la vida termina

I have thought so many thoughts
most of them I have forgotten
I have thought so many thoughts
and I thought they were mine
I have felt so many feelings
and I know they are all mine
They rage in my belly
they strip me naked
and feed me to the demons
and monsters with big smiles
I have known many things
most of which I have learned
I have learned many things
most of them are wrong

Am I to be ashamed for being naďve
Am I to be ashamed for dreaming
Am I to be ashamed for all the reasons I can think of to why I do not fit in this idea
I don't want to hate you, Stepmother!
You have never wanted me and I never wanted you
but I am trying to love you and it is wearing me out
I am trying not to care whether you love me or not
and it is wearing me down