MIRIAM ROSE RE

ponedjeljak, 10.08.2015.

Basilisk, Croatian Princess and The Roman Prince

Once upon a time or it was nowdays I don´t remember I knew a princess that was prisoner by a Basilisk, an animal with a domed body, eight legs, a serpent´s tail and a rooster´s head wearing a crown. He was severe and vicious dragon. Basilisk was able to dive deep to the sea and had the ability to change his appearance. The antique Romans called him Regulus or Little King, not only because of his crown, but because he terrorized all other creatures with his deadly look and poison. The Basilisk took his home in rotten cellars on the darkest of all of the 1000 islands of Dalmatia, Korkyra Nigra. He slept over a 1978 years and one spring day he woke up, shook off the wings, opened his eyes and felt strong desire to fly to the mountains, and so he did.

Basilisk flew bathed in redness of the sunset over the green forests and golden fields, avoiding the highest mountain Velebit on which, he knew lived Fairies, of to the city which was called White Zagreb. He paused only once, because he was thirsty, drank the water below the large waterfalls of Plitvice, and washed the salt from the wings. Dipped his beak in the clear, green and blue water, struck several times his serpentine tail on the surface of the water and poisoned it with bitterness he carried inside his ugly body. But he did not know that he was not able to do severe pollution of the waterfalls because once upon a time one of the Fairies of Velebit, that lost her beloved one, Croat soldier, in one of the wars that took place in forests of Lika gave all her remaining Love to the lakes so they become blessed for the Eternity. After that sacrifice she made, she become mortal and spent the rest of her life in monastery praying.

Basilisk circled several times above the capital of the Republic. The city called White Zagreb was preparing to celebrate the birthday of the President of the Republic. Following the sound of music that originated from the terrace in the city centre Basilisk landed on the roof of a nearby building and began to carefully observe the crowd of young people.

He saw soft silhouette of a young girl in a long white dress. Her movements and graceful gait brought out some unknown feelings he held deep inside, buried behind his stoned hearth. He tried to isolate her scent from the multitude of scents that were irritated his nostrils. Somehow, her sent was sensual, but still fresh as a meadow in the early morning.

A Scent of a young girl aroused his senses that he did not even know existed. Used to instantly satisfy his urges, this time, he hesitated and in a way he was wondering why. He was completely taken away, unable to do anything other than to observe the black haired girl and absorbed her scent. Her scent was clearly given the knowledge that the girl was still unconscious of woman in her. That was that, he wanted this girl, the innocent flower of human life, for himself. Issued a decision, never before felt such an urge to do so, Basilisk waited minute or two and then firmly bitten his right leg and the blood began to flow. Basilisk volatile began to swallow his own blood and by that procedure, the transformation began. He lost consciousness from the attack of pain and passion, and by the act he did began the reshaping of its exterior. He was awakened by the rain drops that were flowing down his beautiful face of curly haired young man in his early twenties.

Unaware of the transformation that took place right next door, young people left the terrace because of the rain and pulled into a large room inside the popular nightclub. Basilisk or then a young handsome man jumped onto the terrace, put on the clothes he had just stolen from the balcony of a nearby house and entered the nightclub.

Following the scent of a young woman he found her. And there she was, standing in the centre of the room, surrounded by her friends but somehow like she was not of this world it seems like she was gliding over the floor. As he was, the creature of some other dimension, he suddenly recognized her hidden abilities and her potentials. She was born to serve and protect life in all its manifestations, both humans and all the other living creatures. Young and naive, girl was not aware of her blessing, or perhaps it was a curse, she was too young to know that at the time.

Basilisk approached her, looked her in the eyes and said: "I'm the one you're waiting, will you dance with me?" The magic of his eyes captured her thoughts until he was completely gripped them. Basilisk or handsome guy whom he became seduced her, married her and she gave birth to his sons. She loved Basiliks new shape and her sons.

While she was breastfeeding her sons, Innocent babies showed her what a true unconditional love is. Basilisk was pleased, it seemed to him as if he fully owned her but it was just an illusion. Periodically as the children grew Basilisk became increasingly nervous and from time to time he began to show its true nature. She felt his words as a poisonous arrows sticking in her heart but as she was unable to hate anyone or to see the dark shadows of souls, she believed that the Basilisk was good person and that he loved her. She didn´t see that he just wanted to possess her and dominate over her and their sons. One Christmas, after many years of married life, totally unexpectedly Basilisk seriously wounded her by words he spoken and actions he took.

At the time of that terrible pain, which opened almost palpable hole in her womb, poisoned veil fell from her eyes and torrents of logical thoughts flooded her mind. She tried to cover the whole in her spiritual body with both hands but the energy gap in her womb was not and could not shut down. Wounded and hurt, young wife silently sought help from her friends, Warriors of light. Only one Warrior of light has felt the size of her pain. He did everything he could and knew to help her. He wanted to file the resulting hole in her womb with the Energy of Light , but the only thing he did was that he managed to stop the flow of life from it. As the pain of the open womb strengthened and climbed toward the heart she was becoming more aware of the true meaning of Bazilisks temper and her resistance to his demands. Raised as a princess, she felt in herself the heritage of ancestors the Brave Knights and she was rather ready to die than allow anyone to take away her freedom to decide and protect right to free will of her sons, not even her commanding Basilisk.

Basilisk then, during a last quarrel showed her his true face for the first time. The pain she felt exceeded the limits of her endurance and threatened to kill her soul.

She was so tired of life and struggling and she decided to make energy Hara-kiri unaware of the danger she exposed herself into. She was naive and she thought that this procedure would stop the emotional and physical pain that has torn apart her body. Young wife and mother was hoping that she would become completely insensitive to any kind of feelings and that she could continue her life for the benefit of her children and all the other human beings. With her eyes blinded with tears, she looked to God and asked for forgiveness. She struggled for a month and then losing all hope she asked the Warrior of Light to give her energy sword. In delirium, carrying an energy sword in the hands she went to a crossroads where there was a crucifix. Once again, for the last time yearning for any hope of anything that will keep her alive she looked at the crucified Christ and asked for forgiveness.

She waited, she was not aware for how long, minutes seemed years. It seems as though a typical action she slowly raise the energy sword, stung the sword deep into her solar plexus and conducted energy Hara-kiri.
The tears ceased to flow, she tightly covered handle of the sword and started chopping down the wombs in the prescribed manner of Hara-kiri. When she thought she was done she slowly took the sword from the womb, thanked the Warrior of Light and dismissed him. Not knowing what exactly she did she let the legs take her home. It seemed as if nothing had happened but she felt the pain decreases. She returned home unaware that she stepped into the path of no return. She discovered that much later.

She also saw at that time, because she was released of any emotion of so ever, that Basilisk was hidden under the appearance of a tolerant husband but the real truth was that he didn´t care of anything but himself. It seemed that life would return to its normal course, but she was terribly wrong. Since no longer she felt almost anything, she did not even noticed that her Basilisk gradually draws vitality from her wanting her to start to age rapidly so that it could fully own her body and soul. One morning, almost completely dizzy she heard a doctor said to her that her internal vital organs were almost like dying ones. Remembered how and what she did suddenly her eyes yarned for tears but she had no tears left, her eyes stayed dry. At that particular moment, standing in front of the doctor she became aware of what she has done. She chopped all the vitally strings out her womb and she cut the energy paths. She was terrifying. She wanted her life back but she did not know how to correct the damage she did against the Life and God. She desperately needed a priest, but there was none. In order to redeem the sin against the Life and God she began exhausting battle for her life back.

Basilisk, the dragon who lay under the guise of a man with whom she was living was outraged and one night he took his original appearance and took her with his claws and imprisoned her in dungeon beneath the surface of the Adriatic Sea. The dungeon was situated close to the island of Vis, the one with the Blue cave in the Land of 1000 islands which she was a princess. Nobody knew what was happening but nobody even wanted to know. Her precious sons were far away and had no knowledge what was happening to their mother.

Croatian princess was dying, abandoned and humiliate, forgotten from her friends and family. She was tormented in every possible way. Was that a punishment, she did not know, but what was the sins? Was she not dragged to the life she lead, was she a bad person as a dragon used to say, what did she do wrong before she made that energetic suicide? She didn´t know and time began to pass slowly and changed to years. Hours of solitude left many scars on her face, body and tormented soul.

Basilisk visited her from time to time and only sentence he ever had spoken was: “ Your soul and body are my prisoners, you will listen to me and obey me, or you will die ! “Each time dragon visited her he put some more poison arrows to her. Several years have passed. She was neither alive nor dead lying naked on a cold rock covered with mussels. Her beautiful body became just a shadow of life which once streamed her veins. Her eyes were closed, face relaxed, seemed to be asleep, but only her dark hair was alive and it grew. Basilisk, like he was losing patience, spent less time in dungeon beneath the Adriatic Sea and more at White City on his work cultivating his seductive figure of a handsome, humble, benign man dedicated to the welfare of his business partners, relatives and friends.
One night or was it the day she heard the beautiful voices, so human and yet divine. The voices were singing about life, love, and simple joy and happiness. Did the beautiful voices belong to the sirens, or to the Adriatic bear, princess never learned. But, not surprisingly, the prison where she was imprisoned was in the same area where in ancient times lived sorceress Kirk . Kirk´s singing was seducing sailors. Seduced sailors who were intoxicated with her singing she held in the form of pigs on the island Corcyra Nigra. It is believed that the sirens or the Adriatic bears are her daughters so it's not surprising their divine singing and seductive look. The sirens sang about a young prince of black hair and blue eyes. Prince has lived as a vagabond. Young and beautiful, creative in his innocence of youth and playful he was not aware of the legacy he carried.

As the Basilisk was far away, sirens began to come every day and sometimes stayed the nights. Sirens strongly felt the presence of the captive princess. All they sang was about the beautiful prince and life he was leading. It looks as sirens know Prince personally but at those circumstances it was not of any importance. As time was passing, day by day her hair was getting longer and longer and her dreams about the young and playful prince became more and more alive. She started to dream about the young prince and she dreamed about the simple life she was leading with him. That was just a dream, but in those dreams she was living the full life, in those dreams she was young and beautiful as she was in her youth, in those dreams, unaware of the process, she started to heal her soul and body.
She learned from sirens songs that Prince was born in the shadow of the ancient arena in a big Roman city. As a godmother gypsy queen took him in her arms, looked into his blue eyes, blessed him and uttered, "I appoint you Healer of lonely and tortured/tormented human souls and that is why I am giving you the gift of eternal joy and happiness. Every wounded soul who sees herself in reflection of your eyes will be cured, and each dragon that confronts you will be tamed. That is going to be your blessing and your curse because life isn´t easy living.” She has said that and placed a child in his cradle, kissed him on a forehead, touched his black hair, smiled to him and went away and nobody had seen her ever again.

The child grew up surrounded by love of the parents and many relatives and friends… The blessed child became handsome blue eyed man and everybody he laid his eyes on and smiled felt sudden happiness that wiped all the tears they ever had. He was walking beauty of life itself. The very few that had a chance to live in his presence as his friends had the opportunity to live full life in joy and happiness. But to tell the truth early life for the Roman Prince was not so easy at it seems, yes, he had his ups and downs like everybody else, but somehow he always manage to find a way out form misery or poverty, he was extremely intelligent but stubborn. He loved his freedom the most so he did not make any compromises and worked only on jobs that was a kind of challenge to him. Although adult, he was honest, playful soul, kind and tender which lead him sometimes to games that provide adrenalin to his bloodstream but as he grew up he became wise and learned how to tame his character and desires. Before he gained his first grey hair he become rich, extremely rich and finally became aware of his gift to heal human souls and so he did. He cured not only the souls but he helped people in all their needs both material and spiritual. He travelled a lot and met many people, yes, that was, why there are so many stories of him and why sirens sang the songs of Roman Prince.

One day, at the down Princes opened her eyes and started to look around the cave. All she was able to see was tiny light that was coming from outside and the rock she was lying on. The sea was sparkling in early morning and the Sun was not out yet. Yes, it was the down of summer day and the air was hot and moisture. Sirens were gone and all she could hear was the sea coming up and down the rocks and callings of sea gals. She moved, stands on her feet and very slowly walked towards the entrance of the cage. At the moment she entered the dungeon, ray of sun caught her eyes and she instinctively put her hands on her face covering the eyes, she slipped and found herself in the arms of handsome blue eyed men. He prevented her from falling. Their eyes met and somehow it seems to them that they know each other for all their lifes s, it seems to them like they belong to each other and the time stopped at that particular moment. It was a moment that represented the door to unknown dimension, it was a moment when their souls recognized each other and started to communicate on the frequency of twin souls. It was so natural what happened that day. They did not say a single word, they did not kiss but they did make love enjoying and exploring the communications of their bodies, and they felt like living the dream or it was dreaming the living I do not know. The words were unnecessary, they communicated with their eyes and bodies, somehow they both knew that that day had no measure in time and that their communication belongs to another dimension, dimension of pure and innocent, everlasting Love, dimension where Life was born.

And the day changed into the night and sirens came to rest and sing. Princes and Roman prince were laying on the rock beach unconscious of anything but themselves, feeling peace in their hearts, peace they have never experienced before and everything seemed right and in order. They did not want to part because they somehow felt or knew the moment they would part the feeling of divine peace would vanish and time would start to tic tack again. Croatian Princess was brought to life and the task universe had given to Roman Prince was fulfilled.
The moment in which time stopped, the moment of Divine love and Peace was changed to night by a shadow that covered the Moon. Yes, the Moon was witness of the final battle that took place near the dungeon cave. Basilisk was flying through the night and his wings covered the Moon. He wanted to see and check his imprisoned wife. He was sure she was dead but wanted to see her lifeless body himself. He was so filled with his ego that he did not smell the bodies on the beach and he landed on highest rock thinking how glorious must be the sight of mighty dragon standing there in silver light of the Moon. He shook his wings, looked around and saw many sirens in circle, he hared them singing in divine voices and that occupied his attention. He walked down and by the time he reached the gathering, Roman Prince sensed the danger and stood up. He saw the Dragon coming slowly and he covered the Croatian Princess with his body. The Princess was standing behind his shoulders, she was trembling, she knew who was the dragon and she recognized her husband but somehow, although trembling she was stronger, much stronger then ever before.

Basilisk was descending the rock very slowly, his anger was raising in him each step he made, and his eyes were filled with hate. His wings were up and were gliding over the hot, night air. His tail was dancing the way his body moved. If that was not a life treating moment it would be a glorious sight, Dragon shaped by silver light of the Moon.
The Roman Prince was aware of danger of the look of Basilisk eyes. He recognised the Dragon, he knew his origin and his strength. It was the Dragon whose look makes all the living creatures to rocks. In that silver light of the Moon suddenly all the previous victims of Basilisk became visible. Roman Price started to recognise the shapes of the rocks on which Dragon stood as the shapes of living creatures severe Dragon captured and stoned long time ago. Yes, the Roman Prince was terrifying but he did not make a move, or wanted to hide. He was feeling the trembling body behind him and beating of Princess Heart, he was prepared to die for her, after all he was a Prince and she was a Princess … he was determined to defend their lifes.

The moment the Basilisk s look reached the eyes of Roman Prince the falling star lightened the Moon and the ray of light lightened the Basilisk body and Dragon saw his appearance in the reflection eyes of Prince reflected. And it was like he saw himself in the mirror or blue surface of the clear lake. The sorceress look Basilisk gave a Roman Prince just touched his blue eyes and turned back to Basilisk. The moment the deadly look turned back to Dragon Basilisk started his change to rock. Basilisk died like many of his victims before him, he finally experienced his own anger and hatred towards living souls.

Princess and Roman Prince just stood there and watched the severe transformation Basilisk took. He become the largest rock on the beach facing the sea, and sea and nature somehow, was aware of transformation that took place on the beach. The wind changed to South Wind Jugo and big waves started to shape the new rock. Sirens started to sing a new song and the two people on the beach saw themselves naked, not knowing what they were doing there.

They smiled to each other, covered the nakedness and separated with no words but with the calmness in their hearts. They knew something happened on that beach but they felt as reborn and that was all that was important to them that night. The time started to tick tack …They abandoned the beach smiling and facing the sunrise.
And that night changed to day, and the days changed to years …

What happened with the Roman Prince and the Princess, later? It would be nice if I can tell you that they lived happily ever after, together I mean … hahahaha but then this would be a fairy tail … no, it was life.
I read on internet that Roman Prince continued to lead his life to the benefit of all the tormented souls and it was constant joy and happiness around him. It says, also on internet that he gets married and had a nice family, yes he lived happy life and the more money he spent the more he earned, so he had never money problems. Hehehe to tell the truth, his attraction never expires, he was handsome man ever. And when his hair turned to white and his body reached the age when love touch is only a memory of passion, sometimes in a brief moment of dreams he remembered that night he conquered the Basilisk and he smiled.

What about the Croatian Princess? She took a journey around the world, visited many places and met many people and she was working like Natural Healer, Protector of Life . Her sons became famous and rich and lead good and happy lifes. And when her hair became white, and her body became fragile she sat at her home and wrote some books of dreams, desires, passion and Love that painted her Life. As once her astrologist predicted she became famous writer. Did she forgot that night , no she did not, after all she was a woman and woman never stops to dream about Love and Passion. But for her, encounter with Roman Prince was not a dream it was her life.





- 20:25 - Komentari (1) - Isprintaj - #

Slikanje u tehnici Word

DVÔRÍŠTA
Virtualno slikanje u tehnici Word


DVÔRÍŠTE

Nisam sanjala, ja sam se doista vratila u Zvonimirovu. Početak je mjeseca srpnja 2015.god. Lipe su ogormne i zeleni paravan krošnji zaklanja sunce. Na prvi pogled sve izgleda isto no to je samo prepoznavanje vibracije poznatog mjesta. Bit će da više ni jedno dijete, ne mjeri svojim malim stopalima, dužinu i širinu ovog zagrebačkog asfalta.

Zidovi koji razdvajaju/spajaju dvorišta opasno su nakošeni i neodoljivo, u svom odrazu u mojoj mašti, multipliciraju sliku kosog tornja u Pizi.

Slikarije na žbuci, prvi artistički, grafiterski performanse, mog brata Buca i našeg frenda Ive jos uvijek stvaraju privid portala na sivim zidovima. Plava boja mora i plavetnilo neba su isprane kišama i spojene u plavu fleku s tragovima narančaste boje, nekadasnjeg Sunca na zidu Snježaneizprekdvôríšta.

Zid koji nas dijeli od Mirninog dvorišta obilježen je ostatcima apstraktne slikarije koja zapravo nikad i nije bila zamišljena kao mentalni portal. Portal prema svjetovima različitim od sivila zagrebačkog asfalta.
Trava je zauzela svaku rupu u betonu. Neka budala je, jel kome drugome bi to palo na pamet, sagradila ogromno spremište za bicikle i sad kad bi i bilo djece u zgradi ne bi se mogla rolat po dvorištu ili igrat „ s gola na gol“. Spremište za 30 bicikala, svašta! U zgradi od deset stanova, pet je praznih, a u ostalima jedva da stanuje par ljudi sposobnih da voze bicikle.

Mačke... iz „Mirninog dvorišta“ dolazi hrpa mačaka, toga prije nije bilo. Popodne se njih šest, sedam sunča na limenom krovu spremišta za bicikle. Bljah, smrdi po mačkama.

Susjed U. s prvog kata žute zgrade, uvaženi akademski građanin u mirovini umjesto da plaši golubove, kao nekad, sad, u zadnjim dekadama svog života, baca predmete, koji.mu dođu pod ruku, kroz balkon. Već odavno ne uzgaja flanace rajčice u teglama. Nitko ne zna iz kojeg ih je razloga, uzgajao na balkonu.

Di je Pintarička? Žena koja se uredno, svakog ljeta, sunčala na prozorskoj dasci svoje garsonijere u bijeloj zgradi i postala zaštitnom slikom kvarta, nekom vrstom brenda. Naravno, sunčala se u grudnjaku ili ponekad u kombineu. Pintarička, žena iz čije garsonijere je svaki dan oko dva popodne probijao zvuk baćenja jaja. Govorilo se da to Pintarička priprema puding za svog muža veterinara. Ona je bila stasita žena, ko sestra blizanka pokojne Jovanke Broz, a on sitni muškarac, nekako okrugao i sav uvučen u sebe., Svakog dana čekao ga je svježi puding pojačan bademima, medom i svježim voćem, kad dođe s posla.

Djece nisu imali te je, kako sad razumijem, Pintarička morala nekako utući vrijeme, sunčanjem, kuhanjem ili polijevanjem vode na nas djecu koja smo preskakivali zid koji dijeli dvorišta. Haha da, tad nije bilo vodenih balona, jer da ih je bilo Pipinička bi sigurno bila najvjerniji kupac vodenih balona u najbližoj trgovini. Jedino njoj smo mi smetali kada smo hodali po zidu koji dijeli dvorišta. Ona jednostavno nije shvaćala koji je to gušt, hodati uspravno po vrhu zidova, dva metra iznad zemlje, bez ikakve zaštite. Pitam se, danas, kako su nam uopće to roditelji dopuštali? Mora da smo te vratolomije činili s takvom sigurnošću da nikome, ni od roditelja ni od susjeda, nije palo na pamet da nas u tome spriječi. Hahahah parcour, to zna svako zagrebačko dijete iz centra.

Ok, Saša je umro, mama je umla i što sad ? Zato sam valjda ovdje. Ne znam, kao da sam istovremeno ovdje i sada i onda, kao da u trenutku kad se tuga popne do očiju, oči zasuze i pojavi se druga slika, zvuk, miris ... igramo se, živimo cijeli svijet ovdje u ovom dvorištu. Je li to jedno od onih ljetnih, gluhih popodneva kad čekam da netko od djece izadje u dvorište ili ... ?

Šum vjetra u krošnjama lipa šapuće : „ Djeca su odrasla, Saša je umro i više nikada ništa neće biti isto osim u tvojim snovima, no ne boj se, mi lipe, smo ovdje i uvijek si dobrodošla u naš zeleni zagrljaj, ne boj se, mi te poznamo i volimo kao i prvog dana. Šššššš ... ljubav nije podložna vremenu ššššuh ne boj se, dođi i zeleni se s nama.“

Čekajte da prvo zapalim cigaretu i razmislim .... Ok ... Ok?, samo toliko mogu protisnut kroz glasnice? ... zar je u toj riječi sve što mi je na pameti ? Riječi kao da su zaglavljene negdje između želuca i grla i ne žele se materjalizirat. Niti ih gutam niti ih mogu probaviti. Stoje i kao klupko masnih niti namotavaju se oko srca. Želim ih razvući u potku kao što je mama rastezala niti sisala na ručno izradjenom tkalačkom stanu. Ali ja ne znam plesti vunu niti tkati tapiserije, ja jesam i nisam mama. Ja samo znam kukičati i vesti, ja samo znam kukicom zahvatiti niti vune ili emocija, kao da ih izvlačim iz bunara i onda ih vezem ili uplićem da oblikujuju odjevni predmet ili osmijeh kojim se prezentiram svijetu. Bojim se, što ako materjaliziram emocije u riječi, hoće li time sjećanja, tuga, dobiti novu dimenziju i više nikada neće biti samo moja? No kao da ta iskustva, ta ljeta i zime žele novi život, život u oku čitatelja. Mama je umrla i tek je sada prerezana pupčana vrpca, osjećam da tek sada ja, posve sama, trebam oblikovati individualni život.

Saša je umro, nema mjesec dana iza nje i kao da je to potvrda da trebam i ja nešto promijeniti no još ne znam što. Kaže Tibetanska knjiga mrtvih da mrtve treba pustit da odu, da ih ne smijem zadržavat u ovoj dimenziji, no kako da to napravim? Možda je pisanje način.

Slikat ću riječima, slikat ću fragmentima memorije po virtualnom platnu u tehnici Word i tako prevarit strah da ću ih sve zaboraviti, slikat ću riječima i ljude i događaje kako ih se sjećam, dodavat ću „boju“ sloj po sloj i vidjeti kako će izgledati to virtualno platno mog kvarta kod Đamije ( Meštrovićeve Đamije) .... pričam i pišem gluposti, jel da?

Ja samo želim pobjeći od tuge iz straha da će me požderati, kao i metastaze Sašu, tiho i ubojito iz zasjede.

Znam, slikat ću ljubav, slikat ću prijateljstvo, slikat ću ljude kako ih pamtim. Poklonit ću onda tu sliku svojim čitateljima jer ljubav nije podložna vremenu, ljubav se ne može umanjiti ali se dijeljenjem može povećati.

Majka se ne može zaboraviti kad sam ja ona i ona je ja. Frend ? On je bio ovdje prije mene, vozio me u kolicima po dvorištu ... dakle, ugrađen je u svaku moju misao, svjetonazor, sjećanja. Zajedno smo kroz desetljeća oblikovali individualne stavove prema životu. Svatko je uzeo onoliko i kako je njemu odgovaralo i dodavao sloj po sloj "boje" autoportretu.

Govorila je mama da sam se rodila onog ljeta kada se ubio Vojin brat, skokom s balkona, s četvrtog kata , u dvorište. Pao je, kazivala je, na nekakva drva složena za meni nepoznatu namjenu. Tog ljeta rodile su se i Maja i Dajana no iako smo rođene u razmaku od pet dana, u Petrovoj 13, naravno, upoznale smo se tek kasnije. Maja se doselila u našu zgradu kad je imala oko četri godine, a Dajana je moja sestrična s kojom sam išla na balet. Uvijek me intrigiralo to pitanje, gdje je pao taj fantomski lik, na koji dio dvorišta?, nikad nismo saznali ni kako se zvao, samo da je bio mlad i da je jednostavno skočio u vječnost i to je to. Ne, ne luta zgradom, nikad ovdje nije bilo duhova.

Sada, nakon godina i godina provedenih u alternativi pouzdano znam da u ovoj zgradi jednostavno nema duhova, možda pokoja aura bez tijela koja tu i tamo zaškripi u drvenim vratima ormara no ništa opasnije od tog.

Čini mi se kao da moje vrijeme ovdje u Zvonimirovoj počinje onog dana kada sam prošavši haustorom ugledala poluotvorena vrata stana na prvom katu, naše crvene zgrade, stala sam i ..... vrata su se otvorila. U okviru vrata stajala je curica, moje visine, crnokosa kao i ja i smješila mi se. Pogledale smo se i prepoznale kako samo iskrene dječje duše mogu i zauvijek postale prijateljice. Da, moj život u zvonimirovoj počeo je tog trenutka, sve prije kao da je neka blijeda slika bez boje.

Lipe u „oficirskom dvorištu“ ogromne su no i dalje su predivne i zelene. Te krošnje čuvaju dah vjetra, te krošnje dišu duboko kao šuma, te krošnje znaju tajnu Narnijskog ormara i kad god sam poželjela pauzu od učenja uronila bih u te krošnje i one bi moj pogled pustile da putuje granama kao kakvim autocestama sve dok se ne bih stopila sa zelenilom i lipe su bile ja i ja sam bila šuma lipa.

Danas dok ih gledam posve su iste, najbliža mom dvorištu i danas izgleda kao da je najmlađa, njeno lišće i krošnja su manje i nekako nježnije u odnosu na ostala stabla. Kao da je ona djevojka, a ostale lipe su jake, muške, mudre i ozbiljne. Njihovo lišće i krošnje su veće i tamnije zelene. Hm, jesam li ja kao ova mala zelena lipa? Ako ne bude ozbiljnih građevinskih zahvata, ovdje u centu, ha ... jednog ljeta ću i ja bit samo sjećanje u krošnji ove graciozne svijetlo zelene lipe.

Taj park/dvorište pripada sivoj zgradi u kojoj su stanovale obitelji aktivnih vojnih djelatnika bivše Juge i poneki djelatnik za kojeg nismo točno znali što radi no bili smo sigurni da sve zna prije svih ostalih i da, kako sam tek puno, puno godina kasnije skužila, štiti nas teenagere i onda kada mi to ne znamo. Uvijek sam se pitala kako je moguće da netko iz moje generacije srednjoškolaca ima problema zbog uvjetno rečeno „verbalnog delikta“, a ja sam uvijek bila slobodna i mogla sam govoriti i filozofirati što god mi je padalo na pamet pa i namjerno ono za što sam unaprijed znala da se javno ne smije govoriti ( tipa moja čuvena izjava u školi bila je da je komunizam bez veze jer tko bi normalan želio da hoda npr. istovjetno obučen kao i svi ostali i da nema apsolutnu slobodu da bude drugačiji od ostalih ili jednostavno da je komunizam kao neko buduće idealno društvo , nemoguća misija jer ljudi su takvi kakvi jesu i nikad neće pristat da dijele išta s drugima samo iz razloga kako bi svima skupa kao zajednici bilo dobro i bla bla sve u tom stilu). Jadni moj mladi profesor filozofije N.S. nije želio komentirati moje stavove što je mene rastuživalo, jer teenagerice kakva sam ja bila u to vrijeme, obožavaju dokazivati da su intelektualno dorasle svojim profesorima, dobro, barem u slobodnoj diskusiji u razredu.

Puno, doista puno godina kasnije sam shvatila da me najvjerojatnije štitio iz sjene tata od M. ili politička funkcija mog oca na njegovom poslu jer sumnjam da je itko prošao nekažnjeno na to da je jednostavno rekao moćnicima partije, kao što sam to ja učinila : „ ... jeste li vi normalni, ne pada mi na pamet da budem aktivni pripadnik Civilne zaštite i da moram hodat u tom očajno skrojenom zelenom odijelu, ne dolazi u obzir i baš me briga što ste me izabrali za voditelja, NEĆU i točka! „ Pa imala sam samo 18 godina i kako su mogli očekivat od mene da hodam u nekakvom kombinezonu koji je podsjećao na radnički, po cesti, u centru grada, bilo me sram to obući. Nisam se nikad učlanjivala u bilo koju političku organizaciju niti onda niti sada iz jednostavnog razloga što mrzim obveze dolazaka na sastanke i slična politička okupljanja, jednostavno mi je milija sloboda.

Sloboda ... da, to zagrebačko dvorište i susjedna dvorišta trokuta koji zatvaraju Zvonimirova ulica ( bivša Ulica Socijalističke revolucije), Šubićeva i Stančićeva ulica bilo je, ali i sad je polje slobode u svim pojavnim dimenzijama, bilo duhovnim bilo fizičkim. U njemu smo uvijek bili slobodni i zaštićeni, sigurni u sebe, hrabri da vodimo "ekspedicije" i osvajamo različite svjetove i dimenzije.

Naučili smo da možemo sve što poželimo no i da je sloboda ograničena, bilo da nećeš učiniti ništa nažao živom stvoru do sebe, bilo da je individualna sloboda ograničena osobnim sposobnostima i talentima te fizičkim tijelom u kojem stanujemo.

Da, bilo je vrijeme u kojem smo bez straha hodali po zidovima ali i vrijeme kada smo se prestali penjat u prekdvorišta iz jednostavnog razloga što smo se počeli bojati da naši udovi više nisu toliko gipki i sigurni za slobodno penjanje.

Volimo to dvôríšte, kao brata ili sestru, kao prijatelja, kao čuvara svega što mi, djeca iz dvorišta danas jesmo.

Dvôríšte danas jasno otkriva sve svoje dimenzije, jer tek sada ih mogu vidjeti, a onda sam ih samo naslućivala.
Ono je duhovni dom, ognjište, u kojeg se u duhu uvijek možemo, ako to želimo, iznova vraćati i grijati srca.


Oznake: slikanje u tehnici Word

- 19:53 - Komentari (1) - Isprintaj - #

Sljedeći mjesec >>

Creative Commons License
Ovaj blog je ustupljen pod Creative Commons licencom Imenovanje-Bez prerada.

  kolovoz, 2015 >
P U S Č P S N
          1 2
3 4 5 6 7 8 9
10 11 12 13 14 15 16
17 18 19 20 21 22 23
24 25 26 27 28 29 30
31            

Ožujak 2017 (2)
Veljača 2017 (1)
Travanj 2016 (1)
Veljača 2016 (3)
Listopad 2015 (1)
Kolovoz 2015 (2)

Dnevnik.hr
Gol.hr
Zadovoljna.hr
Novaplus.hr
NovaTV.hr
DomaTV.hr
Mojamini.tv

Slikanje u tehnici Word


Linkovi