In medias res

Hmmm. Hmmmmmmm. Danas je bio opet dosadan dan. Još dosadniji nego jučer. Cijelo me vrijeme boljela glava i moram učiti a ništa ne znam. Fuj škola. Mislim da malo pretjeruju što nas u tolikim količinama zatrpavaju informacijama, ali kako promijeniti svijet? Promijeniti sebe?
Nda, gdje sam stala? U busu sam pričala sa jednom frendicom i shvatila koliko mi zapravo ide na živce. Mislim da sam jako pretjerala što sam ovo rekla, ali jednostavno sam smatrala da je ona dosadna ženska koja ne može zatvoriti usta ni na 3 sekunde. Sad mi je žao zbog toga. Pitam se kada sam postala tako kritična prema drugima. Pa i prema sebi. Svijet više nije ono što je bio, niti če ovakav ikada postati. Iskoristi trenutak, to je moje geslo. A ja sada naklapam o bezvrijednim stvarima i asocijacijama koje mi samo prolaze glavom. Zapravo nisam ništa lošija od nje, moje frendice koja mi je tako išla na živce. Ali vrlina je praštati, zar ne? A ja sam joj oprostila. Jer, žao mi je tih ljudi. Žalim ih. Zato ih volim.
U busu je pričala sa još jednom curom iz razreda. Pričale su o "nečemu" što nije nitko smio znati, i stalno su ponavljale riječi kao što su "ma znaš, ono" i "ovo" i sl. To mi je tako išlo na živce. Čak i da znam o čemu se radi, zar misle da bi njihove teme zanimale i druge? Ili da ja uopče želim znati o čemu se radi? Naravno da me povrijedilo to njihovo držanje, ali bila sam bezosječajna kao i uvijek. Samo hladna maska koja skriva hladnu dušu. Bez osječaja. Čak mi je i majka jednom rekla da u zadnje vrijeme nije vidjela kako plačem. Pa zar to mora biti javno i svima vidljivo? Ma, možda i jesam bezosječajna. Ali obožavam sarkazam. To je maska iza koje se skrivam. I nije mi žao zbog toga. To je kao maska koja spašava. Super-maska, da, usudila bih se tako je nazvati. Sarkazam, I love you!

Kako je danas bio smotan dan... Dosada i umor zajedno izmješani u paklenom vremenu. Dakako, nije bilo baš prevruće, samo negdje -20tak stupnjeva Celzijevih. Dosada, dosada, dosada. I upravo tata u sobi gleda neki film sa onim tipom blesave glazbe istočnjačkih naroda. Dakako da nemam ništa protiv takve glazbe, samo mi ide na živce. Inače smatram da je vrlo lijepa. U normalnim granicama. Ali neću sad o tome. Stala sam kod jutra... Popodne je bilo malo bolje, dijelom jer sam spavala i odmorila se, a dijelom jer sam sjela za kompjuter i malo listala fileove i neke stranice koje sam skinula sa interneta.
Ah, sad sam već došla do poslijepodneva, a nisam spomenula da je danas bio veliki post. Od kojeg kod mene nije bilo ničega, jer sam ujutro još u polusnu kupila sendvič sa parizer salamom, i tek nakon što sam ga pola pojela su me frendovi upozorili da je danas post. Stala sam kao ukopana, jer sam skroz zaboravila na to, tako da sam zaglavila ruku na pola puta do usta, i nisam znala šta bi. Na kraju sam jednostavno nastavila jesti sendvič. Sad je bilo gotovo, pa mi je bilo svejedno. Popila sam i malo soka. Od jedne cure sam čula da se smije jesti bijelo meso za post. Koja glupost. Ako post znači dan na kruhu i vodi, ne vidim gdje ima mjesta za bijelo meso. Ili meso uopče. Sve što je od životinja ne jede se u postu. Ali njoj je to rekao svečenik i ona mu slijepo vjeruje. Vjerovatno on ne voli post opčenito, pa se želi uvjeriti da ono što on radi nije protiv pravila, pa uvjerava i druge oko sebe da se meso smije jesti. Kakve mi ljude imamo u Crkvi.

Danas je bilo strašno hladno... A kažu da dolazi globalno zatopljenje... pih!

Obožavam svoju macu... Ima lijepe šare i smotana je skoro kao ova koju vidite na slici...

Ako je svijet samo kuglica, hoće li se ona jednom razbiti?

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