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Strange feelings in my mind...

Vaša Mrtva Spisateljica...
Ime:+Anamarija+
Nick:+Malena+
Datum rođenja:+19.7.1993+
Volim:+emocore+gothic stil+crnu,ljubičastu i bloody boju+mjesečinu+krv+paranormalne stvari+psihologiju+medicinu+
Hobi:+Pisanje+psihologija+
Uzor:+E.A.Poe+Anne Rice+
Škola:+SŠ Viktorovac Sisak+
Smjer:+Medicinska sestra+

My angel...






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Emo Quotes <3

The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.
I cry for the time that you were almost mine, I cry for the memories I've left behind, I cry for the pain, the lost, the old the new, I cry for the times I thought I had you
Not all scars show, not all wounds heal Sometimes you can't always see The pain someone feels
Whats the sense of wishing for something when I always just wish it away?
Every night i talk to the stars pretending its you.. it acts just like you tho.. far away and never replies to my questions
Why do people tell you to believe in what you want to but then tell you not to believe in the one true thing you do believe in?
Times a precious thing to waste, but friends are more precious
Kiss me im emo!
The sad truth is that most evil is done by people who never make up their minds to be good or evil.
The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom.
Do not assume that he who seeks to comfort you now, lives untroubled among the simple and quiet words that sometimes do you good. His life may also have much sadness and difficulty, that remains far beyond yours. Were it otherwise, he would never have been able to find these words.

Slike...<3/Emo poetry(www.emo-corner.com)/Gothic Poems

Our Love
Loves memory has traced our outline in this place.
But will the spider remember, or the sun?
Did the water capture our faces in permanence?
Does the wind create us anew as it blows?
Did the shadows from the trees record our passage beneath them?
Our secret been revealed.
Yet I have told no other.
I write these words in silence, in mute testimony
To what once was.
But our image remains alive in this place.
It can not be removed.
You, me,
We then,
Were here.
We saw the day and hoped for tomorrow.
We caught a brief glimpse of love's promise.
We were not liars,
But thieves of time.
For now time has now forgotten us,
Yet our memory lingers, and love remembers
This place that was ours.


Falling Away
I am bored with love
and it's passionless limbs
that drape over my bed
in a lethargic state of impotence
while wearing the same red heart
my soul picked up hitchhiking
off highway serendipity

Now here we are
alone in togetherness
trying to build dreams
with two by fours and glue,
but even a home
won't tie us together
when our hearts live alone

Poetic vows cliched
into nothingness
like all words do, eventually
and we allowed
our bodies to become
another pair of hollow shadows
that make love to a wall
instead of each other
and we wonder why
the roses are dying


Your Lies
Funny when things never change
Even when you say they will
But while your off s(rewing her
My life is standing still

You tell me that you love me
When I go to leave
You tell me I'm your only one
And I let myself believe

I know that you are using me
But you'll never let me go
I know that you don't love me
I know I'm just for show

I don't know If I can stand
To see you love another girl
You know that you broke my heart
You know that your my world

But while your standing by my side
I'll believe your lies forever
Cause everything seems so perfect
When we are together


Autumn Times
Autumn breeze frigidly touches ailing dreadful lives
Harshly darkness quietly surrounds the broken souls
Mellow serenades that once played between hearts
Pathetically have transformed into bitter sad songs

Somewhere beyond the flossy clouds
Cupid has lost his romancing arrows
Plays sad sonorous tunes on his bow
Dedicated to all weepy lonely hearts

Howling chilly wind blows through the mist
Sounds of sorrow spread allover the place
Fuzzy humid air submerges the inner lust
Lives decay slowly as the autumn leaves fall...

Emo-Corner.com - The place for emo guys and emo girls, emo hair, and emo music
Emo Girls


Emo-Corner.com - The place for emo guys and emo girls, emo hair, and emo music
Emo Girls


Emo-Corner.com - The place for emo guys and emo girls, emo hair, and emo music
Emo Girls


Emo-Corner.com - The place for emo guys and emo girls, emo hair, and emo music
Emo Girls


Emo-Corner.com - The place for emo guys and emo girls, emo hair, and emo music
Emo Icons


GOTHIC QUOTES <3<3<3

"what is it about the moonlight that draws my spirit in? The seduction? The stygian agony? I would give up my silber visions to know."
--------
"The agony in my eyes mirrors the moon light of my flawed soul"
--------
"Whay are my eyes so exquisite with poetry? And why do I no longer care?"
--------
"There is much darkness to be found in shadows.But you may need to sacrifice your silver mind to find it..."
--------
"The graveyards in my mind mirror the blood of my unliving purpose"
--------
"Why are my fears do tortured with solitude?And why do I no longer care?"
--------
"The graveyards in my existence mirror the moonlight of my obtenebrated solitude"
--------
"Why do we love death and the blood? My dear, you need only look into your own pain-filled soul to fine out"

GOTHIC POEMS

The Vampire

A man in dark from the east
prowels the night for blood to feast
he walks the streets from dusk till dawn
and doesnt even pass a yawn

this man is pale as though hes dead
his body cold from toe to head
his canines long and pearly white
he gives his victims no time to fight

a man came knocking on his door
he came at night to implore
he came and answers tried to find
he tried to unravel the creatures mind


he saw a coffin upon the floor
and found him self pinned to the door
he bared his neck and drank and drank
until to his knees the man had sank

their he knelt begging mercy please
and his clothes the vampire seized
he dragged him up upon his feet
and to his maker went to meet

I NEED NOT A REASON

The sky was filled with blood tonight
No wind a-blew
No smoke a-rose
But somewhere it seemed, d’it not seem right
Far below in nether
Across the seas a-feather
My life in thine
Mine heart in hand
A-top a raging storm a-stage
Sweet words flow from honey mouth
‘Tis not how they see me or hear
How dare thee speak when light doth shine
The light, it dote your saddened soul
A deciding decision in thine vast nothingness
How can one breathe when you are full of it?
Nothingness is, last of all
Only place to be filled or felt to rot
A hole in thine soul
It aches to desperation
But be three true
And stay thee noble
Fare not far, but search carefully
With a still learning heart
Thine spirit hath no where to turn but lust
A lust for love, is no love at all
But merely a pawn to castle in game
Then thee who nighly see
The truth of the dreams
What would one be
If one could not ponder
Unable to release a death-rising screech?

Black light in darkness

Sitting in darkness, around me just fear
You left me behind, you are not here.
I am full of questions that are making me insane
Maybe you can hear me, but I still feel just pain...

A black light is all that I can see
Just want it to stop, don't want it to be
I'm telling to myself- this can't be real
Is it my life that you had to steal?

And now I know that you played with me
Now I feel it, now I see
The shit that I went through because of you
You played with me and I had no clue

Black light shine on me...
Black light be here with me...
Black light take him away...
Black light stay...

DARK BLOOD BEAUTIES

In your hands,
We form the bonds
Together we shall die
No one can even lie

Fallen beauties of eden
Never even forgotten
But not begotten
In the eyes rotten

We shall be together
It shall be forever
No one will bother
Our love will gather

In the shadow
We shall wallow
In the high and low
Not even tomorrow

The end of light
We shall fight
With you my might
We shall have height

We never bend
We shall make amend
Gaia we shall tend
Till the end

PAIN
Pain is
hidden.
Not something
i share
with the
world.

It made
me what i am
today.

selfconcious.
scared.
hurt.
tears.

i cant be
me because
of the pain.

i want to
be free.
every thing
that happens
justs adds
another hole
to my already
damaged heart.

my pain is
like acid
its burns.

its toxic.
bottled
up and
stored to
keep everyone
from seeing
its true power.

im full of
toxic waste.
it runs through
my veins.
my heart.
my mind.
leaving a
mark where ever
it goes.

always stored.
my pain.
never shown.
kept to myself.

no one knows
the real me.
The me that
hurts inside.
they all think
im happy.
they will never
know the truth.

im hurt.
and ill say it.
but no one
can feel my
pain.
it belongs to
me.
it created
me.

Pain is who i am.

Nightmare

Its half past midnight
So dark except for the moon light
Walking through ‘can see graves afar
Looking up ‘can perceive the nebula neath a star

The air’s filled with a horrible atmosphere
Isolation and fear possesses the earth’s sphere
The vegetation’s dominated by deadly arbour
All these I perceive at this witching hour of horror.

As I proceed, the air gets hazy
Sense a creature afar and I get pacy
I took a close look
Not long how long it took.

Hear the sound of nocturnal creepers
Totter left ‘n’ right, a thorny branch hooked my zippers
Like unleashing the contents of Pandora’s Box
Behold I perceive a ferocious fox.

Think I see this creature again
A chimera, I try to make the best bargain
Run eastward as fast as I can
Seems to catch ‘spite the pace I ran.

I run southward which seems an advantage
Must escape this barbarous savage
But then in sight I see a creeping creature
Out of a graveyard I assumed a pasture.

Then I’m attacked by this ferocious beast
I surrender myself a wholesome feast
Look downwards and I see nothing but doom
Ah! It was a dream I heaved as I woke in my room.

IN YOUR ARMS

Hold me, my love,
Just one more,
Just to feel again your warm touch
Kiss me, again, my love
I want to taste your soft lips, again
Bite me,
I want to taste your sweet blood
Just one more,
Embrace me, again
‘cause in your arms I feel so safe
my angel, stay with me tonight
don’t leave me alone
share with me with this beautiful night,
oh my dear love, even words can’t describe how beautiful you are
when I am looking into your eyes, I see peace and joy
from that moment I know that you are my true love
oh, my love, how beautiful you are
after all this years I have lived I have never seen someone who had good heart
in your arms I feel safety and warm
when you embrace me I feel like I am in the heaven with you

Image and video hosting by TinyPic


HappyB-day my love... <3
srijeda, 30.07.2008.

Darkmanu je danas ročkas...<3
Željela sam mu dati nešto više od onog dara što sam mu poslala...Ali nažalost to ne mogu ostvariti...Nemogu biti s njim danas...Ne mogu mu ispuniti jedinu želju za koju znam da mu je jedna od najvećih...
Ali...Nadam se daće se i ta želja jednom ostvariti...

"My love...I'm blessed coz you love me...<3"


Long before you came I knew
Somehow life would bring me you
Long before you spoke my name
I believe you knew I missed you

I love you more than words can say
I love you, there's no other way

For the first time in my life
I am someone great
For the first time i've come home
I have found my faith
I believe it when I see you smile
That I'm blessed
I'm blessed, I am
I'm truly blessed

I believe it when I see you smile
That I'm blessed
I'm blessed, I am

For all the nights to come notherways you'll be inside my heart
Always

For the first time in my life
I am someone great
For the first time i've come home
I have found my faith
I believe it when I see you smile
That I'm blessed
I'm blessed, I am

I am someone great
For the first time i've come home
I have found my faith
I believe it when I see you smile
That I'm blessed
I'm blessed, I am
I'm truly blessed



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Pentagram...<3
ponedjeljak, 21.07.2008.

Dakle...Mnogi povezuju pentagram sa Sotonom,Luciferom,Satanom,kako god ga vi nazvali...Ali ja sam si dala truda i stavila neke primjere da to nije istina...
Ako se pentagram nalazi u krugu, onda je to Pentacle ( čitaj Pentakl ) a ne Pentagram.

PENTAGRAM OKRENUT PREMA GORE
Ovaj Pentagram predstavlja nematerijalno koje vlada materijalnim tj. duhovno i božansko koje vlada zemaljskim. Svaki vrh Pentagrama predstavlja jedan elemet: duh, zemlja, vatra, voda i zrak ( vidi sliku!- simboli su poredani obrnuto kazaljci na satu : Spiritus,Earth,Fire,Water,Air.). Ovo je razlog zašto se ovaj Pentagram koristi radi zaštite od zla i demona. Vjerovali ili ne, ovaj se Pentagram koristio i u kršćanskoj religiji! Predstavljao je Boga i njegovu vladavinu nad Zemljom i čovjekom. Pet krakova su predstavljali pet Isusovih rana.



AGRIPPIN PENTAGRAM
Ovaj je simbol navodno snažna zaštitu protiv svih zlih utjecaja i sila. Onom tko ga nosi pomaže da otkrije vlastitu vrijednost i da nađe unutrašnji mir, sreću i zadovoljstvo. Agrippin pentagram (ime dobio po slavnom srednjovjekovnom alkemičaru H. K. Agrippi od Neteshajma) predstavlja golog muškarca čijih je pet ugaonih točaka - glava, ruke i noge. Ostalo je nerazjašnjeno što razapeti čovjek zapravo predstavlja - je li to on obgrlio svijet, je li povezan sa ‘kotačem života’ ili prikazuje sv. Pavla okovanog u lanac ljubavi i Božje mudrosti. U svakom slučaju, pentagram slikovito nagovještava povezanost čovjeka i mikrokozmosa čovjekova svijeta koji je, po učenju hermetičara, refleksija makrokozmosa, odnosno univerzuma. Jer, spoznati čovjekov mikrokozmos znači istodobno spoznaju i makrokozmosa i tajni postojanja

(Agrippin Pentagram)

Iako,neki tupan je smislio "obrnuti" pentagram koji je postao simbolom zla,iako ga mnogi(a među njima i ja) ne smatraju takvim...


PREDSTAVLJAM VAM JOŠ NEKE SIMBOLE...
ANKH-Egipatski križ koji simbolizira vječan život, ponovno rođenje i životnu snagu sunca. Predstavljao je ključ za život poslije smrti, besmrtnost. Služi kao podsjetnik, da je život na Zemlji samo jedan od oblika postojanosti, da smo svi vječna bića.
Kao hijeroglif, predstavlja maternicu-simbol života
GOTIČKI KRIŽ-Značenje križa je vrlo slojevit pojam. Osim što predstavlja Kristovo uskrsnuće(uskriženje), on simbolizira Zemlju po horizontalnoj, i Nebo po vertikalnoj osi, tj. simbol komunikacije Neba i Zemlje. Ukoliko ga okružuje krug, on predstavlja "veliko kolo života" i sunčevu energiju. Gotički križ je poznat po ornamentima na njegovim krajevima.
YIN YANG-predstavlja taoističku (kinesku) sliku sveopće harmonije i jedinstva između svih suprotnosti. Yin je taman i pasivan, a Yang aktivan i pozitivan.
GARGOYLE-ornament groteskne, uklesane figure čovjeka ili životinje. Često korišten ornament na gotičkim katedralama.
Na katoličkim crkvama je korišten, kako bi ne-kršćane potaknulo da se preobrate na kršćanstvo

Vaša

Mrtva Spisateljica

(Ako itko zna kako staviti zaštitu protiv kopiranja sadržaja bloga,neka mi kaže...tnx..)



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Happy Birthday to me...
subota, 19.07.2008.

Da..Danas mi je ročkas...Darkman je upravo javio da se malo istrošio pa se ljutim na njega.Rekla sam mu da mi ne treba ništa kupovati i da mi je dovoljno što me voli.
Ovako...Što se tiće toga jesam li ja emo ili nisam...Ja jesam emo cura.A to što mislim da su svi emachi prerasli misli o samoubojstvu i rezanju ne znači da nisam emo.A takva glupa razmišljanja molim zadržite za sebe(posebno jedna blogerica)...Ispričavam se što sam otresita i pomalo gruba,ali mi je dosta da me neki ljudi kritiziraju na blogu,a nemaju pojma o meni.Da to radi neki bloger koji me zna,npr. Nela,Bene ili Ratko,onda bih to podnjela.Ovako to NE podnosim.
Ja ne kritiziram druge na blogovima,samo iznosim svoje mišljenje,a ne namećem ga.A to što drugi misle da su najpametniji na svijetu i da su emo ako su se rezali ili pokušali ubiti,to nije moja briga.Ja ZNAM što je emocore...Nitko drugi me ne može uvjeriti da ne znam...Zato i ne pokušavajte...Osobito ako ste emach koji ne zna tko je Alex Evans ili što je straight edge...Ne zanimate me...U redu?

Još jednom se ispričavam...

Vaša

Mrtva Spisateljica



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Novi stihovi slomljenih misli...
četvrtak, 10.07.2008.

Praznoća mojih ruku...Zvjezdana prašina na mojim dlanovima...

Rasplinulo se jutro u noći...
Zlaćani...Bakreni sjaj na obzoru...
Svjetlost je progutala mrak...
Njegova ljubav me dotakla...
Zavela svojim hladnim besmrtnim dahom...
Jer je on jedino biće koje je iznad mrtvih...

Osjećam se živom jer me boli,
Ta praznoća mojih ruku...
Sve za čime žudim je nešto što ne mogu imati...
Volim ga...
Sanjam da je uz mene...
Pokušavaju mi uzeti snove,
Kažu da nije dobro sanjati...

Voljet ću ga zauvijek...
Stvarat ću njegov zvjezdani lik noćima,
Da tada mi bude utjeha u mraku...
Prestat ću disati,
Kada shvatim da su se vrata njegovog srca za mene zatvorila...

Svanula je još jedna zora...
Još jedno jutro bez njegovog zagrljaja...
Poželim pobjeći tamo gdje je on,
A kada suton padne bit ću u njegovim rukama...
Baš kako je i poželio...

Stvaram ga u iluzijama...
Grlim ga...Ljubim...
Dok se ne pretvori u svjetlucavi prah na mojim rukama...
Zvijezdana prašina na mojim dlanovima...

Moj jedan jedini...
Padam na koljena
Bez daha...
Padam na koljena zbog njegovog strastvenog pogleda,
I dižem se poput feniksa za jedan poljubac sa njegovih savrsenih usana ...

Zatvorena u mislima...
Osjećam njegove usne na svojima...
Zavodljivo i strastveno isprepleo se u mojim snovima...
Okrutno prenuta iz sna oči privikavam na svjetlost...
A onda je više nema...
Jer njega nema...



***
Tnx Ratku na pomoći oko pjesme...Stavljam ga pod autora...hh...
Written by Ratko i Mrtva Spisateljica



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New song from my nightmare...
utorak, 08.07.2008.

Biti daleko od toga tako dugo...Nastavi samo disati...Sve će biti u redu...

Drži me živote moj,
Ne daj mi da odem...
Biti daleko od toga toliko dugo je mučno i teško...
Ne slijedite me večeras...
Mnogo za to je razloga...

Zemljin prah guta Sunce...
Krvavo...Mlado...Blještavo...
U ovu zoru gdje nitko ne vidi početak nečeg novog...
Srušila sam samu sebe...
Daleko...
Izgubila sam vjeru da to moram dati njemu...

Sivilo...
Možda su svi bili u pravu...
Možda zaista nisam dovoljno dobra...
Moje srce je izmučeno i ranjeno...
Krvari u tvojim rukama....
Osjećam se malaksalo i slabo...
Bez ijedne riječi odlazim daleko od toga....

Ne mogu tebi reči „NE“...
Ja...Ne mogu reći ne ovome što osjećam...
Ali ne mogu dopustiti da me uništi to od čega sam udaljena...
Umorna sam od kraja i besciljnih početaka...
Ovog puta...Na ovome mjestu...
Vrijeme je da shvatim koji od njih će poći zamnom...

Tko će poći zamnom kada se prepustim snovima?
Koji od njih će odustati od drugih za mene?
Koji od njih će odgovoriti na moje pozive?
Tko će me voditi prema onome od čega sam udaljena?
Koga ću vidjeti kako me drži za ruku?

Nastavi disati...To govorim samoj sebi...
Prepustila sam se plimi...
Neka me vodi u mračne Tartarske odaje...
Neka me vodi daleko od svega...
Da ne vidim više nikada Mjesec od bjelokosti...
Ni srce od kobalta...

Tražim izlaz...
Ne želim se boriti za nešto od čega sam udaljena...
Tako žedna realnih stvari...
Tako izgubljena u ništavilu...
Stojim sama na ulici i plačem za nečim dalekim...
Suze se pretvaraju u bisere...
Nižu se u oglicu...
Nosit ću je...
Tešku poput negvi...
Milijun puta sam pomislila da ne mogu pustiti snove da nestanu...
A sada su se rasplinuli i nestali u magli...
Da padnem bi bilo previše jednolično i ponovljena prošlost...
Dotakni mi lice...Ti si onaj koji je čuo moje pozive...

Ostavili ste me da čekam ludeći u praznoći....
A teško je izgovoriti ime onoga što je daleko...
Prije nisam odustajala...
Voljela sam cijelo vrijeme...
Sanjala sam da ćeš biti samnom jednom...

Zvijezda padalica je pala...
Uglasila se u mojim očima...
Opraštam onome što je daleko...
Opraštam ti LJUBAVI...



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You are too far and I can't reach you...My black angel...
petak, 04.07.2008.



Nekada je tako u životu zar ne?Neka osoba je predaleko,a teško je shvatiti da su nam ruke prekratke da bi ih dosegnuli...
Slušam pjesmu Somebody's me od Enriquea Iglesiasa...Znam...Svi će reći da to nije stil jedne emachice...Recimo da tu pjesmu shvaćam kao "latino emocore"...Hahahaha...Evo vam tekst...

ENRIQUE IGLESIAS-SOMEBODY'S ME
You, do you remember me?,
Like, I remember you?
Do you spend your life, going back in your mind to that time?,
Cause I, I walk the streets alone,
I hate being on my own, and everyone can see that,
I really fell, and I'm going through hell.
Thinking about you with somebody else.

Somebody wants you,
Somebody needs you.
Somebody dreams about you every single night.
Somebody cant breathe, without you it's lonely.
Somebody hopes that one day you will see, that somebody's me.
That somebody's me. yeaa...

How, how did we go wrong?
It was so good, and now it's gone,
And I pray at night, that our path's soon will cross.
What we had, isn't lost.
Cause you are always right here in my thoughts..

Somebody wants you,
Somebody needs you.

Somebody dreams about you every single night.
Somebody can't breathe, without you it's lonely.
Somebody hopes that someday you will see,
That somebody's me. Oh yeah...

You will always be in my life, even if im not in your life.
Cause you're in my memory...

You, when you remember me?...
And before you set me free, oh listen please...

Somebody wants you,
Somebody needs you.
Somebody dreams about you every single night.
Somebody cant breathe, without you it's lonely.
Somebody hopes that someday you will see, that somebody's me.
That somebody's me.
Somebody's me...
That somebody's me...
That somebody's me...
Oh yeah...

Trenutno nemam inspiracije za pisanje...Darkmanu je umro frend koji je prije nekoliko dana doživio automobilsku nesreću...Strah me da ne izgubim Darkmana onakvog kakvog ga pamtim kada smo se prvi put upoznali...Veselog...Duhovitog...Mog mračnog Edwarda Cullena koji je za razliku od drugih za mene uvijek imao nešto lijepo za reći...Daleko smo...I to je njemu dovoljno bolno...Još i sad ova tragedija...Kao da donosim nesreću svim osobama do kojih mi je imalo stalo...

Ali znam da moram biti snažna zbog njega...Koliko god ga sada trebala znam da mora najprije sam sebi reći da je vrijeme da nastavi dalje...A ako me potraži,ja ću nastaviti s njim...Znam da on treba mene...

Uskoro vam se javim s novom pričom ili pjesmom...Obečajem...Nisam napravila blog da bih na njemu izražavala ono što se događa...Ali osjetila sam potrebu danas da to učinim...

Vaša

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