zovem se matea
rođena sam 7.1.1990.
idem u jednu školu...(nije bitno)
volim: GLAZBU
rock, punk, i sve dalje osim jazza
volim svoj jebeni život iako ponekad nije fer
volim otkvačene ljude koji ne mare za propise i tuđe stavove...
koji se usprostavljaju bez obzira na ishod...
volim cappuccino...
crnu boju...
svog ˝buraza˝
natu
ne volim: kretene
neke osobe
umišljenike
školu
hobiji:plesanje
pjevanje
i tak sve pomalo...
sandra- tu curu definitivno obožavam... jako mi puuno
pomaže... i jako ju puuno volim...bez nje nemogu
zamisliti svoj život... ana - obožavam ju... sasvim slučajno smo se upoznale
i postale best frendice.... super je i jako ju volim... natalija - obožavam ju i jaako volim... dugo ju poznajem
i uvijek je uz mene...
hvala ti nato!!! maja - to je tako predobro biće!!! također ju jako dugo
poznajem... i nikada nisam upoznala tako vedru
i pozitivnu osobu.... ivana - poznajem ju još od vrtića i jednostavno ju
obožavam... i još malo pa ćemo postati kume!!! marina - poznajem ju jako dugo... i super je cura...
bivše best frendice... pozitiva... marija - nemogu zamisliti dan bez nje.... i jako mi je
dosadno kada je nema u školi... totalno opičena
osoba... super je i jako ju volim!!
pišem o svom uvrnutom životu i snalaženju u njemu
sve svoje misli i razmišljanja stavljam na ovaj blog u nadi
da ima još mnogih koji imaju slične probleme...
i da moj msn....ako tko želi može ga upisati...
teica_07@hotmail.com
JESUS OF SUBURBIA
I'm the son of rage and love.
The Jesus of suburbia,
The bible of none of the above,
On a steady diet of...
Soda pop and Ritalin,
No one ever died for my sins in hell,
As far as I can tell,
At least the ones I got away with.
And there's nothing wrong with me,
This is how I'm supposed to be,
In a land of make believe,
That don't believe in me.
Get my television fix,
Sitting on my crucifix,
The living room on my private womb,
While the moms and Brads are away,
To fall in love and fall in debt,
To alcohol and cigarettes,
And mary jane,
To keep me insane,
Doing someone else's cocaine.
And there's nothing wrong with me,
This is how I'm supposed to be,
In a land of make believe,
That don't believe in me.
[Part II: City Of The Damned]
At the center of the Earth,
In the parking lot,
Of the 7-11 were I was taught,
The motto was just a lie,
It says home is where your heart is,
But what a shame,
Cause everyone's heart,
Doesn't beat the same,
It's beating out of time...
City of the dead,
At the end of another lost highway,
Signs misleading to nowhere,
City of the damned,
Lost children with dirty faces today,
No one really seems to care...
I read the graffiti,
In the bathroom stall,
Like the holy scriptures of the shopping mall,
And so it seemed to confess.
It didn't say much,
But it only confirmed that,
The center of the earth,
Is the end of the world,
And I could really care less...
City of the dead,
At the end of another lost highway,
Signs misleading to nowhere,
City of the damned,
Lost children with dirty faces today,
No-one really seems to caaaare...
HEY!
[Part III: I Don't Care]
I don't care if you don't,
I don't care if you don't,
I don't care if you don't care. (x4)
I don't careeeeeeeee...
Everyone is so full of shit,
Born and raised by hypocrites,
Hearts recycled but never saved,
From the cradle to the grave,
We are the kids of the war and peace,
From Anaheim to the Middle East,
We are the stories and disciples of,
The Jesus of Suburbia...
Land of make believe,
And it don't believe in me,
Land of make believe,
And it don't believe,
And I don't care!
I don't care! (x4)
[Part IV: Dearly Beloved.]
Dearly beloved are you listening?
I can't remember a word that you were saying,
Are we demented or am I disturbed?
The space that's in between insane and insecure
(Ooooo...)
Oh therapy, can you please fill the void?
Am I retarded or am I just overjoyed?
Nobody's perfect and I stand accused,
For lack of a better word, and that's my best excuse.
[Part V: Tales Of Another Broken Home.]
To live... and not to breathe,
Is to die... in tragedy.
To run... to run away,
To find... what to believe.
And I... leave behind,
This hurricane of fucking lies.
I lost... my faith to this,
This town... that don't exist,
So I run... I run away,
To the light... of masochist.
And I leave behind,
This hurricane of fucking lies.
And I walked this line,
A million and one fucking times.
But not this time.
I don't feel any shame,
I won't apologize...
When there ain't nowhere you can go.
Running away from pain,
When you've been victimized...
Tales from another broken hoooome...
HOW TO SAVE A LIFE
Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
evanescence - lithium
Lithium, don't want to lock me up inside.
Lithium, don't want to forget how it feels without...
Lithium, I want to stay in love with my sorrow.
Oh, but God, I want to let it go.
Come to bed, don't make me sleep alone.
Couldn't hide the emptiness, you let it show.
Never wanted it to be so cold.
Just didn't drink enough to say you love me.
I can't hold on to me,
Wonder what's wrong with me.
Lithium, don't want to lock me up inside.
Lithium, don't want to forget how it feels without...
Lithium, I want to stay in love with my sorrow.
Don't want to let it lay me down this time.
Drown my will to fly.
Here in the darkness I know myself.
Can't break free until I let it go.
Let me go.
Darling, I forgive you after all.
Anything is better than to be alone.
And in the end I guess I had to fall.
Always find my place among the ashes.
I can't hold on to me,
Wonder what's wrong with me.
Lithium, don't want to lock me up inside.
Lithium, don't want to forget how it feels without...
Lithium, ...stay in love with my sorrow.
I'm gonna let
When I was a young boy,
My father took me into the city
To see a marching band.
He said,
"Son when you grow up, will you be the saviour of the broken,
The beaten and the damned?"
He said
"Will you defeat them, your demons, and all the non believers, the plans that they have made?"
Because one day I leave you,
A phantom to lead you in the summer,
To join the black parade."
When I was a young boy,
My father took me into the city
To see a marching band.
He said,
"Son when you grow up, will you be the saviour of the broken,
The beaten and the damned?"
Sometimes I get the feeling she's watching over me.
And other times I feel like I should go. Through it all, the rise and fall, the bodies in the streets.
When you're gone we want you all to know We'll Carry on,
We'll Carry on
Though your dead and gone believe me Your memory will carry on
Carry on
We'll carry on
And in my heart I cant contain it
The anthem wont explain it.
And we will send you reeling from decimated dreams
Your misery and hate will kill us all
So paint it black and take it back
Lets shout it loud and clear
Do you fight it to the end
We hear the call to
To carry on
We'll carry on
Though your dead and gone believe me Your memory will carry on
We'll carry on
And though you're broken and defeated You're weary widow marches on
And on we carry through the fears
Ooh oh ohhhh
Disappointed faces of your peers Ooh oh ohhhh
Take a look at me cause
I could not care at all Do or die
You'll never make me
Cause the world, will never take my heart
You can try, you'll never break me
Want it all,
I'm gonna play this part
Wont explain or say i'm sorry
I'm not ashamed,
I'm gonna show my scar
You're the chair, for all the broken Listen here, because it's only..
I'm just a man,
I'm not a hero
Just a boy, who's meant to sing this song
Just a man,
I'm not a hero
I -- don't -- care
Carry on
We'll carry on
Though your dead and gone believe me Your memory will carry on
We'll carry on
And though you're broken and defeated You're weary widow marches on
We'll carry on
We'll carry on
We'll carry on
We'll carry
We'll carry on
The killers – Mr.Brightside
Coming out of my cage
And I've been doing just fine
Gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this?
It was only a kiss
It was only a kiss
Now I'm falling asleep
And she's calling a cab
While he's having a smoke
And she's taking the drag
Now they're going to bed
And my stomach is sick
And it's all in my head
But she's touching his chest now
He takes off her dress now
Let me go
And I just can't look
It's killing me
And taking control
Jealousy
Turning saints into the sea
Turning through sick lullaby
Joking on your alibi
But it's just the price I pay
Destiny is calling me
Open up my eager eyes
I'm Mr. Brightside
Welcome to my truth
Sentimental days
In a misty clouded haze
Of a memory that now feels untrue
I used to feel disguised
Now I leave the mask behind
Painting pictures that aren't so blue
The pages I've turned are the lessons I've learned
Chorus:
Somebody bring up the lights I want you to see
(Don't You Feel Sorry For Me)
My life turned around
But I'm still living my dreams
(Yes it's true I've been)
I've been through it all
Hit about a million walls
Welcome to my truth.. I still love
Welcome to my truth.. I still love
Tangled in a web
With a pain hard to forget
That was a time that I've now put to rest
Oh, the pages I've turned are the lessons I've learned
(Chorus)
Sentimental days
In a mist of clouded haze
Of a memory that now feels untrue
postoji li??ili je to sve izmišljotina nekog ljudskog lika??
na internetu sam našla zanimljivu priču koju sam morala
odmah staviti na svoj blog..priča je prelijepa..
Blizanci u maternici razgovaraju:
- Da li vjeruješ u život poslije rođenja?
- Naravno, sigurno postoji nešto nakon rođenja. Možda smo ovdje baš zato da
se pripremimo na život poslije rođenja.
- To je glupost. Nema života poslije rođenja. Kako bi taj život uopće
izgledao?
- Ne znam točno, ali uvjeren sam da će biti više svjetla i da ćemo moći
hodati i jesti svojim ustima.
- To je potpuna glupost. Znaš da je nemoguće trčati. I jesti svojim
ustima, pa zato imamo pupčanu vrpcu. Kažem ti; poslije rođenja nema života.
- Pupčana vrpca je prekratka. Uvjeren sam da postoji nešto poslije rođenja.
Nešto posvem drugačije nego ovo što živimo sada.
- Ali nitko se nije vratio od tamo. Život se poslije rođenja završava. Osim
toga život nije ništa drugo nego postojanje u uskoj i mračnoj okolini.
- Pa ne znam baš točno kako izgleda život poslije rođenja, ali ćemo u
svakom slučaju sresti našu mamu. Ona će zatim brinuti za nas.
- Mama?!? Ti vjeruješ u mamu, pa gdje bi po tvome ta mama bila?
- Svuda oko nas, naravno. Zahvaljujući njoj smo živi, bez nje ne bismo
uopće postojali.
- Ne vjerujem! Mamu nisam nikada vidio, zato je jasno da ne postoji.
- Da moguće, ali ponekad, kada smo potpuno mirni, možemo je čuti kako pjeva
i miluje naš svijet. Znaš uvjeren sam da život poslije rođenja zapravo tek
započinje....
ova priča potakla me na razmišljanje...
mi smo rođeni..te tako i mi razmišljamo postoji li
nešto poslije smrti...
mama zapravo simbolizira boga..koji je uvijek uz nas
i uvijek pazi na nas...to je moje mišljenje...
pussam vas sve i ostavljam vas uz razmišljanje...
ajme meni...mislim da bi bilo vrijeme da napišem novi post..
ovih par dana bilo mi je užasno zabavno...
u petak sam išla van sa marinom, anom i ivićem..
i čak sam se od jedne pive napila..inače mi trebaju 5-6 limenki...
i počela sam režati na ljude..baš lijepo...
u subotu sam isto išla van...i nisam se napila..
šmrc... bilo je Ok!!
puno rulje..ja u štiklama..bole užasno noge..
no..sve sam ja to preživjela..hehe..
u nedjelju sam otišla do susjede..
ona je radila u jednoj kladionici..
išla sam sa marinom i mislile smo ostati 2 ili 3 sata
no mi smo ostale oko 8 sati..bravo za nas!!!
i ovih par dana pripremam se za učenje..
ono psihički...hehe...
ali nejde..sandrica mi pomaže jako...
i jučer smo išle gledati badiće..i takav pljusak
nas je dočekao na trgu da smo jedva došle doma...
i sve je super...i nadam se da ste i vi happy...
pussek svima
helooo...jeste mi se riješili školice??
ja još nisam...
imam popravne...
no...škola je gotova..i neželim više ništa
pričati o njoj..
hehe ..
ovih dana bilo mi je zakon..
naravno..stresa ko u priči..
ali društvo je jednostavno
prejebenoooo....
svi su mi tak super...i sada
su svi otišli..mislim na more..
hehe....
i mojom mateici je 27.6. rođendan...
pa će biti tulum...da sada je napokon
došlo ljeto..tuluma ko u priči...
jedva čekam!!!
pussam vas sve...i napokon budite happy..
i nedajte se..pussek
evo i mene..
napokon...
baš mi se i neda pisati post..
ali prošlo je dosta dugo od prošlog...
pa da krenem...ima svašta ali opet ništa
posebnog...
škola..hm...pa tu ima svaša...
čak sam podigla neke ocjene...
ali još imam puno toga za ispravljati
pa neću unaprijed ništa govoriti...
u petak sam se šetala sa marinom po kvartu..
i došao je jedan policajac..mi se dvije prepale...
i počeo je pričati s nama..navodno ima 27
godina...hm...meni izgleda starije...
da ste vidjeli ljude koji su prolazili i gledali kaj
nas dvije radimo s policajcem..
krepavala sam od smijeha...
i ovo je bio kratak postić..tek toliko...
pussam vas...i ostavljajte mi komiće..
u životu prevladavaju oni dobri...i oni
ružni trenutci...tako to nazovimo...
u jednom trenutku mislimo da smo
na vrhu svijeta....sve nam ide...
svi nas obožavaju...svi žele pričati
s nama....dodirnuti nas...pohvaliti
se da su nas upoznali....
u drugom trenutku to nije ni
postojalo...samo lijepa uspomena..
u jednom trenutku ljudi nas
bez ikakvog razloga mrze...
ljudi nas preziru....
ne žele pričati s nama...
a kamoli nas dotaknuti...
gadimo im se....
no mislim da je to sve
prolaznost... i kada na kraju
spoznamo da je sve prolazno
neke nama važne stvari u tom
trenutku postaju nevažne...
i ono za što smo se borili...
nestaje..u samo jednom trenutku...
trenutak nošen vjetrom...
u školi je sve koma...
imam već sada skoro zaključeno 2 kulje
za kraj... i više ništa nemogu....
zagarantirane su...i sada samo čekam
treću.... a te 2 kulje su iz matiše i
infice...grozota!!!
i danas sam se sretna probudila...
jer sam sanjala najljepši san dosad...
prelijep...joj...prekrasan...sve je bilo
tako savršeno..i onda me glupa budilica
mora probuditi...heh..
tišina...prokleta tišina
razara moje srce...
i ponekad poželim
da se to nikada nije dogodilo...
poželim sve to ignorirati...
i zakopati u najmračniji dio sebe...
bilo je Ok!!
