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JEBOTE LJUDI OVO MORATE CITAT, KOJI JE OVAJ VIN DIESEL KRALJ.!!!!!
Ovo ovdije cete se uvjeriti da su sve preseravanja, a ne kao u chuck-a gdje je sve istina:
If you rearrange the letters in Vin Diesel it reveals his credo: "I End Lives."
Whenever Vin Diesel plays Chutes and Ladders, he treats the chutes as ladders, because he's not some pussy who can't climb up a plastic slide.
Vin Diesel irons his shirts while he's wearing them.
There is no "I" in team. There are two "I"s in Vin Diesel. Fuck you, team.
When Vin Diesel deletes files from his computer, he doesn't send them to the Recycle Bin. He sends them to hell.
Vin Diesel once challenged world record holder Kobayashi to a 12 minute hot dog eating contest. Results: Kobayashi ate 58 complete hot dogs and buns. Diesel ate 112 complete hot dogs and buns and one Kobayashi.
Vin Diesel impaled over 40 horses to make what he calls "an authentic" Merry-Go-Round,
Every Christmas, Vin Diesel dresses up in red, climbs down chimneys, and steals children to work in his salt mines.
Once during a routine yoga workout, Vin Diesel decapitated a koala bear.
Vin Diesel nearly made it to the final table of the 1988 World Series of Poker. Which may not sound like much, but was impressive considering he thought they were playing Go Fish.
When Vin Diesel goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Vin Diesel could use to kill you, including the room itself.
As Vin Diesel approaches zero, zero runs like a little bitch.
Vin Diesel once caused quite a commotion at a crowded movie theatre when he caught on fire and refused to leave.
You are what you eat. That is why Vin Diesel's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.
Vin Diesel does not use adverbs. Vin Diesel uses verbjectives.
Vin Diesel can simply walk into Mordor.
Vin Diesel was once given the key to New York City but was asked to give it back when he used it to bludgeon homeless people.
If you were to lock Vin Diesel in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this Vin replied "Because Grammy's are for queers." Then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response.
The first Dungeons & Dragons card deck came to be when little Tommy Schmit found Vin Diesels misplaced photo album, "Things I Shouldn't Have Had Sex With in the Middle Ages."
Vin Diesel plays Minesweeper with real mines.
Vin Diesel once beat an orphan to death using the body of another orphan as a weapon.
Vin Diesel once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
Vin did a GEICO commercial in which he can be seen smiling and drinking a strawberry smoothie. The voice-over then says, "In the time it takes to sodomize and murder a family of four, you can save 15% or more on your car insurance."
Vin Diesel created Scientology as an April Fool's Joke one year. To his dismay, no one has gotten it.
Vin Diesel is the only person in the world who can actually give 110%. (BESIDES CHUCK WHO GIVES 2 TIMES TO INFINITY%)
Vin Diesel once attempted to appeal to both the black and white cultures, but was upstaged by Wayne Brady.
The producers of The Pacifier had to audition 1,247 actors before they were able to find five children that Vin didn't like the taste of.
Vin Diesel does not spank the monkey, he spanks King Kong.
Vin Diesel once challenged a canoe full of epileptics to a shaking contest and won.
Vin Diesel covers his Slip 'n' Slide with gravel.
Vin Diesel says, "It's only domestic violence if you hit her at home."
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach Vin Diesel to fish and he will rid the ocean of all perceivable life forms.
Vin Diesel can speak in Wingdings.
Vin Diesel is a true American Patriot. As such, he only eats foreign children.
Vin Diesel wrote the pilot episode for "The Weather Channel."
Vin Diesel does not need to insert (2) coins to continue.
Vin Diesel enjoys a game of golf, but it has less to do with strategic club selection and the grace of the swing, and more to do with eating golf balls.
Vin Diesel coined the phrase "Pardon my French" after picking up a French man and using him like a bat to club people.
Vin Diesel can do push ups with both arms tied behind his back.
Vin Diesel has the secret to Cold Fusion but refuses to share until Saved By The Bell is put back on television.
When Vin Diesel falls off his horse he never gets back on. Why? Because he never falls off his fucking horse.
It's 10 O'clock. Vin Diesel knows where your children are.
When People get hungry, they go to their refrigerators. When Vin Diesel gets hungry, he goes to an orphanage.
All of Vin Diesel's genes are dominant.
Vin Diesel once said Beetlejuice three times, ever since Michael Keaton has had no career.
For a brief period in history, Vin Diesel had stolen the letter F from the alphabet, that is why we have words such as photo and Dr. Phil.
At The Battle of Thermopylae, hundreds of thousands of Persians were held back by 299 Spartans and Vin Diesel. The Spartans were quickly defeated when Vin Diesel grew bored and left to find something shiny.
Vin Diesel owns the last remaining Tab soda machine in existence.
Vin Diesel had a little lamb who's fleece was white as snow, and anywhere Vin Diesel went the lamb was sure to go. So he killed it.
Vin Diesel's penis was formerly known as Excalibur.
Vin Diesel masturbates to pictures of Vin Diesel.
Vin Diesel is the only one who can "try this at home." (BESIDES CHUCK)
Most people don't know this, but the bible actually ends with Vin Diesel showing up at the crucifixion with a pair of Uzi's and kicking some Roman ass. Vin Diesel was all like, "Jesus, I totally saved you." Then, off on the horizon, a bunch of Romans show up riding dinosaurs led by Mecha Pontious Pilate. Jesus busts out this sweet ninja sword and says, "Now it's my turn to save you." Then Jesus and Vin Diesel run towards the Romans in slow motion. That's how the bible ends. It's a cliff-hanger. I can't wait for the sequel, "The Bible 2: Water...Into Blood".
Contrary to popular belief, Trix are also for Vin Diesel.
Vin Diesel drives a full size replica of the Millineum Falcon.
When Vin Diesel plays any video game, God mode automatically turns on.
Vin Diesel killed Tupac.
Crop circles are Vin's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.
Vin Diesel is the person who decided the Rabbit couldnt have any Trix.
Vin Diesel sits on erupting volcanos to remove hemmeroids.
Vin Diesel can predict the shuffle on his iPod.
Vin Diesel has beaten Sim City.
Vin Diesel harnesses the power of the sun and puts it into Sunny Delight.
Vin Diesel once suffocated a plant.
Vin Diesel can walk on water, not because he is Jesus, but because the normal force as described by Newton in his modern laws of physics does not apply to him.
Vin Diesel's family wraps his holiday presents in lead, so he can't see what's in them.
After Vin Diesel killed the last dodo he was heard muttering, "Now it's time for those queers."
Vin Diesel is the reason why Jura(Waldo) is hiding.
God refuses to give Vin Diesel a soul until Vin Diesel gives back God's underwear.
Vin Diesel can speak in iambic pentameter.
Vin Diesel wrote The Diary of Anne Frank.
Vin Diesel is required by law to submit a zoning license before tightening his pecs.
Vin Diesel is 100% sure that probability does not exist.
Vin Diesel's regular breakfast at Denny's consists of 87 fried eggs, 764 slices of ham, 1240 sausage links, and a side order of Corey Feldman.
Vin Diesel has a team of sculptors working on the statue that will stand atop his grave. It is a talking, twelve foot tall likeness of him that encourages people to touch it, then delivers a powerful electric shock and a curse to anyone who does.
In the original draft for Home Alone, Vin Diesel raped Macaulay Culkin.
Vin Diesel fires a 12-gauge at his face to pop zits.
Vin Diesel is the only known entity to whom causality does not apply.
Vin Diesel is the reason that midgets exist. They're just normal people who are afraid to grow in Vin Diesel's presence.
Vin Disel was once commissioned by a group of the world's top scientists to help prove that God does not exist. Vin Diesel refused, however, as he knows God exists; the two are regular poker buddies.
Napoleon lost the battle of Waterloo because he couldn't speak English, and Vin Diesel wouldn't lower himself to speaking French.
Sound recording devices encounter some kind of interference when Vin Diesel is distressed. Specialists have isolated some of these sounds and say they are like leathery wings flapping.
Vin Diesel has no bone marrow. Instead, the material is a compound of granite, fiberglass and Rock 'n' Roll.
In the near future, Vin Diesel will invent t-mail, the telepathic equivalent of e-mail. Unfortunately, he will use this technology to spam us with ads for his upcoming movies and to hack our brain to become compliant slaves.
Vin Diesel thought the "yellow fever" was China.
Vin Diesel got the Cookie Monster hooked on cookies with trace amounts of cocaine.
The end result of the game "Clue" is always the same: Vin Diesel was the murderer, it was in the orphanage, and the weapon was a hamster.
Contrary to popular belief, Vin Diesel's balls cannot be used as a life raft. They can however be used as a sea anchor for large cruise ships.
Vin Diesel is what the Hokey Pokey is all about.
Vin Diesel is so cool that when he's constipated, he doesn't give a shit.
On The Seventh Day, God had Vin Diesel over and they invented the beer bong. This led to the untimely death of the dinosaurs.
Instead of pigs-in-a-blanket, Vin Diesel enjoys infants-in-a-blanket.
Vin Diesel's foresight is 20/20.
Vin Diesel has had sex with every Nobel prize winner in physics - all except for Douglas Osheroff (The 1996 Winner). Watch out Dr. Osheroff!
The use of Mitochondrion DNA has concluded that all of humanity split off from Vin Diesel's genes roughly 200,000 years ago. When asked about this he commented about the use of a "Time Machine" to score with thousands of "Cave-bitches..."
Vin Diesel's tears are at a frequency and pitch that causes pigs' heads to explode.
Vin Diesel rips the tag out of his mattress promptly upon each purchase.
It is not laughter that is the best medicine, but Vin Diesel.
Vin Diesel used to say, "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee," before killing someone because he thought it was some cold-blooded shit. But then he realized it was just wasted time that he could be spending eating Subway sandwiches or deflowering virgins.
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