.......MOONDANCER..........

prijatelj mi je reka da stavin jos malo slikica pa evo................
AXE

i jos malo..............

ova ide sonji smijeh

to je to sta se tice slikica..........
a sad malo o nama hrvatima....hehehe............... nut zujo

You may find yourself to be Croatian if...

-You're 100% positive that your country is most beautiful in the world, despite the fact that you've never crossed the border.
-As soon as you`re born, you are expert in three (3) disciplines: Politics, Medicine an Football managment
-You're trying to convince people of purity of Croatian languange by using English.
-You're always complaining about problems in your life, but you never had guts to do something about it, with overall excuse: "neću prljati ruke, ja sam fin, bečka škola." (I won't get my hands dirty, I'm refined, Viennese school)
-Smoking any quantity or quality of grass at all is a natural hobby and you do it anywhere, anytime, with anyone (even the police, soldiers, and the President).
-Riots start, led by the police.
-All meals your MAMA (Mom) has ever prepared contain one key ingredient: "Vegeta" ('cause it is Croatian).
-You learned to walk and talk the first time you got drunk.
-You are never ever allowed to sit by an open window for fear of catching pneumonia (pronnounced ammonia) from the "propuh" (draught) (even in the middle of summer).
-You're not allowed to leave the house with damp hair.
-There is a bar in your church hall that contains a 2-year supply of brandy.
-You insist that you can spot a Serb from a mile away, and in fact a Serb can spot you a mile away.
-The use of vulgar language at home is unacceptable, unless it is Croatian -> If Croatians are vulgar than Serbian or Bosnian are POPESCU of vulgarity.
-English verbs are acceptable if used with the ending "-ati", which makes them Croatian: "play-ati", "study-ati", "fuck-ati"...
-Your DIDA (granddad) mows the lawn in knee high black socks and sandals.
-Your DIDA has a shot of "rakija" for breakfast.
-At least one family member makes his own wine.
-At least one family member makes his own 150 proof moonshine (rakija/šljivovica).
-"Šljivovica" is used not only to celebrate at all occasions, but to cure illness and as a massage lotion as well.
-"Loza" is another type of rakija, made from grape, and hers main power is to "correct" peoples mind and give super powers to people who drink it.
-At least once drinked "Rakija" a after have fight in the park.
-At the age of 13 you are only allowed to go out of town with your friends for Croatian soccer tournaments, folklore festivals, drinking binges, and dances.
-Your parents were at the party where you got drunk.
-The majority of your friends are also your relatives, even if they aren't your relatives; because you refer to their parents as "Teta" (aunt) and "Striko" (uncle).
-You are the only kid in your class who doesn't get to sleep in on Saturdays because of "Hrvatska Škola" ("Croatian School").
-"Kuhače" are not only used for stirring when cooking... they are also used by MAMA to beat you when there is no "šiba" (twig) handy...
-At least once you've told your parents that you'll call the police to report "child abuse" and your parents said "samo probaj..." (just you try).
-MAMA beat you in public on at least one occasion.
-When leaving the house to go out, you always receive the same warnings (regardless of age): "Pazi šta radiš" (watch wut u'r doin), "Pamet u glavu" (sanity in your head), "Nemoj me sramotit" (don't disgrace me), "Nemoj da ja šta čujem" (don't let me hear rumors)...
-Sadly, if something actually does happen, somehow MAMA will know before you make it home.
-MAMA gets pissed off at you for bringing home McDonald's, saying: "Šta će ti taj junk!?" (what you gonna do with that junk)
-Your parents insist that you'll end up being nobody if you don't graduate from "fakultet" (faculty).
-Lunch on Sundays has more courses than Amerikanci have for Christmas or Thanksgiving dinner.
-Your 13 year old sister can out-drink any Amerikanac.
-You know that in addition to fruit flavored Jello, gelatin can also be prepared with pigs' feet and that's called HLADETINA.
-You love "pašteta" (liver paté), but don't like bringing it to school or work for lunch because you'd be embarrassed if someone asked you what it was.
-There is a slab of fat (raw bacon) in your fridge called SLANINA.
-Your MAMA washes the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher.
-Vegetarianism is not a concept your parents understand.
-All other action stops when you hear people speaking Serbian somewhere and your MAMA starts to talk to you in English so that the Serbian people won't find out you speak "their" language and start trying to be your friends.
-You have at least one short-wave radio in your house.
-You smell garlic on the old man's breath behind you sitting on the KLUPA (bench) in church on Sunday mornings.
-You have a special bag for all of your credit cards.
Y-ou live with your parents until you are married.
-MAMA thinks that whenever you get sick it's because you didn't eat enough.
-Your little brother´s first word he´ll learn, will be a curse or some sexual organ. "kurac" (dick, penis).
-When upset, it isn't unusual for TATA to send you "u pizdu materinu" (in mother's pussy).
-BABA (grandma) & DIDA wear at least 3 layers of clothing in all seasons.
-DIDA and/or BABA spit into a napkin at the dinner table.
-Your parents turn the channel when there's a kissing scene, let alone what they do when there's a sex scene...
-DIDA & BABA insist you are quiet while they watch the news even though they don't understand a single word they're saying.
-Regardless of the fact that they don't understand what they're saying, they know more about what's going on in the world than you do.
-You never got the "Birds and the Bees" talk from MAMA or TATA as you were growing up.
-Whenever your parents said "vidit ćemo" (we'll see, maybe...) you knew that it meant "NO!"
-Everything that goes wrong in the world can somehow be traced back to Serbs.
-Your cousin in Croatia who calls you to send him money had a cell phone before you did and wears only name brand clothing.
-Your cousins are always complaining about having no job or money and still somehow own a brand new Mercedes.
-Your relatives in Croatia think it's strange if you are not married by the age of 18.
-You are only allowed to vacation in the homeland.
-At home you are only allowed to speak Croatian.
-You have 17 consonants in your name and only 2 vowels.
-No one can pronounce your last name and every kid in the block has a nickname for it.
-You cringe when you hear the word BATINE (chastisement) and hide.
-Your parents still prefer buying cassettes to CD's.
-When you start a fight with a stranger, there's a near 100% chance that the next day that stranger will have been multiplied by 15... you find yourself stuck.
-A word such as 'kleber' needs to be put in spelling in front of you before you are able to understand what it means. The typical reaction would be: AH! klEBER! (emphasizing the E and the R, so it doesn't sound like the german KLEBA)
-A Croatian wedding consists of a minimum of 1000 people, 2/3 of which you don't even know.
-Cake-eaters will not enter your home because of the sour cabbage heads fermenting in the basement.
-Cake-eaters want to go to your house and drink your TATA's wine.
-Your uncles argue about which words are Serbian and which are Croatian (even English words).
-Your uncles argue about where the sun set in their home village.
-Your parents wouldn't buy a VCR because they thought it would ruin the TV.
-Your parents wouldn't buy a microwave because it used radiation.
-When a tourist approaches you and asks if something is OK, or is he allowed, your first response will be : "NEMA PROBLEMA!" (no problem) "MOŽEŠ!" (of course you can).
-When you come to school and all of your teachers smell like booze.
-Then you come home and your home does too.
-You HAVE to use your hands when you talk.
-You can't have a meal without bread/rice/pasta.
-Your relatives alone can populate a small city.
-You gossip about your own family... with your own family.
-Getting married is the only way to escape your parents.
-You're still laughing your ass off because you know every single one of these are true.
-Upon reading this list you are either showing it to other people who are not Croatian hoping they will, despite all the crappy truth, think that being Croatian is cool, or you are offended, and you're assuming a Serb (who else) wrote it.