obicno smece
13.02.2006., ponedjeljak
pree brutalno ;)
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ovo sam copy pasta jer je pree brutalno oooo o Full name: Homer Jay Simpson Age: 36 Weight: Between 239 and 260 pounds. Occupation: Worker Drone/safety inspector, Sector 7G, Springfield Nuclear Power Plant. (Holds plant record for most years worked at an entry-level position.)  Awards: The C. Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field Of Excellence (After Burns found out Homer was sterile due to radiation exposure), Employee Of The Month at the Power Plant (after saving the plant from meltdown), Belching Contest winner, Grammy Award for “Outstanding Soul, Spoken Word, or Barbershop Album of the Year” for his work with the Be Sharps. High school reunion trophies for most weight gained, most hair lost, most improved odour, and person who travelled the least distance. Favourite foods: Donuts (his favourite is Raspberry swirl with double glaze),Pork Rinds Light, Chippos, Krusty Burgers, pork chops, steak, bulk seafood, and honey roasted peanuts.Favourite beverage: Duff Beer.  Surgeries: A triple bypass operation, resulting from his love of aforementioned foods. Favourite pastime: Sitting on the couch while watching TV and drinking beer. Favourite store: The Kwik-E-Mart. Says: “D’oh!” when upset, “Mmmm...” when tempted. Extracurricular: Mistaken for Bigfoot, Mascot for the Springfield Isotopes, Committed to a mental institution. Manager for country singer Lurleen Lumpkin. Proprietor of the Mr. Plow snow-plowing service. Member of the Be Sharps barbershop quartet. Went into space as a NASA astronaut. Charged with sexual harassment for pulling a Gummi Venus De Milo off a babysitter’s backside. Neighbour of former President George Bush. Cannonball target with travelling freak show at Hullabalooza. Unknowing assistant tosuper-terrorist Scorpio in his plot to take over the east coast. Climbed into the ring with the heavyweight champ. Alcohol bootlegger during short-lived Springfield prohibition. Flirted with homophobia. Voice of the “Itchy and Scratchy” character, “Poochie”. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Funniest Quotes :- "Doh" "Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves!" "Remember that postcard Grandpa sent us from Florida of that alligator biting that woman's bottom? That's right, we all thought it was hilarious. But it turns out we were wrong. That alligator was sexually harrassing that woman." "And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?" "America's health care system is second only to Japan... Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, ... well all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!" "Lisa, in the house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!" "When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!" "No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don't like their jobs, they don't go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed." "Ha ha! Look at this country! ? U R Gay!? Ha ha! "Kids, you tried your best, and failed miserably... The lesson is, NEVER TRY." "You suck diddly yuck Flanders" "OK, son. Just remember to have fun out there today, and if you lose, I'LL KILL YOU!" "I think Mr. Smithers picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I'm around!" "Kids, kids. I'm not going to die. That only happens to bad people." "English - Who needs that? I'm never going to England!" "Now, son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies and kids with fake IDs." "Ah, TV respects me. It laughs with me, not at me!" "Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation." "If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English." "No matter how good you are at something, there's always about a million people better than you." "Don't you ever, EVER talk that way about television." "I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here." "Now Bart, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, he gets to break yours." "Son, this is the only time I'm ever gonna say this. It is not okay to lose." "Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?" "That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!" |
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07.02.2006., utorak
kao bi .. .
Ma nemos virovat kako meni neke face uspiju dignit tlak to je nesto strasno sa onim puvanjem a pogotovo cajkasi ajmeee .. . Kako bi ih tuka to je nesto strasno ono  Ma serem se i pisam na sve brbane kolko ih god ima kad jedan dan poludim pa ponesem pistolj pa ih pocnem skidat ajmeee prebija bi ih sve ka ludi nabrijani japanac vaaaaaaaaaaa  Ono nemos virovat jedini metalci koji ono pod velike navodnike mozemo stavit se nalaze u "Duje" i mozes jos neke vidit na domu ostalo sve partijaneri , smikija ... . brbani , cajkasi , bolesnici ma boze sacuvaj u ovom Splitu mos svasta vidit a kamoli u drzavi ... . Ova jebena Hrvatska je ka greben na kojeg ako se nasuces nema ni naprid ni nazad sta cu vam govorit boli nas kurac .. . sve dok nepocnemo radit onda cemo pocet jebat boga i vladi i narodu a najvise SEFU .. .. sve ce to bit tako i jos gore neboj te se al uzivajmo dok mozemo i kao sta mi u svakom postu treba bit spomenuta marihuana sad cu vam postavit jedno pitanje ; Jeli stvarno mislite da je mara stvarno stetan za covika zapitaj te se .. . |
01.02.2006., srijeda
Alaaa.. . prika
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Daj ljudi pun mi je kurac svega kad nepusim samo se zivciram , dodje mi da poludim da se bacim od nekud u nekim trenutcima kad me neko a taj neko moze bit mater neki tip mozda neki prijatelj ma sviiii . .. Ajme majko i sad kad sam bija zapalija trubu kako sam se bija lipo ukoka to je nesto strasno doceka posli skole koja je bila krozno ukurcu spusija sam nemam pojma ni ja kolko aseva ono profesori su me upilali i tako da vam nepricam znam da znate kako mi je i napokon docekam zadnje zvono izletim vanka .. . i dis bolje covice na Marjanu di mi je i skola sidnem na klupu ono sunce dere u me (kako bi seljaci rekli) !!! I dokrajcim trubu izadjem iz one sume pripusen do jaja i uputim se do grada odnosno do "Duje No_1."-a gdje sam odma kao i uvjek treba cuvat kafic .. . jer je konobarica non stop lunjala negdi tako da sam prakticki bija pomocni konobar lol .. . I dobro prodje taj dan super .. . kad vidis sutra dan ujutro mi skola ja rolam trubu u 6 ipo uri ujutro ono cili nikakav nisam se jos ni umija lol zbunjen ajmeee i zarolam je stavim od kutiju od duvana i virila je ono 5 cm. kad vidis izadjem vanka stari me odbaci do skole .. . stignem isprid skole cili nikakav ono UBIJ ME !!!! A znate zasto prvo zato sta je bilo usrano juto a ujutro je misto coviku u krevetu a ne u nekoj PROKLETOJ SKOLI !"!!!! drugo zato sta sam cili bija nadrkan , raspizdjen nemam ni ja pojma zasto i ukurcu . A trece je to sta sam kutiju sa trubom ZABORAVIJA DOMAAAA !!!!! JEBEM TI BOGAaaaaaa koje sranje ono ovo mi je bog namjerno bija ucinija mogu se kladit i uglavnom dodjem doma nakon skole oko 3 ure kad vidis mater mi doma a ja naravno upusen jer me NEKO bija pocastija trubom dolazim do nje i ona me gleda sa cudnim osmjehom i nekim brutalnim pogledom da vidite koja FACA reka sam u sebi odma : "Boze sacuvaj" i nakon sta mi je posli rekla sta ti je ono bilo u kutiji sam reka :"Jebemti Gospu Sinjsku" ali ovo nije usebi bilo i onda je pocela prica bla bla bla onda mi se pocela obracat ka da sam najveci narkoman u splitu i ka da sam upa u dugove do jaja i neznam ni ja na koje mi je sve nacine srala i srala i srala tako da sam popizdija poslaje ukurac i istira iz sobe ... ... PO!!! pizdija sam bija totalno koji nered covice ajmee a dala je i ona meni mislit covice kad mi je rekla da ce rec i ocu a kad vidis niti pet minuta nije proslo eto serifa na vrata mislija sam GOTOV SAM a on ni rici .. . kako sam bija bloka cak mi je bija sutra da 20 kuna zamisli nemos jebeno bealive it ono !!!! znate sta cu vam jos samo rec ; Boze sacuvaj !!! |
