WAR QUEEN

02.04.2006., nedjelja

MORBIDIUS

I evo opet natrag moje morbidnosti. Ne mogu si pomoći. svaki put kad se želim početi osjećati bolje i krenuti sve iznova uvijek me nešto u tome spriječi. Ponekad mislim da jednostavno ne postoji način da se dosegne sreća-pogotovo onda kad sve izgleda bezizlazno i beskorisno. Ja jednostavno više ne mogu pronaći ljepotu u stvarima koje me okružuju. Na sve gledam cinički i licemjerno jer mislim da upravo takva su djela svih oko mene. Zbog toga sam puna negativnosti i uvijek sa željom da nešto promjenim no u tome ne uspijevam. Nedostaje mi moje prijašnje ja. Nedostaje mi ono doba kad sam uživala u društvu ljudi. nedostaje mi vrijeme kad sam ljude smatrala ljudima i bićima vrijednim poštovanja. Sada je sve drukčije. Više ne vjeruje da postoj samilost i ljubav. Danas je sve izobličeno i nikakvo. Nitko u sebi više nema načela i morala. Više nitko ne voli i ne doživljava ljubav onako kako su je doživljavali prije. Sve mi se više čini da ono što se danas naziva ljubavlju drugi je način za preživljavanje i traženje društva. U ovo doba za unutrašnju sreću i ispunjenje više ne služi ljubav već prva droga i stimulans koji se nađe po povoljnoj cijeni. A nad takvim svijetom sablažnjavam se i ne želim ga gledati, a na to sam primorana. Jedini koji uživaju u današnjem okruženju su djeca i to samo zato što žive u svijetu bajki i legendi. Kako će se samo iznenaditi kad odrstu i počnu spoznavati.

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Opis bloga

LIFE IS A BIG FIGHT

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IN THE END

It starts with one thing
I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try keep that in mind
I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know
Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It's so unreal
Didn't look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on, but didn't even know
Wasted it all just to watch you go
I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when

I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter

One thing, I don't know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try, keep that in mind
I designed this rhyme, to explain in due time
I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I'm surprised it got so (far)
Things aren't the way they were before
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me (in the end)
You kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I

I’ve put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There's only one thing you should know


NUMB


I'm tired of being what you want me to be
feeling so faithless
lost under the surface
I don't know what you're expecting of me
put under the pressure
of walking in your shoes
[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]
every step that i take is another mistake to you

I've
become so numb
I can't feel you there
become so tired
so much more aware
i'm becoming this
all i want to do
is be more like me
and be less like you

can't you see that you're smothering me
holding too tightly
afraid to lose control
cause everything that you thought i would be
has fallen apart right in front of you

[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]
every step that i take is another mistake to you
[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]
and every second i waste is more than I can take

but I know
I may end up failing too
but I know
you were just like me
with someone disappointed in you