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METAL FAIRYTALES

POWER METAL
The protagonist arrives to the castle on a white horse with wings, avoids the dragon, saves the princess and finally they run away and make love.

TRUE METAL
The protagonist arrives at the castle and defeats the dragon in a terrible battle using his sword. Then he makes love to the princess covered with the dragon’s blood.

THRASH METAL
The protagonist arrives at the castle, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her.

HEAVY METAL
The protagonist arrives at the castle riding a Harley Davidson, kills the dragon, drinks some beers along with the princess and when they are both drunk, have sex.

FOLK METAL
The protagonist arrives at the castle with several friends, playing the accordion, laud, mandolin, fiddle and other odd instruments. The dragon, after dancing the whole night, falls asleep. In the morning they leave the
castle with the dragon...forgetting the princess.

VIKING METAL
The protagonist arrives at the castle in a ship, kills the dragon with an axe, cooks and eats him. Then he rapes the princess, ransacks the castle and sets it on fire before leaving.

DEATH METAL
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess, kills the princess and leaves.

BLACK METAL
He arrives at dawn, in a deep fog, kills the dragon and impales him in front of the castle. After that, he sodomizes the princess, cuts her up with a knife and drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her. Later on, he realizes that the princess wasn’t a virgin and impales her besides the dragon.

GRINDCORE
He arrives, kills the dragon, climbs the tower, rides the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the princess again, sets her body on fire and fucks her one more time.

DOOM METAL
Arrives at the castle, looks at the size of the dragon, gets depressed and kills himself. The dragon eats the protagonist’s body and then eats the princess too.

NU METAL
Arrives at the castle and boasts about his fighting skills and his ability to beat the dragon. Then he is hammered by the dragon and gets deeply depressed. After, he runs away and finds the princess in the forest, and tells her about his tragic childhood. The princess slaps him in the face and goes to look for the "Heavy Metal" protagonist. The Nu metal protagonist tales some Prozac and records a "Best Of...".

ROCK N’ROLL
Arrives on a motorbike, smoking a joint, which he offers to the dragon, who he knew from a party. Then installs a tent in the rear of the garden, calls the princess and after a few hours of sex, drugs and rock and roll, takes some LSD, overdoses and dies, choking on his own vomit.

HARD ROCK
Arrives at the castle in a red Cadillac with two blondes with big boobs, drinking Jack Daniels. Kills the dragon with a knife and then has an orgy with the blondes and the princess.

GLAM
Arrives at the castle. When the dragon looks at him, the dragon begins laughing and lets him get in. When in the castle, our protagonist steals the princess's lipstick. Later on, convinces the dragon to paint the castle pink and to take some cocaine.

PUNK
Throws a stone at the dragon. Paints a big A on the castle wall. Shaves
the princess's head and sets up a fanzine and a merchandising stand in the
castle corridor.

PROGRESSIVE
Arrives playing a 26 min virtuosity guitar solo, the dragon is so bored he dies. After that, he goes to the princess and plays another guitar solo, exploring every compass technique and scale he learned in college. The princess runs away looking for the Heavy Metal protagonist

Ok, u petak sam bio u famoznom splitskom klubu Kocka (nešto kao stara bolnica samo puuuno veće i ne tako zagušljivo)
Svirala je Febra sa još par nebitnih bendova i bilo je PREJEBENO dobro.
Otišo sa dva prijatelja koje sam jedva nagovorio da bi oni otišli ća prije glavne svirke, u kurcu skroz...Ipak bilo mi je fenomenalno iako sam ostao sam, vidio nekoliko poznatih ljudi...
Svaka čast febri! ae bog

p.s. čak i u Kninu vole febru...čovječe

svi mi govore kako je vrijeme za novi post e pa evo ga i ne forsirajte jer savršenstvo se ne može forsirat



NOVI POST.

hepi?

Od ostalih vijesti:

Sad igra ajduk protiv dinama (20:05 HRT2)
Cimerče napiso novi post, radi se o manipulacijom snickersa u kombinaciji s lijepim Đevojkama (ne pitaj, samo čitaj)
Mon'tor prenosi:
-Uhićen general Zagorac
-Iranci tiskali novčanicu s nuklearnim simbolom (ti stvarno traže probleme, neka najebat će ameri)

Komentirajte vot eva

~::Ova&Aut::~

Nakon duuugo vremena bez izlazaka, odlučio sam tražiti pravo na prenočište sa subote na nedjelju... Razlog više za izlazak je rođendan mog prijatelja Ivana (sretan ti rođendan) koji NEMA svoj blog jer se boji da će ga internet otuđit od vanjskog svijeta. Navodi mene kao najbolji primjer (wtf!!??). Izašao sam mokre glave, što se poslije pokazalo kao odličan jebeni potez...Naravno puhao je vjetar pa mi je bilo još bolje! Otišli smo nešto po'est u menzu, pa smo se tek onda bacili na šoping. Uzeli smo vina, brandya i votke. Otišli na Bačwice i tamo počeli pit, u međuvremenu počela padat kiša itd itd...Otišli u O'Hare, koja se ispostavila kao prvoklasno SRANJE. Odma sam otišao natrag i pojeo putem burek od mesa...Nemojte to nikad u Splitu radit, bureci su im u kurcu. Cijeli dan danas je odlično isplaniran, ali je realizacija malo zaštekala i da je bila malo bolja, dan bi bio odličan. Ovako je bio jedan sasvim prosječan dan, u kojem sam potrošio natprosječno puno para...


Evo što je danas i juče bilo...

Monitor prenosi: Hajduk tukao Šibenika 3:0, Dado Topić pobijedio na Dori!
Bravo Dado!

Cimer - Darth Darius nije ništa novo napisao, ALI opasno se približava brojci od 40 posjetitelja. Još malo pa će me prešišat (fat chance bitch)

Meni je jako teško u životu, osjećam se tako izdanim od svih, profesori me ne vole, nitko me ne voli, samo me moje pink all starke razumiju...

~::Over&Out::~

Nakon čak četiri (4) dana, odlučio sam napisati dugoočekivani drugi post. Naravno, sve za vas moji fanovi (scream for me blog.hr!). Dakle krenimo!
Neki dan nam je došla neka faca. Kako to obično i biva, odma se bacio na pregled prostorija (sobe, dnevni boravci, kuhinje). Naravno, nešto nije bilo u redu pa je puko ko kokica. Zbog jedne stvari smo svi ispaštali...U detalje neću ulazit, ali ću reć da mi je pun kurac kolektivne odgovornosti! Zašto bi ja ispaštao zbog nekog drugog? Ja sam svoje odradio i to dobro, ali ako netko drugi neće onda neka ne radi pa će imat problema. Ali neeee, amo svima stvorit problem i svih sjebat! Toliko od mene, digli su mi se nervi idem zapalit...

Današnja događanja:

Monitorče nam prenosi: Grobar zadavio pa pokopao u tuđi grob svoju djevojku. Bože gdje svijet ide..
Moj cimer Darth je napisao još veću pizdariju od ove zadnje, ali je hvala Bogu kraća ovaj put...

Komentirajte ljudi!

P.S. Prihvatite izazov, postanite časnik! Super nam je!