MT mafija

Eto prošli su nam blagdani, stigla na je Nova 2006. godina. Ne očekujem previše, neka bude dobra kao i ova prošla, ja zadovoljan i sretan. Najvažniji događaj je rođenje moje prekrasne kćerkice, sad Maja već ima 10 mjeseci! Naravno još je jako lijep događaj bio i preseljenje u svoj stan nakon 15 godina podstanarstva! Nekima od vas i nije bilo tako dobro, ali eto pokušat ću vas utješiti povremenim objavljivanjem šala i viceva na stranicama bloga moga. Ne očekujte ih prečesto, pišem onako često koliko mogu. Ipak postoji život i izvan ovih virtualnih uređaja, onaj stvarni život treba živjeti! Na primjer dole niže možete vidjeti razmjenu e-pošte u jednoj tvrtki u SAD povodom Božića, kako to kod njih izgleda...



FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 4th December 2005
Christmas Party


I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place
on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the
Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks!
We'll have a small band playing traditional carols...please feel free to
sing along. And don't be surprised if the MD shows up dressed as Santa
Claus!
A Christmas tree will be lit at 1.00p.m.. Exchange of gifts among
employees can be done at that time, however, no gift should be over
Ł10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This
gathering is only for employees! The MD will make a special
announcement at the Party.

A very Merry Christmas to you and your family

Pauline



FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 5th December 2005
RE: Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees.
We recognise that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often
coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However,
from now on we're calling it our 'Holiday Party'..
The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians.
There will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung. We will have
other types of music for your enjoyment.
Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family,
Pauline.



FROM; Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 6th December 2005
RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous
requesting a non-drinking table...you didn't sign your name. I'm happy
to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads,
"AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore!!!!How am I supposed to
handle this? Somebody?
Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchange allowed now since the
Union Officials feel that Ł10.00 is too much money and Management
believe Ł10.00 is a little cheap. NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

Pauline.



FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 7th December 2005
RE: Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the
Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during
daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a
luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees'
beliefs, perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until
the end of the party - or else package everything up for you to take
home in a little foil doggy bag. Will that work?
Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest
from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to
the toilets, Gays are allowed to sit with each other, Lesbians do not
have to sit with gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there
will be flower arrangements for the gay men's table too.
To the person asking permission to cross dress - no cross dressing
allowed.
We will have booster seats for short people.
Low fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control
the salt used in the food we suggest those people with high blood
pressure taste the food first..
There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant
cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts. Sorry! Did I miss anything?!?!?!?!?!

Pauline.



FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director>
TO: All F****** Employees
DATE: 8 December 2005
RE: The F******* Holiday Party.

Vegetarian pricks I've had it with you people !!! We're going to keep
this party at the Grill House whether you like it or
not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of
death", as you so quaintly put it, you'll get your f****** salad bar,
including organic tomatoes, But you know tomatoes have feeling too,
They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing
the scream right NOW!!
I hope you all have a rotten holiday, drink,drive and die.

The Bitch from HELL!!!!!!!!!!!




FROM: John Bishop - Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: 9th December 2005
RE: Pauline Lewis and Holiday Party

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pauline Lewis a speedy
recovery, and I'll continue to forward your cards to her. In the
meantime, the Management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and
instead, give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd December off with full
pay.