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Ime: Laura
cudna je... povucena, blesava...
voli tog jednog prekasnog decka...
sve bi napravila za njega
i sve vas voli da ne zaboravim :)
nije sigurna u sebe, ne vjeruje nikome, pa ni sebi... iznenaduje samu sebe svojim ponasanjem... luda je
MSN/mail
laura16anna@hotmail.com
slobodno mejlajte il dodajte...
×X MJERE I SLIČNO X×
visina: 179
02.11.2008. - novi pocetak
oko 66 kg
×X CILJEVI X×
64 -
63 -
62 -
61 -
60 -
59 -
58 - najveca zelja
2.11. +
3.11. +
4.11. +
5.11. +/-
____
6.11.
7.11.
8.11.
9.11.
×XLEPTIRICEX×
nekadasnje i sadasnje:
Ambra
Just me
Ne težim za savršenstvom, samo želim smršaviti
Samo želim biti lijepa
Thin Fantasy
Baby Ana
Nesretna i debela
Yellow
Tia
crvena
I wanna be thin...
debela sam
Anna Freak
*look what they have done to my dream*
ghetto girl
UN-kica
Mulla
Miss Ana
Smjer Ilica
Best friend to Anna
Apple
Be my baby
Jedna od mojih najdrazih:
Beautiful_disorder :)
Chat:
Leptirice chat
Ovo nemojte shvacat Pro-ana jer ja nisam Proana... ovo je samo za cure koje poremecaj u prehrani vec imaju i dobro znaju kaj je to i kak je to.... nadam se da ce vam pomoc bar malo....
1.) ne preporucam vaganje svaki dan... voda i sve to... radije svaka 4-5 dana
2.) uvijek morate imat cilj, bez cilja cete jako brzo odustat
3.) ponekad je osjecaj gladi najljepsi osjecaj...
4.) zabavite se necim... napravite si manikuru, provedite dan u shopping-centru, zabavljajte se... samo da ne mislite na hranu
5.) nemojte govorit drugim ljudima da ne jedete... pocet ce vas uvjeravat da vam treba hrana, da niste normalni i na kraju ce se udaljit od vas jer nece znat kaj da naprave s vama
6.) ako se zelite nekom povjerit il vam je tesko, sigurna sam da ce barem jedna leptirica saslusat i pomoc... ja sam uvijek tu za vas
7.) nemojte gladovat pa se navecer prezderat... jedino kaj s tim dobijete je uzaaassaaannn osjecaj krivnje, isti tren se osjecate duplo deblje i na kraju pošizite do kraja... radije jedite malo tijekom dana umjesto gladovanja i recite NE
8.) pisite postove redovito... pomaze i vama da pratite kilazu, osjecaje, promjene i da razmisljate o necem drugom, a pomaze i curama koje citaju
9.) nadite neku svoju mantru... ponavljajte ju kad vam je tesko i kad vidite da neide dalje... nek vam to da snage da nastavite
10.) thinspiration... predivna stvar.. svakoj od vas preporucam bar jednu sliku mrsave cure u novcaniku il na zidu...
11.) nemojte se zavaravat s tim da su sve kalorije iste... mozda uneses 500 il kolko vec kalorija dnevno, al nije isto dal je to 500 kalorija špeka, čipsa i čokolade il 500 kalorija jabuka i naranči, kaj ne? zato pazite i na kvalitetu i masnocu hrane, ne samo kalorijsku vrijednost
12.) ZLATNI SAVJET... ako dulje vrijeme ne jedete il jedete npr. samo naranče il nesto kiselo vrlo vjerojatno dobijete žgaravicu ili bolove u zelucu il nesto... sir pomaze... samo kockicu nekog mrvicu masnijeg sira pojedite i odma ce bit bolje... puno bolje nego da (na vjerojatno jaaako prazan zeludac) pijete tablete...
to bi bilo to, dodat cu jos toga kad smislim nesto pametno :D
DEAD CELEBRITY STATUS
"Someone I Once Knew"
She wasn't born anorexic, but nowadays she suffers,
staring at these half-naked stars on magazine covers.
feeling pressured by the public.
She only weighs 90 pounds but still sucks in her stomach.
On the inside she's dieing, lying to herself, thinking:
- 5 more pounds won't jeopardize my health.
One day she might just collapse, she can't avoid it.
Too many sleepless nights spent bent over a toilet.
Spewing vomit, like she was an alcoholic.
Praying to a God she never believed in to stop it.
Hasn't eaten in weeks, drinks water by the heaps.
Now she looks like the skeleton she sees in her closet.
So close to death she can taste it, body looks wasted.
Hates life, hates you, hates the way she looks naked.
Now she's feeling drowsy, lousy,
thinking maybe this world's better off without me
I'm so sorry for all that I've done,
I'm so sorry for what I've become.
I'm so sorry, so sorry for wasting your time,
I can't hold you back 'cuz I'm losing my mind.
I'm so sorry for all that I've done,
I'm so sorry for what I've become.
I'm so sorry, so sorry for wasting your time,
I can't hold you back 'cuz I'm losing my mind.
She's staring at her belly, she's so scared to touch it,
imagining the feeling when it kicks inside her stomach.
Too late for safe sex, should have used a latex.
She can't afford a baby on minimum wage paychecks.
Her waistline climbs by inches,
'cuz she traded in the morning workouts for morning sickness.
Feeling nauseous, sleeps on a mat because she's cautious.
Give life or take life, that's her only options.
Only if she had a magic wand, she'd go back to that night
and put her clothes back on.
But she can't change time, or what's growing inside.
How could she love something that's barely alive?
Her body's aching, shaking, from sweaty palms, and cold sweat.
Mentally exhausting like phone sex.
No regrets, life or death, it's high stakes.
'cuz right or wrong, it's only her choice to make.
I'm so sorry for all that I've done,
I'm so sorry for what I've become.
I'm so sorry, so sorry for wasting your time,
I can't hold you back 'cuz I'm losing my mind.
I'm so sorry for all that I've done,
I'm so sorry for what I've become.
I'm so sorry, so sorry for wasting your time,
I can't hold you back 'cuz I'm losing my mind.
[Side]
- Help!
[Girl:] You smell like perfume. That's NOT mine.
[Guy:] Your head's going fucking crazy, Your head is going crazy.
Gotta get outta here and look after myself.
[Girl:] What? What's so wrong with me that you can't love me?
[Guy:] Look-
[Girl:] What is wrong with me? I do everything for you.
I, I, I make myself look good, I go to the gym.
I, I eat like a fucking rabbit.
I don't, I don't know what else to do.
Tell me.
[Guy:] Baby, you don't understand because-
[Girl:] What it is I have to do to make you love me.
I'm so sorry for all that I've done,
I'm so sorry for what I've become.
I'm so sorry, so sorry for wasting your time,
I can't hold you back 'cuz I'm losing my mind.
I'm so sorry for all that I've done,
I'm so sorry for what I've become.
I'm so sorry, so sorry for wasting your time,
I can't hold you back 'cuz I'm losing my mind.
I'm so sorry for all that I've done,
I'm so sorry for what I've become.
I'm so sorry, so sorry for wasting your time,
I can't hold you back 'cuz I'm losing my mind.
----------------------------------------------------
SUPERCHICK
"Courage"
I told another lie today
And I got through this day
No one saw through my games
I know the right words to say
Like "I don't feel well," "I ate before I came"
Then someone tells me how good I look
And for a moment, for a moment I am happy
But when I'm alone, no one hears me cry
I need you to know
I'm not through the night
Some days I'm still fighting to walk towards the light
I need you to know
That we'll be OK
Together we can make it through another day
I don't know the first time I felt unbeautiful
The day I chose not to eat
What I do know is how I've changed my life forever
I know I should know better
There are days when I'm OK
And for a moment, for a moment I find hope
But there are days when I'm not OK
And I need your help
So I'm letting go
I need you to know
I'm not through the night
Some days I'm still fighting to walk towards the light
I need you to know
That we'll be OK
Together we can make it through another day
You should know you're not on your own
These secrets are walls that keep us alone
I don't know when but I know now
Together we'll make it through somehow
(together we'll make it through somehow)
I need you to know
I'm not through the night
Some days I'm still fighting to walk towards the light
I need you to know
That we'll be OK
Together we can make it through another day
----------------------------------------------------
SILVERCHAIR
"Ana's song"
Please die Ana
For as long as you're here we're not
You make the sound of laughter
and sharpened nails seem softer
And I need you now somehow
And I need you now somehow
Open fire on the needs designed
On my knees for you
Open fire on my knees desires
What I need from you
Imagine pageant
In my head the flesh seems thicker
Sandpaper tears corrode the filth
And I need you now somehow
And I need you now somehow
Open fire on the needs designed
On my knees for you
Open fire on my knees desires
What I need from you
And you're my obsession
I love you to the bones
And Ana wrecks your life
Like an Anorexia life
Open fire on the needs designed
On my knees for you
Open fire on my knees desires
What I need from you
Open fire on the needs designed
Open fire on my knees desires
On my knees for you
---------------------------------------
RADIOHEAD
"Creep"
When you were here before
Couldnt look you in the eye
Youre just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
And I wish I was special
Youre so fuckin special
But Im a creep, Im a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
I dont belong here.
I dont care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice
When Im not around
Youre so fuckin special
I wish I was special
But Im a creep, Im a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here?
I dont belong here.
Shes running out again,
Shes running out
Shes run run run running out...
Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
Youre so fuckin special
I wish I was special...
But Im a creep, Im a weirdo,
What the hell am I doing here?
I dont belong here.
I dont belong here.
------------------------------------
JOYDROP
"Beautiful"
If I was beautiful like you
All the things I would do
Those not so blessed would be crying out murder
And I’d just laugh and get away with it too
Like you do
If I was beautiful like you
I would never be at fault
I’d walk in the rain between the rain drops
Bringing traffic to a halt
But that would never be
That would never ever be
Cause I’m not beautiful like you
I’m beautiful like me, beautiful like me
If I was beautiful like you
I’d be quick to assume
they’d do anything to please me, why not
To see their reaction when you walk into the room
But that would never be
That would never ever be
Cause I’m not beautiful like you
I’m beautiful like me, beautiful like me
Beautiful, beautiful like me
Like me, Like me...
If I was beautiful like you
I’d have so many friends
All fighting for my time to be next in line
So if I hurt one, I wouldn’t have to make amends
That would never be
That would never ever be
Cause I’m not beautiful like you
I’m not beautiful like you
I’m not beautiful like you
I’m beautiful like me
Beautiful like me, beautiful like me
I’m beautiful like me, I’m beautiful like me.
ja sam definitivno propali slučaj... uzivam u izgladnjivanju, na UNki mi je bilo puno previse hrane pa sam (kolko mi je god ovo neugodno rec) odustala prvog dana
stvarno sam jadna... al nije islo.. sad malo nes jedem tek tolko da se ne izgladnjujem do kraja, malo i povracam jer imam osjecaj da je i to malo hrane previse i jednostavno gurem prste i.... znate dalje...
upisala sam se i u teretanu, ici cu 5 puta tjedno, ova 2 dana kad necu ic cu malo vjezbat doma i puno hodat.
planiram nekak formulirat te obroke tak da nebudem pregladna a opet ni da se nažderem... mislim da cu doruckovat kavu, rucat snitu kruha od punog zrna (bez brasna) s malo sira i prije teretane neko voce da se ne zrusim.
to je ukupno oko 100 kCal jer taj kruh ima stvarno malo kalorija.
izgledam malo tanje al vaga i dalje nije na mojoj strani...
al dobro... lagano ce se to poboljsat, samo moram imat strpljenja... i ovaj put si nekim cudom necu zadat cilj... nema vremenskog ogranicenja, nema broja kila koje planiram izgubit, nema broja centimetara koje treba smanjit. to me samo udeprimira jer uvijek imam neke nerealne ciljeve pa ne uspijem i samo se razocaram, izgubim samopouzdanje i pocnem zderat ko svinja. bitan mi je samo skinny izgled i nije mi bitno kolko kila pritom imam.
sad jos samo moram nekog deckica nac i prestat s promiskuitetnim ponasanjem htjela bi nekog ko ce mi ujedno bit i prijatelj a ne samo love-machine nemora bit zgodan, visok, crn... mora bit sladak i simpatican... al takvi su danas rijetki... il su zgodni pa su idioti il su jako dobri al fizicki neprivlacni... i htjela bi napokon neku vezu duzu od tjedan-2 puno trazim
u školi je savrseno, ona (ne)prijateljica se ispricala i rekla da je pizdila i nije skuzila kaj govori... mozes mislit... necu se vise opterecivat s njom...
ocijene su super kolko god mogu bit, sve u svemu sam sretna, al ima trenutaka kad sam sva u komi jer pocnem razmisljat o proslosti i svemu kaj si radim a uzalud je... al uvijek nadem nacin da se izvucem iz toga i da se pocnem smijuljit jer od plakanja nemam nikakve koristi osim kaj trosi puno kalorija
dugacak post za moj ukus, inace moji nisu bas tolko veliki... malo sam se raspisala...
htjela bi jos samo svima zahvalit na podrsci, cure, stvarno neznam kaj bi bez vas! volim vas punnnoooo punoooo najvise
saljem vam ogromne puse
cujemo se
Laurica
ok, realno, kolko puta smo to rekle i cule?! ja vise ni ne brojim...
nisam se sad relativno dugo javljala, bila sam na svim vasim blogovima, ni vi vise ne pisete kolko ste nekad..
ovih 3 tjedna kolko me tu nije bilo, bilo je svega... puno promjena na ljubavnom planu, u skoli je bilo dobro i uspjesno nekim cudom, al hrana... ajme....
3 dana na vodi pa se prezderavam 2 dana (ponekad povracam, ponekad ne, ovisi kak mi dode, al pokusavam ne povracat) pa sam opet na vodi 3 dana, pa opet 2 zderem... i to vise nema smisla... od sutra (dadada, opet od sutra, al ovaj put stvarno) sam na UN dijeti i iskreno se nadam da ce mi ic... razgovarala sam s nutricionisticom i rekla je da UNka uopce nije zdrava i da bi mogla bit stetna, al sigurno je zdravija od izgladnjivanja pa cu se ipak upustit u nju.
malo cesce cu se onda javljat, pisat postove i sve to da ipak izdrzim nekak jer bez javljanja i jadanja po blogu nikak nemogu
kilaža varira... to je zbog toga jedem/ne jedem koje sam radila... sad ce valjda ic dolje... prvih par kila navodno ide brzo i stvarno se nadam da ce i meni ic... naime, ovaj vikend je jedan meni vazan dogadaj i definitivno bi se na njemu htjela pojavit koju kilu laksa
dodatna motivacija za to je moja (ne)prijateljica koja mi je tijekom mojih dana gladovanja ukazala na to da sam ja sa svojih 60 kila i skoro 180 cm debela
dosta mi je kaj sama imam takvo misljenje... mislim da je to vise bilo neko podjebavanje il tak nesto, il jednostavno zna da me samo tak moze totalno sjebat, al definitivno me pogodila u bolnu tocku... tolko me nazivciralo to da sam nakon 10 minuta zivcanjenja zavrsila u skolskom wc-u, sjedila na podu i plakala... neki stvarno ne vide oko sebe...
ma... necu se zabrinjavat... sad cu na UNki jest i mrsavit a to je bezbolnije od izgladnjivanja...
idem popit svoj zadnji nescafe s frendicom od sutra (kolko znam) nema vise nesa... ak neko zna da se ipak smije pit Nes nek me obavezno obavijesti o tome
pusa komadi