just keep walking....and breathe.
24.01.2007., srijeda
Svima vama tamo negdje. Aha. E da, pada snijeg.
“There's a time and a place for getting fucked up the night before midterms and it's called college”~ Oscar Wilde on college “A man once asked me if I had gone to college. I replied, "I'll be asking the questions around here!" and proceeded to impale him with a yard stick and skull fuck him till the cops came.” ~ Santa on college College is also known as a guaranteed one-way ticket to personal and financial success in later life. Research has shown that a matriculated student with a baccalaureate degree may spend as little as two years in therapy to stop crying uncontrollably on a daily basis. Also, students with a graduate school education have been known to accrue under $15000 in debt while looking desperately for a meager shipping job, and to get by with their parents supplying as little as 20% of their postgraduate expenses once finally employed. Clearly, higher education has blessed the planet with tremendous prosperity and happiness. Of his college years, 38-year-old Phil Longsley of the University of Maryland offers the following account: ˝Man, I'm telling you, that was some crazy shit back then. Everybody was fucking. I had like seven chicks blow me at the same time, while I snorted a line of coke off an eighth one's ass. God, that was great. Oh yeah, and I think there was like, books and things.˝ Christy White, 51, of Kent State, relates a very different college experience: ˝Amidst the twin banners of a burning flag and a burning bra--the symbols of our enslavement to the American ideals of violence and oppression--we violently oppressed the Man, tearing away his smiling facade, and revealing the power elite for the hate-mongerers they really were. They were all hypocrites, and we hated them for it. No more war! No more America! No more lingerie! We ushered in a new era in which this country would never again send its soldiers needlessly into war for unclear reasons, never again treat women as sex objects, never again try to justify crimes with patriotism, never again placate the masses with the politics of fear, never again try to sell us leopard-print panties, never again do anything bad, ever!˝ Whereas Misty Carmine, 23, of Northern Kentucky Bible College, says: ˝Oh, it was wonderful! The professors were really accessible, the people were all very fun to be with, and I learned a lot about my personal relationship with Jesus! Did you know that he was a carpenter, and he made fishes and loaves come out of nowhere? How cool is that! It makes me want to squeal a girly squeal! Eep!˝ Dick Studman, 20, the starting quarterback for Southern North Dakota University of Florida, says: ˝Huh? What classes am I taking? Ummm...Fishing?˝ |
