Ptitchitza u niskom letu

srijeda, 28.11.2007.

The Smell Of Winter

... makes me long for love." (F. Hyvonen)

- I love the way you smell. - Maria said to me.
- Really?
- I love it, you smell so good!

Once I came to visit her in the hospital, the intensive psychiatric care unit she was in. I didn't sleep the night and didn't shower.

- Well baby, i'm testing you faith today. I didn't shower. - I told her.
- No, I LOVE the way you smell!

She did. I love the way, all the ways she smells too. If I knew I wouldn't see her the next day, I would wear her as a perfume. I no longer do this, but she is everywhere.

She is the air I breathe.
But I am going under. I am learning how to breathe under the water.
- 13:58 - Komentari (4) - Isprintaj - #

Who Is He And What Was He To You?

I don't know you anymore, Maria.
You are the Ghost of Summer but it's getting colder all the time.

I'll see you again, mi amor. Sooner or later.
The world is not big enough.

And then I'll seduce you. See if you can resist me. RESIST ME!

I've only ever seduced women I didn't really love. I'll make an exception for you, though.
- 13:05 - Komentari (0) - Isprintaj - #

Because I'm worth it

I need to be told, in a believable way, just where do I stand. Like Maria.
No one deserves to be treated like this. For two fucking months, she has disappeared from my life but she is still in (this) country. I'm a big Boy, not like her Polish Boy. I can take it. Use me some more, if that was what you were doing, Maria. Tell It Like It Is.

You do not need to protect me from you, and you shouldn't think you have to protect yourself from me either. You told me (and I have seen it to be true) that you (try to) remain friendly with all your ex-boyfriends. Then why are you making an exception with me, babi?

Of course, all the beautiful things she said to me could have been lies. But they were so beautiful, there were so many of them, I never heard it from any other woman. I am hungry for more.

I need to be told, or I need to hear more lies. I didn't quite die enough yet.

LET'S JUMP OFF THE CLIFF, TOGETHER, MI AMOR.
- 12:29 - Komentari (0) - Isprintaj - #

Fuerte

- That was my mother. - she said. - She asked me what am I doing, I didn't know what to tell her.
- Why didn't you tell her you were having sex and that she should call later.
- I can't tell her to call tomorrow, can I?
- I see.
- Do all Croatian men make love like you?
- How would I know? No woman I was ever with was like you, however. You are on fire, all the time.
- You were about to extinguish my fire?
- I don't think so, not so quickly in any case, mi amor. I take out one at the time, though, no?
- Take me out. Cohe me, mi amor.
- Skotoseme.

(She, later)
- We smoke too much.
- Yes, I'll die of tobacco if you don't wear me out before that.
- Sweet death.
- I'll smoke to many little sweet deaths, I like it when you die in my embrace.
- 11:42 - Komentari (0) - Isprintaj - #

There is a crack in everything

That's how the light gets in.

There is a crack in my heart,
and it's too big to ever heal again.

That is what I was waiting for.
My heart was too big, I had to split it in half
and share it.

Now I am done sharing. I have to hang on to the one(half) I have.
- 10:39 - Komentari (2) - Isprintaj - #

I met this woman

Her name is Anidan.

I've noticed her long time ago, the first time I saw her.
But the love I had in me is spent on another woman.

I cannot love again, not like that.
She knows Maria too.

Maybe, when she gets to know me too
Maybe then she will know I should not be loved.

That is when I can love her. My love. Mi amor, mi corazon, mi culito. Mi everything.
If she understands the ruins I inhabit and still likes me,
That will be proof for me, she is damaged enough for me to love her.

I am one huge neurotic knot.
I am too fucking tired of everything.
And yet tired enough to finish it all.

I love life too damn much.
But it's getting colder every day.
Every day a cold wind from Valhalla beacons.
Every day my Valkyrie sings more sweetly to me.

She's not the right one though.
The right one pretends with chilling precision, that I do not exist.
For that one I would kill, for that one I would give my life.

HIT ME, MARIA.
HIT ME AGAIN. AND AGAIN.
I WILL DROWN WITH LOVE FOR YOU.
- 10:27 - Komentari (2) - Isprintaj - #

What am I doing in this country?

I am discovering, far too slowly, that I am not so alone as I thought I was.
I've discovered it far too late.
I am alone.

I am damaged goods, I am done.
My name is Maria.
- 10:25 - Komentari (0) - Isprintaj - #

ponedjeljak, 26.11.2007.

Locura de amor

I scare myself.
Thinking about you.

_____________
Rekli su mi da si dobro.
Goed zo, Maria.
Nisi ti od jucer.
A nisam ni ja.
- 20:52 - Komentari (1) - Isprintaj - #

srijeda, 14.11.2007.

Gdje?

Danas sam prestao pusiti.

Nisam deset godina, do srpnja prosle godine. U posljednje vrijeme izmaklo se svim makar najblazim oblicima kontrole i rolam duham tak da mi vrecica od 50 grama traje 2-3 dana (= cca 60 cigareta /bez filtera/ dnevno).

Ako pocnem ponovno, rezite me tamo gdje sam najtanji. Gdje sam najtanji, jeb'ga... to ovisi o temperaturi. Tak'a je muska fizionomija.

Alkohol je jedini porok kojeg znam & mogu kontrolirat'. S pusenjem je ili pusim previse ili ne pusim uopce. S obzirom da sam poceo ponovno brstit knjige (veliki napredak u odnosu na posljednju godinu kad nisam bio sposoban ni za to) vise mi ne trebaju dodatni razlozi za drzat ruke i um uposlene dok dangubim po birtijama...
- 14:27 - Komentari (10) - Isprintaj - #

<< Prethodni mjesec | Sljedeći mjesec >>

Creative Commons License
Ovaj blog je ustupljen pod Creative Commons licencom Imenovanje-Nekomercijalno-Bez prerada.

< studeni, 2007 >
P U S Č P S N
      1 2 3 4
5 6 7 8 9 10 11
12 13 14 15 16 17 18
19 20 21 22 23 24 25
26 27 28 29 30    


Dnevnik.hr
Gol.hr
Zadovoljna.hr
Novaplus.hr
NovaTV.hr
DomaTV.hr
Mojamini.tv

  • HEINEKEN or: Is there life before death in the Netherlands?
    Ovaj je blog nastao u nesretnim vremenima kao dokument postepenog raspada zivota kakvog sam znao. U posljednje vrijeme pisem ga cesce na engleskom jer mi pomaze ako imam razloga misliti da ga mozda cita moja neprezaljena Femme Fatale.

    This blog has been created in times of a personal crisis. Mistaken is (s)he who thinks that only bad times define me; they do, however, provide a referential point in determining a personal span of happiness.

    Hitmi bejbi vanmortajm:
    Free Counter

    Ptitchitza na Amazonu
    (in English!)

Komentari

  • su dobrodosli, osobito ako ih stavite ispod postova kojih se ticu. Bez obzira kada je neki post objavljen, s nekom redovnoscu pregledavam ih sve i odgovor na svaki komentar koji ga trazi ce uslijediti.

Tresla se zemlja...

  • Misliti je [sto?] znati? - I am what I is - Ne hodaj malen ispod zvijezda 1 i 2 - Adios pameti: 1, 2, 3, 4 - Miles to go before YOU sleep: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 - Pticja kreketanja: 1, 2, 3 - I bruise easily - Proljetna depresija - It's O'Gay! - Les femmes fatales: 1, 2, 3 - Shadow Boxing: 1

    (Ova cijela 'arhiva' nije od davnina bila azurirana & posljedicno je sadly out-of-date... a nece biti osvjezena barem jos mjesec dana. Eto.)