dRGN

danas bas danas znamo se godinu dana - ne bas tacno na dan ili mjesec ...no niti je cak godina nego bas da smo se upoznali je cak i duze. ali sad oko ovo vrijeme - prije bozica je doso nakon dugo vremena opet online - i cak sam ga zaboravila. ali tacno jos znam ... ja mu se javila. nije imo internet u novom stanu pa je rjetko doso online. i tako i tako nije bas puno po danu tu.

neznam zasto - ali u kupatilo mi to taman doslo i cjelu vrjeme su mi te rjeci u glavi - vrtu se - godinu dana.



koliko se desilo - koliko se okrenulo - koliko je ostalo isto (cekam da dodje sa posla)

nisam misla da ce tako dugo trajat!

>>>>>>>>>>volimtedjubre i nemogudazaustavimvise<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

hmm dugo vam nisam pisala ... jel iskreno, nema nista da pisem. super se osjecam. cujemo se svako noc. jebote je svaki dan nemogu da stoijm vise o umore ali opet brbljam snijme do 1 ili 2 u noci pa ujutro se dignem i idem na faks. tako i veceras. cekam da dodje sa posla. barem se nadam da ce doc. uvijek kaze, sta ides tako rano u krevet - de ostani jos malo! i ja tak uvijek ostanem. hehe iako znam da necu moc ustati.

trenutno je bas super izmedju nas. on uvijek oce da ostanem - sto meni kaze da ima zelju da prica sa mnom. i bas je tako da puno prica. prekjucer o sebi prico kaku mu dan bijo. sto vec dugo nije. ahja cak je malo puno harmonija hehe nepoznato mi je to.

jucer se nismo culi, jel sam bila na festi. bila je do jaje - nisam ocekivala. nocila sam kud prijateljice, tako da sam mogla se napit malo bilo je tako smjesno i opusteno plesala sam kao nikad osjetila sam se tako dobro. neznam zasto. ali vec dugo nisam imala taj osjecaj. i nista me nije smetalo. di da smo pola sata vani po kisi morali cekati dok moremo uci. ondak dok smo predali robu. joj bila guzva i ljebili smo svi jedan na drugi. pa ondak smo tili iz jedne sgrade u drugu. pa ni govora da mores proci. ali EGAL nije mi nista smetalo.

imala bi zelju da slavim novu godinu snijem. *eto ga haha* ali neznam neznam neznam ... nevjerujem da ce pitati. i neznam uopce jel ce raditi za novu. moje prjateljice isli bi slavit novu godine u M**** hehe ali bojm se da ce bit kao zadnij put.

naja ... idem se malo snijem tipkati

lakunoc

Jucer mi kaze ... HVALA. pitam ga, za sta hvala? kaze za to da si tu! za njega tu.

zar more bit da je skuzijo da sam bila prekjucer ljuta? drugacije nemogu sebi taj "hvala" objasniti.

joj zasto mi tako nesto kaze ... jel nezna, da je meni nakon takvih rjeci srce jos tuznije?

zasto se ja jos uvijek brinem, zasto se moje misljene uvijek i uvijek vrtu oko njega, zasto ja sebi razbijam glavu i cudim se i pitam se uvijek i uvijek i uvijek. a on? on se igra sa mnom, to more svako vidjeti. ali no, ja to vidim, ja to znam. i opet. zasto mu sve oprostam? zasto more sve radjeti sa mnom a ja njemu nista?

sto to radi sa mnom? i jel uopce zna sta to radi sa mnom?

vako se osjecam ... speechless.



=======================================================
All I can ever be to you,
Is adorness that we know,
And this regret I got accustomed to,
Once it was so right,
When we were at our high,
Waiting for you in the hotel at night,
I knew I hadn't met my match,
But every moment we could snatch,
I don’t know why I got so attached,
It’s my responsibility,
And you don’t owe nothing to me,
But to walk away I have no capacity

He walks away,
The sun goes down,
He takes the day but I’m grown,
And in the old way, in this blue shade
My tears dry on their own,

I don’t understand,
Why do I stress A man,
When there’s so many better things at hand,
We could a never had it all,
We had to hit a wall,
So this is inevitable withdrawal,
Even if I stop wanting you,
A Perspective pushes thru,
I’ll be some next man’s other woman soon,

I cannot play myself again,
I should just be my own best friend,
Not fuck myself in the head with stupid men,

So we are history,
YOUR shadow covers me
The sky above,
A blaze

I wish I could SAY no regrets,
And no emotional debts,
cos as we kiss goodbye the sun sets,
So we are history,
The shadow covers me,
The sky above a blaze that only lovers see,

Tears Dry On Their Own Songtext

a ovo mene osjeca na nas .... ovo pozelim kad mislim na tebe glupaca!

neki dan sam imala "dobri dosli u nasoj maloj maskaradi" na msn. i prompt me pito kakva maskarada. Rekla sam mu nasa i da je jedna pjemsa o Cece.

reko jel mislis sa nasom maskeradom, mene i sebe ... jel me ta pjesma na NAS osjeca? na nas? o boze ... najradje bi pitala "zar postoij nas" ... "ja i ti" ... totalno mi bilo tesko reci, nas. to izgovoriti ... bome nije bila lako ako neznas jel tako nesto kao NAS uopce postoji. naravno da on nije mislijo na taj NAS kao sto sam ja misla. ali svjedno. u biti nije skuzijo sta sam mu htjela reci. i prvi put ... prvi put bi mu rekla SVE. ali ... on ... on nerazumje o cemu Ceca pjeva, nesvidja mu se pjesma i idi sad spavati.

joj ostavijo me opet sa otvorenim usta. neznam zasto se toga sad sjecam da vam moram to napisati. neznam sto nemore razumjeti, da se osjecam kao da je jedan zid izmedju nas...

i opet taj NAS ...

osjecam da pricamo o bilo cemu uvijek ostane jedna maska na licu, na prici, na slovama. znam da ja jesam distanzirana ... jel ja moram se nekako daleko drzati od njega, jel ja sam se vec zaljubila u njega i nemogu vise natrag. i sto bliza sam mu sto tese ce bit bez njega.

Babe as long as i got you

to je stavijo na kraju od jednog youtube video's sto je sam napravijo za tu pjesmu. to je zwar stropha iz pjesme ali jel je pokresno da uvijek se pitam jel je to za mene stavijo? da mi nesto kaze stim? kud one druge pjesma izgleda da je bilo za mene - jel i pjesma bila neznam. ali na drugoj strani uvijek imam tu sliku u glavi. uvijek i uvijek i uvijek je vidim kad zatvorim oci. i poludim (jel mislim da znam koja je to bilo) poludim ako znam da chatta snjom.

Keyshia Cole - Shoulda Let You Go

Just to think about it, I would do things that I would regret (tryna get you to)
To understand how I felt for you
I tried real hard time and time again but I
Didn't know my love wouldn't grow, I shoulda just let it go
But I, stayed around thinkin you would learn to love

And we both knew, you're wrong
There's nothing you can do, to ever undo what you've done to me
I loved you, deep in my heart I know you couldn't love me
But baby I just kept holding on, I shoulda let you go
Shoulda let you go [x3]

Couldn't do without it, I felt I needed you in my world (to get me by, by)
More and more I looked out for you, tried to play me like a fool so I
Didn't care that love wasn't there, had to just let it go
Couldn't stay around, thinkin you would learn to love

And we both knew, you're wrong
There's nothing you can do, to ever undo what you've done to me
I loved you, deep in my heart I know you couldn't love me
But baby I just kept holding on, I shoulda let you go
Shoulda let you go [x3]

Amina
And now I'm gone, plus I'd rather be alone
We both grown, lower your tone over the phone, aaight
I shoulda known, damn I shoulda known
It wouldn't last long, when you didn't come home to me
And now I'm on, in the zone, handle business on my own
So respect the queen on the throne, aaight
Here's some strong advice, move on, that's life
You wrong or right, and I gotta letchu go

And we both knew, you're wrong
There's nothing you can do, to ever undo what you've done to me
I loved you, deep in my heart I know you couldn't love me
But baby I just kept holding on, I shoulda let you go
Shoulda let you go [x3]

Don't know why you would ever lie to me so,
But I shoulda letcha
Don't know why I could never let you go
Coulda, Shoulda, Letcha
Don't know why...

mislim na njega ... i slusam Just hold me od Maria Mena

PS nesmin ni reci o kome tu pjemsu imam

Comfortable as I am -
--> I need your reassurance <--
And comfortable as you are
You count the days

But if I wanted silence - I would whisper
And if I wanted loneliness - I'd choose to go
And if i liked rejection - I'd audition
And if I didn't love you - You would know...

And why can't you just hold me?
And how come it is so hard?
And do you like to see me broken?
And why do I still care?
still care ?

You say you see the light now
At the end of this narrow hall
I wish it didn't matter
I wish I didn't give you all

[Refrain]

Poor little missunderstood baby
No one likes a sad face
But I can't remember life without him

I think I did have good days
I think I did have good days
I think I did have good days
I think I did have good days
I think I did have good days

And Why ....

Why can't you just hold me?
And how come it is so hard?
And do you like to see me broken?
And why do I still care?

Just hold me Songtext

Jucer/sinoc smo opet skroz normalno pricali. kao da nitkad nista nije bilo. cudno ha. i to kako. i znate sta, ja pojma vise nemam. sta on sa mnom radi.

.neznam

..poludit cu

...bas

na to sto je otiso offline, nista nije reko, samo da nisam nista pokresno rekla. nezna ni on sto je otiso. aha KLAR! jebi se.

na to da sam to vec davno pozelila da opet normalno pricamo, reko, da se nada da tako osjecam.

i na to jel sam mu jos draga. reko da. zasto ne?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

eto ... to je to. ja neznam sama vise sta da mislim o tome

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

jel to normalno?

>pita on, "znaci, tebi stoij nesto do meni?"<
>odgovorim ja, "da - inace nebi vise stobom pricala"<
>on, "ok"<

i nesto. otiso offline. neodgovara na poruku. super.

sve do sada smo normalno pricali - i sad to. i sad nek mi on jos jednom kaze da muskarci nisu komplizirani.

jel mi oce stim kazati - ja nepricam vise stobom znaci ja tebe nevolim?

jutros sam ustala i nekako sam misla, nemore bit da je to sad sve bilo. nezelim da to tako sad prekine. NE ... tako laku mu necu napravit. mozda imam dugo rukovodjenje (boze tu rijek nikad nisam izgovorila haha zu deutsch: Leitung) ... neznam jel se to na hrvatski kaze, ali u njemackoj se to kaze ako nekuzis odma.

tu pjesmu sto mi poslo. mislim ja poznam taj remix od njega. star je. mozda mi htjeo stim nesto rec. ja nisam tome nista rekla, jel ta pjesma mene uvjek pravi tuzno. NEZNAM ... ali iako. nerazumjem zasto se tako ponasa prema mene. izmedju nas je jedan veliki zid. i ja ga sama nemogu preskociti. ali ipak ... nezelim tako otic. nezelim da tako razilazimo zajedno.

ako mi daje sansu da pricamo o tome. ali tu mi i on mora pomoci. uopce neznam kako cu to napravit ako bude opet tako hladan.

WHAT GOES AROUND...
DONT´t WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT
DON`T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT
I´M JUST SO SICK ABOUT IT
CAN´T BELIEVE IT´S ENDING THIS WAY
JUST SO CONFUSED ABOUT IT
FEELING THE BLUES ABOUT IT
I JUST CAN´T DO WITHOUT YA
TELL ME IS THIS FAIR???

Is this the way things are going down?

Is this how we say goodbye?

SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER WHEN YOU CAME AROUND...

CAUSE I KNOW THAT YOU´RE LIVING A LIE

BUT THAT´S OK BABY...´CAUSE IN TIME YOU WILL FIND...

WHAT GOES AROUND, GOES AROUND, GOES AROUND; GOES AROUND...COMES ALL THE WAY BACK AROUND

...I THOUGHT I TOLD YA; HEYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!

JEBOTE NIJE FAIR NIJE! kako bi moglo bit fair, da se tako prema meni ponasa? "Ich trink Ouzo, und was machst du?" ICH KOTZ GLEICH! jebote kurac. ubit cu se. nije fair da to tako zavrsava. NIJE! i nemore nikada bit.
ali uvijek se vidis dva puta u zivotu. i vjeroj mi, drugi put cu ja bit ta

K - R - A - J

cause it feels like u are million miles away