Ja sam cvijet u tvojoj kosi, pusti vjetru nek me nosi... laticama dišem.. mirisom mirišem.. pogled proljetni nemilosrdno ti sišem...

Okrećeš li se dovoljno.... voliš svoje ogledalo.... a ne sebe.... ma komad stakla....... može biti ti... ti ne možeš biti komad stakla........... možeš tražiti.... nećeš se naći.... tamo si.. iza... samo se moraš okrenuti...(ali danas te boli vrat...)

Secret dreams........

Riding high, then shot down
I load my guns to fire another round
I look deep into your eyes
And cant run theres nowhere left to hide
Don't stop, no it's much too late
When the night comes I can't wait
Oh I live, love to loose control
It makes me crazy I want to let you know

Chorus:
Oh, no, I don't want to fall
Oh, oh, can't you hear me calling
All night long in my secret dreams
You tell me Im the one
When Im next to you -- next to you.
All I want in my secret dreams
Is you here with me.
I got to get to you, get to you, get to you.

There's a thrill, in the chase
We won't lose when we meet face to lace.
Love, games a means without and end.
I go down but I'll be back again
Thru the night with no retreat
When you're with me in my sleep.

Chorus

I can see you
I feel you every night
I need you
But Im only dreaming
All night long in my secret dreams
You tell me Im the one
When Im next to you -- next to you.
All I want in my secret dreams
Is you here with me.
(Bon Jovi)


Iskreno.. najiskrenije se nadam da me neće vjetar pobrati... staklo je tada prelomljivo... otpor ne pruža.... možemo se udružiti... Zapravo.. koliko sam postojana? Koliko sam čvrsta? Koliko sam ja? Što god da krenem pisati... završit će temom o.. Njemu... iako se borim protiv toga.. stalno ga vidim... u liku mjeseca.. tada najčešće.. kad pogledaš.. i vidiš tisuću snova koje još moraš odsanjati.. još milijune noći koje moraš prespavati.... Još jednoga... kojega moraš.... ŠTO??? (Vratit ću se na laž.). moram ga zaboraviti... Što je to? Nije mi jasno.. što to može biti jače od mene same.. od legija svojih likova po prozorskim staklima.. po usijanim glavama...po epruvetama neizvjesnosti koje trošim po nalogu nepoznatog...Reče jednom.. ne smiješ se sramiti... kakve su to riječi?? Ne da se ne smijem sramiti.. VEĆ MORAM!!! Pokunjeno priznajem pogrešku.. nije da sam htjela.. oprostite..
JA:Vi.. kome se obraćam.. a tko ste Vi?
LIK:Zar ne vidiš.. znanče.. s tobom sam od rođenja.. Ja sam tvoj lik.. tvoja sjena... pratim te.. po zdanjima... po prošlosti... pozdravljam te u sadašnjosti... nadam se da ćemo sjesti na livadu u budućnosti..
JA: Kako bi se sreli dragi znanče... kako bi se pozdravili.. kad je moj lik.. koji nije Vaš.. preprost da bi postojao.. kako se pokazati tada.. na livadi..ne mogu.. izjest će me taj zrak...
LIK: Ne govori.. dijelu moga bitka, kako se usuđuješ.. govoriš o sebi.. govoriš i o meni.. Ja sam ti...
JA: Ne.. dragi stranče.. vidiš kako ti se obraćam.. sasvim si drugačije nešto.. nisi ja.. ti si.. ne znam ni ja...
LIK: polovico.. draga..smrskaj snove... prepusti se iluzijama.. radije neka te izjedu one... pusti pusta sanjarenja... ispričavaš se.. za što?? za to što si ja?
JA: ja bih zapravo i htjela biti ti.. nemati osjećaja.. prepuštati se.. bez posljedica.. sve zaboravljati... ali.. vidiš.. ja.... ja moram osjećati...
LIK: Pogledaj se.. oko ti je na lijevoj strani.. meni je na desnoj... ti se okrećeš na lijevo.. dok se ja okrećem na desno.. a da ti nešto kažem...
LIK: Da staneš pored mene.. nitko ne bi ni primijetio razliku... tek onaj.. koji bi se zadubio.. ne strahuj.. nema takvih.. više se nitko ne zadubljuje.. danas samo pogledaju... ne vide i to obično pogledaju onaj dio.. pogledaju mene... ne tebe... pogledaju odraz.. pogledaju lik koji progovara iz staklenih odaja.. gledaju neživo biće.. ono pravo.. ono sa svom opremom potrebnom za život.. koja stoji pored mene.. koja je ono nešto.. koja je ishodište ovog mog lika...ne vide..ne.. drago moje ja... ne vide.. prolaze kao pored ogledala.. kao pored mene.. ne svidi li im se što vide...produže dalje.. traže ogledalo po mjeri.. koje će im reći što žele čuti...
JA: drago moje ogledalo... postojiš... ne strahuj.. postojiš.. ti si ja... ja sam ti... ne idem bez tebe.. ne idi ni ti bez mene.. pusti.. neka te gledaju... ako ne zaslužiš ni da se u tebe ogledaju.. kako možeš reći da stanu i pogledaju mene.. kako?? vide li autisti izvan svoga svijeta? ne vide.. drago moje prividno... ne! Zapravo.. njima je lijepo.. a oni ih liječe od toga.. liječe ih od ljepote... zamisli.. tko će tebe izliječiti od mene? je li se tko sjetio?
LIK:ne govori... samo se gledaj... gledaj mene.. gledat ću i ja tebe...
JA: ali... milo moje.. ogledalce.. ako ću te stalno gledati.. kako će mene vidjeti.. želiš li da stalno vide tebe... da stalno vide laž.. možda i nije.. možda i nije ono pravo.. koje ne boravi iza staklenih odaja.. možda ono i nije nešto.. možda se i ne bi zagledali u to.. da sam grm na cesti.. da sam ogledalo, bi...
LIK: Znaš li zašto se gledaju....
JA. znam.. ali želim da ne znam.. reci mi nešto.. i ja ću se praviti da čujem to po prvi puta...
LIK: vole se.. vole sebe... previše.. stalno se žele vidjeti... no znaš li po čemu znam da su prazni..?
JA. reci mi... molim te..
LIK: rekoh ti.. ja sam prazno ništa... beživotan prikaz.. nisam stvaran.. ja sam odraz.. govori li ti to što?
JA. govori... da te moram razbiti...
LIK: ma neeeee... koliko su oni.. željni sebe iza toga staklenoga carstva.. toliko da više i ne gledaju druge... ne gledaju one prave... one koji moraju osjećati... gledaju sebe.. gledaju se nežive.. i vole se prividne.. ja imam moć... zadovoljiti ih.. ili ih rastužiti..
JA: molim te.. reci mi kako...
LIK: mogu biti oni.. mogu biti lik koji poželim.. bilo kada i bilo gdje... mogu im se smijati.. mogu im popravljati šminku... mogu sve...
no samo kada me stave pred svoje lice... kada im se oči ogledaju... tek tada mogu.. prije ne... kada pogledaju mene.. tj. sebe... tada znaju... ja im kažem... i po njihovu.. tj. mojem izrazu lica koji im poklonim, znam... jesu li bili pravi.. ili su bili prividni...
JA. oprosti mi... ne želim više... nisam ni htjela... ali.. volim se družiti s tobom...pokazuješ li meni.. mene.. ili mi poklanjaš sebe...?
LIK. to možeš znati samo ti.. pogledaj me.. pogledaj se... vidiš li laž u meni.. ona se odrazi u tebi... vidiš li me? ja tebe vidim.. no vidiš li ti mene??
JA: lažeš li? ili lažeš puno??
LIK: lažeš li ti meni?
JA:ne znam.. ponekad možda da.. smijem ti se.. a iz očiju..vidim ti... tebi iz očiju.. vidim neke suze.. vidim neku istinu... vidim da te nešto.. ili netko.. vidim istinu.. vidim istinu u tebi.. koji si lažan...
LIK: .. pogledaš se.. i vidiš mene.. ja plačem.. u meni vidiš istinu.. ja sam tužan.. ja ne znam kako više...i što reći.. kako se ponašati..
JA. upravo tako!!!
LIK: .. zaboravljaš da sam ja dio tebe...rekoh na početku.. TI SI JA.. A JA SAM TI..


Ne smatram se ludom.... simbolički sam iskoristila ono što sam iskopala u toj glavi... simbolički.. no istinito..jer.. ponekad.. zbilja mislim kako razgovaram s prividnim svijetom.. na koji su snobovi toliko fokusirani.... svijetom izvan sebe same.. svijetom koji je tamo.. tamo iza.. tamo iza tih staklenih odaja..
.. ''ma to je samo ogledalo... kakav svijet!!??'' reče...
..............ne.. to ogledalo.. pogledaj... to si ti.. samo je odraz izokrenut... naopako...okreni se.. i pogledaj izvan njega... vidjet ćeš.. vidjet ćeš...
Ono zapravo traži da ne gledamo u njega.. jer daje iskrivljenu sliku.. razumijete li me? lijevo je na desnom.. desno na lijevom... okreneš li se iza sebe... tad je sve na svome mjestu... što treba biti na lijevom.. jest.. što na desnom.. tamo je..

My point is: ne treba tražiti sebe u komadima stakla... u prividnom svijetu.. staklenim odajama.. niste tamo.. tamo je izokrenuto.. pogledati iza sebe.. obratiti pažnju na ono što je iza.. na ono što niste vi sami.. tamo je život... tamo ste vi... tamo sam i ja..................................... ................. ..................
........................ ja............................... ,........................
a možda.................................. .. možda i............................... .......................
.............................. ................................ON................. ......


Jebe mi se živo,
je li pravo ili krivo,
je li crno ili bijelo,
pola ili cijelo......
-------------------------------- ........................ --------------------------- .............................

Iskreno se želim naći,
možda pritom dno dotači,
možda se u liku izgubiti,
možda ću tamo sebe pronaći...

Sjenama da u krilo sjednem,
pa da i sama sudbina postanem,
zašto,
zašto želim da se sve vrti oko mene???
....
sad je drugi svijet,
ogledalo sam bacila,
gadi mi se...
nisam ja...
ne vidim tamo snagu...

smijem se sad..
nemam više pepela...
lice mi je čisto,
a da je bar sivo....
.... ...

19.10.2007. u 22:34 | 6 Komentara | Print | # | ^

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Studeni 2007 (3)
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Opis bloga

ni dan nije zapravo noc,... ni jutro nije zapravo mrak... ni ja zapravo nisam... ja,
ali imam se... valjda imam, dovoljno sebe da mogu reci.... ja sam!!

Linkovi

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Crvena Jabuka
Ne dam da ovaj osjećaj ode

Napravljen sam od samoće
znam čudna sam nevolja
koja dođe i ode kad hoće
a ti si čekati umjela
I neka pjesma sama poteče
nježna i divlja u isti mah
haljinu skini ugasi svijeće
s usana mi odnesi dah
Ne dam da ovaj osjećaj ode
negdje u meni tvoj je znak
i pramen vatre i kap vode
ti si svjetlo sve je mrak
Subota uveče čaša vina
i tvoja soba svijeta kraj
vraćam se lud iz nekih daljina
u oči mi pogledaj
Kroz prozor ulaze svjetla grada.....
....
..
..
..
....
.....





Aerodrom
24 Sata

Priznajem, griješio sam bas kao i svi
Znam da sam prepun mana, ali vjeruj mi
Moja ljubav oduvijek je bila
Čista i tebe dostojna.

Zbog nje sam bio spreman se pokoriti
I protiv razuma se onda boriti
I napustit svoje staro društvo
Tebi je bilo svejedno.

Ti nikad nisi saznala
Koliko mi je do tebe stalo
Dvadeset i četri sata dnevno
S tobom je bilo premalo.

Ti uvijek imaš pravo se potužiti
Možda su ti drugi mogli vise pružiti
Ali, vjeruj, kunem ti se
Nikad nisam za cijenu pitao.

Koliko sam puta te na kiši cekao
Kasnila si sate, nisam ništa rekao
Za tebe sam htio sve na svijetu
Tebi je bilo svejedno.

Ti nikad nisi saznala
Koliko mi je do tebe stalo
Dvadeset i četri sata dnevno
S tobom je bilo premalo.

Pat Benatar
Love is a battle field

We are young, heartache to heartache we stand
No promises, no demands
Love is a battlefield
We are strong, no one can tell us were wrong
Searchin our hearts for so long, both of us knowing
Love is a battlefield
Youre beggin me to go, youre makin me stay
Why do you hurt me so bad?
It would help me to know
Do I stand in your way, or am I the best thing youve had?
Believe me, believe me, I cant tell you why
But Im trapped by your love, and Im chained to your side

We are young, heartache to heartache we stand
No promises, no demands
Love is a battlefield

We are strong, no one can tell us were wrong
Searchin our hearts for so long, both of us knowing
Love is a battlefield

Were losing control
Will you turn me away or touch me deep inside?
And before this gets old, will it still feel the same?
Theres no way this will die
But if we get much closer, I could lose control
And if your heart surrenders, youll need me to hold

We are young, heartache to heartache we stand
No promises, no demands
Love is a battlefield

We are strong, no one can tell us were wrong
Searchin our hearts for so long, both of us knowing
Love is a battlefield

We are young, heartache to heartache we stand
No promises, no demands
Love is a battlefield

We are strong, no one can tell us were wrong
Searchin our hearts for so long, both of us knowing
Love is a battlefield




18 And Life
Skid row


Ricky was a young boy, He had a heart of stone.
Lived 9 to 5 and worked his fingers to the bone.
Just barely got out of school, came from the edge of town.
Fought like a switchblade so no one could take him down.
He had no money, oooh no good at home.
He walked the streets a soldier and he fought the world alone
And now it's

18 and life You got it
18 and life you know
Your crime is time and it's
18 and life to go
[repeat above]

Tequila in his heartbeat, His veins burned gasoline.
It kept his motor running but it never kept him clean.
They say he loved adventure, "Ricky's the wild one."
He married trouble and had a courtship with a gun.
Bang Bang Shoot 'em up, The party never ends.
You can't think of dying when the bottle's your best friend
And now it's

18 and life You got it
18 and life You know
Your crime is time and it's
18 and life to go..

"Accidents will happen" they all heard Ricky say
He fired his six-shot to the wind - that child blew a child away.
......



Blondie
Heart of glass

Once I had a love and it was a gas
Soon turned out had a heart of glass
Seemed like the real thing, only to find
Much mistrust, love’s gone behind
Once I had a love and it was divine
Soon found out I was losing my mind
It seemed like the real thing but I was so blind
Much mistrust, love’s gone behind
In between
What I find is pleasing and I’m feeling fine
Love is so confusing there’s no peace of mind
If I fear I’m losing you it’s just no good
You teasing like you do
Once I had a love and it was a gas
Soon turned out had a heart of glass
Seemed like the real thing, only to find
Much mistrust, love’s gone behind
Once I had a love and it was divine
Soon found out I was losing my mind
It seemed like the real thing but I was so blind
Much mistrust, love’s gone behind
Lost inside
Adorable illusion and I cannot hide
I’m the one you’re using, please don’t push me aside
We could've made it cruising, yeah
Yeah, riding high on love’s true bluish light
Once I had a love and it was a gas
Soon turned out to be a pain in the ass
Seemed like the real thing only to find
Mucho mistrust, love’s gone behind...

THE DOORS
ALABAMA SONG(WHISKEY BAR)

Well, show me the way
To the next whiskey bar
Oh, don't ask why
Oh, don't ask why

Show me the way
To the next whiskey bar
Oh, don't ask why
Oh, don't ask why

For if we don't find
The next whiskey bar
I tell you we must die
I tell you we must die
I tell you, I tell you
I tell you we must die

Oh, moon of Alabama
We now must say goodbye
We've lost our good old mama
And must have whiskey, oh, you now why

Oh, moon of Alabama
We now must say goodbye
We've lost our good old mama
And must have whiskey, oh, you now why

Well, show me the way
To the next little girl
Oh, don't ask why
Oh, don't ask why

Show me the way
To the next little girl
Oh, don't ask why
Oh, don't ask why

For if we don't find
The next little girl
I tell you we must die
I tell you we must die
I tell you, I tell you
I tell you we must die

Oh, moon of Alabama
We now must say goodbye
We've lost our good old mama
And must have whiskey, oh, you now why.......


THE DOORS
CELEBRATION OF THE LIZARD


Lions in the street and roaming
Dogs in heat, rabid, foaming
A beast caged in the heart of a city
The body of his mother
Rotting in the summer ground
He fled the town

He went down South and crossed the border
Left chaos and disorder
Back there over his shoulder

One morning he awoke in a green hotel
With a strange creature groaning beside him
Sweat oozed from its shining skin
is everybody in?
is everybody in?
is everybody in?
the ceremony is about to begin


Wake up!
You can't remember where it was
Had this dream stopped?

The snake was pale gold
Glazed and shrunken
We were afraid to touch it
The sheets were hot dead prisms
And she was beside me
Old, she's no, young
Her dark red hair
the white soft skin

Now, run to the mirror in the bathroom
Look!
shes coming in here
I can't live thru each slow century of her moving
I let my cheek slide down
The cool smooth tile
Feel the good cold stinging blood
The smooth hissing snakes of rain . . .

Once I had, a little game
I liked to crawl, back in my brain
I think you know, the game I mean
I mean the game, called 'go insane'

you should try, this little game
Just close your eyes, forget your name
Forget the world, forget the people
And we'll erect, a different steeple

This little game, is fun to do
Just close your eyes, no way to lose
And I'm right there, I'm going too
Release control, we're breaking thru

Way back deep into the brain
Back where there's never any pain
And the rain falls gently on the town
And over the heads of all of us
And in the labyrinth of streams
Beneath, the quiet unearthly presence of
gentle hill dwellers, in the gentle hills around
Reptiles abounding
Fossils, caves, cool air heights

Each house repeats a mold
Windows rolled
Beast car locked in against morning
All now sleeping
Rugs silent, mirrors vacant
Dust Lying under the beds of lawful couples
Wound in sheets
And daughters, smug
With semen eyes in their nipples

Wait
There's been a slaughter here

(Don't stop to speak or look around
Your gloves and fan are on the ground
We're getting out of town
We're going on the run
And you're the one I want to come)

Not to touch the earth
Not to see the sun
Nothing left to do, but
Run, run, run
Let's run
lets run

House upon the hill
Moon is lying still
Shadows of the trees
Witnessing the wild breeze
C'mon baby run with me
Let's run

Run with me
Run with me
Run with me
Let's run

The mansion is warm, at the top of the hill
Rich are the rooms and the comforts there
Red are the arms of luxuriant chairs
And you won't know a thing till you get inside

Dead president's corpse in the driver's car
The engine runs on glue and tar
C'mon along, we're not going very far
To the East to meet the Czar

run with me
run with me
run with me
let's run

Some outlaws lived by the side of the lake
The minister's daughter's in love with the snake
Who lives in a well by the side of the road
Wake up, girl! We're almost home

We should see the gates by mornin'
We should be inside by evening,

sun sun sun
burn burn burn
burn, burn, burn,
i will get you
soon,
soon,
soon

i am the lizard king
i can do anything

We came down
The rivers and highways
We came down from
Forests and falls

We came down from
Carson and Springfield
We came down from
Phoenix enthralled
And I can tell you
The names of the Kingdom
I can tell you
The things that you know
Listening for a fistful of silence
Climbing valleys into the shade

for seven years, i dwelt
in the loose palace of exile
playing strange games with the girls of the island
now, i have come again
to the land of the fair, and the strong, and the wise
brothers and sisters of the pale forest
children of night
who among you will run with the hunt?
now night arives with her purple legion
Retire now to your tents and to your dreams
Tomorrow we enter the town of my birth
I want to be ready'


THE DOORS
HOUR FOR MAGIC

resident mockery
give us an hour for magic
We of the purple glove
We of the starling light and velvet hour
We of the Arabic pleasure's breed
We of the sundome and the night give us greed
To believe
A night of Lust
Give us trust in
The Night
Give of color
hundred huies
a rich mandala
for me and you
and your silky
pillowed house
a head, wisdom
and a bed
Troubled decree
Resident mockery
has claimed thee
We used to believe
in the good old days
We still receive
In little ways
The things of Kindness
and unsporting brow
Forget and allow
Did you know freedom exists in a school book
Did you know madmen are running our prison
within a jail, within a gaol
within a white protestant
maelstrom
We're perched headlong on the edge of boredom
We're racing for death on the end of a candle
We're trying for something
That's already found us....


Jefferson Airplane
And I like it

This is my life
I'm satisfied
So watch it
Don't try to keep me tied
So why not
Let me be satisfied
This is my life
This is my Way
This is my time
This is my dream
You know i like it
This is my Way
It suits me fine
So watch it doing
Or i leave you behind
So why not
Fit your life in with mine
This is my way
This is my time
This is my dream
This is my life
You know i like it
I like it
Now tell me what you see
Is it the same thing you want me to be
I've seen it all happen so long before
Please believe when i say it's a bore
I need more
I need more
I need more more
This is my time
I'm doing my best
So watch it
Ain't gonna be like the rest, no
So why not
Get away from the mass
This is my time
This is my Dream
This is my way
This is my life
You know i like it
I like it
You know it's mine...

Janis Joplin
Easy rider

Hey mama, mama, come a look at sister,
She's a-standing on the levee trying to do that twist,
But easy rider don't you deny my name,
Oh no, oh no.
Well, I got a girl with a diamond ring,
I'll tell you, boys, she knows how to shake that thing.
Oh! Easy rider don't you deny my name,
Oh no, oh no.
Play it!
Well, I got a horse and he lives in a tree,
He watches Huckleberry Hound on his TV.
But easy rider don't you deny my name,
Oh no, oh no.
I would buy you a plastic suit
And I would even buy you some cardboard fruit.
Oh! But easy rider don't you deny my name,
Oh no, oh no.
Yeah, easy rider, don't you deny my name, pretty baby doll
I said, easy rider, don't you deny my name, pretty baby doll
I said, easy rider, don't you deny my name, pretty baby doll
I said, easy rider, don't you deny my name, pretty baby ...

Simon and Garfunkel
The sound of silence


Hello, darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision
That was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
Beneath the halo of a street lamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed
By the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
[The Sound Of Silence lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com]

People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never share...
And no one dare
Disturb the sound of silence.

"Fools," said I, "you do not know
Silence like a cancer grows."
"Hear my words that I might teach you,
Take my arms that I might reach you."
But my words like silent raindrops fell,
And echoed in the wells of silence.

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made.
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming.
And the signs said: "The words of the prophets
Are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls,
And whispered the sound of silence."