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pree brutalno ;)
ovo sam copy pasta jer je pree brutalno oooo o
Full name: Homer Jay Simpson
Age: 36
Weight: Between 239 and 260 pounds.
Occupation: Worker Drone/safety inspector, Sector 7G, Springfield Nuclear Power Plant. (Holds plant record for most years worked at an entry-level position.)
Awards: The C. Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field Of Excellence (After Burns found out Homer was sterile due to radiation exposure), Employee Of The Month at the Power Plant (after saving the plant from meltdown), Belching Contest winner, Grammy Award for “Outstanding Soul, Spoken Word, or Barbershop Album of the Year” for his work with the Be Sharps. High school reunion trophies for most weight gained, most hair lost, most improved odour, and person who travelled the least distance.
Favourite foods: Donuts (his favourite is Raspberry swirl with double glaze),Pork Rinds Light, Chippos, Krusty Burgers, pork chops, steak, bulk seafood, and honey roasted peanuts.
Favourite beverage: Duff Beer.
Surgeries: A triple bypass operation, resulting from his love of aforementioned foods.
Favourite pastime: Sitting on the couch while watching TV and drinking beer.
Favourite store: The Kwik-E-Mart.
Says: “D’oh!” when upset, “Mmmm...” when tempted.
Extracurricular: Mistaken for Bigfoot, Mascot for the Springfield Isotopes, Committed to a mental institution. Manager for country singer Lurleen Lumpkin. Proprietor of the Mr. Plow snow-plowing service. Member of the Be Sharps barbershop quartet. Went into space as a NASA astronaut. Charged with sexual harassment for pulling a Gummi Venus De Milo off a babysitter’s backside. Neighbour of former President George Bush. Cannonball target with travelling freak show at Hullabalooza. Unknowing assistant tosuper-terrorist Scorpio in his plot to take over the east coast. Climbed into the ring with the heavyweight champ. Alcohol bootlegger during short-lived Springfield prohibition. Flirted with homophobia. Voice of the “Itchy and Scratchy” character, “Poochie”.
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Funniest Quotes :-
"Doh"
"Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves!"
"Remember that postcard Grandpa sent us from Florida of that alligator biting that woman's bottom? That's right, we all thought it was hilarious. But it turns out we were wrong. That alligator was sexually harrassing that woman."
"And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?"
"America's health care system is second only to Japan... Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, ... well all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!"
"Lisa, in the house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!"
"When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!"
"No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don't like their jobs, they don't go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed."
"Ha ha! Look at this country! ? U R Gay!? Ha ha!
"Kids, you tried your best, and failed miserably... The lesson is, NEVER TRY."
"You suck diddly yuck Flanders"
"OK, son. Just remember to have fun out there today, and if you lose, I'LL KILL YOU!"
"I think Mr. Smithers picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I'm around!"
"Kids, kids. I'm not going to die. That only happens to bad people."
"English - Who needs that? I'm never going to England!"
"Now, son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies and kids with fake IDs."
"Ah, TV respects me. It laughs with me, not at me!"
"Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation."
"If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English."
"No matter how good you are at something, there's always about a million people better than you."
"Don't you ever, EVER talk that way about television."
"I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here."
"Now Bart, since you broke Grandpa's teeth, he gets to break yours."
"Son, this is the only time I'm ever gonna say this. It is not okay to lose."
"Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?"
"That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!"
Post je objavljen 13.02.2006. u 00:52 sati.