ja nisam bezumnjak - imam sve umnjake :)
nekad si mislim... šta se tiče mog karaktera, kakav god on bio i koliko ga neki možda ne podnosili, ja sam njime i više nego zadovoljna. svi mi imamo nekakav karakter koji izgrađujemo godinama. a da li se netko ikada zapita sta se nalazi iza tog karaktera? ja se ne pitam, ja to jako dobro znam. svaka sitnica koja mi se desila u životu učinila je od mene ono šta sam sada.. dobro, neke stvari su nam urođene, ali na većinu su ipak utjecale stvari koje su nam se desile u životu. neznam, možda da nisam proživjela sve šta jesam, možda bih bila razmaženo derište kojem je važan samo novac (takva je većina ljudi) i ono materijalno. takvi ljudi nisu proživjeli ništa u životu. ni ja nisam još dovoljno toga proživjela, ima još puno stvari koje me čekaju, ali šta se tiče onog lošeg, doživjela sam i previše. i još ću, nažalost. kao i svi, ponekad se poželim vratit u prošlost i promijeniti neke stvari, ali onda si mislim: da se to nije desilo, možda mi život ne bi izgledao onako kako izgleda sada, možda ja ne bi bila ovakva. čini se da nas sva sranja koja doživimo, ako im ne popustimo (u prijevodu, ako se ne ubijemo, čak se ne trebamo ni borit s njima, samo ih preživjet) ojačaju nas. i koliko god sve crno izgledalo, uvjerila sam se da sunce mora jednom zasjati, makar nakratko. čak i kad vam je život godinu i pol stalno u tami i ne vidite izlaz, on postoji. ali vi ga stvarate. svatko od nas može utjecati na to da li će na sve gledati crno ili neće.
nakon prošle godine u kojoj mi se nije desila nijedna dobra stvar, već samo loše (stvarno je bilo tako, ne pretjerujem) odlučila sam da ću se potrudit da ova bude bar malo bolja. i vjerujte, u 5 mjeseci ove godine, desilo mi se više lijepih stvari nego u 12 mjeseci prošle.
ne mogu da se ne prisjetim nekih stvari... izgubila sam prijatelja... okrutna bolest ga je pobijedila. to je jedna od stvari koje me nikako nisu osnažile, ali kad me već nije ubilo... skoro sam izgubila još jednu osobu koju volim. morala sam gledat ljude koje volim kako pate.. ne mislim na one koje sam gledala kako pate zbog ljubavi, jer u usporedbi s time, patnja zbog ljubavi nije ništa. ali oni koji tako nešto nisu doživjeli to ne mogu shvatit.. najgore je kad nekoga koga neizmjerno volite morate gledati kako pati zbog nečega na šta ne može utjecati i za sta se može samo nadati da će biti bolje. ili ako već nema načina da bude bolje, onda se bar nadati da će jednom to biti daleka prošlost koja će je samo obilježiti kao čovjeka i odvesti njezin život u nekom drugom smjeru. jer da se desilo nešto drugo, a ne to, život bi toj osobi izgledao drugačije. ali to su već filozofska pitanja kojima se ne želim bavit... ali kad vam se dogode takve stvari, naučite da se ne vrijedi bedirat zbog gluposti. neki bi rekli, kad netko umre, trebaš naučit cijenit život. ma za šta ga cijenit? život kao život ništa ne vrijedi.. vrijede samo stvari koje čine taj život. vas zivot mozda nekome znaci nesto, ali vama osobno, samo vas zivot ne bi trebao previse znacit. meni je prije bilo svejedno da li cu dozivjet jos 2 dana ili 50 godina. bilo mi je potpuno svejedno. sad vise nije. samo zbog toga jer znam da postoje ljudi kojima zivot ne bi imao smisla bez mene. a ni moj bez njihovog, pa je to usluga za uslugu – vi cuvajte svoj zivot za mene, ja cu svoj za vas.
ima ljudi koji ništa nisu proživjeli i zato cijene samo ono materijalno. i pizde za svaku jebenu sitnicu i rade drame od toga. ali ne treba tebi život oduzeti neku voljenu osobu da shvatiš da ne treba cijeniti ono materijalno, već prave životne vrijednosti. nemojte mi pisat da se bez novca ne može živjet, jer smisao ovog posta nije rasprava o tome.
onda, ima još jedna stvar. neki ljudi nikad nisu patili zbog ljubavi pa zbog toga ni neznaju šta je prava ljubav. znaju samo za fizičko zadovoljstvo i to smatraju ljubavi. onda, ima cura koje su užasno patile zbog ljubavi, neke je sjebao jedan tip, neke dvojica itd. pa su odlučile da ih više nije briga za osjećaje i počele su se davat svakome ko bi naišao. helou, ženske moje, to nije rješenje. ja sam isto tako bila sjebana zbog ljubavi, na sve moguće načine, pa nisam postala kurva. i još uvijek sam ona ista romantičarka ko šta sam uvijek i bila. i neću zato jer mi jedanput nešto nije uspjelo odustat od svega. to nije rješenje. ali nisu samo ženske takve, ima i takvih tipova, sjebala ih je jedna ženska pa su postali kurve. kad postanes takav, ubio si onu osobu koja si bio prije.. ali u potpunosti. jer si zbog nekoga odustao od onoga do cega si nekad drzao.
nemam pojma koji je smisao ovog posta, ali možda netko nađe u njemu nešto za sebe. samo želim reći, koliko god vam se sranja desilo, koliko god puta niste uspjeli u onome šta ste pokušavali, morate skupit snage i ići dalje. možda ne danas ili sutra. možda nakon par mjeseci.. to je individualna stvar... koliko god se sve cinilo crno, izlaz će se jednom pojaviti, ali tek onda kad vi to odlučite. vjerujte mi, istina je, govori vam netko tko ni sam nikad nije vjerovao u to...
i za kraju, pročitajte još ovo:
BEZUMNO JE...
Mrziti sve ruže jer si se ogrebao na jedan trn
Odustati od svojih snova jer se jedan nije ostvario
Izgubiti nadu u molitve jer jedna nije uslišana
Odustati od svojih napora jer je jedan bio uzaludan
Okriviti sve prijatelje jer te jedan iznevjerio
Ne vjerovati u ljubav jer ti je netko bio nevjeran
Ili ti nije uzvratio ljubav
Odbaciti svaku mogućnost da budeš sretan
Jer nisi uspio u prvom pokušaju
Nadam se da se na svom putu
Ne predaješ tom bezumlju
Zapamti da se uvijek...
Može pojaviti druga šansa
Novi prijatelj
Nova ljubav
Obnoviti snaga
Budi uporan
i jos par sitnica:
mom blogu cestitam njegov 1. rodjendan
, divim se sama sebi sta ga nisam ubila u ovih godinu dana, pa cak ni mijenjala adresu...a i dizajn sam samo jednom promijenila... uf, bilo je svakakvih komentara, jadnih nikakvih... a ma, bilo pa proslo.. bilo je i svakakvih postova, mracnih, depresivnih, sretnih, veselih, i da dalje ne nabrajam... nadam se da ce dozivjet i 2. rodjendan...
i da vam dan unaprijed cestitam svjetski dan nepusenja - nemojte neki ostat bez posla 
vas pozdravljam 
30.05.2007. u 13:12 |
K |
49 |
P |
# |
^
| < |
svibanj, 2007 |
> |
| P |
U |
S |
Č |
P |
S |
N |
| |
1 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
6 |
| 7 |
8 |
9 |
10 |
11 |
12 |
13 |
| 14 |
15 |
16 |
17 |
18 |
19 |
20 |
| 21 |
22 |
23 |
24 |
25 |
26 |
27 |
| 28 |
29 |
30 |
31 |
|
|
|
Travanj 2012 (1)
Prosinac 2011 (1)
Listopad 2011 (1)
Srpanj 2011 (1)
Svibanj 2011 (1)
Travanj 2011 (1)
Veljača 2011 (1)
Prosinac 2010 (2)
Lipanj 2010 (1)
Svibanj 2010 (1)
Travanj 2010 (2)
Ožujak 2010 (3)
Studeni 2009 (1)
Listopad 2009 (2)
Rujan 2009 (1)
Lipanj 2009 (1)
Siječanj 2009 (1)
Listopad 2008 (1)
Rujan 2008 (1)
Kolovoz 2008 (1)
Travanj 2008 (1)
Siječanj 2008 (3)
Prosinac 2007 (2)
Studeni 2007 (2)
Listopad 2007 (1)
Rujan 2007 (1)
Lipanj 2007 (1)
Svibanj 2007 (5)
Travanj 2007 (4)
Ožujak 2007 (1)
Veljača 2007 (4)
Siječanj 2007 (4)
Prosinac 2006 (2)
Listopad 2006 (4)
Rujan 2006 (2)
Kolovoz 2006 (4)
Srpanj 2006 (7)
Lipanj 2006 (5)
Svibanj 2006 (2)
Dnevnik.hr
Gol.hr
Zadovoljna.hr
Novaplus.hr
NovaTV.hr
DomaTV.hr
Mojamini.tv
Opis bloga
Bas moram pisati taj opis bloga? Dobro, pa... Blog ce, buduci da ga ne pise nitko pametan, biti pun gluposti, mozda mi izleti koja pametna, ali tesko...
jedna od meni najdrazih:
Sleeping Sun
The sun is sleeping quietly
Once upon a century
Wistful oceans calm and red
Ardent caresses laid to rest
For my dreams I hold my life
For wishes I behold my night
The truth at the end of time
Losing faith makes a crime
I wish for this night-time
to last for a lifetime
The darkness around me
Shores of a solar sea
Oh how I wish to go down with the sun
Sleeping
Weeping
With you
Sorrow has a human heart
From my god it will depart
I'd sail before a thousand moons
Never finding where to go
Two hundred twenty-two days of light
Will be desired by a night
A moment for the poet's play
Until there's nothing left to say
I wish for this night-time...
I wish for this night-time...
brojac od 10.6.2006.
MOJ BIJELI LABUDE
I bas me briga
ko te nocas vozi kuci,
briga me
I ako si i sretna ko sto kazes,
mada znam da lazes
sve to ubija me
Hmmm, grlim hladne jastuke
hmmm, moj bijeli labude
I briga me sto nisi mjesec,
a ni sunce, briga me
al' neces moci preko
blatne kaljuze
cista stic' do moje postelje
Hmmm, grlim hladne jastuke
Ref. 2x
Moj bijeli labude
kad me jednom ne bude
sve ce vode, labude
da se razbistre
I bas me briga
ko te nocas vozi kuci,
briga me
I ako si i sretna ko sto kazes,
mada znam da lazes
sve to ubija me
Hmmm, grlim hladne jastuke
Ref. 4x
Ja sam samo jedna luda romanticna dusa kojoj nema spasa... sanjar do boli... ako se ikad promijenim, znaci da mi se nesto gadno desilo... jer nisam osoba koja je sposobna nosit masku...
White Night Fantasy
Enchantress came to me and said:
Meet me at the lake tonight
I hummed this song to the white
Through the shroud of snow I saw
Paradise
Peace
No more lies
Crestfallen soul
Rest for this night
Love is here
Right here under my wings
I dream of wolves with them I run
For me she lengthened the night
I am home
I am in peace
Crestfallen soul
Rest for this night
Love is here
Right here under my wings
Molim vas, pomozite Zeki!!!
(__/)
(O.o)
(> < )
Ovo je Gothik - Sado Mazo - Zeko. Kopirajte ga na svoj blog i tako mu pomognite na njegovom putu do World Domination!!!
Linkovi
Blog.hr
Naj blogovi:
:: marriana ::
Vedrana
Jelena
Marija
unforgettable lady
Amy
heretik
V4MP1R3
Bestia
panic queen
nivblf
ledena kraljica
..kaya..
cat
Lambalicious
Lakeisha
Broken Crystal Doll
honorina
Kika
Laura
Sara
Anita
pjesma za mene:
Papa Roach "Sometimes"
I'm dreamin about tomorrow, I'm thinkin of yesterday, I consume myself in sorrow this moment in time is what I betray, I
am searching for the answers
[Chorus]
I look around sometimes I get sad, 'Cause I don't know which way to go, I look around sometimes I get sad, 'Cause my life
is spinning out of control
I never know what you want, I never know what you need, it was different from the start, when you cut me in two I never
thought I would bleed, but I am searching for the answers
[Chorus]
I will go this alone I don't need nobody's help, I've got to do this myself, Alone, Alone, Alone, Alone
[Chorus x2]
LET 3 - Dijete u vremenu
Gledam u tuznu jesenju noc
s pokisle grane lisce otpada
u daljini cujem muziku neku
i pitam sebe, gdje li si sada
Ja svakog dana proklinjem sebe
zasto te drugom prepustih lako
pjevao sam pjesme, nad'o se boljem
i bezbroj puta uz gitaru plak'o
Ref.
Nisi me voljela u ono vrijeme
a ja sam zelio samo jedno
sad kada nismo mi mladi k'o nekada
dodji da ostarimo zajedno
Da li jos pamtis ljubavi moja
kako smo ruze zajedno brali
gdje li si sada mladosti moja
zasto su tebe od mene ukrali
Achtung, Achtung
ein animalischen sex
mit die zwei penzioneren
sport und elegantisch
Oder extravagantisch
atention, atention
für die grosse erektion
liebe Penis, liebe zwei
liebe sex abnormal
Nisi me voljela u ono vrijeme
a ja sam zelio samo jedno...
nisi me voljela u ono vrijeme
a ja sam zelio samo jedno
sad kada nismo mi mladi ko nekada
dodi da ostarimo zajedno...
EPICA Dance Of Fate
When darkness will reign and blind us all
When darkness will reign and blind us all
Allegiance will bind us if we do not fall
We cannot tell when morning comes
Is there a choice to live another day?
It's hard to find a new direction in your fragile life
The precious time of your existence is now to come
Don't throw your life away by cheating time
Sugared placebos only fool your mind
Now I want the water to wash away all my sins
The wind to blow away my thoughts without meaning
The fire to burn away my thickened skin
When darkness will reign and blind us all
Allegiance will bind us if we do not fall
Novas portas pandimus
What is this pace, the type of dance?
I cannot tell which steps I have to take
I'd like to leave, just run away
My feet are tangled up
So hard to face the pace of the clock
What do you think; will it ever stop?
So will I fall and not get up?
I take it all in stride
Now I want the water to wash away all my sins
The wind to blow away my thoughts without meaning
The fire to burn away my thickened skin
Everything has a reason for its happening
Can't you tell it's your own spell and
Everyone has to dance this dance like anyone
Can't break free of destiny
We should open new doors and
Close the ones that we've left behind
Now I want the water to wash away all my sins
The wind to blow away my thoughts without meaning
The fire to burn away my thickened skin
When darkness will reign and blind us all
Allegiance will bind us if we do not fall
Novas portas pandimus
Et post nos occludimus
Nightwish - Feel For You
You were my first love
The earth moving under me
Bedroom scent, beauty ardent
Distant shiver, heaven sent
I'm the snow on your lips
The freezing taste, the silvery sip
I'm the breath on your hair
The endless nightmare, devil's lair
Only so many times
I can say I long for you
The lily among the thorns
The prey among the wolves
Someday, I will feed a snake
Drink her venom, stay awake
With time all pain will fade
Through your memory I will wade
Barely cold in her grave
Barely warm in my bed
Settling for a draw tonight
Puppet girl, your strings are mine
This one is for you for you
Only for you
Just give in to it never think again
I feel for you
Nightwish - Dead Gardens
The story behind the painting I drew is already told
No more tearstains on the pages of my diary
Tired but unable to give up since I`m
Responsible for the lives I saved
The play is done
The curtain`s down
All the tales are told
All the orchids gone
Lost in my own world
Now I care for dead gardens
My song is little worth anymore
Time to lay this weary pen aside
The play is done
The curtain`s down
"Where are the wolves, the underwater moon
The elvenpath, the haven of youth
Lagoons of the starlit sea
Have I felt enough for one man`s deed?
Or is it time to challenge the Ancient of Days
And let the virgin conceive"
All the tales...
Cradle of filth - Nymphetamine
Lead to the river
Midsummer, I waved
A 'V'' of black swans
On with hope to the grave
All through Red September
With skies fire-paved
I begged you appear
Like a thorn for the holy ones
Cold was my soul
Untold was the pain
I faced when you left me
A rose in the rain
So I swore to the razor
That never, enchained
Would your dark nails of faith
Be pushed through my veins again
Bared on your tomb
I'm a prayer for your loneliness
And would you ever soon
Come above unto me?
For once upon a time
From the binds of your lowliness
I could always find
The right slot for your sacred key
Six feet deep is the incision
In my heart, that barless prison
Discolours all with tunnel vision
Sunsetter
Nymphetamine
Sick and weak from my condition
This lust, a vampyric addiction
To her alone in full submission
None better
Nymphetamine
Nymphetamine, nymphetamine
Nymphetamine girl
Nymphetamine, nymphetamine
My nymphetamine girl
Wracked with your charm
I am circled like prey
Back in the forest
Where whispers persuade
More sugar trails
More white lady laid
Than pillars of salt
Fold to my arms
Hold their mesmeric sway
And dance her to the moon
As we did in those golden days
Christening stars
I remember the way
We were needle and spoon
Mislaid in the burning hay
Bared on your tomb
I'm a prayer for your loneliness
And would you ever soon
Come above unto me?
For once upon a time
From the binds of your holiness
I could always find
The right slot for your sacred key
Six feet deep is the incision
In my heart, that barless prison
Discolours all with tunnel vision
Sunsetter
Nymphetamine
Sick and weak from my condition
This lust, a vampyric addiction
To her alone in full submission
None better
Nymphetamine
Sunsetter
Nymphetamine (Nymphetamine)
None better
Nymphetamine
KORN - Thoughtless
Thumbing through the pages of my fantasies
Pushing all the mercy down, down, down
I wanna see you try to take a swing at me
Come on, gonna put you on the ground, ground, ground
Why are you trying to make fun of me?
You think it's funny?
What the fuck you think it's doing to me?
You take your turn lashing out at me
I want you crying with your dirty ass in front of me
All of my hate cannot be found
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
So you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the ground
I will see you screaming
Thumbing through the pages of my fantasies
I'm above you, smiling at you, drown, drown, drown
I wanna kill and rape you the way you raped me
And I'll pull the trigger
And you're down, down, down
Why are you trying to make fun of me?
You think it's funny?
What the fuck you think it's doing to me?
You take your turn lashing out at me
I want you crying with your dirty ass in front of me
All of my hate cannot be found
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
So you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the ground
I will see you screaming
All my friends are gone, they died (gonna take you down)
They all screamed, and cried (gonna take you down)
I've got my body, got my body back against the wall
I've got my body, got my body back against the wall
Gonna take you down
[repeat 2x]
I've got my body, got my body back against the wall
I've got my body, got my body back against the...
All of my hate cannot be found
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
So you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the ground
I will see you screaming
All of my hate cannot be found
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
So you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the ground
I will see you screaming
Missing
Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
Maybe someday you'll look up,
And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one:
"Isn't something missing?"
You won't cry for my absence, I know -
You forgot me long ago.
Am I that unimportant...?
Am I so insignificant...?
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?
[Chorus:]
Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?
Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
I know what you do to yourself,
I breathe deep and cry out,
"Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?"
[Chorus]
And if I bleed, I'll bleed,
Knowing you don't care.
And if I sleep just to dream of you
I'll wake without you there,
Isn't something missing?
Isn't something...
[Chorus]
