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Kolovoz 2009 (1)
Srpanj 2009 (2)
Lipanj 2009 (6)
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Travanj 2009 (2)
Veljača 2009 (1)
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Dnevnik.hr
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Zadovoljna.hr
OYO.hr
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Strange feelings in my mind...

Vaša Mrtva Spisateljica...
Ime:+Anamarija+
Nick:+Malena+
Datum rođenja:+19.7.1993+
Volim:+emocore+gothic stil+crnu,ljubičastu i bloody boju+mjesečinu+krv+paranormalne stvari+psihologiju+medicinu+
Hobi:+Pisanje+psihologija+
Uzor:+E.A.Poe+Anne Rice+
Škola:+SŠ Viktorovac Sisak+
Smjer:+Medicinska sestra+

My angel...






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Emo Quotes <3

The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.
I cry for the time that you were almost mine, I cry for the memories I've left behind, I cry for the pain, the lost, the old the new, I cry for the times I thought I had you
Not all scars show, not all wounds heal Sometimes you can't always see The pain someone feels
Whats the sense of wishing for something when I always just wish it away?
Every night i talk to the stars pretending its you.. it acts just like you tho.. far away and never replies to my questions
Why do people tell you to believe in what you want to but then tell you not to believe in the one true thing you do believe in?
Times a precious thing to waste, but friends are more precious
Kiss me im emo!
The sad truth is that most evil is done by people who never make up their minds to be good or evil.
The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom.
Do not assume that he who seeks to comfort you now, lives untroubled among the simple and quiet words that sometimes do you good. His life may also have much sadness and difficulty, that remains far beyond yours. Were it otherwise, he would never have been able to find these words.

Slike...<3/Emo poetry(www.emo-corner.com)/Gothic Poems

Our Love
Loves memory has traced our outline in this place.
But will the spider remember, or the sun?
Did the water capture our faces in permanence?
Does the wind create us anew as it blows?
Did the shadows from the trees record our passage beneath them?
Our secret been revealed.
Yet I have told no other.
I write these words in silence, in mute testimony
To what once was.
But our image remains alive in this place.
It can not be removed.
You, me,
We then,
Were here.
We saw the day and hoped for tomorrow.
We caught a brief glimpse of love's promise.
We were not liars,
But thieves of time.
For now time has now forgotten us,
Yet our memory lingers, and love remembers
This place that was ours.


Falling Away
I am bored with love
and it's passionless limbs
that drape over my bed
in a lethargic state of impotence
while wearing the same red heart
my soul picked up hitchhiking
off highway serendipity

Now here we are
alone in togetherness
trying to build dreams
with two by fours and glue,
but even a home
won't tie us together
when our hearts live alone

Poetic vows cliched
into nothingness
like all words do, eventually
and we allowed
our bodies to become
another pair of hollow shadows
that make love to a wall
instead of each other
and we wonder why
the roses are dying


Your Lies
Funny when things never change
Even when you say they will
But while your off s(rewing her
My life is standing still

You tell me that you love me
When I go to leave
You tell me I'm your only one
And I let myself believe

I know that you are using me
But you'll never let me go
I know that you don't love me
I know I'm just for show

I don't know If I can stand
To see you love another girl
You know that you broke my heart
You know that your my world

But while your standing by my side
I'll believe your lies forever
Cause everything seems so perfect
When we are together


Autumn Times
Autumn breeze frigidly touches ailing dreadful lives
Harshly darkness quietly surrounds the broken souls
Mellow serenades that once played between hearts
Pathetically have transformed into bitter sad songs

Somewhere beyond the flossy clouds
Cupid has lost his romancing arrows
Plays sad sonorous tunes on his bow
Dedicated to all weepy lonely hearts

Howling chilly wind blows through the mist
Sounds of sorrow spread allover the place
Fuzzy humid air submerges the inner lust
Lives decay slowly as the autumn leaves fall...

Emo-Corner.com - The place for emo guys and emo girls, emo hair, and emo music
Emo Girls


Emo-Corner.com - The place for emo guys and emo girls, emo hair, and emo music
Emo Girls


Emo-Corner.com - The place for emo guys and emo girls, emo hair, and emo music
Emo Girls


Emo-Corner.com - The place for emo guys and emo girls, emo hair, and emo music
Emo Girls


Emo-Corner.com - The place for emo guys and emo girls, emo hair, and emo music
Emo Icons


GOTHIC QUOTES <3<3<3

"what is it about the moonlight that draws my spirit in? The seduction? The stygian agony? I would give up my silber visions to know."
--------
"The agony in my eyes mirrors the moon light of my flawed soul"
--------
"Whay are my eyes so exquisite with poetry? And why do I no longer care?"
--------
"There is much darkness to be found in shadows.But you may need to sacrifice your silver mind to find it..."
--------
"The graveyards in my mind mirror the blood of my unliving purpose"
--------
"Why are my fears do tortured with solitude?And why do I no longer care?"
--------
"The graveyards in my existence mirror the moonlight of my obtenebrated solitude"
--------
"Why do we love death and the blood? My dear, you need only look into your own pain-filled soul to fine out"

GOTHIC POEMS

The Vampire

A man in dark from the east
prowels the night for blood to feast
he walks the streets from dusk till dawn
and doesnt even pass a yawn

this man is pale as though hes dead
his body cold from toe to head
his canines long and pearly white
he gives his victims no time to fight

a man came knocking on his door
he came at night to implore
he came and answers tried to find
he tried to unravel the creatures mind


he saw a coffin upon the floor
and found him self pinned to the door
he bared his neck and drank and drank
until to his knees the man had sank

their he knelt begging mercy please
and his clothes the vampire seized
he dragged him up upon his feet
and to his maker went to meet

I NEED NOT A REASON

The sky was filled with blood tonight
No wind a-blew
No smoke a-rose
But somewhere it seemed, d’it not seem right
Far below in nether
Across the seas a-feather
My life in thine
Mine heart in hand
A-top a raging storm a-stage
Sweet words flow from honey mouth
‘Tis not how they see me or hear
How dare thee speak when light doth shine
The light, it dote your saddened soul
A deciding decision in thine vast nothingness
How can one breathe when you are full of it?
Nothingness is, last of all
Only place to be filled or felt to rot
A hole in thine soul
It aches to desperation
But be three true
And stay thee noble
Fare not far, but search carefully
With a still learning heart
Thine spirit hath no where to turn but lust
A lust for love, is no love at all
But merely a pawn to castle in game
Then thee who nighly see
The truth of the dreams
What would one be
If one could not ponder
Unable to release a death-rising screech?

Black light in darkness

Sitting in darkness, around me just fear
You left me behind, you are not here.
I am full of questions that are making me insane
Maybe you can hear me, but I still feel just pain...

A black light is all that I can see
Just want it to stop, don't want it to be
I'm telling to myself- this can't be real
Is it my life that you had to steal?

And now I know that you played with me
Now I feel it, now I see
The shit that I went through because of you
You played with me and I had no clue

Black light shine on me...
Black light be here with me...
Black light take him away...
Black light stay...

DARK BLOOD BEAUTIES

In your hands,
We form the bonds
Together we shall die
No one can even lie

Fallen beauties of eden
Never even forgotten
But not begotten
In the eyes rotten

We shall be together
It shall be forever
No one will bother
Our love will gather

In the shadow
We shall wallow
In the high and low
Not even tomorrow

The end of light
We shall fight
With you my might
We shall have height

We never bend
We shall make amend
Gaia we shall tend
Till the end

PAIN
Pain is
hidden.
Not something
i share
with the
world.

It made
me what i am
today.

selfconcious.
scared.
hurt.
tears.

i cant be
me because
of the pain.

i want to
be free.
every thing
that happens
justs adds
another hole
to my already
damaged heart.

my pain is
like acid
its burns.

its toxic.
bottled
up and
stored to
keep everyone
from seeing
its true power.

im full of
toxic waste.
it runs through
my veins.
my heart.
my mind.
leaving a
mark where ever
it goes.

always stored.
my pain.
never shown.
kept to myself.

no one knows
the real me.
The me that
hurts inside.
they all think
im happy.
they will never
know the truth.

im hurt.
and ill say it.
but no one
can feel my
pain.
it belongs to
me.
it created
me.

Pain is who i am.

Nightmare

Its half past midnight
So dark except for the moon light
Walking through ‘can see graves afar
Looking up ‘can perceive the nebula neath a star

The air’s filled with a horrible atmosphere
Isolation and fear possesses the earth’s sphere
The vegetation’s dominated by deadly arbour
All these I perceive at this witching hour of horror.

As I proceed, the air gets hazy
Sense a creature afar and I get pacy
I took a close look
Not long how long it took.

Hear the sound of nocturnal creepers
Totter left ‘n’ right, a thorny branch hooked my zippers
Like unleashing the contents of Pandora’s Box
Behold I perceive a ferocious fox.

Think I see this creature again
A chimera, I try to make the best bargain
Run eastward as fast as I can
Seems to catch ‘spite the pace I ran.

I run southward which seems an advantage
Must escape this barbarous savage
But then in sight I see a creeping creature
Out of a graveyard I assumed a pasture.

Then I’m attacked by this ferocious beast
I surrender myself a wholesome feast
Look downwards and I see nothing but doom
Ah! It was a dream I heaved as I woke in my room.

IN YOUR ARMS

Hold me, my love,
Just one more,
Just to feel again your warm touch
Kiss me, again, my love
I want to taste your soft lips, again
Bite me,
I want to taste your sweet blood
Just one more,
Embrace me, again
‘cause in your arms I feel so safe
my angel, stay with me tonight
don’t leave me alone
share with me with this beautiful night,
oh my dear love, even words can’t describe how beautiful you are
when I am looking into your eyes, I see peace and joy
from that moment I know that you are my true love
oh, my love, how beautiful you are
after all this years I have lived I have never seen someone who had good heart
in your arms I feel safety and warm
when you embrace me I feel like I am in the heaven with you

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...You're better than drugs...Your love is like wine...(Skillets-Better Than Drugs <3)
subota, 30.01.2010.

Već godinu dana na ovome blogu pišem svoje pjesme i priče u velikoj nadi da će me netko upamtiti po mojim mislima i osjećajima,ali očito je to uzalud...Zar su ljudi toliko fokusirani na sebe i svoje misli?Ili su fokusirani na ono materijalno što nas vodi kroz ovaj svijet?Toliko bijesa me prožima u ovom trenutku...Bah...Moje random misli ovdje neće nikome pomoći,zar ne?

*Just come and break me...Rip me,please,take me!*

Doživjela sam mnogo stvari...Mnogo toga sam vidjela...Jedan moj prijatelj mi je jednom rekao:"Čitaj da bi razumijela ljude!".Ok,jasno mi je da su književnici ljudi,da su umovi različiti,da kroz djela naučim sve o njima.Ali zar se nikada niste zapitali kako je to živjeti kroz ljude?I to baš kroz njih,a ne kroz njihova djela?Zar nikad niste pomislili kako je to veličanstveno?

*Live your life through my veins...Can you understand me now?*

Svako ljudsko biće je jedinka sama po sebi...Jedinstven primjerak...I svaki je vrijedan...Željela bih,malo za promjenu,umjesto objavljivanja pjesama objavljivati odgovore na vaša pitanja...Na vaše duhovne patnje i nedoumice.Voljela bih znati koliko sam zaista živjela kroz ljude i koliko sam ih razumijela.Koliko strana medalja poznajem?Rekli su da ih ima samo dvije...Zar je samo dobro i loše u životu?Moramo li birati?U zadnje vrijeme je sve jednako...

*Let me read you...*

Vodite me prostorijama vašeg uma...Nadam se da sam spremna za to putovanje...Pitajte me...Odgovorit ću vam...


Vaša


Mrtva Spisateljica



| 5 | Komentiraj | On/Off |


Here I stand victorious!
ponedjeljak, 25.01.2010.

Dakleee...Nije me dugo bilo,zar ne?
Nedostajala sam vam?
Dogodilo se mnogo toga u mom životu...
...Nova ljubav je najbitnija... <3 Bruno <3...
Najviše od svega,shvatila sam da nisam radnik u kamenolomu...
Ne trebam stalno popravljati osobe koje su slomljene...
...Dovoljno je popraviti ih jednom,a dalje ostati uz njih i davati savjete...
Naučila sam koliko je moja sreća bitna,a ne samo tuđa...
...No nisam postala sebična...^^...
Uskoro ću nastaviti s novim postevima...Nadam se da vam je drago što sam se vratila...
Nadam se da vam je drago što sam jača...
...I što više nisam sama...^^

...Mnogo ugriza od vaše Mrtve Spisateljice...

{Bruno,volim te...^^}

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Neki shit...Nemam volje za pisanje trenutno...Volim vas...
petak, 07.08.2009.

***YOU SHOULD BE AFRAID***

I kept holding on to you...
...But I can't do it anymore...
...Oh It hurts to see how you suffer in this silence...
She shuts your mouth...
She swallows your tears...
Don't you forget about us,darling...
Yes,I let you go...
...Oh...Yes...

...I came just for a second...
...Just to see are you here...
...You were writing something to me...
...But I have left before you wrote down all what you wanted...
You said:Gone...
...Yes,I went so fast...
Someday I will come back and explain why did I let you go...
...Wherever I go,you are following me...
Spreading wings and flying away...
...That is our dream...
...Yes...
...Our dream is to be free...
...Or it was...

...You can't forget about me...
So...Ask me...
...Will you...?
...Do you want to...?
...Can you...?
...Take a step backward and stop...
...
...And now...
...
...Take two steps foward...
...
Now stop and do it again...
...
I can see...You are so scared...
And you should be!

...Why did you let me go...?


***AFFECTION IN THE WRONG WAY***

...I can feel her...
She swims in our precious sea...
...She swims to you...
I wish I could control the water...
I wish I could command the waves...
...Her long dark brown hair is floating...
I wish I could choak her!
I want to see her dead body floating on the surface...
...She deserves to DIE...TO DIE... DIE!!!

"She is just a friend..."
...Yeah...Right...
...I don't kiss my friends...
Her knowlage can't beat me...
...There are more important things than books and inteligence...
Bravery...Understanding...Love...Friendship...Helping...
...She just wants to get you!
Her net is tough...Her touch is poisonus...
I can't lose you...
...I know you love her dark mind...
I know you like her...
...Yes,I'm so jelous on her...
She had you before me...

...I can see her picture...
He looks pretty good...
...Hmm....Haha...No...She just can't beat me...
I WONT LET HER BEAT ME!!!
...She is like a sun...I CANT WATCH HER UGLY FACE!
...She is like an air...SHAPELESS...Ameba...Hahaha...
...She is like a liquid fire...I WILL TURN HER TO STONE...
...She looks like a flower...I WILL WREST HER PETALS!
She just doesn't wants to mees up with me...
Belive me,girl,you don't want me for your enemy...

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Eh...Bila sam in the baaaad mood...Predstavljam vam Rape me & I know you,Lestat...
subota, 18.07.2009.


***RAPE ME...****
...Fire...
...Concupiscence...
I wish you can hear me say:NO!...
...Your hands...
...Your lips...
It's hurting me...
...
You will break me!Please,stop!
NO!
Somebody,help me!
...

...Quietude...
Do you like that?
...NO!......
You have only wanted to find your place in my diary...
Do you like when I kiss you?
...NO!......
Tell me why have you done this?...
Do you really wanna know?
...NO!......
Somebody,please help me...

You have the power to break...
You have the strenght to take...
You have a conscience to rape me...Once again...
...NO!...
...Let me go!...

So please tell me...
Why do you injoy giving me the pain?...

You tied me up...
...You stop standing up...You sat down on top of me...
You were laughing in my face...
Give me some answers...
Why is it so good?
...When I cannot scream...

What shall I do?

You blocked my mouth with your hand...
...Unzipped your pants and took a deep breath...
I never tried to find a replacing for your place...
...I told to no one...
Something is getting in my way...
...Feelings...
...Diary...
...Your smile...
...Your voice...
That I cannot ignore...
It's dark in here...
...I just wanna disappear...
Please,release me!!!

NO!!!

***I KNOW YOU,LESTAT...****
He said to me,long time ago,my words are empty...My words are...LIES...
So...?
What shall we do?
...I can't proove anything to him...
Why?
Why is it so far...far away?...
Everything is hidden in my mind...
You could come and get it out...
...Figure it out...
BUT YOU DID NOT!It was not just my imagination...
...My feelings were real...
...But...
...Now...
...Now I can't feel anything...
Why?...
...Why I'm still standing here...?
...Watching the box of your favourite cigarettes...
...I'm shaking...
...So...So damn weak...
...What have you done?...

...A demon...
...Yes...Oh,yes...
My personal torture...
...This anger...
...This pain...
...This chains and this black collar...
...I was just yours...
...Your Jesse...
...The girl with the violin...
...But the Lestat's journal was not the same...
I know you...LESTAT!
...Haha...Yes...
I know you very well...
...Hushhh...Hush,Lestat...
Do not say I'm a layer...
LAYER!
Who left eight months ago?
...haha...
YOU DID!
Who was lying to my face?
YOU DID!
...
...
haha...Lestat...Lestat...Dear Lestat...
It's not your name!
NO!

...You cannot be like him...
...Like...Lestat...
He is so much more than you can ever be...
...I called you "The Gentleman with A Smile..."...
But YOU are not a gentleman..
...you...
...you are...
...you are..FOOL...
{haha...yes...}...

Say hello to your personal nightmare...
...Say hello...To ME!...
...you will be so alone...
...alone...
...alone in yourself...
...yes...haha...
...You are not even good enough for yourself...

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Evo,Summer Romance & Chocolate
subota, 11.07.2009.

****Summer Romance****

I hope you can't hear me...
...Now I'll tell them our story...
...

...He was just a little boy...
It happend at one hot summer night...
...It was really one of the most beautiful night...
Sprinklers were shining all the way...
...I was just a young girl...
My dress was brown like his eyes...
...My blanket was warm like his hands...
It happend on the eve in 1809...

Now I will tell them all lies...
...I hope you can't hear me...
Listen to me,good people...
...He looked at me...
...He said "Hello..."...
...He took my hand...
...We danced all night...
...He sang to me...
...I was in his arms...
...He was warm and safe...
...I was happy...

I hope you can't hear me...
...Now I'll tell them the truth...
...He looked at me...
...He said "Hello!"
...He never took my hand...
...He sent me one false kiss by the air...
...We sat all night...
...He never sang to me...
...I never was in his arms...
...He was cold and awe...
...I was happy,but he was not...
...He lied to me...
...He was telling me false stories...
...His crooked smile broke my heart...
...He was faking,but I was not...

Lala...lala-lala...la...lalala...
...
...Now I'm dancing...
...I'm dancing on his favourite song...
...This is just an epic story...
...An epica...
He slipped away...
...And I am not the same...

Now remove hands from your ears and listen to me,boy...
...I hope you will hear me clearly...
The day you slipped away...
...From that day I am not the same...
...Why don't you break up?
...Why can't you wake up?...
Summer can't bring you back...
It's summer...But you are not coming back...

****Chocolate****

...A drum...
Bam...Bam-bam...Bam...Bam-bam...
...What's that?...
Shh...
Can you hear it?...
...
...Bam...Bam-bam...Bam...
Here he comes...
...A boy...A vampire...A grecian god...

...I see his black leather coat...
The welt is moving...
...His half-long dark brown hair...
His chocolate eyes are glowing in the dark...
...I can see his power...
Can you taste it?

I can taste his tongue...
...He can kiss my lips...
He can bite my neck...
...And feel my blood in his mouth...
I always wanted this...
...Bloody kisses...
And impassionated night...
...Bam...Bam-bam...Bam...
Goes my heart...

...Mmm...
I feel the pain when he is gone...
...He knows I miss him...O yes he knows that well...
It's too late to try to live without that...
...This night he plays a little game...
Tell me where he could be...
...
No one can touch like he can...
...No one can love like he can...
...No one can hate like he can...
...No one can be beautiful like he is...
Heartbeat...
...Heartfelt...
O no...

...This stage...
...This microphone...
The pentagram around his neck...
...He has put it in my hand...
...He has closed my fist...
He has kissed it...
...
He is singing again...
...
Bam...Bam-bam...Bam...
He can hear my heart...
...Listen to it...
...
Bam...Bam-bam...Bam...
...
Faster...
...
...Bam...Bam-bam-bam...Bam-bam...Bam...
...
...Oh,yes...faster...
...Bam-bam...Bam-bam-bam...Bam-bam...

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| 14 | Komentiraj | On/Off |


Opet ja mozgam,haha...Uglavnom,tu su pjesme Guilty i Gunshot...I hope you like it...
četvrtak, 25.06.2009.

***GUILTY***
...Hmm...
...In pieces...
I see a knife in her hand...
Blood is dropping downwards it...
...The floor is wet...
Red coloured...
...This guilty is floating on your chest...
...In your very lungs...
Wondering why you have even tried to stand how he looks at me...
...Now your wide open eyes are looking your own blood...
And you are choaking in it...
...You have forgotten to live in this...
...It makes no sense you need me...
To hear my moan when you are torturig me...
...Without air...
...Without light...
...Without water...
...Without bread...
That are all familiar scenes...
...This guilty...
...This sorrow...
Now its all yours...
...Are you happy now?...

...Should I tell you why I have left?...
Should I put your guilty on the table like the playing cards...?
...You don't even rememeber how I fought for you!...
...Guilty...
...You wanna her me scream again...
...
Your guitar is killing me...
...Our song dries me inside when you play it...
...Yes,I still love you...
Yes,I love the pain you were giving to me...
I love hear you are torturing me...
...My life always belonged to you...
We just breath...
We just exist...
...
...I live for the day when you will stop beating me...
...I live for the day when I won't be addicted to you...
I need you...Don't leave me alone...

Her hand killed you...
I see...You are not breathing...
I'm ripping my bands from my wrists and my ankles...
I want to hold you in my arms...I need you...
I'm taking off every patch from my skin...
...I'm wiping your blood wih my bands...
...Slowly...
...Deadfull slowly...
She is shaking...
She is weaping...
She is begging me:"Go away..."
...But I won't leave you alone...
I want your body...
...I want your flesh and bones...
I need your hand...
I need your hurtle...
I need your fist...Beat me again...
Kick me,my love...
I love this pain...
Push me downstairs...
Bruises...Wounds...Blood...Pain...
...I miss all that...
Baby,wake up!

Undress me like you used to...
...Kiss me like only you knew...
...Grab my wrists and push me to the ground...
Stay here tonight...
Baby,wake up!!!

He is here...He has come for me...
...Goodbye,my sorrow...
Now I'm kissing happiness...
Now I am holding on to life...
Now I feel true love...
Now I'm smiling...
I am not crying...I am not paying...I am not beaten...
I'm beloved women of someone who holds me in his arms...
Sleep well,my sadness...
...I will smile for you...
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***Gunshot***
...Bam!...
...
...the gunshot...
...
...I am falling...
...I am dying...
Please run to me...I have taken the shot for you...

...Screaming faces...
...Stopped cars...
The police...
Firefighters...
Ambulance...
I don't need all that...
...Why are you just standing there?...
...
...Please...I beg you...I'm crying to you...
...Pain...
...Make it stop...
...Make me dead...
..I gave my love for you...
...
...Why are you just standing there?...

Now I see...
...She is standing next to you...
...Am I standing on your way?...
...I have taken the shot for you...
I know her identity...
She carries my name...But its broken...Like I am...
Ann Marie...Thats her name...
But my name spells together!
...
Why?...
...
Just look at her...At her mean eyes and smile...
Please...Look at her...She is smiling...
Please...LOOK AT HER!HURRY!
Please...

It stopped...
I have taken my last breath...
Ahh...
I can't see you anymore...
But your picture will be infront my eyes forever...
Even when they will rot in the ground...

And...Now...
...There is one broken glass...
...She ate your heart...
You have taken the shot for her...
She didn't make it stop...
...The police...
Firefigters...
Ambulance...
...You don't need all that...
I could make it stop...
...For you...
You could make it stop for me...
...
...Rotting together in the same ground...
...Goodbye...
...Goodbye...My beloved one...
...
...
...Goodbye...Annmarie...
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(My eye...hh..)



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Run...I još jedna hrpa misli...nazvala sam je Repeling the demon...
ponedjeljak, 22.06.2009.

**RUN**
The Moon...
...Changing my shape...
...He is changing me inside-out...
I rip my own skin...
...Underneath it I hide a curse...
...You want to know how is it?...
Let mi show you something...

...Turn the lights off...

This is disturb puls...
...Disturbance...
...It's better for you to think twice...
...Haha...
I rip him apart...
Can you see his flesh?
...
Oh yes...
...His white flesh...
Do you see his blood on my lips?
Do you see a joy inside of me?
..I'm smiling...

...I am a hunter...
...They better run...
RUN!
...Run...Or you are dead...
In this restless night I am the queen of the sanguinarius...
I always wanted to be that...
...Bloodists...
...That is so good,Isn't it?...
RUN!
..Or I will catch you...

Turn the lights on...

Do you still want this?
Are you here?
...Halo...?
...
...Halo?...
...
...Haha...
...
...Ofcourse you don't want this...
...You runaway...
RUN!
...Hahaha...
You can run but you cannot hide...
...Oh,yes...
...Tomorrow I will eat you alive!


**REPELING THE DEMON**
...Shhhh...
..Listen to my voice...
...I'm calling you...Calling you in your very dreams...
...You...And me...
...Togetherness...
...Eternity...

Run into my eyes...
...I want you...
I will run into your arms...
...I love you...
Read from my lips...I'm saying:
...Come...Please...Come...COME!...
...I don't need a permission from her...

...Graveyard...
...Candles...
...My liquid fire...my blood...
...Your wide mysterious river...your eyes...
I want it all...
I want it now...
Sometimes I get this feeling...
...You are watching me from the sky...
...I fell you...
...I smell you...
I cant breath the air when you are not in it...

...And now I feel dizzy...
...I can't feel my legs...
...I'm falling somewhere...The sense is fading...
You were here long time ago...
Do you hear it?
My shallow breathing...
...Inhale...
...Exhale...
...
...This is how I disappear...
...GO!...

Shhh...
...Be quiet...
...Please,hush...
Ta-dam...Ta-dam...
Can you hear it?
...My heart tells me I must give you everything I have...
...Everything I am...
Shhh...
..I don't want a word from you...
...He says:
I would become a ghost...So I can't hurt you anymore...
...
NO!
...Please,go away!...
GO AWAY!
...I am afraid...
...It's 2pm...But I still see the night...
...Can you save my eyes,they are melting in the sun...
Can you make me see you again?
No...No...NO!
Go away,please...Let me smile...
Go away...
Go...

See,my love?Do you see it?
...I made him to leave...
...He left...
I see you lying next to me...
He is gone!
Yes...Oh yes...
Stay,please...Stay here...
I beg you...Stay here till I fall asleep...
Hush...Hush...
I'm closing my eyes...
...I'm yours...
...
...Kiss me...
...
...Thank you...
<3
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For my Vampire...ˇˇ^^
četvrtak, 18.06.2009.

...Pain...
...Love...
...Hate...
...Passion...
...Desire...
...A murder...

...The most dredful thing is a fear...Out innermost desire...Our thirst...
..."I just wanna ove you..."...
...How many times I've spoken these words?It's so sad...
...I've never promissed myself there will be a sunshine everyday...
...I've never thought this will be my last opportunity to go somewhere I belong...
...I've always belived in YOU...
...I belived you'd come for me...
...Halo...?
...Halo...Are you there?...
...Aren't we too weak?Am I so foolish?...
...Running back through the fire just to save me...
...Can you come for me?...

...Lonelyness...
...Tears...
...Depression...
...Time...

...Tick-tack...Tick-tack...
...Tick-tack goes a little watch...
...The midnight is gone but I'm still waiting for you...
...My bloodthirsty heart can't beat any longer...
...Aren't we too ill?Am I so sensless?...
...Too late...
...Tick-tack...Tick-tack...
...Dream approaches...

...Blood...
...Lips...
...Eyes...
...A touch...
...A kiss...
...Sweet assassin...

...This razor...
...Its blade...
...I'm cutting you...
...You're laying on my bed in this hot summer night...
...I'm drinking...
...You're breathing...
...How long can I keep you mine?...
...You know the place where we can run to...
...You know who I am...
...Someday I'll take you deep within my heart...
...I can take you now...
...If you really really want that...

...A kill...
...A hunter...
...My lover...
...My vampire...
...Blood...
...His hand in mine...
...Greenish eyes...
...Chocolate in my sight...
...A trigger...
...Affecion...

...Hush...Hush,darling...
...It's time to sleep...
...Bite me forsefully...
...And take me there...
...Say to me...
...Hush,hush...
...And my lips are sealed...
...Kiss me...
...And take me there with you...

...You...
...Me...
...Life...
...Immortality...
...Evermore...
...Undying rage...
...Hush,hush...

...Tick-tack...Tick-tack...

...Hushh...

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Just my thoughts again...I hope you'll like it...My inspiration is this song and one of my dreams...Perhaps,I know now I mustn't let him go...So I'll give my best to keep his beautiful smile on his face...^^
ponedjeljak, 15.06.2009.

And I will be all what you want...All your life...All your misunderstood memories...I will take you deep inside my ocean and my mind...I will gather all our lifes to be with you always when you need me...And I can't let you go away again...
You said to me there is no women like I am...You said you want me close...To take a walk with me and pass through the graveyard...To kiss my pale lips and take me to the Neverland.Why have I belived you?...Why I'm waiting for your call?Why I'm still trying to catch you?Why,my love?...
You are a dream...The most beautiful dream...Untouchable...Unreal...These words I have written are just a fiction.Just a small piece of what we could share,my love..."They belived in nothing...Now they are nothing..."she said.Isn't she?We must walk through that wasteland of eternity...Through the empire of corpses and spilled blood...Without love...Without touch...We are still waiting for a kiss of dawn...Why must we share this pain?
I'm standing in the middle of nowhere asking myself "Who am I?"...My sight is weak...Looking my hands and realise there is no ME...I'm just a space...And I want you inside of me...I'm a world...World of chaos...And I want you...
Now I'm crying this slaty tears...They are slipping down my cheak...My eyes are lightless...My eyelashes are wet...It hurts me so bad beacuse you are so far away from me...Now I'm broken and I just can't make it alone...Getting through the monsoon...This time I just can't be alone...
FIND YOURSELF IN THIS,my darling...You will make me fell okay...Now I see,honestly,this words are the one which I have left inside...I'm running back to my death,running away from everyone...Keep me away from turning apart...I know you told me you hate when I am sad,but I can't help myself...I will swallow my dreams of being with you forever...To get you through this darkness and show you my light...There is nothing much to say to you,so you can see your name in a heart on a piece of paper...I'm a guardian and I must hold my head high...But I will be all that you want...All my life,I will be there by your side forever...
And I'm sorry for all this mess in my head...I'm sorry for bothering you with that...I'm sorry because I can't laugh forever with you...I'm sorry for turning apart...I'm sorry beacuse I'm weak...I'm sorry beacuse I can't make everything okay...I'm sorry beacuse I'm crying now...I'm sorry beacuse my lips will be salty when you will kiss me for the first time...I'm sorry beacuse my sight is dizzy,and I can't see the words I'm writing...Now I can't breath easy...I can't turn myself around...I can't let you go...
I'm just a little girl...Not a woman...And I'm selfish beacuse I can't let you go...Yes,I'm inlove...I'm guilty because of that...But I'm really not sorry for that...But its' so hard to admit to myself I'm inlove in a dream...
Let me catch you...You won't fall...I will catch you and hold you in my arms...Let me run for you,let me reach out for you...Let me touch you...Let me catch you,you are a dream...The dream of my happiness which I'm afraid the most...Destroy my fear...Let me hunt you...Let me catch a dream...<3



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Ovo sam dobila od seke,pa eto,da riješim testić...
četvrtak, 11.06.2009.

~ Trenutno ti svira:30 Seconds To Mars-The Kill
~ Najvažnija sitnica koju moraš napraviti svaki dan: slušati glazbu od kad se probudim pa do kad idem spavat..XD
~ Pjesma koju slušaš svako jutro:Nemam baš nešto određeno...U zadnje vrijeme je to Shut Up od LaFee
~ Tvoja psovka: jebo te patak..bwahah, moja i sekina
~ Navika prije spavanja: slušat glazbu.. pomislit na jednu osobu...Dopisivati se na mob...XD
~ Mobitel ti zvoni: Complicated-Avril Lavigne
~ Kad izlaziš iz kuće: kad mi mama da...gah...I kad se meni da ići,a u zadnje vrijeme mi se ne da...
~ Ne možeš izaći bez: mp4-a, moba ili nečega što će mi svirati..
~ Prvo što pomisliš ujutro: ma daaj, koliko je to već sati.. ili muka mi je.. ili neeee, šutiii! XD(kao i moja seka,haha)

*...ŠkOla...
~ Škola je: nešto gdje pobjegnem od ludare koja se zove "kuća"
~ Ideš u: medicinsku
~ U razredu sjediš: s Cigijem(moi teddy bear će pasti razred!!!KME!!!oČem da oCtane!!!)
~ Na satu: spavam, crtam, pišem pjesme, ne prepisujem što profač da.. mazim se s Cigijem...XDXD...Okrećem se k BebaČu i Peharcu...
~ Predmet koji voliš:praktikum i anatomija
~ A onaj koji jednostavno mrziš:fizikaaaaaa...matematikaaaaa...(ali voljam matematičare,haha,(Filip))
~ Tvoje bilježnice su: uredne...valjda...
~ U šk.torbi uvijek imaš:knjige...mob..mp4...svaštaru...knjige...
~ Tvoj razred je: a ok su ljudi...puno bolje nego osnovnjak...napokon se osjećam prihvaćenom...<3
~ Kad je gotov zadnji sat ti:jurim za društvom i idemo skupa na bus...Zagrlim BebaČa(to je već ritual,ahahaha) i borim se da ne sretnem Pernara(God forgive me,but I really really really don't like him)


*...ObiTeLJ...
~ Za tebe predstavlja:a ne znam..
~ U kući prebivaju: mama,očuh i dosada od mog brata...
~ Živcira te: mama, bratttt!!!!!
~ Kod svoje obitelji voliš: a ne znam...malo toga...uvijek osjećam da ne pripadam ovdje...frendovi su moja druga obitelj...
~ Vi ste koji tip obitelji? : kaj postoje tipovi obitelji? -.-..dosta razoren tip...
~ Praznike provodite:doma...gah
~ Najljepša uspomena: iz obitelji? pfffff... ne znam, uvijek se nađe *određena osoba* koja sve usere
~ Mama je za tebe: osoba koju jako volim i koja me ne razumije hahaha...L ya mum...
~ Tata je za tebe:nemam tatu...a očuh je ok...
~ A braća / sestre:gnjavaža.. posebno kad mu dosadno pa ubija dosadu zajeb mene..-.-...maltretira me svakodnevno...


*...EkIpA...
~ Pravi prijatelji:emm.. polako sam počela gubit vjeru u to.. al ajd.. Nikicha,RATKO(L ya brotherrr),NELA(L ya sekaaaa),Lutak,Dani,Cigi,BebaČ,Lucija,FILIP...<3
~ Jesi li ikad doživio/la razočaranje?: da.. uvijek=(
~ Najdraža uspomena? :amm...mislim da je to ona kada sam još bila u kontaktu s Denisom...Heh...One večeri provedene uz cam...Zezanje...Njegov vampirski osmjeh wiii, **svrš**XD...Uf...Ili kada sam se svađala s Vučkom(Matko legendo hahaha,grrrrr)...I kad sam upoznala Nelly i Ratka...Kad sam se pomirila s Danijem...Amm...KAD JE NELLY DOŠLAAAA:::AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...
~ Paše ti više m ili ž društvo? : muško očito..XD

*...LjuBaV...
~ To je: osjećaj koji ne može bez boli...kao čipka od strune optočena biserima...predivna,ali boli kad je obučemo...
~ Ljubav boli ili: da.. uvijek
~ Veze su: previše idealizirane...osobito s moje strane,to mi je mana...Uvijek mislim da je dečko idealan...
~ Kratka/duga veza? : duga ipak...=(
~ Što misliš o "brijanju"? : Ne znam...nikad nisam zabrijala s nikime...Nije mi do toga...Trebam ozbiljnu vezu,a ne briju...
~ Razlog za prekid? : uvijek moja emotivnost...dajem sve,a ne dobijem ništa...Uostalom,nisam imala puno veza...
~ Jesi se opekao/la? : uvijek...zato ponekad mislim da mi jednostavno nije suđeno da imam dečka...ˇˇ
~ Jesi sad zaljubljen/a? : da...ali nisam sposobna to pokazati...Mislim da je previše toga ostalo u meni i više to ne mogu izbaciti iz sebe...Denis...Leo...Sve to...Denisov povratak me šokirao...To je bio THE šok...A sada je opet daleko od mene...(Gentleman With A Smile 4ever).Čak ni sad kad sam našla nekog koga bih fkt mogla voljeti,ne mogu...Nisam više to ja...Nadam se da će biti prilike da me on zaista vidi onakvu kakva jesam...I da ću moći dati onoliko ljubavi koliko sam zaista sposobna dati i koliko on zaslužuje,a zaslužuje zaista puno...Zlo jedno malo,haha(Andrej<3)^^

*...OnA oSobA koJa Te...
~ Nasmijava? Nikicha...Lutak...seka...braco...
~ U potpunosti razumije?seka i braco...
~ Ljuti većinu vremena? BRATTT...alaaaa...issse...
~ Izluđuje? dečko jedan...Lucija...XD...(šalim se ljubavi)
~ Zadržava na telefonu?seka kad je nazovem jer imam free calls...
~ Čini nervoznim/om u pozitivnom smislu?-Ammm...Hmm...Denis...Ali samo kad bih ga vidjela...Ma shit...
~ Sjedi s tobom u razredu?-CIGIIII...moa maza...XD(Ove godine pada razred,i jako sam tužna zbog toga...sad nemam s kim drijemati pod satovima ni zezati profesore...XDXD)
~ Potajno želi? -Kak da ja to znam?-.-
~ Povrijedila?-aaah...brdo osoba...no comment...
~ Podnosi uvijek i u svakom trenu?-seka...braco...Filip...Lucija...
~ Zna u detalj? -seka i braco (<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3)

*...SuPrOtnI sPoL...
~ Na izgledu primjećuješ: OČIIII...to obveeznoooo...ohooo...
~ Karakterne osobine: odan...iskren...emotivan...bad boy...zaštitinički nastrojen...pinkicu ljubomoran...XD...da mu je stalo...heh
~ Privlači li te određeni stil cure/dečka? : paa.. prije bi se okrenula za nekim rokerom ili gotičarom nego za nekim šminkerom.. al nije mi to toliko bitno..XD..(kao i seka...haha)
~ Romantičnost? -ooo daaa...ja sam propali romatičar...XD
~ Mora li to biti netko sličan/a tebi? : -pa u nekim granicama.. moramo ipak imat nešt oko čega čemo se prepirat..haha
~ Voliš da te se tretira kao... : Amm...kad me zaštitnički zagrli...kad mi pokaže da mu je stalo.. i da me fkt želi.. =(
~ Mrziš: heh.. napasne, umišljene, glupa likove..-.-...i one koji ne vide pravu vrijednost neke cure nego se okreću za fufama...tatine sinčiće koji ti mašu pred nosom novčanicom od deset kuna i misle da ćeš mu popušiti...

*...PosLJeDnjE...
~ Zadnji sms: Andrej,Filip
~ Ocjena? -5 iz zdravstvene i praktikuma...i top iz anatomije,hahaha(Špija legendooo,vidimo se na patologiji i kirurgiji!!!)
~ Suze?-Kad sam poslala Denisu pismo...gah...i kad sam na prvi maj bila vani s Leom(nije imao s kime ići,a ja jebena majka Tereza moram izvući tog kretena van...kill me)..kad sam shvatila da se odurno ponašam prema Andreju...that hurts me the most...
~ Tjelesna aktivnost?-tipkanje po kompu...XD...i trčanje za Cigijem hahaha...LUDOOOO
~ Razočarenje: Denis...( ~ Razlog za osmijeh? -Filipovo filozofiranje kako ću naći boljeg frenda...LUDO MOA,JA TEBE VOLJATI PUNJOOO...
~ Izlazak? -u knjižnicu...XD
~ Koncert? -Nezz...
~ Putovanje? . Pakoštane...
~ Zagrljaj? Od BebaČa...^^..Od Cigija...I hug od moje ljubavnice Lucy...HAHA..I jučer od Filipa,hh...
~ Poklon?-kaj je to?-.-
~ Kupljeni odjevni predmet? -majica...one šlape na kockice(TOTALLY EMOOO)
~ Razgovor na MSN-u?-Andrej...braco...seka...
~ Propušteni poziv? -nemam trenutno toga...
~ Misao? -There is no love here...So what will you doooo???//Sometimes I wish I could save you...And tell you the things I want you to know...//OOO daj me ubi Bože,kad padam na daljinu,a ostavljam kretene iz Siska tu.XD

*...StVarNo (ne)BiTne Stvari...
~ Analiziraš li puno? -ne baš...Samo ljude na psihološkom nivou...
~ Kad ideš van brineš se:Da me stara neće dočekati s prodikom...I da će se ekipa napit ko crkotina...
~ Tvoja najveća mana je: Emotivnost...gah.to mi i Denis kaže i smeta mu to...
~U kafiću naručiš: Amm...Nescaffe...Uh dooobar konobar donese genijalnu kavu,volim gaaaaa....XD
~Pušiš: neee, fuj
~Na tvom playeru se najčešće vrti: ovisi.. svaki put nešto drugo, al ugl Him, 30 seconds to mars, in flames, bfmv,EPICA(kme)...
~ Za 10 godina se vidiš:na filozofskom,u ZG...sa svojim bracom i sekom...s dečkom kojem će biti stalo...
~ Plan za ljeto 2009. ? -Ići seki u VTC.Denisu u Orahovicu(samo da stanem ispred njega i da mi sve ono ponovi u facu...ipak je on Lestat,zar ne?heh))...Da možda Andrej dođe u SK(^^)
~ Želiš imati djecu? -Ofc...Rekla sam da će se sin zvati Noah ili Adrian,a kći Aurora...XD...Ali ne sad...Za kojih 15godina...
~ Gay is OK? : Ofc it's ok...



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