painting flowers white never suited my pallette

a human destiny but nothing human inside

Večeras
Tiho hodam da ne čuješ da odlazim

Someone has walked in my mind



Should I follow the tender voices in the dark?
They called my name again
can't remember just when it began
The tourtured body heals
It’s the mind that don’t
Still playing its own puppet show



They used to play right in front of my flat
Their voices were so light
Calling me
I couldn’t resist

They don’t fucking play anymore



Tamburu mi prodo Cigan... Slatkorečiv i prefrigan...
Čukununuk prosjaka i begova...
Omakne se prst na struni... Nesretna me pesma zbuni...
Ne znam dal je moja ili njegova?
Nek me spali grom ko senjak ako ima šta za čim bi žalio?
Proklet da je obešenjak... Tugu mi je s tamburom uvalio...

Darovo mi knjigu rabin... Ubojitu ko karabin...
Ako umeš laž od laži probrati...
Al već odavno ne znam više dal je čitam il je pišem,
Ja zaustim a mudrac se obrati?
I tako...
U mastiku suza kane... Muti čašu... Pa i dane zamuti...
Ja sam sebe manji komad... Veći deo čini Nomad...
A taj čudak nešto bunca... Njemu nikad dosta sunca...

Jablani tuže jalovi... I dok ih slušam...
Uvek me hvata ritam jata... žal za jugom...
Prolaze nebom ždralovi... I ova duša...
I noćas ore tamo gore... Za tim plugom...

Ukrao mi ljubav lopov... Sin doktorov unuk popov...
Odveo je u Zemlju Bez Snegova...
U snove mi bosa bane... Pripretim joj da zastane...
Dal je u snu moja ili njegova?
I tako...
Krckam dane ko orase... Šta zagorči ne mora se zagristi...
Sejem svet kroz sitno sito... Tražim nešto naročito...
Pokajnika i begunca... Nekog s one strane sunca...

Jablani tuže jalovi... I dok ih slušam...
Uvek me hvata ritam jata... žal za jugom...
Prolaze nebom ždralovi... I ova duša...
I noćas ore tamo gore... Za tim plugom...

Jablani tuže jalovi... I dok ih slušam...
Uvek me hvata ritam jata... žal za jugom...
Prolaze nebom ždralovi... I ova duša...
I noćas ore tamo gore... Za tim plugom...
I noćas ore tamo gore... Za tim plugom...



by : BEBACH {inner monologue}

31.05.2008. u 22:02 | 24 Komentara | Print | # | ^

feel the light from my eyes offering consolation tonight

Kažu da je čovjek najkreativniji tik prije nego što zaspi. Na granici jave i sna.



Through the shadows of hate

Watching the snow
Losing its siluettes in the cold air in front of me
In this night
Pale, cold night
Feels like the clouds are dancing in front of the full moon
And every look hurts
Must I ask?
You know I'll promise anything
In this night
Pale, cold night
I see the shimmering lights burning out

I still remember the times I walked alone...dead
There was no hope to stop me
My intensions were cealed
Lost, I was
Laying, watching the stars

Tonight, I rise again



I gledam ih. Samo ih gledam. Sjede, gotovo u krugu. Svaka sa svojom tugom. Svaka sa svojom pričom. Sa svojim problemima. I jedna se trgne. Osmijeh na licu...strah u očima. Ustane se...zabacujući noge u koljenima. Sasvim lagano gurne vrata...i predvodi ih u pakao.

Pour the emerald wine
Into crystal glasses
We will touch the divine
Through kissed catharsis

Let us pitch to the seven-year itch
Of the ultra-decadent
To a tainted world and the painted girls
That our fantasies spent

Tripping through boudoirs laced with opiate themes
Sipping the bizarre, tasting copious dreams
A toast to those most sacrilegious of days
Where for every whim won
One soon repays

We touched the stars
That now laugh from afar
At we, the damned
The damned
The damned
The damned

We have spent our time
Drenched in opulent splendour
But when midnight chimes
Will gilded souls surrender?

Let us drink on the giddying brink
Of pools of excrement
All manner of shit for the glamour and glitz
Mephistopheles lent

I remember the night as if it were engraved
A bright marble bridge stretched across dark waves
To the shore from the moon and by Her grace
Came that erudite stranger
That fucker

He was a predator, creditor cold
Our blood was young on the yellowing scroll
And all that glittered was not gold
But we wanted everything
And for it all lost our souls

Come my friend, to fate let's raise
Two finger shots at this our last soiree
For tomorrow I fear
Swoops all too deadly near
This precipitous weir to Hell's high gate

We touched the stars
That now laugh from afar
At we, the damned
The damned
The damned
The damned

He was a predator, creditor cold
Our blood was young on the yellowing scroll
And all that glittered was not gold
But we wanted everything
And for it all lost our souls
Our souls



by : BEBACH {dahin, wo ich sie zu letzt gesehen}

30.05.2008. u 22:23 | 3 Komentara | Print | # | ^

LIKE AN ANGEL

Counting moments left behind
Seem so big now
Catching shadows of my memories
All together a few too much

Leaving tears as walking by
Crawling between feelings

Trying to remember your smile
Trying not to forget

Still hoping to feel your skin
Still praying to see your face again

So close…but so far away
If there was only something I could do
Feels like I’m leaving you behind
But I wanna turn away!

I remember what you said to me
If this happens, not to come
Maybe that’s the best
But hurts like hell

Knowing you’re laying there
And I’m just trying not to forget

The beauty of a grandma’s face

08.05.2008. u 22:50 | 16 Komentara | Print | # | ^

trees whisper of time...gone by

Let me tell you about my friend. He's very nice. He has a wonderful smile. Short, brown hair. He used to be one of my best friends. He was different. He always listened to me. But I noticed that he couldn't look me in the eyes. He'd look away. He made me smile. When I was sad, we listened to "Don't cry" together.
I miss him a lot.



Date written: unknown
Found as a lost memory.

Rekla mu je danas. Nakon šest mjeseci. Da sam ga voljela više od godinu dana. Da sam ga toliko voljela da sam se bojala prići mu. Da sam patila.
Rekao joj je danas. Nakon više od godinu dana. Da me volio više od šest mjeseci. Da mi nikad nije prišao jer je mislio da me nije dostojan. Da je patio.
Kad smo zamalo postali najbolji prijatelji, udaljili smo se. Nisam sigurna je li bilo namjerno.
Vidjela sam danas. Njegovu sliku. S drugom djevojkom. Nazvala me. Odmah kad je čula. Pitala me kako se osjećam. Ja sam se smijala.
Zašto je to toliko neshvatljivo?
Sviđa mi se. Kao prijatelj. I želim mu opet biti prijateljica. Jer smo imali nešto posebno. Očito ništa više od prijateljstva. Ali potencijalno divno prijateljstvo.

Rekla sam mu danas. Da ga odavno više ne volim. Da je bilo teško. Ali da ga više ne volim.
Pitao me je li mi jasno da više neće biti kao prije?
Rekla sam da ne mogu to prihvatiti.
Otišao je.
Poslije mi je ona rekla da je rekao da nije siguran može li mi biti samo prijatelj.
Da nije siguran voli li me još.

Ja sam sigurna. Da će mi nedostajati. Jer je divna osoba. Jer mu odavno više ne mogu biti ništa više od prijateljice.

Talk to me softly
There is something in your eyes
Don't hang your head in sorrow
And please don't cry
I know how you feel inside out
I've been there before
Somethin is changin' inside you
And don't you know


Don't you cry tonight
I still love you baby
Don't you cry tonight
Don't you cry tonight
There's a heaven above you baby
And don't you cry tonight


Give me a whisper
And give me a sight
Give me a kiss before you
tell me goodbye
Don't you take it so hard now
And please don't take it so bad
I'll still be thinkin' of you
And the times we had...baby


And don't you cry tonight
Don't you cry tonight
Don't you cry tonight
There's a heaven above you baby
And don't you cry tonight


And please remember that I never lied
And please remember
how I felt inside now honey
You gotta make it your own way
But you'll be alright now sugar
You'll feel better tomorrow
With the morning light now baby


And don't you cry tonight
And don't you cry tonight
And don't you cry tonight
There's a heaven above you baby
And don't you cry
Don't you ever cry
Don't you cry tonight
Baby maybe someday
Don't you cry
Don't you ever cry
Don't you cry
Tonight



by : BEBACH {long lost}

03.05.2008. u 00:39 | 6 Komentara | Print | # | ^

beyond the night

This one is for you for you
Only for you
Just give in to it never think again
I feel for you



I saw her walking towards the seat next to me. She rushed through the doors of the bus very angrily. I started wondering why she had those circles under her eyes? I wondered about the red spots on her underarms? I wondered about the cigarette she barely managed to light?
She was a rather pretty girl, actually.

Now, all gather your strings of power.
When the end comes, money means nothing.
Soon, we shall all be equal in front of the doors of hell.



Dare to believe.

One tear
I’ll make sure to show you these terrors I see
No words to say anymore
I’ll show you the pain and suffering
One moment – the flames on hate will take you
You know you can’t fight
If you’re an angry soul
Take it
The final offer
Cause you don’t know who might get you
Once you make up you mind, there’s no turning back
Take this life
You may not be strong enough to survive what waits for you




Ever felt away with me
Just once that all I need
Entwined in finding you one day

Ever felt away without me
My love, it lies so deep
Ever dream of me

Would you do it with me
Heal the scars and change the stars
Would you do it for me
Turn loose the heaven within

I'd take you away
Castaway on a lonely day
Bosom for a teary cheek
My song can but borrow your grace

Come out, come out wherever you are
So lost in your sea
Give in, give in for my touch
For my taste for my lust

Your beauty cascaded on me
In this white night fantasy



by : BEBACH {Ocean soul}

01.05.2008. u 15:33 | 4 Komentara | Print | # | ^

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Dnevnik.hr
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Komentari da/ne?

LINKOVI

wtf??
ne, niste pogriješili adresu
dobro, možda i jeste
ali sada je prekasno
ovdje ste na vlastitu odgovornost
za počinjene suicide ne odgovaram

abaut:

cijenjeno ime : Mateja
godine : 15
mjesto : STC metropola
škola : spogi
sport : tenis
zanimanje : klošar, metalac, profi pubertetlija
muzika : metal (bendovi na dnu boxeva)
kontakt : za msn se javite u komentarima (pričate sa mnom na vlastitu odgovornost)
mračna tajna : imam fetiš na časne sestre i u slobodno vrijeme ih vrebam ispred katedrale, koljem i mažnjavam odore


moj spejs

poznajem (il ne poznajem) :

drug dodo
raina astralia (bivša vila pustinje) - novi blog
pipo blog
illona
dedmenzbody (ramona)
teen spirit
snow white queen - moj najveći fan XD
daca
klinka naivna


RIP (fallen bloggers) - dragi ljudovi, više ne pišu blog
vila pustinje
bezimeni blog
kika
HC official drinker (Nel)
šinta
maggotsystem (geno)

"I run this world alone
A song stuck in my mind
Are you feeling alright?
Don't mind if you ask me once

Discover me like emptiness
A defense for a broken heart
Still offers a smile to the world betrayed...

Always close to the drop
Disappear with yesterday
Cure this dream that makes me fall

Blame me...
Escape me...
Well it's you who walked away
Tie me...
For my sake
To the dream that haunts you"




"Pour the emerald wine
Into crystal glasses
We will touch the divine
Through kisses catharsis

Let us pitch to the seven-year itch
Of the ultra-decadent
To a tainted world and the painted girls
That our fantasies spent

Tripping through boudoirs laced with opiate themes
Sipping the bizarre, tasting copious dreams
A toast to those most sacrilegious of days
Where for every whim won
One soon repays

We touched the stars
That now laugh from afar
At we, the damned
The damned
The damned
The damned

We have spent our time
Drenched in opulent splendour
But when midnight chimes
Will gilded souls surrender?

Let us drink on the giddying brink
Of pools of excrement
All manner of shit for the glamour and glitz
Mephistopheles lent

I remember the night as if it were engraved
A bright marble bridge stretched across the dark waves
To the shore from the moon and by her grace
Came that erudite stranger
That fucker

He was a predator, creditor cold
Our blood was shed on the yellowing scroll
And all that glittered was not gold
But we wanted everything
And for it all, lost our souls

Come my friend, to fate let's raise
Two finger shots at this our last soiree
For tomorrow I fear
Swoops all too deadly near
This precipitous weir to Hell's high gate"




"Hand of fate is moving and the finger points to you
He knocks you to your feet and so what are you gonna do
Your tongue has frozen now you've got something to say
The piper at the gates of dawn is calling you his way

You watch the world exploding every single night
Dancing in the sun a newborn in the light
Say goodbye to gravity and say goodbye to death
Hello to eternity and live for every breath

Your time will come"




"The razor caressed my flesh
and my arms turned red, I feel a vast desire
Years of pain are flowing down my arms.
Sweet, red, warm stream you drink, make me released
Give me your hand, let me make you feel the ease,
in the bed of razors we bleed together..."




"Don't turn away
I pray you've heard
The words I've spoken
Dare to believe
For one last time
And then I'll let the

Darkness cover me
Deny everything
Slowly walk away
To breathe again
On my own

Carry me away
I need your strength
To get me through this
Dare to believe
For one last time
And then I'll let the

Darkness cover me
Deny everything
Slowly walk away
To breathe again
On my own"




"When I was wandering in the desert and was searching for the truth .
I heard a choir of angels calling out my name.
I had the feeling that my life would never be the same again
I turned my face towards the barren sun.

And I know, of the pain, that you feel the same as me.
And I dream, of the rain, as it falls upon the leaves.
And the cracks, in our lives, like a cracks upon the ground.
They are sealed, and are now, washed away.

You tell me we can start the rain.
You tell me that we all can change.
You tell me we can find something to wash the tears away.
You tell me we can start the rain.
You tell me that we all can change.
You tell me we can find something to wash the tears."




"Lay beside me, tell me what they've done
Speak the words I wanna hear, to make my demons run
The door is locked now, but it's opened if you're true
If you can understand the me, then I can understand the you

Lay beside me, under wicked sky
Black of day, dark of night, we share this paralyze
The door cracks open, but there's no sun shining through
Black heart scarring darker still, but there's no sun shining through
No, there's no sun shining through
No, there's no sun shining

What I've felt, what I've known
Turn the pages, turn to stone
Behind the door, should I open it for you?

Yeah
What I've felt, what I've known
Sick and tired, I stand alone
Could you be there, 'cause I'm the one who waits for you
Or are you unforgiven too?

Come lay beside me, this won't hurt I swear
She loves me not, she loves me still, but she'll never love again
She lay beside me, but she'll be there when I'm gone
Black heart scarring darker still, but she'll be there when I'm gone
Yes she'll be there when I'm gone
Dead sure she'll be there"




"Fare thee well, little broken heart
Downcast eyes, lifetime loneliness

Whatever walks in my heart will walk alone

Constant longing for the perfect soul
Unwashed scenery forever gone

No love left in me
No eyes to see the heaven beside me
My time is yet to come
So I'll be forever yours"




"You're looking at me why
Sort of like a leper vibe
Okay for your kind
But it's too good for me

And a hey I know I'm
Never gonna qualify
For all the bullshit
Of your social degrees

Oh look down your noses at me
Hating my identity
Oh but that don't mean a damn thing you see
'Cause down here in hell everybody loves me

Hey I know I'm anti-social
'Cause you act like I'm infected
With some atrocity

And though I know I'm
Every bit the same inside
My face don't fit
It's like I've got some disease

Oh you keep your face turned away
To strip me of identity
Oh still got my fortune and fame
'Cause down here in Hell everyone knows my name"

ŠTA ME OGLUŠUJE OVIH DANA

cradle of filth

dimmu borgir
nightwish
sonata arctica
metallica
behemoth
ebony tears
children of bodom
apocalyptica
rammstein
disturbed
embrio
in flames
dissection
hladno pivo
djubrivo
amon amarth
iron maiden

sepultura
dismember
moonspell
CKY
stone sour
within temptation
stribog
judas priest
infernal tenebra
linkin park
SOAD
therion
breaking benjamin
alice cooper
my dying bride
mayhem
daemonia
blind guardian
dornenreich
manson
trivium
korn
tematorus