I have prepared some other posts that are probably more interesting but since it is Sunday, an emo day...I must act emo on my readers. I had such a rotten day on Friday that I have been on a rebound over since. I am in a Flogging Molly mood!
Annotation: Last weekend I was on a party and I drove some friends home. We were talking about how great that FIAT PUNTO was and how I never had problems with it. As soon as I left them at home I saw a light turn on on the car board informing me that something was wrong. I barely managed to get home. It would be such fun if I did not, it was three o'clock in the morning and it was raining. Anyway, next few days I drove another car because I hoped the problem with this car would just go away on its own. But...it did not! Now I completely understand the real meaning of FIAT that I read on some blog, it's Fix It Again, Toni! The car needed to be repared. I knew there was something wrong with the injection system but I thought it was a minor damage.
However, on Friday a car service picked the car up and took it to a Fiat service garage. Soon after that I found out that the reason why the car broke down is the most expensive part which should have been repalced. It costed 3200 kuna or the alternative of throwing the car in the garbage - so, 3200 kuna. Ei perkele!!
Also, Friday was kind of a D Day for my back problem situation. I went to a specialist with all my test results. I waited for the doctor for an hour and a half. Finally, he called me in. He saw my test results and he had a very serious face expression. He carefully told me what I feared the most: that I cannot train Nanbudo anymore. The situation is kinda serious and the doctor kept repeating that the results are very clear: it is better to be careful than to operate. I was devastated but I am proud that I did not cry right there on the spot. I succeeded in holding those tears until I got out. What the fuck?? Everybody has a screwed up spine, right? It is not like I am Janica Kosteliæ...the world will not stop if I stop training, that's for sure, but... At that time I did not think about anything else but how I will not do any ukemi for quite some time or maybe never again. If I will train, it will be a senior citizen training (ki nanbu taiso, genki and slow kata – pure eläkeläiset!) I wanted to call my trainer because I knew he would have something wise to say, but I was too emo for that kind of converzacione and still am.
It is not only training for me, I started Nanbudo when I was 15. Everything has its ups and downs but I was strongly into it most of the time. Last three wears I was totally into it. I traveled a lot, went to many seminars, met many nice people, discovered North, got interested into so many different things, learned and saw stuff I would have never seen if it was not for Nanbudo. What now? Is all that gonna end? Only judging? Will I ever be 2nd DAN? Grrrrr...too much things to think about...and since I am the queen of analyzing, there will be some serious thinking there. I suddenly feel so old. Something like: I had my fun, I enjoyed it while it lasted and now it is time to go back to reality and start acting like an adult...with white tights, lunches with colleagues and buying tiles. I do not want my fun to end yet, I do not feel ready for it. What the fuck?!
I was walking towards my car from the hospital thinking about all that, I felt sooo confused...and then I saw a redneck with white shoes, gold chain with some ugly David Beckham hairstyle walking towards me with an arrogant attitude and I thought: screw the screwed up spine, I could have turned out like that guy (vittu mitä juntti metsästä!) While I was thinking of a collective suicide of me, myself and I, I recieved an sms from my supposed to be, tango partner for Friday evening. He informed me (again) that he will not be coming because he bla bla. I would normally be really pissed off, but I did not care at all, the hell with all!!
I never feel bad for a long time and although I thought of missing the tango class, I did not. After the class I was happy I went. There was some guy that dances tango for many years there, he came because I told my teacher in advance that I might not have a partner. That guy really made my sorry sorry day!! He dances really really well and it was not even important that I sucked at dancing because it looked like I knew what I was doing because I was dancing with him. It is good whan you have only your own two wooden feet to worry about and not also about someone else's. I learned few tricks and it felt great. So people, if you feel bad, do some serious tango!!
Post je objavljen 08.10.2006. u 17:34 sati.