*un*stability
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I think it's time for a new post. Not that anyone reads what I have to say, or anything, don't be mistaken. "How to Build a Time Machine". A title that provoked my attention the very second i descried it. It stood amongst a dozen new books the British Council has acquired with the soul purpose of rising up to the respectable standards my fellow citizens set each year. Ok, so that sentence hardly made any sense, but let us move on. The respective book does, in fact, hold instructions on how to build a time machine. Anyone who knows me at all should by now realise i hate physics more than i hate broccoli and that's a pretty concerning degree of hate since i would rather eat my own parents than broccoli. Now this book. This remarkable book. It made me love physics. Which leads me to the following thought- if something so unimportant and so small like the respective book has the power to change my whole way of thinking about a certain issue, a way of thinking i have been developing for the last 15 years or so, and all in a matter of minutes, that would mean I am a very unstable person, unstability being the one thing I thought my multiple personalities all lack. The more I think of it, the more it becomes clear to me that I am in fact a most unstabile and unsure person. Sure, I fought the power in my days. But I never meant a word I said. Ever. It was...false stability. The more I think of it, all my fazes were just a...mask. A mask to hide the unstability which has been hiding at the core of my multiple personalities for a whole decade now. The time I told Nina (*former*dance teacher) she was a bitch for not letting me show what I can do on the dancefloor when at the same time she let everyone else. She hated me. I thought I hated her. But deep down in side, she frightened me. So I told her she was a bitch. It felt so Donnie Darko. Then this other time I opposed the principle. That's right. He caused a scandal over something, it was a long time ago, don't remember anymore, and he claimed it wasn't his fault, and everyone believed him, so I sistematically layed down some simple facts showing it was, in fact, his fault. And everyone had heard me. Now *that* was the ultimate proof I wasn't unstable. The thought in everyone's mind was- "boy, that maja chick is stability incarnated". Now *that* was a Donnie Darko moment. For everyone else. For me it was just...a mask. I'm writing this to once again prove to myself that I'm not unstable. But I am. I'm so unstable I should *insert the rest of the lame joke here*. APDEJT Ovim putem samo želim izraziti svoje žaljenje zbog podlih laži i neistina koje sam nedavno objavila. Naime ja, Maja, pišući post o koncertu u szigetu, izrekla sam gomilu neoprostivih hereticizama i svetogrđa.Naime napisala sam da je Radiohead BOLJI od Pink Floyda i time ne samo povrijedila neke drage mi osobe, već i zaslužila da nikad ne vidim, čujem, dotaknem članove Pink Floyda uživo, nikad ne dobijem PULSE dvd, nikad više ne sviram i slušam pink floyd pjesme, nikad više na engleskom(u staroj vlaškoj) ne spomenem riječ pink floyd i sve povezano s navedenim, nikad se više obratim heleni s riječi pink floyd u ustima, da slučajno, ja, krivovjernica nad krivovjernicama, ne pomislim još i kupovati pink floyd cd-e, već da, kako bih ispravila svoju krivnju, doživotno slušam solo albume rogera watersa(usput se divim slikama njega i njegovih golih, žilama ukrašenih ruku), da ne spomenemo da moram iznova i iznova preslušavati britney spears, beyonce knowles, spice girls, hilary duff(etc.) albume, čitati gomilu knjiga dinka šimunovića. Vrhunac moje zabave bit će pisanje danielu radcliffu i svakodnevno slinjenje nad njegovim posterom u onim slatkim naočalama koje nosi kad glumi harrya pottera, maštat ću da prstima prolazim kroz njegovu kosu onako kako bih inače maštala da prolazim ricku, ali budući da sam izigrala njegovo povjerenje, preostaje mi jedino da čamim u svojoj mračnoj sobici ignorancije i zatucanosti. e da, i družit ću se, a s kim drugim, nego s trendseterima iz svoje bivše škole (yo, oni su tak fora, curo!). Nadalje, maknut ću onaj prelijepi pink floyd poster s golim ženskama sa zida moje sobe (mora ostati mjesta za daniela), poderati ga dok mržnja preuzima moje tijelo, zapaliti, gaziti nogama, naravno isti postupak ponoviti i s pink floyd live at pompeii dvd-om, a kad sam već krenula s pink floydom, mogu nastaviti i s bobom dylanom. Tako ću jednoj osobi koju mrzim(samo ja znam o kome je riječ) pokloniti no direction home i sve knjige o bobu dylanu. Za kraj, ovim putem još ti se jedanput ispričavam, helena(ms.floyd), moja voljena dušice. Nadam se da će sve ove moje kazne biti korisne te da ćeš mi jednog dana oprostiti. samo jedna kratka rečenica sposobna je upropastiti cijeli život |
