Ainulindale

I was once told that if you really want something, you can get it, if you just want it bad enough. This does work in most areas of life. Love is not one of those areas. I thought that...if I'm good at loving I won't have an problems with it. Boy, was I wrong. My one and only problem emerges from love. So far I've fallen in love twice. Each time it didn't work, no matter how hard I tried and I tried...oh, how I tried. I've observed the world around me more than once and I see that there is little love here now. And I think I'm slowly but surely turning into one of those guys who think that girls are only made for physical pleasures. And I see their point. Love causes too much pain. Nobody likes pain, so they all run away from it. They stay unattached to girls. Basically, you should never get too attached to anyone, for they all can hurt you. I don't know what to think, anymore. I don't know what to do. It's like LP says - "Should I trust some and get fooled by phoniness, or do I trust nobody and live in loneliness?" This is THE question. This is the ultimate decision. A decision which I must re-analyze. I must choose again. Frankly, I do not know what will I decide. I'm so lost...


For Reddy...

Don't want to reach for me do you?
I mean nothing to you
The little things give you away
But now there will be no mistaking
The levees are breaking
All you've ever wanted
Was someone to truly look up to you
And six feet under water
I do