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G*U*L*I*S*T*A*N
19.04.2005., utorak




David Warren Carter and Robert DuVernet Parker were married yesterday in Cambridge, Mass. The Rev. Dr. Duncan D. Newcomer, a Congregational minister, officiated at the home of Mr. Carter's mother, Shirley C. Brewer.

Mr. Carter is 55. He is an architect in private practice in New Haven. He graduated from Oberlin College and received a master's degree in architecture from Yale.

Mr. Parker, 54, is the director of ACES Educational Center for the Arts, a magnet high school in New Haven offering programs in the visual, performing and literary arts. He graduated from Southern Connecticut State University and received a master's degree in art and literature from Wesleyan University.

Mr. Carter and Mr. Parker met in the summer of 1986 at a dinner party. The host, Mr. Carter said, was "doing a little matchmaking," and thought he and Mr. Parker would get along because they were roughly the same age, were both recently divorced and were both fathers - Mr. Parker has a son and Mr. Carter a daughter, both 7 at the time.

Who asked whom out on their first official date is now forgotten, but both men clearly remember what they found so attractive about the other.

"I thought David was handsome, intelligent and sure of what was important to him, for instance, career and public service of some sort," Mr. Parker said. "I also liked the fact that it was important to him to do something creative. He was a potter before he became an architect."

Mr. Carter said: "Although we grew up in different parts of the country, we seemed to have similar relationships with our families. That is, there were no big issues."

Four months after being introduced, Mr. Parker and Mr. Carter decided to get serious. Mr. Carter had been living with a roommate in a house in New Haven. When the roommate moved out, Mr. Carter asked if Mr. Parker would like to move in.

"It was clear that our lives could accommodate what was important to both of us," Mr. Carter said. "We enhanced each other and made room for one another."

Another important part of the equation was their children. Because Mr. Carter and Mr. Parker both shared custody with their former wives, it was important that the children get along.

"It was kind of a risk to bring our kids together," Mr. Parker said. "When you've changed their living status relatively recently, it can be nerve-racking to change their lives again. So we carefully went through the steps of introducing them. We would go on hikes together, go to the local playgrounds together and do other kid-friendly things. They got along just fine, and we were on our way to creating our blended family."


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