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what am I writing about?
everyday situations
nanbudo
punk rock
analisis
hysteria
(white) shoes




VIDEOS WEEKLY
No. 10 Leave Before The Lights Come On
No. 11 Dig up her bones
No. 12 Eläkeläiset
No. 13 Don't Fear the Reaper




Linkovi
Blog
Forum
Suomen Nanbudo Liitto
Crybabies
MadProfesa
Tigrovi i masti
Jo˛ina lutkica
Posa
Magyar Vizsla




BLOGS THAT I READ
Snoopyshihst
Mguina
Armanina
Ribafish
Aparatczyk
Kucanica u Japanu
Daisy



TAKE A SNEAKY PEEK!
Platja d'Aro - Spain
Skien, Oslo - Norge
Prag - Bohemia
Turku - Finland
White wedding
Martin 1st edition
Martin 2nd edition
Martin 3rd edition






Down this road
Another day, another dollar, another bill collecting caller.
Disillusioned, let down, all my heroes are junkies now.
I've been down this road, in the end it's all the same,
another day I'm getting older, another day nothing has changed.
I've been down this road, I'm wrong when I know I'm right,
hard pressed to make it better, but I got no will to fight.
26 and I'm flat broke, I've been down so long I have given up hope.
Shattered nerves anxiety, so much more than I wanted to be.
I often wonder what went wrong,
but I can't remember, it's been too long.
Think out loud things I want to change,
but I know I never will I'm gonna stay this way.
I've been down this road, in the end it's all the same,
another day I'm getting older, another day nothing has changed.
I've been down this road,
I'm wrong when I know I'm right,
hard pressed to make it better, but I got no will to...
Is this my great reward, servitude and solitude,
a lifetime of chances I have blown
I woulda coulda shoulda been so much more than I really am,
and it's nobody else's fault but my own.
Another day, another dollar, another bill collecting caller.
Disillusioned, let down, cause I'm nothing more than a fuck up now.
I've been down this road, in the end it's all the same,
another day I'm getting older, another day nothing has changed.
I've been down this road, I'm wrong when I know I'm right,
hard pressed to make it better, but I got no will to fight.
Zero down

STUMBLE AND FALL
Making a bet and I feel that I should have known better
Turning the pages so slow as I ever could
Shot shot I need a shot of persuasion right now
Let down the offer at once
'cause I'm weak and afraid to be wrong

But in time, well I need another piece of your mind
In time, and the feeling is strong and I'm riding it high
In time, well I need another piece of your mind
In time, and the feeling is strong
and I'm riding it high for you

Shaking my head so gently afraid to be simple
Waiting for you reaction, for your response
Time out, I don't need any suspension at all
Sit still, it's all for the best
'cause you stumble and fall for your love

Faking a laugh the sound is loud and annoying
Taking it back is something that can't be done
Let go, the spirits is no in the ceiling tonight
Step down and lick all my wounds
is the only thing left for me now

NO FUN AT ALL

Jack of all Trades
Give me a reason not to lash out,
because I don't see much reason now
I want to banish frauds, slay unruly sods.
Since false idol gods have nothing figured out
Nothing at all
So you've got a tale to tell,
Well how about something real?
feel free and stifle someone.
Go on and belittle someone as well.
Or but fucker yeah you'll get yours
So fill up your pockets, and watch them swell.
You could be no one, an inconsiderate bastard son.
Kiss your smile goodbye.
Kiss it all goodbye.

Hot Water Music


Original Me

Mirror, mirror,
Please believe,
Need to find myself,
All my life spent wondering,
I've been trying to hide this place of mind,

Confusion,
Illusion,
Misinterpretation,
Of the original me.

I need a sign a simple chime,
When grown kids have crossed my mind,
Followed to in the craziness,
A welcome man who rode behind,

Confusion,
Illusion,
Misinterpretation,
Of the original me.

What big thoughts you had,
I can see them in your eyes,
When you pretend to laugh,
Reflection I see,
Reminds me, of somebody like me

Tender day,
Spent to laugh,
Don't say all but the impact,
Mental prostitution,
In this universal, institution,

Confusion,
Illusion,
Misinterpretation,
Of the original me

Confession,
Aggression,
My time to end this session,
One bang and I'm free.

What big thoughts you had,
I can see them in your eyes,
When you pretend to laugh,
Reflection I see,
Reminds me, of somebody like me.

What big thoughts you had,
I can see them in your eyes,
When you pretend to laugh,
The reflection I see,
Reminds me of somebody like me.
ALL

08.10.2006., nedjelja

DOWN AND ALMOST BROKEN

mollies I have prepared some other posts that are probably more interesting but since it is Sunday, an emo day...I must act emo on my readers. I had such a rotten day on Friday that I have been on a rebound over since. I am in a Flogging Molly mood!
Annotation: Last weekend I was on a party and I drove some friends home. We were talking about how great that FIAT PUNTO was and how I never had problems with it. As soon as I left them at home I saw a light turn on on the car board informing me that something was wrong. I barely managed to get home. It would be such fun if I did not, it was three o'clock in the morning and it was raining. Anyway, next few days I drove another car because I hoped the problem with this car would just go away on its own. But...it did not! Now I completely understand the real meaning of FIAT that I read on some blog, it's Fix It Again, Toni! The car needed to be repared. I knew there was something wrong with the injection system but I thought it was a minor damage.
However, on Friday a car service picked the car up and took it to a Fiat service garage. Soon after that I found out that the reason why the car broke down is the most expensive part which should have been repalced. It costed 3200 kuna or the alternative of throwing the car in the garbage - so, 3200 kuna. Ei perkele!!

Also, Friday was kind of a D Day for my back problem situation. I went to a specialist with all my test results. I waited for the doctor for an hour and a half. Finally, he called me in. He saw my test results and he had a very serious face expression. He carefully told me what I feared the most: that I cannot train Nanbudo anymore. The situation is kinda serious and the doctor kept repeating that the results are very clear: it is better to be careful than to operate. I was devastated but I am proud that I did not cry right there on the spot. I succeeded in holding those tears until I got out. What the fuck?? Everybody has a screwed up spine, right? It is not like I am Janica Kostelię...the world will not stop if I stop training, that's for sure, but... At that time I did not think about anything else but how I will not do any ukemi for quite some time or maybe never again. If I will train, it will be a senior citizen training (ki nanbu taiso, genki and slow kata – pure eläkeläiset!) I wanted to call my trainer because I knew he would have something wise to say, but I was too emo for that kind of converzacione and still am.
It is not only training for me, I started Nanbudo when I was 15. Everything has its ups and downs but I was strongly into it most of the time. Last three wears I was totally into it. I traveled a lot, went to many seminars, met many nice people, discovered North, got interested into so many different things, learned and saw stuff I would have never seen if it was not for Nanbudo. What now? Is all that gonna end? Only judging? Will I ever be 2nd DAN? Grrrrr...too much things to think about...and since I am the queen of analyzing, there will be some serious thinking there. I suddenly feel so old. Something like: I had my fun, I enjoyed it while it lasted and now it is time to go back to reality and start acting like an adult...with white tights, lunches with colleagues and buying tiles. I do not want my fun to end yet, I do not feel ready for it. What the fuck?!
I was walking towards my car from the hospital thinking about all that, I felt sooo confused...and then I saw a redneck with white shoes, gold chain with some ugly David Beckham hairstyle walking towards me with an arrogant attitude and I thought: screw the screwed up spine, I could have turned out like that guy (vittu mitä juntti metsästä!) While I was thinking of a collective suicide of me, myself and I, I recieved an sms from my supposed to be, tango partner for Friday evening. He informed me (again) that he will not be coming because he bla bla. I would normally be really pissed off, but I did not care at all, the hell with all!!
I never feel bad for a long time and although I thought of missing the tango class, I did not. After the class I was happy I went. There was some guy that dances tango for many years there, he came because I told my teacher in advance that I might not have a partner. That guy really made my sorry sorry day!! He dances really really well and it was not even important that I sucked at dancing because it looked like I knew what I was doing because I was dancing with him. It is good whan you have only your own two wooden feet to worry about and not also about someone else's. I learned few tricks and it felt great. So people, if you feel bad, do some serious tango!!
- 17:34 - Print text! - #

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