My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
You can only cure retail but you can prevent .
Man is distinguished from all other creatures by the faculty of laughter.
Results! Why, man, I have gotten a lot of results. I know several thousand things that won't work.
Greatness is more than potential. It is the execution of that potential. Beyond the raw talent. You need the appropriate training. You need the discipline. You need the inspiration. You need the drive.
Learning to live in the present moment is part of the path of joy.
At a dinner party one should eat wisely but not too well, and talk well but not too wisely.
I'm moving, but don't worry! Someone once told me we're all on the same planet, so I'll be okay!
Self-importance is our greatest enemy. Think about it - what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellowmen. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone.
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
The most important thing she'd learned over the years was that there was no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.
I like coincidences. They make me wonder about destiny, and whether free will is an illusion or just a matter of perspective. They let me speculate on the idea of some master plan that, from time to time, we're allowed to see out of the corner of our eye.
Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist.
Vegetarianism is harmless enough, though it is apt to fill a man with wind and self-righteousness.
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
If you would thoroughly know anything, teach it to others.
My home is not a place, it is people.
Art is science made clear.
His priority did not seem to be to teach them what he knew, but rather to impress upon them that nothing, not even... knowledge, was foolproof.
Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't.
I nearly fell again, but new hands grabbed me from in front and dragged me down a steel floor and then forced me to my knees and locked my hands to something behind me.
All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring.
Learning to live in the present moment is part of the path of joy.
To try to be better is to be better.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Keep cool and you command everybody.
You can't just ask customers what they want and then try to give that to them. By the time you get it built, they'll want something new.
I don't own a cell phone or a pager. I just hang around everyone I know, all the time. If someone wants to get a hold of me, they just say 'Mitch,' and I say 'what?' and turn my head slightly.
My philosophy is that not only are you responsible for your life, but doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.
I cried out and my own voice was muffled by the hood.
Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.
I heard Jolu respond, then felt the thump he was dealt, too.
Part of being creative is learning how to protect your freedom. That includes freedom from avarice.
Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.
He who will not reason is a bigot; he who cannot is a fool; and he who dares not is a slave.
Nothing is as simple as we hope it will be.
Everything of importance has been said before by somebody who did not discover it.
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.
I wanted to flag you down because my friend was bleeding. Someone stabbed him."
It is a paradoxical but profoundly true and important principle of life that the most likely way to reach a goal is to be aiming not at that goal itself but at some more ambitious goal beyond it.
Oh, I don't blame Congress. If I had $600 billion at my disposal, I'd be irresponsible, too.
I heard them shouting through the muffling canvas of the bag, and then I was being impersonally hauled to my feet by my wrists, my arms wrenched up behind my back, my shoulders screaming.
How we remember, what we remember and why we remember form the most personal map of our individuality.
Over the years your bodies become walking autobiographies, telling friends and strangers alike of the minor and major stresses of your lives.
If you refuse to be made straight when you are green, you will not be made straight when you are dry.
Listen. Do not have an opinion while you listen because frankly, your opinion doesn?t hold much water outside of Your Universe. Just listen. Listen until their brain has been twisted like a dripping towel and what they have to say is all over the floor.
How could you be a Great Man if history brought you no Great Events, or brought you to them at the wrong time, too young, too old?
As a scientist, I am not sure anymore that life can be reduced to a class struggle, to dialectical materialism, or any set of formulas. Life is spontaneous and it is unpredictable, it is magical. I think that we have struggled so hard with the tangible that we have forgotten the intangible.
Never despair; but if you do, work on in despair.
Work saves us from three great evils: boredom, vice and need.
The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself.
You have no control over what the other guy does. You only have control over what you do.
If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich.
We are always in search of the redeeming formula, the crystallizing thought.
Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs.
When I came back to Dublin I was courtmartialed in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.
There are admirable potentialities in every human being. Believe in your strength and your youth. Learn to repeat endlessly to yourself, 'It all depends on me.'
While we have the gift of life, it seems to me that only tragedy is to allow part of us to die - whether it is our spirit, our creativity, or our glorious uniqueness.
The man who has nothing to boast of but his illustrious ancestry is like the potato - the best part under ground.
It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for subtlety.
The people who are regarded as moral luminaries are those who forego ordinary pleasures themselves and find compensation in interfering with the pleasures of others.
College isn't the place to go for ideas.
Terrorists killed a lot fewer people than bathroom falls and accidental electrocutions.
Never rely on the glory of the morning nor the smiles of your mother-in-law.
Never part without loving words to think of during your absence. It may be that you will not meet again in life.
We learn something every day, and lots of times it's that what we learned the day before was wrong.
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
Think of yourself as an incandescent power, illuminated and perhaps forever talked to by God and his messengers.
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule - and both commonly succeed, and are right.
The engine died and then the doors swung open.
I have often wished I had time to cultivate modesty... But I am too busy thinking about myself.
He who boasts of his ancestry is praising the deeds of another.
Nothing changes your opinion of a friend so surely as success - yours or his.
Never read a book through merely because you have begun it.
When you want to believe in something, you also have to believe in everything that's necessary for believing in it.
He will always be a slave who does not know how to live upon a little.
There are sadistic scientists who hurry to hunt down errors instead of establishing the truth.
Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.
Our lives teach us who we are.
The car skidded to a stop just in front of me, and I jumped back and lost my balance and ended up on the road.
Use what you have to run toward your best - that's how I now live my life.
He who boasts of his ancestry is praising the deeds of another.
If you refuse to be made straight when you are green, you will not be made straight when you are dry.
It's the soul's duty to be loyal to its own desires. It must abandon itself to its master passion.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
Turn the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles.
Depend not on fortune, but on conduct.
A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.
Nothing contributes so much to tranquilizing the mind as a steady purpose - a point on which the soul may fix its intellectual eye.
Sooner or later, we've got to work at it, no matter how many other careers we've had or wanted.
Now is the time for all good men to come to.
Have patience awhile; slanders are not long-lived. Truth is the child of time; erelong she shall appear to vindicate thee.
Someone dragged me by my arms out onto the road, then shoved me, stumbling, down a paved road.
I nearly fell again, but new hands grabbed me from in front and dragged me down a steel floor and then forced me to my knees and locked my hands to something behind me.
The art of war is simple enough. Find out where your enemy is. Get at him as soon as you can. Strike him as hard as you can, and keep moving on.
Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside. Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.
Why do writers write? Because it isn't there.
We don't get offered crises, they arrive.
Good taste is the enemy of comedy.
O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet.
As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so life well used brings happy death.
Your parents, they give you your life, but then they try to give you their life.
You don't get anything clean without getting something else dirty.
By the time I'd grown up, I naturally supposed that I'd be grown up.
What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog.
Cheerfulness, it would appear, is a matter which depends fully as much on the state of things within, as on the state of things without and around us.
Howard Hughes was able to afford the luxury of madness, like a man who not only thinks he is Napoleon but hires an army to prove it.
There are more tears shed over answered prayers than over unanswered prayers.
The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive.
There is a tragic flaw in our precious Constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.
Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it.
Everyone wants to be Cary Grant. Even I want to be Cary Grant.
There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way.
Every moment of one's existence one is growing into more or retreating into less.
With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.
I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the last one left.
A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.
Depend not on fortune, but on conduct.
Let me tell you, quite frankly, it took a while and a lot of therapy to get here.
I must create a system, or be enslaved by another man's.
My friends are my estate.
The more freedom we enjoy, the greater the responsibility we bear, toward others as well as ourselves.
I never met anybody who said when they were a kid, "I wanna grow up and be a critic."
We play the hands of cards life gives us. And the worst hands can make us the best players.
Good company and good discourse are the very sinews of virtue.
The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.
I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the last one left.
Resolve to edge in a little reading every day, if it is but a single sentence. If you gain fifteen minutes a day, it will make itself felt at the end of the year.
You can't just ask customers what they want and then try to give that to them. By the time you get it built, they'll want something new.
There are several good protections against temptations, but the surest is cowardice.
Never be a cynic, even a gentle one. Never help out a sneer, even at the devil.
More movement, and the sense of bodies being shackled in alongside of me.
The only thing that saves us from the bureaucracy is inefficiency. An efficient bureaucracy is the greatest threat to liberty.
What can you say about a society that says that God is dead and Elvis is alive?
Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't.
Typos are very important to all written form. It gives the reader something to look for so they aren't distracted by the total lack of content in your writing.
I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me they are wonderful things for other people to go on.
I have often wished I had time to cultivate modesty... But I am too busy thinking about myself.
It's not the hours you put in your work that counts, it's the work you put in the hours.
So quick and so fiercely I barely had time to gasp before it was locked on me.
It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.
He who will not reason is a bigot; he who cannot is a fool; and he who dares not is a slave.
Do not weep; do not wax indignant. Understand.
The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said.
The secret of greatness is simple: do better work than any other man in your field - and keep on doing it.
Censorship, like charity, should begin at home; but, unlike charity, it should end there.
If you refuse to be made straight when you are green, you will not be made straight when you are dry.
One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.
Resolve to edge in a little reading every day, if it is but a single sentence. If you gain fifteen minutes a day, it will make itself felt at the end of the year.
My eyes swam and watered and I literally couldn't breathe through the pain.
We require from buildings two kinds of goodness: first, the doing their practical duty well: then that they be graceful and pleasing in doing it.
He who boasts of his ancestry is praising the deeds of another.
We are always in search of the redeeming formula, the crystallizing thought.
The pain of making the necessary sacrifices always hurts more than you think it's going to. I know. It sucks. That being said, doing something seriously creative is one of the most amazing experiences one can have, in this or any other lifetime. If you can pull it off, it's worth it. Even if you don't end up pulling it off, you'll learn many incredible, magical, valuable things. It's NOT doing it when you know you full well you HAD the opportunity- that hurts FAR more than any failure.
I ran the wrong kind of business, but I did it with integrity.
Think of life as a terminal illness, because, if you do, you will live it with joy and passion, as it ought to be lived.
It is fortunate to be of high birth, but it is no less so to be of such character that people do not care to know whether you are or are not.
When someone does something good, applaud! You will make two people happy.
If you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else.
The world tolerates conceit from those who are successful, but not from anybody else.
I gathered we were headed over Nob Hill, and from the angle, it seemed we were taking one of the steeper routes.
I define comfort as self-acceptance. When we finally learn that self-care begins and ends with ourselves, we no longer demand sustenance and happiness from others.
I was sick of cars driving right past me.
Books...are like lobster shells, we surround ourselves with 'em, then we grow out of 'em and leave 'em behind, as evidence of our earlier stages of development.
Get away from the crowd when you can. Keep yourself to yourself, if only for a few hours daily.
In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted.
Feet, why do I need them if I have wings to fly?
It is never too late to give up our prejudices.
The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one.
It is hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your head.
Summer afternoon - Summer afternoon... the two most beautiful words in the English language.
With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.
The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them.
To repeat what others have said, requires education; to challenge it, requires brains.
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
When everyone is against you, it means that you are absolutely wrong-- or absolutely right.
Arguments are to be avoided; they are always vulgar and often convincing.
One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.
Our lives teach us who we are.
Keep cool and you command everybody.
When you make a mistake, don't look back at it long. Take the reason of the thing into your mind and then look forward. Mistakes are lessons of wisdom. The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power.
Is love supposed to last throughout all time, or is it like trains changing at random stops. If I loved her, how could I leave her? If I felt that way then, how come I don't feel anything now?
Never let the demands of tomorrow interfere with the pleasures and excitement of today.
Lack of money is no obstacle. Lack of an idea is an obstacle.
If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich.
People fail forward to success.
God creates men, but they choose each other.
Nobody is ever met at the airport when beginning a new adventure. It's just not done.
Wit makes its own welcome, and levels all distinctions. No dignity, no learning, no force of character, can make any stand against good wit.
A fine quotation is a diamond on the finger of a man of wit, and a pebble in the hand of a fool.
Misquotations are the only quotations that are never misquoted.
America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.
Health consists of having the same diseases as one's neighbors.
I used to believe that marriage would diminish me, reduce my options. That you had to be someone less to live with someone else when, of course, you have to be someone more.
Keep cool and you command everybody.
Whenever evil befalls us, we ought to ask ourselves, after the first suffering, how we can turn it into good. So shall we take occasion, from one bitter root, to raise perhaps many flowers.
A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.
None are so busy as the fool and knave.
Turbulence is life force. It is opportunity. Let's love turbulence and use it for change.
The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
The happiest is the person who suffers the least pain; the most miserable who enjoys the least pleasure.
The Americans have need of the telephone, but we do not. We have plenty of messenger boys.
My home is not a place, it is people.
Sometimes love will pick you up by the short hairs...and jerk the heck out of you.
You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.
A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.
I don't believe in intuition. When you get sudden flashes of perception, it is just the brain working faster than usual. But you've been getting ready to know it for a long time, and when it comes, you feel you've known it always.
We have really everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language.
Never make a defense or an apology until you are accused.
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
I cannot believe that the inscrutable universe turns on an axis of suffering; surely the strange beauty of the world must somewhere rest on pure joy!
A tactical retreat is not a bad response to a surprise assault, you know. First you survive. Then you choose your own ground. Then you counterattack.
Better by far you should forget and smile than you should remember and be sad.
Work saves us from three great evils: boredom, vice and need.
Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed.
Van's sweater was soaked in blood.
I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling, I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.
We don't get offered crises, they arrive.
Liberals are very broadminded: they are always willing to give careful consideration to both sides of the same side.
There were millions of ways that the world could kill me.
Therefore search and see if there is not some place where you may invest your humanity.
Maybe the most any of us can expect of ourselves isn't perfection but progress.
My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of the pessimists.
It is fortunate to be of high birth, but it is no less so to be of such character that people do not care to know whether you are or are not.
The first precept was never to accept a thing as true until I knew it as such without a single doubt.
Deeds, not words shall speak me.
I define comfort as self-acceptance. When we finally learn that self-care begins and ends with ourselves, we no longer demand sustenance and happiness from others.
Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.
Have patience awhile; slanders are not long-lived. Truth is the child of time; erelong she shall appear to vindicate thee.
It?s like your batteries get low, and you need to charge them on someone else?s story.
There ain't no free lunches in this country. And don't go spending your whole life commiserating that you got raw deals. You've got to say, 'I think that if I keep working at this and want it bad enough I can have it.'
All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors.
A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.
Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself and know that everything in this life has a purpose.
Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
Van was screaming something and Jolu was shouting and I looked at them for a second and that was when someone put a coarse.
I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours.
Life is a great big canvas; throw all the paint on it you can.
You can't separate peace from freedom because no one can be at peace unless he has his freedom.
At the mention of the word mace, the guy looked scared and kind of melted back, though the crowd kept him moving forward.
Order is not pressure which is imposed on society from without, but an equilibrium which is set up from within.
The real hero is always a hero by mistake; he dreams of being an honest coward like everybody else.
A mother is not a person to lean on but a person to make leaning unnecessary.
I ended up stepping on her stomach as the crowd pushed me past her, but by then I don't think she was feeling anything.
It is not enough to aim; you must hit.
What children take from us, they give?We become people who feel more deeply, question more deeply, hurt more deeply, and love more deeply.
There are several good protections against temptations, but the surest is cowardice.
Newspapermen learn to call a murderer 'an alleged murderer' and the King of England 'the alleged King of England' to avoid libel suits.
I daresay one profits more by the mistakes one makes off one's own bat than by doing the right thing on somebody's else advice.
Whatever you fear most has no power - it is your fear that has the power.
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