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potaknuta jednim blogom na kojeg sam naisla slucajno,o knjizi 100 poteza četkom prije spavanja, mislim da cu pisat svoje misli tu, kako ih nikada ne bi izgubila. ovo ce biti oda zivotu, smrti i svemu sto se nalazi izmedu - sreci, tuzi, ljubomori, mrznji, divljenju, suzama, skakutanju, uzivanju u zivotu, drogama i alkoholu. neka vrsta dnevnika koji necu bas uvijek imati uz sebe, otvoren je ljudima... ali je tu. i biti ce tu, da nikada ne zaboravim nista.
melissa kriticarka
KONCERTI
2007.
25.1. In memoriam EKV - Krug(Bg) , Kset --- 50/60 kn
27.1. Rock masters (LZ Tribute), Boogaloo --- 30kn
9.2. Drti dencing Najluđi 80's party u gradu.dj David Hasselhoff, Mocvara --- 15/20 kn
17.2. Krematorij, Mocvara --- 25 kn
3.3. Tribjut mejdenima, Lostful words, Zadar, klub maya
18.3. Majke, Tvornica --- 100 KN (MOJA MAJKA OSVOJILA KARTE PREKO 101 RADIA)
23.3. Manowar, Rhapsody, Hollyhell, Munich --- 52,5 eura + osiguranje 8 eura + 450 kn prijevoz (pitaj bishopa na cmaru)
24.3. Nenormalni Balasevic(Bg), Boogaloo --- 50 kn
31.3 Doors experience , Boogaloo --- 40 kn
25.5 Nanowar, Zagreb, Mocvara --- 25 kn - jako dobri dečki na koncertu...
7.6. Dream Theater, Dominici, Dom sportova, Zagreb --- 200kn/220 kn (eventim)
4.7. Heaven And Hell (Black Sabbath's days with Dio), Budimpesta --- 32.60 eura, 250-280 kn prijevoz
13.7. Robert Plant & The Strange Sensations, Prokurative, Split - 230/250 Kn
20.7 The Rolling Stones, Stadion Ferenca Puškaša, Budimpešta --- 800 kn (ulaznica stajace + prijevoz urban travel)
28.9. Neki novi klinci, Londoner - 15 kn
20.11. Sonata Arctica, Ride the sky, Epica - Budimpesta, Petöfi Hall --- 500 kn
10.12. Therion, Tvornica - 160kn/180kn
19.12. Željko+Mladen+Alen, Dom sportova - 100kn
2008.
23.1. 1 hit wonder, Kset
2.2. EKV tribjut, Kset - 60/70 kn
Boogaloo 80.te - 20 kn
9.2. Skroz over, Time
Bob Marley tribjut, Boogaloo
1.3. Kset kafe,N.rodjendan
15.3. Brucosijada Fera, sve besplatno,i dobila majcu
26.4. Prorok, Kuglas
28.4. 9 zivota, Danguba
2.5. Zajecarska gitarijada
4.5. Irish Stew, 9 zivota, Ekv tribjut --- Kst,Bg
17.5. Noc muzeja --- 250 dn
20.5. 9 zivota, Zica
9.6. Mark Knopfler, Dvorana doma Sportova
FESTIVALI
Drava fest
22.6. Scorpions, The cult,
KNJIGE
napuklo srce
sun tzu - umijece ratovanja
antony horowitz - stormbreaker
judy blue - zauvijek zauvijek
melissa p. - sto poteza
tolkien - roverandom
ALKOHOL :)
čaj+rum/amaro/vino
mlijeko+kruskovac
kava+šljiva/amareto/jd/irski/škotski viski
blog.nije da mi treba link al aj neka ga mater mu
neki koje poznajem...
saputnik
avana saljanka
hippie
ivo
lucija
baltazar
matea msn
toncek
nadam se njihovom povratku
drazen
andjela
hrabren
fotoblogovi
rooskie
brunhilda
neki koje ne poznajem
feu
prodo
filmofil,Q-stripa
kao pjesma
my insomnia
emanuele
nadam se njihovom povratku
iva
zena o zenama
blokada razuma
artigula
livada srece
shvati me
enciklopedija nacizma
sara
klistir
purpurno dijete
maske su pale
sharp angel
umjetnik
BALASEVICEVA BANDA
ratnik paorskog srca
kao talas
boza zvani pub
L is for LOVE, baby
O is for ONLY you that I do
V is for loving VIRTUALLY everything that you are
E is for loving almost EVERYTHING that you do
R is for RAPE me
M is for MURDER me
A is for ANSWERING all of my prayers
N is for KNOWING your loverman's going to
be the answer to all of yours
Carve your name into my arm.
Instead of stressed, I lie here charmed.
Cuz theres nothing else to do,
Every me and every you.
Sucker love, a box I choose.
No other box I choose to use.
Another love I would abuse,
No circumstances could excuse.
In the shape of things to come.
Too much poison come undone.
Cuz theres nothing else to do,
Every me and every you.
Like the naked leads the blind.
I know Im selfish, Im unkind.
Sucker love I always find,
Someone to bruise and leave behind.
Debelom
Nevolem,nikog, lutko, takva mi je narav
kao ođak star i grav
puno dima je kroz mene proslo.
(...)
Nevolem,kad mi gace udju, di vec udju,
te sto brinu brigu tudju,
kosticu u strudli od visanja.
Nevolem,zatucane, gratis, kravatase,
hipohondre sto se plase,
da dobiju rak od razmisljanja.
(...)
Nevolem,lopuze sto voze tudja kola,
znaju azbuku do pola,
micu usnama dok sricu pejdzer.
I ne samo da ih ne volim nego ih se malo i gadim ...
(...)
Nevolem,sizove i nervne bolesnike,
pre ih pustali za vikend
sad ih puste pravo pred kamere.
Nevolem,sve te lezibejke, da prostite,
prorocice, travestite,
nek mi gospon-dame ne zamere.
(...)
Sta je ovo - solo.Ih, nevolem solo.
Aaa, to je onaj sopran saksofon.
To tek ne volem.
(...)
Al' tebe volem, to je fakat,
ti si mi ljubav jedina,
prodacu onu nasu kucerdu na lakat,
pa nek' je stoput dedina.
Napuklo srce na dve pole,
ljubav je teret pregolem,
cak i to sto te tolko volem - ne volem.
Uh, sto ne volem kad se ovako zavrsi pesma - ko racija.
Sto, bas je logicno.
E sto tu logiku tek volem. Tu si me nas'o...
od moje drage
This love, this love is a strange love
In that it can lift a love, this love
This love,I think I'm gonna fall again
And ever when you held the hand
And turn 'em in your fingers, love
This love, now rehearsed we stay, love
Doesn't know it is love, this love
This love, doesn't have to feel love
Doesn't care to be love
It doesn't mean a thing, this love
This love loves love
It's a strange love, strange love
I'm gonna fall again love
Doesn't mean a thing
Think I'm gonna fall again
jednostavno najbolje sto ostaje u srcu - luki
Iza prozora nemirnog sna
Osjećam njihove sjene
Gledam kako kroz zidove plešu
Kurvini sinovi...
Zatvori gubicu nije vrijedna za narod
Istresi gorčinu do kraja
Na strateškim mjestima njihovi ljudi
Kurvini sinovi...
Lutke od krvi bez trunke ideje
Ubice na cesti
Loša noć, bježim iz grada
Oni dolaze
Kurvini sinovi...
Otišao sam daleko do krajnjih granica
More je uzimalo od neba
Na drugoj strani znaci oluje
Vidio sam kako plaze u tami
Hladna noć pred velike događaje
Ne želim više da se sjećam
Znali su gdje će me naći
Kurvini sinovi...
mojoj dragoj
I feel the wind in my hair
And it's whispering, telling me things
Of the storm that is gathering near
Full of power I'm spreading my wings
After the storm there's a calm
Through the clouds shines a ray of the sun
I am carried from all of my harm
There is no one that I can't outrun
Now I'm leaving my worries behind
Feel the freedom of body and mind
I am starting my journey, I'm drifting away with the wind
I go
I am Hunting High and Low
Diving from the sky above
Looking for, more and more, once again
I'm Hunting High and Low
Sometimes I may win sometimes I'll lose
It's just a game that I play
ne postoji
nešto što ne postoji
nekad se stane
nekad se nastavi
možeš odlučiti
možeš izabrati
kada ćeš krenuti
da li zbog dosade
ili zbog navike
bojiš se na kocku staviti srce
možda se sve dogodi
možda se sve pojavi
samo od sebe
pokreni se, izmjeni se
dok ne pokušaš
nećeš saznati
tko si zapravo ti
pokreni se, izmjeni se
ponekad postaneš
tek kada ostaneš
ponekad nestaneš
tek kada prestaneš
možeš odlučiti
koliko ćeš se mučiti
na jednom mjestu
Puno pijem
Dok ležim u sobi sam
Moje ljubavi više nema
I ne želim da svane dan
Ne želim sunce
Nek traje ovaj mrak
Jedna zvijezda kao da pjeva
To meni moja draga šalje znak
Ne želim više biti tu
Poljubit ću ponovo svoju dragu
Ili u raju ili u paklu
Ja sam ono čega nema
Ja sam ono što ti se sprema
Ja sam sudbina koja se ruga
Ja sam podli đavolji sluga
Ja sam istina koja je glupost
Ja sam neizdrživa glad
Ja sam bio nekad, ja sam sad
Ja sam situacija teška
Ja sam velika greška
Ja sam istina koja je glupost
Ja sam od milion godina tuga
Ja sam na kraju devetog kruga
Ja sam razapet pas, ja sam ludost
Ja sam budućnost
Da li ti se sviđam
Uvijek budi tu
Ne mogu bez tebe
Hajde gurni me
Volim tebe
Volim sve te jake stvari
Ti si divlja
Ti si uvijek
Ti si zauvijek
jednom seljaku
Remember when you were young, you shone like the sun.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Now there's a look in your eyes, like black holes in the sky.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
You were caught on the crossfire of childhood and stardom,
blown on the steel breeze.
Come on you target for faraway laughter,
come on you stranger, you legend, you martyr, and shine!
You reached for the secret too soon, you cried for the moon.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Threatened by shadows at night, and exposed in the light.
Shine on you crazy diamond.
Well you wore out your welcome with random precision,
rode on the steel breeze.
Come on you raver, you seer of visions,
come on you painter, you piper, you prisoner, and shine!
NEKE PAMETNE
there are no shortcuts to any place worth going. the glory is not in never falling, but in raising every time you fall. the best way out is trough. the only limits are always those of vision. if you do something but there's a better way to do it...find that way. your own self is the only corner of the universe you can improve. everything comes to him who hustles while he waits. nothing is perfect from every point of view. there is so much in this world for us all of we only have the eyes to see it. the strongest person in the world is the person who stands alone. each problem has in it an opprtunaty so powerful that it dwarfs the problem. the greatest succes stories were created by people who recognised a problem and turned it into an apportunity. is the power of endurance weakens with age, the urgency of the pursuit grows more intense. in the field of observation, chance favours only the prepared mind. take time to laugh - it is the music of the soul. the most wasted of all days is the day one did not laugh. you may be disapponted if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try at all. you can long to accomplish great things and noble tasks, but it is your chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble. some day we shall harness the energies of love, then for a second time in history of the world, we will have discovered fire. in research the horizon recedes as we advance. we must choose whether to be rich in things or in freedom to use them.
Christian
The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love, and be loved in return. my heart aches completly every hour every day. only when i'm with you the pain goes away.
Satine
i can't fall in love with enyone
Thor Heyerdahl
Nikad nisam razumio značenje vremena. Ne vjerujem da ono uopce postoji.
Taj me osjećaj uvijek ponovo obuzme kad sam daleko u prirodi. Tada
vrijeme prestaje postojati, a i budućnost i prošlost.
Vincent van Gogh
Nisam pustolov zbog toga što sam tako izabrao nego jer je tako izabrala
moja sudbina
Mozda se u neko idilicno vrijeme djeca nisu ubijala - kada pomislimo na to,postajemo nostalgicni za stvarima koje nikada nismo vidjeli, vremenima u kojima nikada nismo zivjeli...
Forest gump
neznam da li imamo sudbinu ili slucajno plovimo na povjetarcu zivota. mozda je i jedno i drugo
Tolerancija omogucuje ljudima da zive i pored onih koji se smatraju nepozeljnima.
J.F.Keneddy
Tolerancija ne znaci pomanjkanje predanosti vlastitim vrijednostima ona znaci neprihvacanje proganjanja i ugnjetavanja drugih.
Emanuel Kant
Po pravnom zakonu covjek je kriv ako krsi pravila protiv drugih ljudi. po etickim pravilima, on je kriv vec ako pomisli da bi to mogao uciniti.
Anatole France
Da bismo postigli nešto veliko, ne smijemo samo djelovati, nego i sanjati, ne samo planirati, nego i vjerovati.
Coco Chanel
Na lijepo odjevenoj zeni primjecujemo odjecu. Na ruzno odjevenoj zeni - zenu.
You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.
You asked 'What's wrong?' I smiled and said 'Nothing', but than I turned my back on you and whispered to myself 'Everything...'
You don't need to be thin to be beautiful, or good looking to be pretty...
True friend are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossibile to forget.
It's funny how someone can break your heart, and you still love them with all the little pieces.
I love you. Not for who you are, but for who I am when I'm by your side.
Friendship is not a big thing. It's a million little things.
Everyone is going to hurt you sooner or later. You just have to decide whose worth the pain.
Best friend is the one who can see you with the biggest smile on your fice and still know something's wrong.
Svi su ljudi usamljeni dok ne nadju nekoga tko ce im pomoci razbiti tu usamljenost.
What do you do when the person that make you stop crying is the person that made you cry?
When I first saw you, I was affraid to meet you. When I first met you, I was affraid to kiss you. When I first kissed you, I was affraid to love you. Now that I love you, I'm affraid to lose you...
Tears are words that heart can't say.
There are many tipes of ships. Like wooden ships,than plastic ships, metal ships. But the best and most important type od ships is friendship...
The best things in life are unseen. That's why we close our eyes when we cry, dream, kiss...
What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us...
I may not be the4 perfect girl. I am aware of my flaws. I know I'm impatient, I let things get to me, I jump to conclusions, and I am unpleasent to be around most of the time. But when I'm with you baby, I feel like the most beautiful girl in the world. You make me realize, everyone has a different perfect. and it just so happenes, my perfect is you...
Find a guy who calles you 'beautiful' instead of 'hot', who calls you back when you hang up on him, who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off the world even when you're in your sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends or says 'That's here...', who thinks you're just as pretty without the make up, one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares, and loves being with you, and how he is the luckiest guy in the world to have you.
Trough it all, the nights that lasted forever and the days that went by so slowly, the crazy times that we will replay in our heads as our best over, all the boys that we've kisse and the boys that broke our hearts with the promisses they never kept, the alcohol that we drank of the drugs we took when everything seemed to go wrong, the other girls that hated us and lived the live we never had. You were there. And i love you for that.
Every girl wants to meet a guy that she can go to in her sweats, hair a mess, make up running down her face, eyes red for crying and the first thing he says to her is 'You are beautiful' and means it...
Somewhere between all our laughs, long talks, stupid little fights and all our jokes, I fell in love.
When people say 'You've changed' it's only because you've stopped living life their way.
Friendship isn't about who you've known the longest, it's about who came and never left your side.
Živi za danas jer jucer je proslost,a sutra mozda neces dozivjeti.
'Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face '
'znam.bas to...al isuse,sam zasto,cemu se to moralo desit?'
isto je bilo.to skracivanje vremena. covjek misli, radit cu nesto,samo da maknem misli.uspjet ce. nije nikada uspjelo. koliko je noci u komadu sivala po 5,6 sati samo da ne spava. samo zbog straha, samo da ne misli. koliko se puta napila,samo da joj bude lakse, da nesto frflja, nadje nekoga tko bi ju zabavio na trenutke... nemoralno,prljavo,samodopadno,egoisticno,kurvasto bice,koje vise nema snage za ljubav.
a toliko je ima u njoj
pogledala me,trazeci utjehu 'mislim kolke su bile sanse da se to desi? jedna naspram 10 milijadri milijona tisuca?sam....isuse...nemogu znas...zelim ovo moc ali nemogu.sam ponekad pozelim da onog dana nisam slusala A. i da sam to samo ucinila...bilo bi lakse svima. Njemu. meni. tebi. mozda bi se pomirili vas dvoje,mozda bi shvatili da ja to ocu tako, i pomirili se. sve sam unistila.ocu nestati'
primila sam ju za ruku preko stola. moja dusa, patila je uzasno
'mislim da cu povratit.pljuga mi ne sjeda. Tomislav mi ne sjeda...'
'da ni meni...'
stavile smo svaka svoj discman.
flinch?ne...jedna je slusala archenemy...jedna last drop falls...ali mislim da za Njih vise jednostavno nema suza,zato i je gore...jer samo dusa place,a bilo bi toliko lakse da moze i tijelo...a onda je preslo na Tallulah
Remember when we used to look how sun sets far away?
And how you said: "this is never over"
I believed your every word and I guess you did too
But now you're saying : "hey, let's think this over"
You take my hand and pull me next to you, so close to you
I have a feeling you don't have the words
I found one for you, kiss your cheek, say bye, and walk away
Don't look back 'cause I am crying
I remember little things, you hardly ever do
Tell me why
I don't know why it's over
I remember shooting stars, the walk we took that night
I hope your wish came true, mine betrayed me
You let my hand go, and you fake a smile for me
I have a feeling you don't know what to do
I look deep in your eyes, hesitate a while...
Why are you crying?
Tallulah, It's easier to live alone than fear the time it's over
Tallulah, find the words and talk to me ,oh, Tallulah,
This could be... heaven
I see you walking hand in hand with long-haired drummer of the band
In love with her or so it seems, he's dancing with my beauty queen
Don't even dare to say you hi, still swallowing the goodbye
But I know the feelings still alive- still alive
I lost my patience once, so do you punish me now
I'll always love you, no matter what you do
I'll win you back for me if you give me a chance
But there is one thing you must understand
to je bila njena mala zakletva.koju je ispostovala
edit,30.12.Nisam htjela da ispadne kao da nije bilo ljubavi.
zao mi je sto sam popravljala post,al nije ovo mjesto za to.shvatila sam malo kasno.znas sto mislim,nije potrebno da to dijelim s ovolkim ljudima.a i ne tice ih se.
ipak,ljudi se mijenjaju.vidimo se
shine on
PI
"When I was a little kid my mother told me not to stare into the sun. So one day when I was six, I did...the next day I had my first headache."
- Max Cohen
cudan film.za pocetak,crno bijeli je,ali ne klasicno,nego boye/umori oci...radi se o matematicaru Maxu(druga slikica jel) koji,nakon sta cijeli zivot pokusava u prirodi naci dokaze matematike,i usput upadne usred rata izmedu zidova i ljudi s Wall streeta za broj od 216 znamenki,koji svaka strana zeli iz vlastitih razloga,a on je jedini koji ga zna,malcice poludi... prica je dosta dobra i jednostavna,film je morbidan (prvo vidi lika kojem ide krv iz rukava,a kada ga slijedi dodje do stepenica na kojima je mozak,pocne ga poukat,ili cinjenica da ima muhu u glavi i pokusava ju izvadit...),glumci potpuno nepoznati,osim jednog,koji je glumio starog matematicara,Maxovog prijatelja Sola Robeson,koji se odrekao matematike nakon srcanog udara...(treca slika, gospona bute prepoznali iz Oza di je glumio Antonia Nappu...)
a glazba...boze. ovako dobar i prepogoden sountrack nisam dozivjela od requiema...sam...ah pogledajte ga deca draga.
hvala andriji na poklonu
Ja sam opet negdje izgubljena između svjetova u kojima živim.
Izgubljena u vlastitim mislima.
Izgubljena u svijetu kojeg sam sama stvorila.
I ne činim ništa.
Samo gledam.
Gledam kako sve prolazi pored mene
A ja nemam snage pružiti ruku, ja nemam snage napraviti korak.
Ja samo stojim i gledam.
I unistavam se,kaznjavam
I propadam...sve više i više.
Smanjujem se.
Postajem bezlična masa svih onih koje sam toliko mrzila.
Postajem jedna od njih.
I plačem.I vrištim. Iznutra.
I nitko ne čuje, moj krik je preslab.
I odlazim
U ponor vječne tame.
Čak ni riblja čorba ne može više da me nasmije.
Koja dopire iz zvučnika...
(by-tri djevojke)
danas je ponovo bilo...fuj.zao mi je sto je nestao osjecaj 'koji ja kurac radim'kad to krenem radit...sada ih je trenutno 29 na desnoj i jedan na lijevoj...nes ti.
volim i dalje
volim te
kvragu...there i said it. volim te
Ill give you careless amounts of out right
Acceptance if you want it. Ill give you
Encouragement to choose the path you want if you need it.
You can speak of anger and doubts,
Your fears and freak-outs and Ill hold it.
You can share your so-called
Shamefilled accounts of times in your life and I wont judge it.
And there are no strings attached,
You owe me nothing for giving the love that I give.
You owe me nothing for caring the way that I have.
I give you thanks for receiving, its my privilege,
And you owe me nothing in return.
You can ask for space for yourself
And only yourself and Ill grant it.
You can ask for freedom as was
Or time to revel and youll have it.
You can ask to live by yourself
Or love someone else and Ill support it.
You can ask for anything you want
Anything at all and Ill understand it.
I bet youre wondering when
The next payback youll eventually drop.
I bet youre wondering when my conditions or policies will force you to cough up.
I bet youre wondering how far you now have danced moved back into dead.
This is the only kind of love
As I understand it that there really is.
You can express your deepest of thruths
Even if it means Ill lose you and Ill hear it.
You can fall into the abyss
On the way to your bliss
And Ill empathize with.
You cant say that youll have to skip town
To chase your passion and Ill hear it.
You can leave and hit rock bottom have a mid-life chrisis and Ill hold it.
it's a story about a man
who works as hard as he can
just to be a man who stands on his own
but the book always burn
as the story takes its turn
and leaves a broken,sad man
if you could live my life
you would see the difference
you made to me
I'd look right up at night
And all I'd see was darkness
Now I see the stars alright
I wanna reach right up and grab one for you
When the lights went down in your house
that made me happy
The sweat I make for you
I think you know where that comes from
cudno,ali osjecam se slobodno...
jebote.kako volim spremat kucu.
osjecam ko da sam...promjenila nesto
jucerasnja vecer nije opisiva.soul remedy je bio lud.a ostalo...bilo je...lose.jako.hvala svima.
Do I stress you out
My sweater is on backwards and inside out
And you say how appropriate
I don't want to dissect everything today
I don't mean to pick you apart you see
But I can't help it
There I go jumping before the gunshot has gone off
Slap me with a splintered ruler
And it would knock me to the floor if I wasn't there already
If only I could hunt the hunter
And all I really want is some patience
A way to calm the angry voice
And all I really want is deliverance
Do I wear you out
You must wonder why I'm relentless and all strung out
I'm consumed by the chill of solitary
I'm like Estella
I like to reel it in and then spit it out
I'm frustrated by your apathy
And I am frightened by the corrupted ways of this land
If only I could meet the Maker
And i am fascinated by the spiritual man
I am humbled by his humble nature
What I wouldn't give to find a soulmate
Someone else to catch this drift
And what I wouldn't give to meet a kindred
Enough about me, let's talk about you for a minute
Enough about you, let's talk about life for a while
The conflicts, the craziness and the sound of pretenses
Falling all around...all around
Why are you so petrified of silence
Here can you handle this?
Did you think about your bills, you ex, your deadlines
Or when you think you're gonna die
Or did you long for the next distraction
And all I need now is intellectual intercourse
A soul to dig the hole much deeper
And I have no concept of time other than it is flying
If only I could kill the killer
All I really want is some peace man
A place to find a common ground
And all I really want is a wavelength
All I really want is some comfort
A way to get my hands untied
And all I really want is some justice...
ovo ce bit moj najgluplji post ikad
to mi je zadatak naime
prejako mi se pise
prejako mi se prica s ljudima
u isto vrijeme, ne pise mi se
nit mi se prica s ikim
ponovo sam cula nove stvari o sebi, kad sam bila na kavi s ivom mi dragom
i sad sam nadrkana s jedne strane, s druge me boli neka stvar
veceras idem u mocvaru
bit ce mi lijepo,a opet bit cu tuzan jer :
vidit cu ljude koje zelim vidit
vidit cu i covjeka koje zelim i ne zelim vidit
a vidit cu ljude i koje ne zelim vidit
vidit cu jos jednog covjeka kojeg zelim vidit
bit cu tamo upratnji svoje drage glupace
ali bez covjeka kojeg zelim tamo
jel to dobro?
neznam
nadam se dobroj zabavi,jer ce cru bend svirat. go nikola,go.
a nadam se i nekim prilicno dostupnim opijatima
di su rizle kad ih treba zena?jooooooj
tisuce problema...jebo oca svog
a opet....stalo mi je jako.mrzim te
You were daddy's girl nice and sweet
Never in trouble mommy's honey
Little child who just couldn't see
The pressure from her so called friends
Was simply too much
The monkey slowly climbed on her back
Offering an aid for her pain
Giving love and care
No-one cared, no-one cared...
Fragile like a rose on the snow
Eating all your strength and your money
Walking in the shades day and night
Never letting sunshine in your eyes like before
Cannot shake the monkey off your back
Did I see a spark on your eye
Was it just the last light of hope
That died, hope that died
"Forgive me, Father, my daily sin..."
How can I forgive you, never leave you
You know that if you live like, you will die like
Haven of Emotion, Mournful Ocean
Heiress of the Evening Sings in silence
"I need to have now, my daily sin..."
For all your life I prayed for time
To show you where the light lies
Now this is the end
One rose for the memory of the innosence...
"I know, my Father, I cannot win..."
Never will forgive you, never leave you
You know that if you live like, you will die like
How can I erase your pain and aid you
When Death wants to kiss you and you want to kiss Him back...
hm...prvi put pisanje bloga negdje gdje ljudi zapravo vide ko sam, da pisem, i u biti mogu bez popl beda procitat sve
i nemogu si skupit misli na hrpu. strasno...
osmije. koliko znaci osmijeh? uvijek su mi se svidali poslovi koje sam radila, jer me je u krajnjoj liniji zabavljala cinjenica da mogu ljude zabavit i uveselit svojom pojavom.
je li cudno vidjeti djevojku koja s novinama u ruci skakuce okolo po uglu frankopanske i ilice i na najgore i najhladnije jutro ove godine pjeva `walking on sunshine`? pitam se da li ljudi moj osmijeh doyivljavaju iskrenim. ili misle da to samo tako nabacim...ali stvarno, iskreno, kako se ne smijati, kada vec mj i po gledam te ljude u isto vrijeme izmedu 7 i 10, kako im samo prici sa hladnim i bezvoljnim izrazom na licu?
sjecam se kad sam bila klinka,treci/cetvrti osnovne, napisala samiz hvratskog sastavak jesen u mom gradu. to je bio najsladi sastavak koji sam ikada napisala, kao o tome kako sam sjedila naslonjena na prozor i gledala kako kisa pada,i kako ljudi zure i guraju se medusobno, i svi nose crne kisobrane. osim jednog djecaka koji je imao kisobran u duginim bojama, zuta,narancasta,crvena,plava,ljubicasta i roza. i bio je sretan i plesao je i pjevao. a ljudi oko njega su se ponasali kao da je nevidljiv. on se njima smijesio ali nitko nije uzvratio osmijeh
btw izludit ce me ova tipkovnica ferovska, slova su zmjesana
da nastavim.... da. on je bio nevidljiv,ali to ga nije zaustavilo, i dalje je plesao i pjevao sa svojim kisobranom u duginim bojama jer je vjerovao da svi ti ljudi koji ga ne dozivljavaju zapravo nisu vazni. vazna je bila osoba koja ce ga primjetiti,jer ona ce spoznati njegov potencijal i sve ono sto nosi u srcu i ne moze izraziti drugacije nego svojim veseljem i s puno boja
...kraj?
neznam da li ju je nasao...naci ce ju jednom,sigurno. kao i ja. kao i svi mi.
shine on divni ljudi
jedna je blizu,druga malo dalje,ali obe su dobile dio mene
zahvalom vma zapocinjem post.rijeci nikako nisu dovoljne,ali znam da vama one nisu ni potrebne..
ipak,hvala vam,neznam sto bih vez vas,moje ste ispunjenje i inspiracija,moja pomoc,rame i cvrsta ruka. moje smijalice i glupace.
luv ya
22.09.2006.
skoro sam zaboravila jednu nulu...a i kad smo kod zaborava,negdje sam posijala kutiju pljuga danas na putu do tu...sto reci...
kiss of judas.pjevat cu si malo sad.pjeva mi se... kasnije hunting za moju dragu
ljubav je kad imas nekog i kad taj netko ima tebe, nekoga ko ce biti tu uvijek.cak i kad ste daleko daleko jedno od drugoga
ljubav je kad ona na njemu lezi na travi i gleda u nebo
ljubav je kad vam, dok lezite, ne smeta sto netko sjedi 2 metra od vas,pjeva si kiss of judas i pise nesto.jer vazni ste u biti samo vas dvoje,jer svijet je vas...
'propustao je najljepsi dio nje,ali nije vazno,jer ionako ga nece imati nitko drugi.samo ce biti njegov,kao i ona,iako ne poznaje sve...sve ce biti cuvano,netaknuto,jer valjda ce jednom znati sve'
da imam novaca,poruka bi isla ivi...ta zena...ah. drum'n'bass moje dijete
obecala sam pisati o vjetru,proslome.bila je situacija kada sam lezala tu,a malo dalje je vjetar vrtio neku hrpu lisca. izgledalo je jako poetski...neznam zasto u biti nisam tad pisala o tome.mogla je nastati lijepa prica...podsjecalo me na onaj film s kevinom spaceyem, ono kada onaj decko snimi film o vjetrom nosenoj vrecici...lijepo jako
ali nisam pisala...neznam,moja inspiracija je jako zajebana i promjenjiva stvar...brzo dodje brzo me pusti
ovih dana je jako suncano.lijepo.mozda i pocrnim opet malo. znam da si sutra moram oprat kosu. mozda i posvijetli-onda cu bit plava ciganka
'njegova plava cigancica. uvijek je to bila. njegova mala glupava cigancica, koja je nasla mjesto gdje pripada...zauvijek'
ko bi rekao da ciganke znaju pisati,i to jos lijepo..i da imaju inspiraciju...
'iako je pisala dugo,nema stajanja. ne joss. cekala je nesto. da prestane, javila bi se ljubomora, na djevojku koja lezi na svom dragom, jer ima nesto sto ona nikada nece imati...jer njen dragi ne voli Sunce...i mrzila je u tom trenutku sebe
jos dvije cigarete - rekla je, i ide k njemu.nemoze cekati...treba ga kraj sebe'
I never said I was perfect,but I can take you away
'zapravo..krenula je odmah..nema cekanja...a i kraj njega joj ne treba cigareta toliko...da je bar nazvao,da zna da je budan...'ipak...otici ce odmah...'volim te,falis mi' sapnula je u vjetar,s nadom da ce osjetiti njene osjecaje
KRAJ
Quote:mlado nadobudno o komliciranosti zena
ne tako jako komplicirane....ali ponekad znate iznenadit...i na onaj lijepi način i na onaj ružan način....sve ovisi od osobe do osobe... i sad kada malo bolje razmišljam svaka žena krije nešto posebno u sebi nešto što ju ističe... i tu ne mislim na sise i dupe... mislim na ego i ponašanje... samo treba nać to nešto.... a sad jel su komplicirane... pa nisu..... barem meni.... inače svakom kome je žena komplicirana očito ne zna kako postupat s njom
morala sam. nasmijao me
shine on
uh...
na ovaj datum ne bi smjela nista pisati,nista ne bi smjela komentirati.
Blessed with an eye to see things as they are, will you draw me?
Up there on the wall, looking down to us all, you never saw me..
I found a pen, and I outlined a life.
You've never cried, I think I saw a tear in your eye.
Your eyes tell the tale, I will not ask again.
Now I see what you've lost nothing is quite the same.
By the love of my heart, cut my drawing in half, for I think I'm like you... Should you draw me...
Waiting for my evenfall.
Farewell, my passion, you slowly turn pale.
I will long for you warmth, made me feel safe.
I will not draw again, 'till I know it's my time.
I have lived a long life, should I draw me...
Morning's here, I must have....failed
uzalud je svaki trud,jer ja nisam kao prije
sjela sam na zrinjevac,tomislavac tocnije.da napisem nesto lijepo. da se opustim. cesto sam ovdje u zadnje vrijeme. lijepo je. idilicno
danas su mi pozornost privukli golubovi.dosla su dva covjeka i slikavala. gledala sam ih.onda je dosao jos jedan.
pitala sam se sto slika? zasto? je li upotrijebio fokus? je li slika crno bijela ili u boji?
mislim da meni fotografiranje ne bi islo. razmisljam i o cijeni tih fotica. izgledaju jebeno skupo i jebeno dobro. A i slike ce bit dobre. suncano je,bar bi trebale biti dobre. U glavi mi se vrte filmovi razgovora s majkom o kupovini mobitela.
'Ne' ona prvo mora razmisliti i vidjeti kako ce njoj funkcionirati pretplata. moju guzicu.
zatim kako bi izgledao razgovor o kupovini fotoaparata od 2-5 tisuca kuna. olimpus, s okularom i lecom koja se vrti da se izostri slika. jebote 'NE'. sto posto ne. steta.
gledam golubove. lijep prizor. bila bi to lijepa slika za blog. za moju knjigu.
bilo ih je tisuce.
upravo sam podigla glavu.odletjeli su. klepet sto krila.bilo bi lijepo da ih je sto.sto golubova i vrapcica za jednu melissu, za jednu sitnu dusu.
postaje hladno. vjetar mi miluje i jezi kozu,ali koliko god hladno bilo preugodno je da dopustim da prestane.osjecam da su mi se najezile bradavice.spustam pogled, ne vide se,hvala bogu.pisem dalje
razmisljam o svom toku misli. zanima me zasto. primjecujem da imam naocale. smijesno. male su mi, dosta su izgrebane. mislim opet na golubove. dizem pogled. otisli su.
naocale. nisam ih nosila od prvog srednje,stare su dosta. neznam jesam li vise slijepa ili manje nego prije...
gledam si oziljke. tocnije ruku. imam zelju porezat se,aliljudi su okolo. nije da je bitno,nije da su oni bitni. nije da bi itkoprimjetio osim tamnoputog djecaka koji je domaloprije sjedio kod tomislava.
dosao je andrija.ne,ucinilo mi se. ali trebao bi uskoro doci. trebam cigaretu, jako. prijala bi mi. da. shvatila sam da nije andrija kada se nasmijao. andrija se smije kao djevojka.
sunce je na nebu. zasjalo je dosta jako, jer sada je ono preuzelo vlast nad reakcijama moga tijela,postalo je moj tajni ljubavnik. na tren je povjetarac nestao. osjecam lagano przenje na kozi,
'ne idi prijateljice sunce.ostani.trebam te'
cini se da ce ostati samnom jos malo. oblaci su mu dali prostora. ostat ce samnom. jesam li dovoljno dobra i skromna da mi dopusti da ovaj suncev sjaj jos malo zadrzim u sebi? ne,ne samo neko vrijeme...zauvijek...
koliko traje zauvijek?onoliko koliko ga mozemo sacuvati? onoliko koliko traje pomisao na dogadaj tako snazno da ga mozemo dozivjeti kao da se dogada u tom trenu, i da se osjecaji koji su se pojavili tada mogu opet osjetiti...
vratio se s cigaretama,dosao je.dobio je poljubac.trazio ga je,zasto ne?
zauvijek. traje li zauvijek ovisno o nama?
zamisli prvi poljubac. zamisli osjecaj kako ti sunce przi kozu,a povjetarac ju miluje. zamisli neciji pogled na sebi. zamisli nesto sto te se dojmilo.
zamisli prvi dim cigarete nakon 24 h nepusenja. Da li on traje vjecno?kad ga zamislis osjecas li pocetno lagano peckanje,dim kako ulazi u usta i ispuni svaku supljinu, a zatim prelazi dalje u pluca...kada povuces dim osjetis li ga u plucima?ja da.jako.svaki put.osjecam kako me grije iznutra.
zadrzi taj osjecaj klecanja koljena.drhtaj.toplina. samo jedan poljubac
to je ono sto osigurava vjecnost
dugo sam se odlucivala da li da to objavim ovdje. previse ljudi zna tko sam...smeta mi to pomalo kod objave ovakvih stvari
u biti najbolja stvar koju sam ikada napisala je trebala biti objavljena ali je bacena u smece...3 strane ciste sutobiografske jebeno dobre ispovijesti..al jebiga
neckam se,neckam,a ja se rijetko neckam, jer
sve sto ti se svida mislis da i smijes,osjecaje nikada ne krijes,u zivotu nista ne prepustas sreci,zena si od akcije i znas mi reci, stavi pravu stvar na pravo mjesto...