Kad se odrekenes onog sta najvise volis...
Eto, dosao je i taj dan.
Uvijek sam mogla podnijeti mnogo. Mnogo rada, smijeha, suza, ponizenja, ljubavi, patnje,... I sve to sa smjeskom.
onda se dogodi neka sitnica koja nema nikakve veze s onim sto ti je najvise u mislima, i ... kraj!
Ne mogu vise, odustajem.
Tako je bilo i s njim.
Vracam se jednog dan s posla i sjedim na kaucu, gledam tv, slusam radio i opijam se kavom, kad odjednom iz neba pa ua rebra: gotovo je, ne volim ga vise!! Tahžko lako, kao da nikad i nije postojao nekakav osjecaj prema njemu. Stranac i odbojnost.
tako je to kad se odrekens onog sta najvise volis. Ostaje samo praznina i osjecaj kao kad se probudis nakon neugodnog sna.
I tako sam ja porilino dobro to podnosila, nisam uopc e razmislajla o njemu, kao da sam ga potisnula duboko u sebe i zakopala za sva vremena.
Otad je proslo vise od mjesec dana. I tako je sve bilo idealno.
Onda se dogodilo.
Uvijek isti san, vec deset dana prije nego se moram porobudit u 5,45. Probudim se u 5,42 sva sludjena.
Ne vjerujem da san traje duze od sekunde.
Uglavnom, vozim polako ulicom, ne znam gdje, ne znam kojeje doba dana, ali vidim jasno, vozim i odjednom ugledam njega, stoji na nekakvim vratima ili prozoru. Kad nam se pogledi susretnu, samo mi se nasmije onako toplo, kao nekad puno ljubavi i kao da mi kaze: ''Sve ce bit OK, volim te, shvacam zaso si to ucinila, ne ljutim se, samo ti znas sto smo imali i sto si znacimo.
U tom trenu produzim i probudim se trzeci ga, ali kraj mene je sam prazan krevet ili sestra koja mirno spava...
Tako je to kad se odreknes nekoga koga volis vise nego sebe, ne mozes se odreci snova i osjecaja da se on nije odrekao tebe, makakao daleko bio i makoga ljubio...
Jer lijepo je rekao moj prijatelj:''Nije bitno koga ljubis, vec koga vidicžs kad zatvoris oci.....''
30.06.2007. u 22:07 |
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Lipanj 2007 (1)
Svibanj 2007 (2)
Travanj 2007 (5)
Ožujak 2007 (7)
Veljača 2007 (6)
Siječanj 2007 (8)
Prosinac 2006 (3)
Dnevnik.hr
Gol.hr
Zadovoljna.hr
Novaplus.hr
NovaTV.hr
DomaTV.hr
Mojamini.tv
Opis bloga
Blog opisuje doživljaje iz malog sela vidjene okom intelektualke (nezaposlene, obozava Queen i to je odrzava na zivotu) koja je silom prilika zapela na neodredjeno vrijeme u malom mjestu u Dalmaciji.
Linkovi
Blog.hr
Forum.hr
Monitor.hr
Sto sam sve procitala od srpnja 2006.:
S. Sheldon: Vjetrenjace Bogova
M.H. Clark: Sjeti se
E. Hemingway: Zbogom oruzje
M.H. Clark: Meni pripadas
S. De Beauvoir: Uspomene dobro odgojene djevojke
P. Coelho: Fahir
G.G. Marquez: Ljubav u doba kolere
S. De Beauvoir: Snaga stvari
P. Coelho: Djavao i gospodjica Prym
P. Coelho: Na ogalu rijeke Piedre sjela sam i plakala
Judy Blume: Ljetne sestre
M.H. Clark: Prije no sto kazem zbogom
R. Rendell: Brojalica
O. Mirebeau: Dnevnik jedne sobarice
R. Sole: Fotograf i njegova zena
L. Winston: Petica iz tugovanja
M.H. Clark: Srest cemo se opet
S. Sheldon: Ispricaj mi svoje snove
A. Pulitzer: Blizanke
J.C. Grange: Grimizne rijeke
S. Japrisot: Zaruke su dugo trajale
I. von Kurthy: Zona mjesecine
S. Japrisot: Zaruke su dugo trajale
I. von Kurthy: Zona mjesecine
''LJUBIM TE,
NO STO SE TO TEBE TICE?''
Goethe
Covjek moze zadrzati osjecaje prema nekome, a da ipak vise ne pristaje da oni upravljaju citavim vasim zivotom i kvare ga.
Simone de Beauvoir,
''Snaga stvari''
''Kad te ljubavnik napusti, mozes isplakati sve suze ovog svijeta, ali ga neces vratiti. otisao je zauvijek, odnio sa sobom tvoje slomljene uspomene svedene na prah i ostavio tvoju dusu samu.''
Wei Hui, ''Sangaj baby''
''Siromasni duhom ne mogu biti cinicni zato sto su vec uvijek odredjeni bijedom vlastite neduhovnosti.''
Zivko Paic
Aerosmith Dream On
Every time I look in the mirror
All these lines on my face getting clearer
The past is gone
It goes by, like dusk to dawn
Isn't that the way
Everybody's got their dues in life to pay
Yeah, I know nobody knows
where it comes and where it goes
I know it's everybody's sin
You got to lose to know how to win
Half my life
is in books' written pages
Lived and learned from fools and
from sages
You know it's true
All the things you do come back to you
Sing with me, sing for the year
Sing for the laughter, sing for the tears
Sing with me, if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good lord will take you away
Yeah, sing with me, sing for the year
sing for the laughter, sing for the tear
sing with me, if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away
Dream On Dream On Dream On
Dream until your dreams come true
Dream On Dream On Dream On
Dream until your dream comes through
Dream On Dream On Dream On
Dream On Dream On
Dream On Dream On
Sing with me, sing for the year
sing for the laughter, sing for the tear
sing with me, if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away
Sing with me, sing for the year
sing for the laughter, sing for the tear
Sing with me, if it's just for today
Maybe tomorrow, the good Lord will take you away......
Summer Wine
(Natalia):
Strawberries cherries and an angel´s kiss in spring
My summer wine is really made from all these things
(Ville):
I walked in town on silver spurs that jingled to
A song that I had only sang to just a few
She saw my silver spurs and said lets pass some time
And I will give to you summer wine
Ohh-oh-oh summer wine
(Natalia):
Strawberries cherries and an angel´s kiss in spring
My summer wine is really made from all these things
Take off your silver spurs and help me pass the time
And I will give to you summer wine
Ohhh-oh summer wine
(Ville):
My eyes grew heavy and my lips they could not speak
I tried to get up but I couldn´t find my feet
She reassured me with an unfamiliar line
And then she gave to me more summer wine
Ohh-oh-oh summer wine
(Natalia):
Strawberries cherries and an angel´s kiss in spring
My summer wine is really made from all these things
Take off your silver spurs and help me pass the time
And I will give to you summer wine
Mmm-mm summer wine
(Ville):
When I woke up the sun was shining in my eyes
My silver spurs were gone my head felt twice its size
She took my silver spurs a dollar and a dime
And left me cravin´ for more summer wine
Ohh-oh-oh summer wine
(Natalia):
Strawberries cherries and an angel´s kiss in spring
My summer wine is really made from all these things
Take off your silver spurs and help me pass the time
And I will give to you summer wine
Mmm-mm summer wine
Natalia Avelon & Ville Valo
