Ritalin,
No one ever died for my sins in hell,
As far as I can tell,
At least the ones I got away with.

And there's nothing wrong with me,
This is how I'm supposed to be,
In a land of make believe,
That don't believe in me.

Get my television fix,
Sitting on my crucifix,
The living room on my private womb,
While the moms and Brads are away,
To fall in love and fall in debt,
To alcohol and cigarettes,
And mary jane,
To keep me insane,
Doing someone else's cocaine.

And there's nothing wrong with me,
This is how I'm supposed to be,
In a land of make believe,
That don't believe in me.

[Part II: City Of The Damned]

At the center of the Earth,
In the parking lot,
Of the 7-11 were I was taught,
The motto was just a lie,
It says home is where your heart is,
But what a shame,
Cause everyone's heart,
Doesn't beat the same,
It's beating out of time...

City of the dead,
At the end of another lost highway,
Signs misleading to nowhere,
City of the damned,
Lost children with dirty faces today,
No one really seems to care...

I read the graffiti,
In the bathroom stall,
Like the holy scriptures of the shopping mall,
And so it seemed to confess.
It didn't say much,
But it only confirmed that,
The center of the earth,
Is the end of the world,
And I could really care less...

City of the dead,
At the end of another lost highway,
Signs misleading to nowhere,
City of the damned,
Lost children with dirty faces today,
No-one really seems to caaaare...

HEY!

[Part III: I Don't Care]

I don't care if you don't,
I don't care if you don't,
I don't care if you don't care. (x4)

I don't careeeeeeeee...

Everyone is so full of shit,
Born and raised by hypocrites,
Hearts recycled but never saved,
From the cradle to the grave,
We are the kids of the war and peace,
From Anaheim to the Middle East,
We are the stories and disciples of,
The Jesus of Suburbia...

Land of make believe,
And it don't believe in me,
Land of make believe,
And it don't believe,
And I don't care!
I don't care! (x4)

[Part IV: Dearly Beloved.]

Dearly beloved are you listening?
I can't remember a word that you were saying,
Are we demented or am I disturbed?
The space that's in between insane and insecure
(Ooooo...)
Oh therapy, can you please fill the void?
Am I retarded or am I just overjoyed?
Nobody's perfect and I stand accused,
For lack of a better word, and that's my best excuse.

[Part V: Tales Of Another Broken Home.]

To live... and not to breathe,
Is to die... in tragedy.
To run... to run away,
To find... what to believe.

And I... leave behind,
This hurricane of fucking lies.

I lost... my faith to this,
This town... that don't exist,
So I run... I run away,
To the light... of masochist.

And I leave behind,
This hurricane of fucking lies.
And I walked this line,
A million and one fucking times.
But not this time.

I don't feel any shame,
I won't apologize...
When there ain't nowhere you can go.

Running away from pain,
When you've been victimized...
Tales from another broken hoooome...

You're leaving...
You're leaving...
You're leaving...
Ah you're leaving home...

HOW TO SAVE A LIFE
Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

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evanescence - lithium
Lithium, don't want to lock me up inside.
Lithium, don't want to forget how it feels without...
Lithium, I want to stay in love with my sorrow.
Oh, but God, I want to let it go.

Come to bed, don't make me sleep alone.
Couldn't hide the emptiness, you let it show.
Never wanted it to be so cold.
Just didn't drink enough to say you love me.

I can't hold on to me,
Wonder what's wrong with me.

Lithium, don't want to lock me up inside.
Lithium, don't want to forget how it feels without...
Lithium, I want to stay in love with my sorrow.

Don't want to let it lay me down this time.
Drown my will to fly.
Here in the darkness I know myself.
Can't break free until I let it go.
Let me go.

Darling, I forgive you after all.
Anything is better than to be alone.
And in the end I guess I had to fall.
Always find my place among the ashes.

I can't hold on to me,
Wonder what's wrong with me.

Lithium, don't want to lock me up inside.
Lithium, don't want to forget how it feels without...
Lithium, ...stay in love with my sorrow.
I'm gonna let

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Welcome to the black parade

When I was a young boy,
My father took me into the city
To see a marching band.
He said,
"Son when you grow up, will you be the saviour of the broken,
The beaten and the damned?"
He said
"Will you defeat them, your demons, and all the non believers, the plans that they have made?"
Because one day I leave you,
A phantom to lead you in the summer,
To join the black parade."

When I was a young boy,
My father took me into the city
To see a marching band.
He said,
"Son when you grow up, will you be the saviour of the broken,
The beaten and the damned?"

Sometimes I get the feeling she's watching over me.
And other times I feel like I should go. Through it all, the rise and fall, the bodies in the streets.
When you're gone we want you all to know We'll Carry on,
We'll Carry on
Though your dead and gone believe me Your memory will carry on
Carry on
We'll carry on
And in my heart I cant contain it
The anthem wont explain it.

And we will send you reeling from decimated dreams
Your misery and hate will kill us all
So paint it black and take it back
Lets shout it loud and clear
Do you fight it to the end
We hear the call to
To carry on
We'll carry on
Though your dead and gone believe me Your memory will carry on
We'll carry on
And though you're broken and defeated You're weary widow marches on

And on we carry through the fears
Ooh oh ohhhh
Disappointed faces of your peers Ooh oh ohhhh
Take a look at me cause
I could not care at all Do or die
You'll never make me
Cause the world, will never take my heart
You can try, you'll never break me
Want it all,
I'm gonna play this part
Wont explain or say i'm sorry
I'm not ashamed,
I'm gonna show my scar
You're the chair, for all the broken Listen here, because it's only..
I'm just a man,
I'm not a hero
Just a boy, who's meant to sing this song
Just a man,
I'm not a hero
I -- don't -- care
Carry on
We'll carry on
Though your dead and gone believe me Your memory will carry on
We'll carry on
And though you're broken and defeated You're weary widow marches on
We'll carry on
We'll carry on
We'll carry on
We'll carry
We'll carry on

The killers – Mr.Brightside
Coming out of my cage
And I've been doing just fine
Gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this?
It was only a kiss
It was only a kiss

Now I'm falling asleep
And she's calling a cab
While he's having a smoke
And she's taking the drag

Now they're going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it's all in my head
But she's touching his chest now

He takes off her dress now
Let me go
And I just can't look
It's killing me
And taking control

Jealousy
Turning saints into the sea
Turning through sick lullaby
Joking on your alibi
But it's just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
I'm Mr. Brightside

(repeat)

Welcome to my truth
Sentimental days
In a misty clouded haze
Of a memory that now feels untrue
I used to feel disguised
Now I leave the mask behind
Painting pictures that aren't so blue
The pages I've turned are the lessons I've learned

Chorus:
Somebody bring up the lights I want you to see
(Don't You Feel Sorry For Me)
My life turned around
But I'm still living my dreams
(Yes it's true I've been)
I've been through it all
Hit about a million walls
Welcome to my truth.. I still love
Welcome to my truth.. I still love

Tangled in a web
With a pain hard to forget
That was a time that I've now put to rest
Oh, the pages I've turned are the lessons I've learned

(Chorus)

Sentimental days
In a mist of clouded haze
Of a memory that now feels untrue

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ponedjeljak, 26.03.2007.

love hurts

helooo ljudi moji...
evo danas ću pisati malo o ozbiljnijoj
temi... a zove se ljubav...

već par dana sanjam da sam ludo zaljubljena...
cijelo vrijeme se ljubim i grlim sa nekim
tipom i ne sramim se pokazati to pred
ljudima....
no to je naravno samo san....
jer ja neznam kada sam se zaljubila....
fakat je prošlo dosta godina od posljednje
moje simpe... imala sam dečkiju.... ali
niti jednog nisam iskreno voljela....

često pričamo na nastavi o ljubavi...
na etici stalno... i svi nešto govore samo
ja šutim.... kada bi me profa pitala da
nešto kažem... samo klimnem glavom i
potvrdim ono što kažu drugi....

ljudi govore da postoji samo jedna istinska
i prava ljubav... a šta ako sam ju već davno
u prošlosti doživjela... zar ću cijeli ostatak
svog života biti sama ili praviti se da volim??
to me totalno izluđuje... jer zbilja se želim
zaljubiti....
dok sam bila klinka svaki mjesec bih se zaljubila
u nekog drugog... a otkad sam krenula u srednju
potpuno je nastao kaos... zbilja neznam što
znači kada srce luđački kuca, nemožemo jesti
niti spavati... nemožemo se usredotočiti na školu...
ja sam potpuno zaboravila kako je to...

kažu... mlada si ima vremena... ali kada moje
vrijeme doći.. glumim da sam sretna... glumim
da mogu sve sama... ali kada dođem doma
fali mi netko tko će me zagrliti...samo jedan
zagrljaj....

i ovo je napisala Sophie Wolf za mene....jednostavno
je prelijepo : Shvaćanje je sada, ne sutra. Sutra je daleko za lijeni um, tromi um, um kojega nije briga. Transformacija će se jedino desiti sada; revolucija je sada a ne sutra

good charlotte - the river

- 21:12 - Komentiraj (64) - Isprintaj - Link

srijeda, 21.03.2007.

sweet sacrifice

ovaj naslov nema veze sa postom...
bar se nadam....
sjetila sam se da to bude naslov jer baš slušam evanescence...
i tu njihovu pjesmu...
pjesma je presavršena... preodlična... bezprijekorna...

ovih dana i nije bilo niš posebno...
zasluženo sam u kazni...
u školi je koma...
jedino je danas bilo dobro... savršeno...
imali smo dan obrnutih uloga...
neki učenici koji se jave oni su profači i drže sat...
a profači su učenici....
bilo je tu svašta... jedinica i petica...
mogu sve zapisivati u imenik... baš fora...
ja se javljam sljedeće godine...
i da... zadnji sat smo imali biologiju...
i došli su nam neki sa otv-a i snimali su
jedan dio sata.... mi smo se cijelo vrijeme smijali...
i pitali oni mene za komentar... a ja neznam kud
da gledam.... u kameru ili novinara??
baš je bilo smiješno...
bili smo danas na otv-u u 18. 30...
a ja kak nemam otv nisam to gledala...
nije fer... puknucu burninmad

i pokušavam misliti što pozitivnije...
no to će trajati do sutra jer ću dobiti
takvu kuljetinu iz matiše...

i bila sam danas sa curama u san antoniju...
bili su neki dečki smiješni dečki...
naime išli smo vlakom do tam...
ja se prvi put vozila vlakom!!!
da.... purgerica navikla samo na tramvaje....
ma sve je bilo suuper...
nekak sam happy....

i ovu pjesmu jednostavno moram staviti...
jednostavno mi je odlična.... neka strast izlazi
iz nje.... baš je slatka...

Lenny Kravitz - Believe In Me

- 21:07 - Komentiraj (113) - Isprintaj - Link

petak, 16.03.2007.

The Way I Am

helooo.. evo ovih dana se svašta događalo...
i dobro i loše... ima tu svašta....
pa da počnem...
stara mi je bila na informacijama....
i naravno sve saznala....
i bila je jako razočarana... burninmad
nema riječi za moju glupost...
i kada je došla doma... čudno... nije se derala...
samo je rekla ZAŠTO!!!!????
ja naravno nisam znala što odgovoriti...
mogla sam bilo šta reći... lagati... izmisliti...
ali nisam htjela...

I try to fly away but it's impossible
And every breath I take gives birth to deeper sighs
And for a moment I am weak
So it's hard for me to speak
Even though we're underneath the same blue

i nakon par sati provedenih plačući... slušajući prodike...
odlučili smo da je vrijeme da se smirim i počnem ispočetka...
i od danas sam počela od početka...
pričala sam sa raskom... i sve se djelomično sredilo...
imam 30 neopravdanih...
ali pošto sam ja dobra curica.. ne radim nerede...
dali su mi posljednju šansu... i ako imam još samo 1
neopravdani letim van iz škole...
i sljedeći tjedan idem na razgovor kod ravnateljice...

If I could paint a picture of this melody
It would be a violin without its strings
And the canvas in my mind
Sings the songs I left behind
Like pretty flowers and a sunset

nemogu vjerovati kako sam bila tako glupa i naivna...
mislila sam da ću svoje brige rješiti tako da markiram...
umjesto toga zaplela sam se u još veće brige...
i sada moram se iz toga ispetljati...
početi novi život...
novi početak....

I've had my share of pleasure
And I've tasted pain
I never thought that I would touch an angel's wings
There's a journey in my eyes
It's getting hard for me to hide
Like the ocean at the sunrise

prošle godine još je jedna cura bila u takvoj situaciji
u mom razredu i izbacili su je iz škole...
gledala sam ju i nisam mogla vjerovati što je radila
od sebe... mislila sam da se meni to nikada neće
dogoditi... gadno sam se prevarila!!!

And now I'm lost in restless nights
Just a whisper of the life
That we created
Shadows falling
I am calling

no... hvala bogu.. imam super frendice koje će mi
pomoći da se vratim na normalu...
sany i ana mi jako puno pomažu...
i zahvalna sam im na tomu... do groba!!!
i hvala bogu... stara mi je sve oprostila...
nadam se... smijeh
i da... sa onim svojim nisam se čula već 2 dana...
nemam para na mobu... valjda nema niti on...
a i ovih dana bila je ludnica...pa baš i nisam imala
vremena za njega...

And I could see it clearly once
When you were here with me
And now somehow all that's left are
Pieces of a dream....

i pošto je ovo bio dosta dugačak post...
sljedeći tjedan pišem štafetu koju sam dobila
od ghotic girl with red rose...
pussa svima... thumbup kiss

the killers-read my mind

- 21:34 - Komentiraj (123) - Isprintaj - Link

ponedjeljak, 12.03.2007.

ljudi moji... puuno vam hvala na komentarima...
tako ste suuper...

evo ovih tjedan dana dešavalo se svašta...
i više ni neznam što se sve izdogađalo...

uglavnom... cijeli tjedan javljao mi se moj...
sada već bivši... ma znate na koga mislim...
i tako dopisivali smo se... i našli se u petak...
i cijelo vrijeme smo se mazili... puknucu
znam da nisam smjela... ali ipak?? zujo
no dobro... na kraju nismo skupa...
mislim pitao me je ali sam odbila jer sam shvatila
da je bolje da idemo polako pa kud nas život
odnese.... cerek

i da... danas sam bila tako sretna...
jakoo happy... sve dok nisam shvatila da mi
stara ide na informacije u četvrtak... a ja sam
jako puuno izostajala i sada neznam kako da
nabavim ispričnice i kako da joj to uopće kažem...
počet će se derati.. a ja joj nemogu objasniti zašto
sam izostajala...
znaš mama... bila sam u depri... kukavica i nije
mi se dalo biti u školi... to kod moje stare ne prolazi...
joj... u koja sam se ja sranja uvalila... joj... blabla

i tako mi se plače... i ne vidim nikakav izlaz....
i sve je tako bedasto.. najrađe bi popila nekakve
tablete i zaspala... da se više nikada ne probudim...
ali tu je moja sany... i ančica koje jednostavno
ne mogu ostaviti.... cerek cerek

Zašto se svi deru?? Zašto se svi mrze?? Zašto svi okreću glavu
i prave se da ne čuju naše muke??
Zašto na svijetu vlada rat i mržnja iz srca tuče??
Zašto baš ja moram shvatiti što je bilo juče??
Zašto nemožemo jednostavno zaustaviti vrijeme
i uživati u jednom trenutku??.. trenutku za kojeg nam
srce udara.. trenutak za koji osmijeh padne nam na
lice.. i sreća zavlada našom dušom..
Zašto kada padnemo u depru.. i izlaza nema....
ne pojavi se ruka koja pružiti nam pomoć je spremna....

Within Temptation-stand my ground

- 20:26 - Komentiraj (104) - Isprintaj - Link

ponedjeljak, 05.03.2007.

you know I'm no good

heloo... ljudi moji... joj... zamalo me strefio srčani..
kada sam vidjela koliko imam komentara...
pa hvala svima od srca!!!

i da počnem...
u subotu sam se išla naći sa njime...
bilo je ok.. bili smo u baredu...
i neki njegovi frendovi...
čak smo jednog spojili sa anom...
ana...jel ti je dobro sa njime??
nadam se da ćeš imati više sreće nego ja...

i jučer smo se vidjeli... bila je cijela ekipa...
i meni je malo bilo neugodno.. jer sam crna ovca
tamo među njima... svi me mrze osim dečkiju...
blago meni!!
i da krenem više pisati nešto bitno...stalno kružim..
ovako je išlo... malo smo se barili u parkiću... i onda je
došao njegov frend.. i nije nas puštao na miru...
i tako smo svi pričali... pa je došla do nas cijela ekipa...
a ja jadna tamo sama...
i tako nije bilo tučnjave...

i kada sam došla doma... poslao mi je poruku...
i ja sam mu odgovorila kako mi je svega dosta...
i da je najbolje da prekinemo...
a on meni kaže: meni je svejedno..ti odluči!!
i na kraju smo prekinuli...
nismo bezveze prekinuli... imalo je tu dosta
ljudi prste u tome... svi su bili protiv nas...
a i njemu baš nije stalo do mene...
koliko sam shvatila... i tu je jedna druga cura...

i dok sam bila u školi... poslao mi je poruku...
poruka je glasila: matea.. da li ti mene voliš...
hoćemo li se naći danas??
i ja sretna sam bila...neznam zašto...
i napišem da... koja je to bila pogreška??
i kasnije me nazove ana i kaže da se jedan
njegov frend zagrijo za mene i da želi da budemo
zajedno...

mrtva hladna sam odbila... ne želim nikoga iz
one ekipe... jedan sasvim dovoljan...
i na kraju se neću naći sa njime.. jer mi je
ančica ispričala još svakakve stvari koje sam
čula o njemu...

želim ga što brže zaboraviti...
valjda će doći vrijeme da i ja imam nekog normalnog
dečka...stvarno je sve tako glupo ispalo...
taj broj tražila sam dva tjedan... bezveze se nadala
i mislila da će ova veza možda potrajati...i sada
na kraju ništa od toga...

i ovaj je bio dug post...
hvala vam na komentarima...nadam se da ću vam se
odužiti... pussam vas sve.. i hvala na podršci... kiss

Fort Minor_ Where'd you go

- 16:13 - Komentiraj (105) - Isprintaj - Link

subota, 03.03.2007.

nikada te neću zaboraviti

Prošlo je mnogo mjeseci,
prošla je godina...
otkad si otišla...

Rekli su mi da ću te zaboraviti...
ali ja se još i danas nadam
da ćeš se vratiti....

još i danas te poželim primiti za ruku
i gledati tvoje plave oči...

još i danas želim dotaknuti tvoju kosu
i osjećati se sretnom...

Brojim dane od tvoga odlaska,
skupljam riječi, koračam nesigurno
putem zaborava....

Suze mi naviru na obraze,
želim da se vratiš,
ali onda shvatim da
si zauvijek otišla i više
se nikada nećeš vratiti!!!

3.6.2005.-3.3. 2007.

ovo je još jedna od pjesama koje sam napisala svojoj baki...
i danas se idem naći sa njime...
ali tako mi se neda..
ovih dana bilo je svašta... čak je bilo i suuper....
i hvala vam na komentarima....
pussa svima.... kiss kiss

Nightwish - Nemo

- 16:02 - Komentiraj (162) - Isprintaj - Link

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