Smisao svakog novog dana???
Ovo pitanje muci me vec dosta vremena.. mislim, ne zamaram se previse time, ali koji put se stvarno zapitam koji je smisao svega ovoga? svakodnevnog budjenja, odlaska u skolu (to mi najmanje ima smisla), izlazaka... jednostavno, kojeg smisla ima zivot? pokusavala sam naci odgovore sama u sebi... nije mi bas uspjevalo.. nije mi jasno kakvog smisla imaju sve patnje koje moramo prolaziti. neki kazu: da bi nas osnazile. a kog ce nam vraga snaga kad cemo jednom svi umrijeti? ne mogu naci smisao zivota jer sve zavrsava smrcu.. i sve sto smo napravili tijekom zivota ostavlja tragove na drugim ljudima koji ce takodjer umrijeti.. inace sam ateist tako da ne vjerujem ni u raj ni u pakao ni u nesto trece ni u bilo kakav zivot poslije zivota. iza sebe samo ostavljamo ljude koji su osudjeni na patnju, rijetke trenutke srece i svakodnevnu borbu.
Sve sto radimo trebalo bi imati nekog smisla. kakvog smisla ima skola? mucimo se godinama da bismo je zavrsili i postigli nesto. neki ljudi se odricu svega samo da bi po cijele dane ucili i imali prosjek 5,00.. nemaju nikakvog drustvenog zivota, po cijele dane su u kuci i uce, uce, uce i uce. pitam se samo tko ce ih jednog dana pitati koji su prosjek imali u tom i tom razredu. uglavnom, neki se ljudi toliko muce oko skole da bi je zavrsili, odricu se nekih stvari koje nece moci prozivjeti kad zavrse skolu, a kad to shvate, onda nema povratka.. imaju tu toliko zeljenu diplomu u ruci i posao koji zele, ali nisu sretni.. zasto? jer su najbolje godine svog zivota potratili na ucenje.. postali su obrazovani, ali nesretni su jer su njihove ajmo rec najbolje godine prosle pokraj njih a da to nisu ni primijetili..
koji je smisao subotnjeg izlaska?? svaku jebenu subotu izadjem van i UMIREM OD DOSADE!!! mozda izlazim s krivim ljudima jer se nikad svi ne mozemo nesto dogovoriti, uvijek se nadje bar jedan tko nece sta i svi drugi.. mrzim subote.. desi mi se jedna dobra i onda sljedeca tri-cetiri mjeseca nijedna. mrzim te izlaske po ljeti, mrzim, mrzim, mrzim!!!!
ljubav... ljubav prijatelja, roditelja... ona nam pomaze da nam dani naseg zivota prodju sto ljepse i bezbolnije. pokusavaju uljepsati nase dane.. ali katkad nas ti prijatelji, pa cak i obitelj ponekad, toliko razocaraju i natjeraju na patnju da potpuno izgube svoju svrhu. mi im vjerujemo, volimo ih, a oni nam zabiju noz u ledja.. rekla bih da sam za neke ljude sigurna da ce uvijek biti uz mene, ali ne mogu to reci.. mislila sam to vec za puno ljudi i na kraju su me ipak razocarali.. ucinili su mi stvari koje sam od njih najmanje ocekivala.. mogu se samo nadati da ce uvijek biti uz mene.. ti neki ljudi koji mi svakodnevno barem malo uljepsavaju zivot.. postoji jos jedna vrsta ljubavi.. ljubav prema jednoj osobi koja nam znaci jako puno. kojeg smisla ima ta ljubav? na kraju ionako samo patimo. cak i ako prozivimo nekoliko lijepih trenutaka s tom osobom na kraju ili ona nas povrijedi ili mi nju.. uvijek netko pati, tako da ta ljubav nema smisla.. zapravo, prava ljubav ne postoji. zato jer uvijek samo jedan voli. osjecaji ne mogu biti obostrani. da bi postojala prava ljubav, dvije osobe trebale bi osjecati isto, objema bi ona druga trebala isto znacit, trebali bi se jednako voljeti.. a to je nemoguce.. cak i ako nadjemo osobu koja nas na neki nacin voli, ona nas prije ili poslije razocara.. i onda tama pokrije sve lijepe trenutke koje smo proveli s tom osobom.. pamtimo samo one lose jer njih je uvijek puno vise nego onih lijepih.. i uvijek uspiju nadvisiti one lijepe..lijepih se sjetimo samo u rijetkim situacijama.. zbog ljubavi postajemo hladni i ogorceni..
koji put se pitam sto bi bilo da sad umrem.. kome bih nedostajala? tko bi plakao za mnom? ciji zivot ne bi imao smisla bez mene? mislim da bi se tada otkrile osobe kojima sam nesto ipak znacila.. mozda postoji i neka osoba koja bi otisla za mnom, makar cisto sumnjam.. pitam se, bi li se njihovi zivoti tada promijenili iz korijena? ili bi svi nastavili zivjeti kao da nikada nisam ni postojala? znam kako bih se ja osjecala da izgubim neke osobe.. mislim da bez nekih ljudi moj zivot ne bi imao ama bas nikakvog smisla.. mislim da bi me smrt nekih ljudi odvukla na dno.. onda cak i ako bih zivjela, bila bih samo sjena, vise ne bih bila covjek..
neki kazu da se samo slabici odlucuju na samoubojstvo.. oni koji se nisu naucili zivjeti s patnjom.. oni koji nisu shvatili bit zivota. mozda to ipak nije tako.. mozda su izgubili nesto sto vise nikada nece moci imati i bez cega njihov zivot nema smisla.. mozda su imali sretan zivot, ali ih je nesto bacilo na dno.. mozda im je cijeli zivot bio nesretan i nisu nikad nasli svoj put..
iako mi i dalje zivot nema nikakvog smisla, shvatila sam koja je moja zadaca koju cu morat izvrsavat tijekom zivota.. pokusat cu usreciti ljude koje volim.. necu se obazirati na vlastitu srecu, ona mi ionako vise nije vazna.. potrudit cu se da svi ljudi oko mene koji to zasluzuju budu sretni.. pa makar ja ne imala svog zivota.. makar bila nesretna cijeli zivot, makar pustila srecu (za koju sumnjam da ce se u mom zivotu ikada pojaviti) koju sam mogla imati, potrudit cu se barem da drugi ljudi ne pate, da drugi budu sretni... da drugima uljepsam zivot.. katkad mi dodje da se jednostavno prepustim, da svi rade od mene sto zele, da me iskoristavaju sto vise, samo neka budu sretni... ja sam imala jedan trenutak u zivotu kad sam bila sretna i nikada to necu zaboraviti.. to je bio trenutak moje osobne srece, trenutak koji je od mene ucinio najsretniju osobu na svijetu.. uz taj trenutak, bila sam sretna jos jednom, kad sam dobila brata, ali to nije bila samo moja osobna sreca, bila je to sreca cijele moje obitelji..ali nakon te moje srece se dogodilo mnogo toga sto je sve to zasjenilo.. i ja jednostavno nisam nasla izlaz iz toga i tesko da cu ikada opet biti sretna.. mnogi ljudi su mi zagorcavali zivot, a ja sam zbog toga patila... odlucila sam da vise necu.. odlucila sam zanemariti svoje osjecaje... sad se brinem samo o osjecajima ljudi koje volim... i zelim da oni budu sretni... da sam gledala samo svoje osjecaje i ono sto mene cini sretnom, vjerojatno sad ne bih bila tu gdje jesam.. ali moj zivotni put doveo me ovdje i sad sam tu... prestala sam biti sebicna, cak i u onoj najmanjoj kolicini... ako me netko jos jednom razocara, mislim da se necu previse zamarati time...jedino sto bi me ubilo bio bi gubitak voljene osobe..
poanta ovog posta? ne postoji... ispreplice se previse mojih misljenja.. pa sto sam htjela reci, zakljucite sami.. odoh ja na kupanje.
24.07.2006. u 13:30 |
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Opis bloga
Bas moram pisati taj opis bloga? Dobro, pa... Blog ce, buduci da ga ne pise nitko pametan, biti pun gluposti, mozda mi izleti koja pametna, ali tesko...
jedna od meni najdrazih:
Sleeping Sun
The sun is sleeping quietly
Once upon a century
Wistful oceans calm and red
Ardent caresses laid to rest
For my dreams I hold my life
For wishes I behold my night
The truth at the end of time
Losing faith makes a crime
I wish for this night-time
to last for a lifetime
The darkness around me
Shores of a solar sea
Oh how I wish to go down with the sun
Sleeping
Weeping
With you
Sorrow has a human heart
From my god it will depart
I'd sail before a thousand moons
Never finding where to go
Two hundred twenty-two days of light
Will be desired by a night
A moment for the poet's play
Until there's nothing left to say
I wish for this night-time...
I wish for this night-time...
brojac od 10.6.2006.
MOJ BIJELI LABUDE
I bas me briga
ko te nocas vozi kuci,
briga me
I ako si i sretna ko sto kazes,
mada znam da lazes
sve to ubija me
Hmmm, grlim hladne jastuke
hmmm, moj bijeli labude
I briga me sto nisi mjesec,
a ni sunce, briga me
al' neces moci preko
blatne kaljuze
cista stic' do moje postelje
Hmmm, grlim hladne jastuke
Ref. 2x
Moj bijeli labude
kad me jednom ne bude
sve ce vode, labude
da se razbistre
I bas me briga
ko te nocas vozi kuci,
briga me
I ako si i sretna ko sto kazes,
mada znam da lazes
sve to ubija me
Hmmm, grlim hladne jastuke
Ref. 4x
Ja sam samo jedna luda romanticna dusa kojoj nema spasa... sanjar do boli... ako se ikad promijenim, znaci da mi se nesto gadno desilo... jer nisam osoba koja je sposobna nosit masku...
White Night Fantasy
Enchantress came to me and said:
Meet me at the lake tonight
I hummed this song to the white
Through the shroud of snow I saw
Paradise
Peace
No more lies
Crestfallen soul
Rest for this night
Love is here
Right here under my wings
I dream of wolves with them I run
For me she lengthened the night
I am home
I am in peace
Crestfallen soul
Rest for this night
Love is here
Right here under my wings
Molim vas, pomozite Zeki!!!
(__/)
(O.o)
(> < )
Ovo je Gothik - Sado Mazo - Zeko. Kopirajte ga na svoj blog i tako mu pomognite na njegovom putu do World Domination!!!
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Naj blogovi:
:: marriana ::
Vedrana
Jelena
Marija
unforgettable lady
Amy
heretik
V4MP1R3
Bestia
panic queen
nivblf
ledena kraljica
..kaya..
cat
Lambalicious
Lakeisha
Broken Crystal Doll
honorina
Kika
Laura
Sara
Anita
pjesma za mene:
Papa Roach "Sometimes"
I'm dreamin about tomorrow, I'm thinkin of yesterday, I consume myself in sorrow this moment in time is what I betray, I
am searching for the answers
[Chorus]
I look around sometimes I get sad, 'Cause I don't know which way to go, I look around sometimes I get sad, 'Cause my life
is spinning out of control
I never know what you want, I never know what you need, it was different from the start, when you cut me in two I never
thought I would bleed, but I am searching for the answers
[Chorus]
I will go this alone I don't need nobody's help, I've got to do this myself, Alone, Alone, Alone, Alone
[Chorus x2]
LET 3 - Dijete u vremenu
Gledam u tuznu jesenju noc
s pokisle grane lisce otpada
u daljini cujem muziku neku
i pitam sebe, gdje li si sada
Ja svakog dana proklinjem sebe
zasto te drugom prepustih lako
pjevao sam pjesme, nad'o se boljem
i bezbroj puta uz gitaru plak'o
Ref.
Nisi me voljela u ono vrijeme
a ja sam zelio samo jedno
sad kada nismo mi mladi k'o nekada
dodji da ostarimo zajedno
Da li jos pamtis ljubavi moja
kako smo ruze zajedno brali
gdje li si sada mladosti moja
zasto su tebe od mene ukrali
Achtung, Achtung
ein animalischen sex
mit die zwei penzioneren
sport und elegantisch
Oder extravagantisch
atention, atention
für die grosse erektion
liebe Penis, liebe zwei
liebe sex abnormal
Nisi me voljela u ono vrijeme
a ja sam zelio samo jedno...
nisi me voljela u ono vrijeme
a ja sam zelio samo jedno
sad kada nismo mi mladi ko nekada
dodi da ostarimo zajedno...
EPICA Dance Of Fate
When darkness will reign and blind us all
When darkness will reign and blind us all
Allegiance will bind us if we do not fall
We cannot tell when morning comes
Is there a choice to live another day?
It's hard to find a new direction in your fragile life
The precious time of your existence is now to come
Don't throw your life away by cheating time
Sugared placebos only fool your mind
Now I want the water to wash away all my sins
The wind to blow away my thoughts without meaning
The fire to burn away my thickened skin
When darkness will reign and blind us all
Allegiance will bind us if we do not fall
Novas portas pandimus
What is this pace, the type of dance?
I cannot tell which steps I have to take
I'd like to leave, just run away
My feet are tangled up
So hard to face the pace of the clock
What do you think; will it ever stop?
So will I fall and not get up?
I take it all in stride
Now I want the water to wash away all my sins
The wind to blow away my thoughts without meaning
The fire to burn away my thickened skin
Everything has a reason for its happening
Can't you tell it's your own spell and
Everyone has to dance this dance like anyone
Can't break free of destiny
We should open new doors and
Close the ones that we've left behind
Now I want the water to wash away all my sins
The wind to blow away my thoughts without meaning
The fire to burn away my thickened skin
When darkness will reign and blind us all
Allegiance will bind us if we do not fall
Novas portas pandimus
Et post nos occludimus
Nightwish - Feel For You
You were my first love
The earth moving under me
Bedroom scent, beauty ardent
Distant shiver, heaven sent
I'm the snow on your lips
The freezing taste, the silvery sip
I'm the breath on your hair
The endless nightmare, devil's lair
Only so many times
I can say I long for you
The lily among the thorns
The prey among the wolves
Someday, I will feed a snake
Drink her venom, stay awake
With time all pain will fade
Through your memory I will wade
Barely cold in her grave
Barely warm in my bed
Settling for a draw tonight
Puppet girl, your strings are mine
This one is for you for you
Only for you
Just give in to it never think again
I feel for you
Nightwish - Dead Gardens
The story behind the painting I drew is already told
No more tearstains on the pages of my diary
Tired but unable to give up since I`m
Responsible for the lives I saved
The play is done
The curtain`s down
All the tales are told
All the orchids gone
Lost in my own world
Now I care for dead gardens
My song is little worth anymore
Time to lay this weary pen aside
The play is done
The curtain`s down
"Where are the wolves, the underwater moon
The elvenpath, the haven of youth
Lagoons of the starlit sea
Have I felt enough for one man`s deed?
Or is it time to challenge the Ancient of Days
And let the virgin conceive"
All the tales...
Cradle of filth - Nymphetamine
Lead to the river
Midsummer, I waved
A 'V'' of black swans
On with hope to the grave
All through Red September
With skies fire-paved
I begged you appear
Like a thorn for the holy ones
Cold was my soul
Untold was the pain
I faced when you left me
A rose in the rain
So I swore to the razor
That never, enchained
Would your dark nails of faith
Be pushed through my veins again
Bared on your tomb
I'm a prayer for your loneliness
And would you ever soon
Come above unto me?
For once upon a time
From the binds of your lowliness
I could always find
The right slot for your sacred key
Six feet deep is the incision
In my heart, that barless prison
Discolours all with tunnel vision
Sunsetter
Nymphetamine
Sick and weak from my condition
This lust, a vampyric addiction
To her alone in full submission
None better
Nymphetamine
Nymphetamine, nymphetamine
Nymphetamine girl
Nymphetamine, nymphetamine
My nymphetamine girl
Wracked with your charm
I am circled like prey
Back in the forest
Where whispers persuade
More sugar trails
More white lady laid
Than pillars of salt
Fold to my arms
Hold their mesmeric sway
And dance her to the moon
As we did in those golden days
Christening stars
I remember the way
We were needle and spoon
Mislaid in the burning hay
Bared on your tomb
I'm a prayer for your loneliness
And would you ever soon
Come above unto me?
For once upon a time
From the binds of your holiness
I could always find
The right slot for your sacred key
Six feet deep is the incision
In my heart, that barless prison
Discolours all with tunnel vision
Sunsetter
Nymphetamine
Sick and weak from my condition
This lust, a vampyric addiction
To her alone in full submission
None better
Nymphetamine
Sunsetter
Nymphetamine (Nymphetamine)
None better
Nymphetamine
KORN - Thoughtless
Thumbing through the pages of my fantasies
Pushing all the mercy down, down, down
I wanna see you try to take a swing at me
Come on, gonna put you on the ground, ground, ground
Why are you trying to make fun of me?
You think it's funny?
What the fuck you think it's doing to me?
You take your turn lashing out at me
I want you crying with your dirty ass in front of me
All of my hate cannot be found
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
So you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the ground
I will see you screaming
Thumbing through the pages of my fantasies
I'm above you, smiling at you, drown, drown, drown
I wanna kill and rape you the way you raped me
And I'll pull the trigger
And you're down, down, down
Why are you trying to make fun of me?
You think it's funny?
What the fuck you think it's doing to me?
You take your turn lashing out at me
I want you crying with your dirty ass in front of me
All of my hate cannot be found
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
So you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the ground
I will see you screaming
All my friends are gone, they died (gonna take you down)
They all screamed, and cried (gonna take you down)
I've got my body, got my body back against the wall
I've got my body, got my body back against the wall
Gonna take you down
[repeat 2x]
I've got my body, got my body back against the wall
I've got my body, got my body back against the...
All of my hate cannot be found
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
So you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the ground
I will see you screaming
All of my hate cannot be found
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
So you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the ground
I will see you screaming
Missing
Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
Maybe someday you'll look up,
And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one:
"Isn't something missing?"
You won't cry for my absence, I know -
You forgot me long ago.
Am I that unimportant...?
Am I so insignificant...?
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?
[Chorus:]
Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?
Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
I know what you do to yourself,
I breathe deep and cry out,
"Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?"
[Chorus]
And if I bleed, I'll bleed,
Knowing you don't care.
And if I sleep just to dream of you
I'll wake without you there,
Isn't something missing?
Isn't something...
[Chorus]
