Good soldiers never pass up a chance to eat or sleep. They never know how much they'll be called on to do before the next chance.
I wrote myself a check for ten million dollars for acting services rendered and dated it Thanksgiving 1995. I put it in my wallet and it deteriorated. And then, just before Thanksgiving 1995, I found out I was going to make ten million dollars for Dumb & Dumber. I put that check in the casket with my father because it was our dream together.
A moment later, I caught my breath, but I didn't say anything.
It's all right to have butterflies in your stomach. Just get them to fly in formation.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
Human beings have an inalienable right to invent themselves.
What if this weren't a hypothetical question?
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.
He who laughs, lasts!
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
Genius is one per cent inspiration, ninety-nine per cent perspiration.
The knowledge of the world is only to be acquired in the world, and not in a closet.
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
I prefer the company of peasants because they have not been educated sufficiently to reason incorrectly.
Therefore search and see if there is not some place where you may invest your humanity.
Creative work is play. It is free speculation using materials of one's chosen form.
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passion, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.
More movement, and the sense of bodies being shackled in alongside of me.
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things.
Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement.
Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
You never find yourself until you face the truth.
A sympathetic Scot summed it all up very neatly in the remark, "You should make a point of trying every experience once, excepting incest and folk dancing."
I am here for a purpose and that purpose is to grow into a mountain, not to shrink to a grain of sand. Henceforth will I apply ALL my efforts to become the highest mountain of all and I will strain my potential until it cries for mercy.
An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought.
Obscurity is a good thing. You can fail in obscurity. It removes the fear of failure.
When you have got an elephant by the hind leg, and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run.
I was in total darkness now and I strained my ears to hear what was going on with my friends.
Use what you have to run toward your best - that's how I now live my life.
The roses, the lovely notes, the dining and dancing are all welcome and splendid. But when the Godiva is gone, the gift of real love is having someone who'll go the distance with you. Someone who, when the wedding day limo breaks down, is willing to share a seat on the bus.
Arguments are to be avoided; they are always vulgar and often convincing.
One's destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.
I was in total darkness now and I strained my ears to hear what was going on with my friends.
Truly great madness cannot be achieved without significant intelligence.
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
The first duty of a leader is to make himself be loved without courting love. To be loved without 'playing up' to anyone - even to himself.
I define comfort as self-acceptance. When we finally learn that self-care begins and ends with ourselves, we no longer demand sustenance and happiness from others.
Perhaps, after all, America never has been discovered. I myself would say that it had merely been detected.
There ain't no free lunches in this country. And don't go spending your whole life commiserating that you got raw deals. You've got to say, 'I think that if I keep working at this and want it bad enough I can have it.'
Keep cool and you command everybody.
Do not believe that he who seeks to comfort you lives untroubled among the simple and quiet words that sometimes do you good. His life has much difficulty... Were it otherwise he would never have been able to find those words.
We should be eternally vigilant against attempts to check the expression of opinions that we loathe.
Nothing can be so amusingly arrogant as a young man who has just discovered an old idea and thinks it is his own.
The habit of giving only enhances the desire to give.
You never know till you try to reach them how accessible men are; but you must approach each man by the right door.
Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self will require not just small adjustments in your way of living and thinking but a full-on metamorphosis.
I never vote for anyone; I always vote against.
You freeze where you are, time stops, and your heart thunders in your ears.
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
To be willing to die for an idea is to set a rather high price on conjecture.
When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.
By the time I'd grown up, I naturally supposed that I'd be grown up.
The people who are regarded as moral luminaries are those who forego ordinary pleasures themselves and find compensation in interfering with the pleasures of others.
Nothing is as simple as we hope it will be.
It's the opinion of some that crops could be grown on the moon. Which raises the fear that it may not be long before we're paying somebody not to.
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
We bear the world and we make it... There was never a great man who had not a great mother - it is hardly an exaggeration.
It is not always the same thing to be a good man and a good citizen.
I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours.
I have never been especially impressed by the heroics of people who are convinced they are about to change the world. I am more awed by those who struggle to make one small difference after another.
Beware the pull on your heartstrings -- it's often the pursestrings that are actually being reached for.
We succeed only as we identify in life, or in war, or in anything else, a single overriding objective, and make all other considerations bend to that one objective.
Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
Up ahead, I saw someone, a middle-aged lady in a hippie dress, falter and fall.
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