What a wonderful day this is, for you my friend, because in this post I will teach you how to make friends. Now, I know what you are thinking: “Wow this guy is like tots amazing and fabulous and oh my goshhhh”, but you may also wonder what my qualifications are. Well have no worries, because right now, at this very moment, I have 358 Facebook friends. I know that’s way more then you have, but in this 4 steps I’m going to show you that you can be just as popular as me.
First of all, you need to find yourself a bar with good music and if you are under 18 a bar that sells liquor to minors if that bar can be found. Second of all you need to wait till everyone starts getting drunk and this is where the real fun begins. Third step is to get so drunk that you forget all about social norms. Now if you don’t have that much money to drink at the bar ( which is totally understandable because in today’s time if you want to get drunk you need to sell your much needed kidney) you need to “pregame”. According to urban dictionary “pregaming” is getting drunk or generally intoxicated before a party or social event regardless if there will be alcohol or other substances available at said event. You “pregame” by going to top markets such as “Plodine” or “Ktc” where you buy cheap liquor and drink like you haven’t taken a sip of liquid in years. The fourth and final step is to find someone as drunk as you and start hugging them and calling them your best friend. This will result in two ways. Either they will hug you back and with that your search for friend is over or you will end up in jail or Bračak with broken bones.
You’re welcome, Master of friendship